Jennifer Lawrence Is Mystique In ‘X-Men: First Class’
Thursday, July 15 by

What the hell is she holding?Early reports that Amber Heard would play Mystique in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class were sexy… but wrong. That role is actually going to Winter's Bone star Jennifer Lawrence. The rising star will be coated in blue bodypaint to play the shapeshifter after she wraps the horror film The House at the End of the Street.With this announcement, also comes the news that Kevin Bacon will in fact play the film's villian. Which means, if you see him beating up any schoolchildren in England in the next few months, just keep walking. Just making a movie. Nothing to see there. (THR)

‘Dark Shadows’ Moving Forward: Tim Burton Fits Johnny Depp For Vampire Teeth
Thursday, July 15 by

Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.The days of nobody knowing what the hell Tim Burton is directing next have come to an end. Dark Shadows starring Johnny Depp (and probably Helena Bonham Carter) will be inked in next to sketches of mawkish bats in the director's day planner. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter author Seth Grahame-Smith is taking over scripting duties from long-time Burton collaborater John August, to adapt the spooky 1960's soap opera. Filming begins in February with Johnny Depp playing the vampire Barnabas Collins. We'll keep you updated on which goofy wig he'll end up in this time. (Deadline)

Tim Burton Fits Johnny Depp For Vampire Teeth
Thursday, July 15 by

Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.

Nick Kroll as Fabrice Fabrice Interviews Steve Carell
Thursday, July 15 by

Fabrice Fabrice Interviews Steve Carell from Steve CarellNick Kroll is one funny motherf*cker. You may best know him as Bobby Bottleservice from the Ed Hardy Boyz Funny or Die videos, or Ruxin on FX's "The League," but he's also an amazing stand-up comedian with several characters in his repertoire.Fabrice Fabrice is Nick's extremely flamboyant, homosexual alter ego who dabbles in craft services. Fabrice Fabrice caught up with Dinner for Schmucks star Steve Carell at one of his snack tables and asked him a few professional and rather personal questions. It results in rosy cheeks and the improper enjoyment of fresh fruit.

Full Cast Pic from AMC’s ‘The Walking Dead’
Thursday, July 15 by

We've got a lot of picture news for you this morning so you don't have to process words. Here's a group snapshot of the cast from AMC's The Walking Dead. If that isn't a ragtag crew of zombie ass-kickers, than I don't know what is. The little boy looks confused, but maybe some zombie taped a clever sign to Rick Grimes's back. They're natural pranksters.Here's an image from The Walking Dead graphic novel:Looks similar, right? Zombies and people. What more do you want?! The cast pic comes from the invite to the Comic-Con The Walking Dead party that I failed to receive. I'm sure it's in the mail though. You know how the mail is sometimes… **Wipes single tear from clown-make-uped cheek** (io9)

How to Write a Bromance
Thursday, July 15 by

You may cringe at the term ‘bromance’, but if someone asks if you like bromance movies, you will absolutely say yes. Quite unlike romantic comedies — which focus on the…

Magnolia Buys Joaquin Phoenix Rapumentary
Thursday, July 15 by

"You serious, bro?"A little backstory: Joaquin Phoenix went crazy, grew a beard, quit acting, started rapping, and Casey Affleck was there with a camera to capture it all. Online speculation has been that the entire breakdown is fake (and crazy). Now, we will have the opportunity to judge for ourselves this September.Deadline reports that Magnolia has bought the distribution rights to Casey Affleck's I'm Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix. Or, as it should be called I Get Pooped On: That Time Somebody Pooped On Joaquin Phoenix.  That's right. The film is said to include cocaine use, hookers, oral sex with a publicist, loads of full frontal male nudity, and somebody poops on Joaquin as he sleeps. We're not naming any names, but c'mon.

Brett Ratner May Ruin ‘Hercules’
Thursday, July 15 by

Riots flare in Greece as Ratner is considered for 'Hercules'.Director Brett Ratner is in talks to ruin the legend of Hercules, The LA Times is reporting. Millennium/Nu Image has been developing the project for three years, and apparently just decided to say "f*ck it, I don't care any more, it's gonna suck no matter what we do." Shortly thereafter, Ratner was brought in for negotiations. At any rate, I'm hopeful we'll get to hear the line "Don't ever touch a Greek man's radio" sometime soon. I know it's pretty lazy for a hack like me to make fun of Ratner, but in all fairness to Brett…actually, I don't really have anything more to add to that statement.

Elizabeth Banks to Star in ‘Tink’
Wednesday, July 14 by

She played a slut in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. She played an amateur pornstar in Zach and Miri. Now, actress Elizabeth Banks is taking the next logical step: a live-action version of Tinkerbell, the magical pixie from Walt Disney's Peter Pan.Banks is developing and will star in Tink, a film that “plays with the mischievous nature" of the famous character. Hopefully, "mischievous nature" is code for topless breast play. Besides, a little female nudity will help postpone the inevitable gay-porn parody, Twink. (/Film)

Happy Birthday from Roman Polanski
Wednesday, July 14 by

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Betty White Gives Back to the ‘Community’
Wednesday, July 14 by

"Community" is a hilarious show, and you should be watching more of it. Don't believe me? Then perhaps you'll listen to Mrs. Betty White. That's what NBC is hoping. White, a six-time Emmy winner and all around tough-as-nails bitch, will appear on the upcoming season premiere of the NBC comedy. She will play the character of June Bauer, described as "an esteemed, but slightly unhinged anthropology professor." The producers approached White because she is in the midst of a late-career renaissance fueled primarily by her popularity on the Internet. Other guest stars slated to appear include LOL Cats, Bacon, and Epic Beard Man. (HitFix)

Mark Ruffalo Might Possibly Be The Hulk in ‘The Avengers’ Maybe
Wednesday, July 14 by

Yeah YOU, dude.Mark Ruffalo is in late-stage talks to smash things as The Hulk in The Avengers. Marvel told Edward Norton to eff off and has been on a search to find his replacement. The name Joaquin Phoenix was even floating around in Stupid Rumor Land.Mark Ruffalo is one actor who never came to mind when I spent last night brainstorming possible Hulk replacements. I don't remember Bruce Banner laughing nervously and growing spotty facial hair in the comics. Perhaps casting agents should turn their attention to a certain phone call Mel Gibson made not too long ago. If that wasn't a expemplary audition and lesson in transformation from human to beast, then I'll eat my hat. My cake hat. (Deadline)

Will Tom Cruise Do ‘M:I-4′ or a Mechanical Bull Movie Next?
Wednesday, July 14 by

There is absolutely no question that Paramount wants Tom Cruise to return as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible 4. THR has proof:"We absolutely are excited about having Tom Cruise star in this movie," is how Paramount vice chairman Rob Moore put it Tuesday. But the studio also is monitoring the overseas performance of Cruise's latest film, Knight and Day to see whether the star retains his longtime hold over foreign audiences. If that film should gross less than $200 million overseas, some industry observers think Paramount will consider recasting the Ethan Hunt role.Wait, what? They want him unless they don't want him? Get your sh*t together, Paramount. Tom Cruise needs to eat, and if you aren't going to feed him that carrot you're dangling than cut the man loose. Which brings me to the mechanical bull movie:Cruise attended a table read this week at the Saddle Ranch eatery in West Hollywood for a Sony project to be produced by Will Smith's production company, Overbrook Entertainment. The film in question, "Paper Wings," is set in urban cowboy world, and Saddle Ranch had the right ambience for the read because it features a mechanical bull.Let's not forget about the kitschy longhorn skulls on the walls and the melty cookie pie dessert. It's just like you're wrangling steer in the Montana mountains! Basically, everything depends on if foreign people like Tom Cruise or not. Mission: Impossible is a brand, and a sequel will likely succeed with or without him. In fact, if foreigners hate Cruise, it might be worth injecting the project with some fresh blood. The actor could probably help Paramount out with that. He must have a locker of it next to the room he keeps Katie chained up in.  

New ‘Dinner For Schmucks’ Trailer Has Baggage
Wednesday, July 14 by

There's a new Dinner For Schmucks trailer that shows a few funny clips we haven't seen yet. Mostly it highlights Rudd and Carell's chemistry, but also introduces Lucy Punch, who plays Paul Rudd's spear-wielding stalker. The more I see of this movie, the more I like. Not only do they shine a light on beastiality and puppet sex, but now the filmmaker's have trained their sights on diluted, pyschotic women. Makes me want to find a dangerous stalker of my very own. If anyone's looking for me, I'll be at that abandoned semi-trailer they turned into a strip club.HAVE A LOOK AT RUDD'S STRANGE AFTER THE JUMP…

‘Star Wars’ on a Subway
Wednesday, July 14 by

Last time we saw Improv Everywhere, they were chasing down ghosts in the New York Public Library. Now the comedy troupe known for its wacky movie reenactments brings the Princess Leia/Darth Vader scene from Star Wars down into the dingy underground of Manhattan. I can't wait until the day the locals turn against these theater jokesters. Improv's going to be all over the sidewalk, brickwalls, and tip of a bum's chicken bone knife. EVERYWHERE. (Ed note: Please don't murder these guys. Okay, thanks.)
Check out the video below.

‘Modern Family’s’ Julie Bowen Joins Cast of ‘Horrible Bosses’
Wednesday, July 14 by

Outside of her role in the Adam Sandler comedy Happy Gilmore, Actress Julie Bowen has focused mainly on television projects. But the success of her current show, "Modern Family," is breathing new life into her film career.The Emmy nominated actress has signed on to play Kevin Spacey's wife in the upcoming comedy ensemble, Horrible Bosses. Bowen is also slated to appear in Jumping the Broom, where she will play a stressed out wedding planner.While she should be known as the "hot mom" on "Modern Family," Bowen's co-star, Sofía Vergara, has relegated her to "normal mom" status. Despite the success of the show, it's a good thing she's branching out. The cast recently did an episode that took place in Hawaii. If the "Brady Bunch" and "Full House" are any indication, "Modern Family" is looking for a shark to jump. (Variety)

Extended ‘Hawaii 5-0′ Trailer Looks Pretty Okay
Wednesday, July 14 by

CBS's high-octane rebirth of "Hawaii 5-0" is looking pretty okay. The action looks far superior to anything on "CSI," the humor doesn't seem nearly as forced (or delivered via a quirky goth) as on "NCIS," and the camera isn't sent on an unnecessary voyage through the bloodstream at all from what I can tell. I could do without Scott Caan's channeling of Michael Rapaport though, but beggars can't be choosers. Could this spell the end of the procedural? We won't know for sure until a year or two from now, when CBS decides whether they will greenlight "Hawaii 5-0: Arizona" or not. CHECK OUT THE EXTENDED TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. THERE ARE EXPLODING HELICOPTERS….

‘Tron: Legacy’ Director Joseph Kosinski Signs On for ‘Archangels’
Wednesday, July 14 by

Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!Joseph Kosinski, who is currently wrapping up Tron: Legacy, has signed on to direct Archangels, a film described as a cross between a "Bourne-style thriller" and a sci-fi alien adventure. The project is being produced by Scott Free, the production company owned by Ridley Scott and Tony Scott.The film will center around an "elite fighting force" that tracks down uninvited aliens who manage to sneak onto Earth. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Pat Buchanan had started writing sci-fi scripts. It's about time! (/Film)

Zach Galifianakis Dominates the ‘It’s Kind of a Funny Story’ Trailer
Tuesday, July 13 by

Focus Features has released the trailer for It's Kind of a Funny Story. In perfect casting, Zach Galifiankis plays a mental patient who helps a clinically depressed teenager (Keir Gilchrist) get a fresh start after checking into a psychiatric ward. Basically it's the self-committal version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Emma Roberts, Lauren Graham, and Viola Davis also star. The film is directed by Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden, the team behind the utterly depressing (in a powerful way) Half Nelson. It's nice to see they're taking on lighter material, like people with mental disorders instead of heroin addictions. Galifianakis could portray both afflications equally well. It's Kind of a Funny Story checks into theaters September 24, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump…

Lindsay Lohan Licks a Gun in ‘Machete’ Poster
Tuesday, July 13 by

Lindsay Lohan may be a cracked-out, bankrupt, crazy, ankle-bracelet-wearing criminal that I have absolutely no more interest in fantasizing about…but this Machete poster is still pretty hot. (BuzzFeed)Make amends with these links.Is Daniel Tosh The New Face Of Comedy Central? (TVSquad)Best Mel Gibson Rant Remixes And Parodies (Asylum)Total BS Profile Of Christina Milian (HolyTaco)Al Pacino Sells Out And Does His First Commerical (FilmDrunk)From Geek To Gangster (Maxim)KMarko Can Kick It With Me Anyday (BarStoolSports)10 Greatest Graphic Novels (Besides 'Watchmen') (EgoTV)Talking Book: Remembering Harvey Pekar (Pajiba)In A Bleak Summer Film Season, Predators Is Actually Worth It (Unreality)Sara Carbonero Is Spain's Hottest Sports Reporter (TotalProSports)20 Odd Jesus Sightings (Smosh)Making August Hotter With Pictures Of Francesca Frigo (BroBible)Roman Polanski To Direct 'Twilight' Prequel (CelebJihad)MMA's Weird-Stomach-Tattoo Hall Of Fame (CagePotato)What Lindsay Can Learn From Lil Wayne In Prison (PopEater)Barefoot Bandit Pleads Gulity In Bahamas (MadeMan)

Disney Calls In Pixar and Brad Bird To Beef Up ‘Tron Legacy’
Tuesday, July 13 by

"Ummm, Brad? You're in the shot."What do you do when your movie about guys sucked into a computer lacks character and believability? You throw it to the wizards at Pixar. If they can turn a trash compactor into one of the most endearing characters in modern film history, they're certainly up to the task of making Garrett Hedlund seem like more than an angular haircut. That was Disney's line of thinking when they invited a core group of Pixar's finest to polish up the script for Tron Legacy before it went into six days of reshoots.Brad Bird and Toy Story 3's Michael Arndt worked together with original scribes Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz to do what Pixar does best. No, not wear sneakers to work. They were brought in to beef up the character, emotion, and theme. Sounds awesome. Now send them over to Seltzer and Friedberg's offices. I want my Kardashian jokes to effect me on an emotional level, dammit. (EW)

Amanda Seyfried Joins Dumbly-Titled ‘I’m.mortal’
Tuesday, July 13 by

Closer. Closer. They're almost on the glass. Just a little further….Amanda Seyfried has been announced as the first hot, young thing to join the cast of Andrew Niccol's I'm.mortal. The dumbly-titled movie tells the tale of a future society where the aging gene is turned off at 25, thus allowing sexys only, no olds allowed. Hot, young things must then buy and bank units of time so that they may hang on to their looks, or else they die. Much like on "The Hills."Seyfried is slated to play a wealthy, hot, young thing who is taken hostage and must run around and get all sweaty while pursued by a corrupt police force known as  "time keepers." Promise me some slow-motion shots and I'll begin camping out in line for tickets today. That and because I got evicted from the overtipped canoe I've been living in. Stupid co-op board. (Variety)

Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale Phone Fight Mashup
Tuesday, July 13 by

Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale – Watch more Funny VideosThe audio mashup you've all been waiting for is finally here. The second we all heard Mel Gibson go apesh*t on his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Christian Bale popped up in the back of our minds ripping the DP on Terminator Salvation a new asshole. Neither you nor I wanted to put them together in one phone conversation because that involves time and effort, so we waited a few days until someone else did it. We should get these two actors in one sealed-off room and they can really battle it out. Place your bets on who's going to end up in a rose garden. Probably Oksana since both Bale and Gibson have no qualms with hitting women. (FilmDrunk)

Casting Round-Up: ‘Fast Five,’ ‘Moneyball,’ and Cox Will ‘Rise’
Tuesday, July 13 by

It's time once agin to gather round the computin' box and gather some freshly-branded casting news. YAWWWWW!!!!FAST FIVE – will be gaining one Ludacris and one The Rock according to Twitter all-star Tyrese Gibson. “Major shouts to Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, & Dewayne [sic] “Rock” Johnson!! “Fast & Furious Five” Let’s get em again!!” Yes. He misspelled The Rock's name but please keep in mind, he typed this with his ab muscles. Impressed, now? (Collider)RISE OF THE APES – has cast Brian Cox to play a villianous dean general Robert McKee owner of a primate research facility. When reached for comment, James Cromwell said, "Aw, dammit." (/Film)MONEYBALL – "Parks and Recreation" shoeshine man, Chris Pratt, will spend his hiatus from the show portraying a catcher whose hurty elbow leads him to become a batting phenom. Just like Rookie Of the Year (note: nothing like Rookie Of the Year.) (Collider)

Nicolas Cage Tripped On Shrooms with His Cat
Tuesday, July 13 by

Nicolas Cage was a guest on "Late Show with David Letterman" last night to promote The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and wouldn't you know it, he told a drug story. Back in the day, Cage kept psychedelic mushrooms in his fridge like we keep milk and deli meats. His cat loved the shrooms and would frequently indulge, so Cage often tripped the light fantastic with it. There's more to the story, but I don't want to harsh your mellow. Check the clip out yourself. (TVSquad)

10 Underrated Movie Dream Sequences
Tuesday, July 13 by

Christopher Nolan’s Inception is released this Friday, and despite the publicity, I could not tell you its plot to save my life. I hear it is about Cobb (Leo Di Caprio) who is able to invade people’s dreams. So, it sounds a lot like the Nightmare on Elm Street series, without the puns. Also, if I am to believe the trailers, most people in the future dream about cities folding up on themselves. If that’s the case, my dreams about becoming a half-cat/half-man driving an ice cream truck should protect me from psyche-criminals. Here are a few of my favorite dream sequences that are generally forgotten about (or undervalued).   

Fund His Next Documentary And Win David Lynch’s Self-Portrait
Tuesday, July 13 by

I can kind of see it around the eyes.You may listen to the Lost Highway soundtrack on repeat or enjoy Mulholland Drive for reasons beyond Naomi Watts's chest, but you're not a true fan of David Lynch until you have his face printed on your stylish tote bag. And Lynch is giving you the opportunity to do just that. Anyone who donates $50 to the production of his upcoming documentary Lynch Three, can win a limited-edition print of the director's self-portrait on a poster, tote bag, or T-shirt.Onto the self-portrait itself. I'm a little disappointed by it. I know that art is subjective and Lynch has proven himself time and time again in the creative world, but it looks like it belongs on Regretsy. Why isn't this sculpted out of steak, or printed on dead skin? At least tell me the pen he used to draw it was involved in a stabbing. Give me something here. (via Cinema Blend)

Comic-Con Organizers Think Boobs Are Gross, Drop ‘Piranha 3D’ From Lineup
Tuesday, July 13 by

Stop staring at my chest!Comic-Con attendees hoping to see a topless woman for the first time are in for a real let down. Event organizers have rejected footage from the film Piranha 3D because there were too many boob shots, according to Comic-Con's PR director, David Glanzer. "My understanding is that the footage wasn't all ages appropriate," Glanzer told HitFix. "We don't check ID to get into those meeting rooms, so we don't want something inappropriate." That's all fine and good, but answer me this: at what age is it "appropriate" to sit in on a panel discussion titled A Leap Of Faith, A "Quantum Leap" Retrospective, or Kiss Them or Kill Them? Conflict Management for the Creatures Among Us? Clearly, half the crap at Comic-Con is inappropriate for people of all ages. Why pick on Piranha 3D? (Dread Central)

Haley Joel Osment Wants to ‘Lay It Forward’ (a.k.a. ‘The Sex Sense’)
Tuesday, July 13 by

Mom, it happened again.Haley Joel Osment is back from his third tour in Afghanistan (I assume that's where he's been for the past three years), and he's just signed on to a project that doesn't sound too awful.In Sex Ed, Osment will play a recent college graduate hired to teach algebra. But through a series of wacky misadventures (crippling budget cuts), Osment's character ends up teaching a sex ed class. The only catch is that he's a virgin. Those who can't do, teach.The film was written by Billy Kennedy and will be directed by Isaac Feder. It will be viewed by me and maybe Haley Joel Osment's mom, if she's not out spending that Sixth Sense money. (Empire Online)

Robocop Joins the Cast of ‘Dexter’
Tuesday, July 13 by

Dexter Morgan is an unstoppable killing machine. And what better way to fight an unstoppable killing machine than with America's favorite insatiable law-and-order cyborg? No, not Vincent D'Onofrio.Peter Weller, the star of the classic 80's sci-fi film Robocop has joined the cast of "Dexter: Season 5." According to Dread Central, he will appear in eight episodes, and will play a "troubled" Miami Metro police officer, as if there's any other kind.While there's no mention of the character of Robocop, I'd be surprised if they didn't use him in some capacity. The show never came right out and said that John Lithgow was supposed to be the character of Dr. Dick Solomon from "3rd Rock from the Sun." But once he dropped the C-Bomb at Thanksgiving dinner, everyone knew it was him.