From Emmy Award winners John Wells, Ann Biderman and Chris Chulack comes a raw and authentic look at a police unit in Los Angeles. From the beaches of Malibu to the streets of East Los Angeles, "Southland" is a fast-moving drama that will take viewers inside the lives of cops, criminals, victims and their families.Airs: Thursdays 10/9cNetwork: NBC

In 1984, a seminal film in my life (and many others of my generation) was released. It was a little flick about an underdog wiener kid from New Jersey with a major chip on his shoulder who wanted to prove the the world that he could kick his own height. So with help from Arnold from Happy Days, the wiener kid finds his way to Karate glory – which means he got some plastic trophy from the local Prize Emporium Dealership. But, for us kids, Karate Kid wasn't about the karate, per se. We didn't all want to grow up and be ninjas (although that would explain the brief success of Michael Dudikoff), we just wanted to be able to kick a douchebag in the face. That and we figured if Ralph Macchio could score Elisabeth Shue, heck, surely we could.

 South Park skewered Kanye West this week by portraying him as an arrogant, angry, slow on the uptake, spoiled beeyach. Kanye has since responded on his official blog by saying, "SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. NOT AS FUNNY AS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I HAD WROTE IT THOUGH. AND THE ANIMATION WASN'T AS DOPE AS I WOULD DO IT. I WEAR WOOL SCARVES IN THE SUMMER AND UNCOMFORTABLE SHOES. I EXUDE GREATNESS. I INVENTED THE SNUGGIE."  The episode marks the first time since Mr. Hankey that the show has animated a singing piece of sh*t. (KANYE WEST BLOG) Observe and Report or Paul Blart: Date Rapist? (Cinematical)Has FOX foreclosed on Dollhouse? (io9)   VENOM MOVIE FTW!!! (I was being sarcastic.) (Latino Review)  Spongebob Square Pants shakes ass, ruffles feathers. (CCFC)   The Simpsons immortalized on junk mail. (TV Squad)

IGN posted the new trailer for Moon, starring the kickass Sam Rockwell and directed by Duncan Jones, the son of David Bowie, who knows a thing or two about space travel, and has apparently bestowed his passion upon Ziggy Stardust Jr. The trailer explains all you need to know, but this looks like it has some definite ties to 2001 and especially the iconic HAL.  Only this time, HAL is sort of a talking emoticon.  Check out the trailer after the jump, as well as another clip courtesy of io9.  Just don't jump too hard because of the whole gravity thing.  Somewhere… in space… a physics teacher is laughing… right… now.

The show opens with our star Amy Poehler awkwardly interviewing a young girl about the exact level of fun she is experiencing at the moment in a public park (“would you say you’re having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself?”), at which point she is interrupted to roust a homeless from the slide by forcing him out with a broom. And thusly we are introduced to the relentlessly enthusiastic Leslie Knope, a woman who’s clueless-ness is rivaled only by her indefatigable love for her job.She has a definite Michael Scott-esque quality to her, but dialed back about 15% on the stupidity, incompetence, awkwardness, basically everything that makes him such an insufferable doofus. Instead, she comes off as a more relatable, if still pitiable, character. Someone we come to love to cringe at. And cringe we do, as she makes an ass of herself for 22 extremely pleasant minutes, setting up what will hopefully be a good series, judging from the first installment.

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So, Warner Bros. and Paramount simultaneously released mini-sites for their May 2009 flicks, and they're kinda fun if you have time to fart around on a movie site during the day.  Trekyourself.com lets you create photos of yourself as a Star Trek character, like a Romulan, Vulcan or Red Shirt (try the latter at your own risk. Eh hum.  Eh heh hum).  On TerminateYourself.com, you can add battle damage to any of your photos, revealing your inner T-800 endoskeleton.  I originally wanted to title this post something like, "You Betta Trek Yo' Self," but I realize that I don't have enough street cred to do so.  Nor is this 1994.  Oh and while we're combining movies in single posts, check out a huge spoiler from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen after the jump! 

Three new TV spots for X-Men Origins: Wolverine have SNIKT'D their way online today.  Each one has something we haven't seen before, including glimpses of Blob in action, and Ryan Reynolds showing off more of what his maskless Deadpool can do.  Here's one spot:X-Men Origins: Wolverine TV Spot #10 – Watch more Funny VideosYou'll find the other two hiding after the jump. 

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes will play warring gods in Warner Bros. and Legendary's Clash of the Titans, the Greek-god epic directed by Louis Leterrier.  "Neeson is playing Zeus, the wise yet sometimes ill-tempered king of the gods and father of Perseus (Sam Worthington). Fiennes will play Hades, ruler of the underworld who aims to overtake Zeus and rule over all. Fiennes' deal is in still in negotiations." And high school classical civilization teachers all breathe a collective sigh of relief, as their students will finally have another filmic representation of Zeus aside from this one:

The trailer for Mike Judge's new film, Extract, has started springing up all over the 'nets today.  I enjoyed his last effort, Idiocracy, but it was an acquired taste.  My take was that a visual FX-heavy movie can sometimes take away from the funny, no matter how much funny is there.  In any case, it looks like Judge is back to his more pedestrian, Office Space stomping grounds with this new movie, which stars Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, a shaggy Ben Affleck, and a slow-mo close-up of Kristen Wiig's sweatpants.  Check it out after the jump, and then give your verdict on Judge in the comments section.

Corey Haim apparently has a role in Crank: High Voltage. In the flick Haim sports a long, blonde mullet and tribal tattoos. He essentially looks like a sketchier Dog the Bounty Hunter. In other words, considering this is Corey Haim we're talking about here, he looks good. It is reported that Haim (who once tried to sell his teeth on eBay) was disappointed to learn he would not be paid in actual crank. (Cinema Blend)   In other mullet news, Eastbound and Down will return for a second season. (TV Week) How's Your News? will not sadly. (HYN Facebook) Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes cast in Clash of the Titans; not the same guy after all. (/film) Saddam Hussein forced to view South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut while imprisoned. No word on whether he was shown Hot Shots! or not. (Telegraph UK) John Favreau spells like a jurk. (NY Mag) Premiere has a list of 77 DVDs worth rebuying on Blu-Ray; Shark Attack 3: Megalodon snubbed again.  (Premiere)  

Sacred Heart’s couples are finding it difficult to reach common ground.  Meanwhile, J.D. receives an unexpected invitation to an unexpected wedding. Kiss AnniversaryScrubs jumps on the anti-ginger kid bandwagon when this episode opens with Elliot hating on red heads, claiming that they are “God’s mistake.”  J.D. realizes that it is the seventh year anniversary of his first kiss with Elliot, and he hasn’t gotten her a gift.  He gives her the task of singing “Old MacDonald to Samuel, knowing that should give him exactly 45 seconds to correct his error.  While she struggles to maintain the correct pitch, J.D. books it to the gift shop, grabs the first thing he can set his hands on, and outruns Leonard- the one handed security dude with the claw- who immediately gives chase.  J.D. returns as Elliot finishes the song and hands her his present… an electric toothbrush.  Elliot assures J.D. that he doesn’t need to make a big deal out of an anniversary for a kiss. Love Is In the Air

South Park gives us another episode of mixed quality that’s strengthened by strong character moments and some hilarious, if not spot-on, celebrity parody.  Jimmy and Cartman have come up with the perfect joke, and it sweeps the country in a frenzy of media exposure. Before the boys knoew it  Carlos Mencia is taking credit for their joke and Kanye West is getting pissed off that everyone's calling him a gay fish. Confused? So is Kanye, and find out exactly why after the jump…

According to Ben, it's time for him to be judged by the smoke monster, so Locke takes him along to do just that, encountering Sun and Fred along the way. We get more backstory and a few flashbacks summarizing Ben's experience growing up on the island and his many dealings with Widmore. This week's Lost finally starts to delve into the mysteries of the island with more depth, and it offers up some pretty superb moments, right after the jump.

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More Terminator goodies today to top off the news the Ahnuld will be back for Terminator Salvation.  Now the kind robots over at io9 posted this cool concept art image of the Harvester from Terminator Salvation, courtesy of Industrial Light & Magic's artistes.  According to the Terminator Wikia, "Harvesters are non-humanoid hunter/killer units produced by Skynet sometime before 2018. They were large tank like structures that would capture humans in conjunction with Moto-terminators. They took the humans to lab testing for their stem cells. This research on humans led to the creation of the Series-800.  If someone would escape, they would be blasted to smithereens by the robots shoulder mounted canon from a great distance." Check out some more atwork of the harvesters doing their dirty deeds after the jump.

Paper Heart, starring Michael Cera and his comedienne girlfriend, Charlyne Yi, opens August 7th, and Overture Films sent has released some new images.  The film played Sundance this year and won the Waldo Salt Award for Best Screenplay.  Previous winners included The Squid & The Whale, Memento, and The Station Agent.  Apparently the film was improv'd mostly, so I'm sure there are a handful of seething indie filmmakers still listening to Iron & Wine albums in an attempt to "process" the travesty.  Read the synopsis of the film and see some more pics after the jawmp!

According to Variety, Larry Charles, director of Borat, Bruno, Religulous and several episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, is taking on old people sex as his next project.  Winter's Discontent "centers on a sexually frustrated widower who moves into a retirement community with his best buddy — looking to get laid."There's definitely an opportunity for a bingo party gone horribly, horribly, distastefully wrong in this concept, and it's certainly been Charles' M.O. to push the envelope. 

According to MTV, actor Terry Crews has spilled the beans that Arnold Schwarzenegger will in fact be making a brief appearance (also known as a "cameo") in Terminator Salvation.  Terry, you son of a bitch! But wait!  Crews also confirms that he'll be teaming up with Arnold in yet another action flick… Find out which after the jump.

Citing the turbulent economy, The Huffington Post reports that Nicolas Cage has been forced to sell one of his two castles.Hold the phone… Crazy-ass Nicolas Cage owns castles? Man, that's like super-LARPing! In my mind's eye he runs around the halls of that place pretending to be Count Chocula. And there's no force on Earth that can convince me otherwise. Hey look, more morning news!Captain Kirk is horny. (MTV)Eminem is Spock. (io9)Optimal Prime is an asshole. (Holy Taco)The Two Garys join Iron Man 2. (/film) Michael Myers is letting his pores breathe. (Dread Central) Tracy Morgan is profiting off psychosis. (TV Squad)Gore Verbinski is over pirates. (Latino Review) Kal Penn is boring. (Reuters) 

Over the years, The Land of the Rising Sun has turned to Nic Cage to help promote Pachinko machines, and the result could not be more disturbing. He plays piano, seriously freaks out upon seeing blonde triplets, and even head butts an alien robot thing. The only thing he doesn't do is don a bear mascot suit and punch a woman in the face. I suppose we’re all pretty used to Nic Cage screaming nonsense by now, but it’s comforting to know he’ll always try to surprise us. You may say he does these things for the money. I say he does them because he’s already won his Oscar, and he can. Check out the clips after the jump.

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The abstract antics of an Indiana town's public officials as they pursue random projects to make their city a better place.Network: NBCAirs: Thursday at 8:30/7:30c

On April 30th, Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience becomes available On Demand, and then in limited theatrical release on May 22nd.  WATCH THE TRAILER HERE.  The film stars adult film actress Sasha Grey, and is her first experience working in the mainstream.  We at Screen Junkies thought to ourselves that if Sasha can act in a mainstream feature film, then there are some other porn starlets out there who'd have a place in the broader market as well.  Without further ado, here they are. 

This Friday, Jody Hill's Observe & Report opens.  It's the second mall cop movie of the year, but is to Paul Blart what Taxi Driver is to DC Cab.  Co-starring in OaR with the hairy Seth Rogen is the very clean shaven Anna Faris (above). Where You've Seen Her: Anna is a comedienne who's career took off with the Scary Movie franchise.  She's done all four of the films, as well as Waiting, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, "Entourage," and played Shelley in The House Bunny.  Listen for her voice in the upcoming Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.     Pointless Quote: "I never imagined being able to make money from acting – and now I can."

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Sylvester Stallone at sixty-effing-two-years-old.  The new photos from the Rio de Janeiro set of Stallone's Expendables have gone live, and we have a few more after the jump, including ones of one ripped senior citizen jumping off the end of a pier.  If this isn't a lesson in the benefits of fiber and horse steroids, I don't know what is.

Comic actors wearing makeup that takes half a day to apply has become a Hollywood tradition.  Hiding behind those layers of latex can sometimes be a more liberating experience, releasing the actor’s inhibitions and bringing out his inner funny.   It might mean dressing as a woman.  It might mean dressing as an obese person, or the double whammy: an obese woman.  Yes, more often than not, being funny while concealing yourself under pounds of makeup go hand-in-hand.  Rumor has it that Artie Lange might actually be a 120 lb. African-American woman from Denver. 

While we wait for any ounce of newsworthy nectar to drop from the gilded chalices of the superhero moviemaking gods regarding a live action Green Lantern flick, we have some morsels to perhaps hold us over.  A new trailer and release date for the animated Green Lantern: First Flight has hit.The straight to DVD feature, rated PG-13, will hit stores July 21st of this year, and features the voices of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” actor Christopher Meloni as Hal Jordan, “Battlestar Galactica” actor Tricia Helfer as Boodikka, “Reservoir Dogs” actor Michael Madsen as Kilowog and “Milk” actor Victor Garber as Sinestro.Watch the trailer after the jump.

Hiro and Ando continue their quest to unite the two Parkmans, while adult Parkman is on a quest against Danko to get revenge for what he did to Daphne. Sylar, meanwhile, is having a lot of fun with his new shape-shifting ability, using it to make Noah question himself and those he loves. Mohinder's finds some old boxes with information from his father, and as he's rifling through them it becomes more and more clear that all roads to lead to Coyote Sands….after the jump, that is.

A site called spoilertv.com has photos up from the first day of Iron Man 2's shoot.  Here's one.  You can see a few more after the jump, including Don Cheadle as Rhodes, posing with a cell phone like he's the new spokesmodel for Verizon.