Captain Kirk is Climbing That Mountain
Tuesday, January 5 by

William Shatner offers an evocative and erotic description as to why Captain James T. Kirk wants to climb a mountain, all backed by a catchy beat. As an actor, Shatner delves into the psyche of his character, and apparently he has discovered that Kirk likes to f*ck gigantic rock formations. It's probably all a metaphor or something. Check out Shatner's process below.

Pierre Morel to Direct ‘Dune’
Tuesday, January 5 by

Taken's Pierre Morel has been hired by Paramount to direct the upcoming adaptation of Dune. Morel, who also directed the upcoming John Travolta as Mr. Clean biopic From Paris, With Love, is looking to stay faithful to Frank Herbert's 1965 book and is in search for a writer that can help bring that to pass. This will be the third adaptation of Dune brought to the screen. And probably the first to involve parkour.Peter Berg was originally attached but left in order to adapt Milton Bradley's Battleship into a feature film about sailors fighting aliens. Uh-huh. Right. I guess Stephen Sommers was indisposed. (EW)

Jerk Off This Device to Increase Your Breast Size
Monday, January 4 by

Easy Curves Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosIt's really that simple. Or even simpler, convince the girl in question you have a device of your own she can borrow. (via TVSquad) Click on these links to increase your size instantly! Gallery of Alabama Girls Vs. Texas Girls (HolyTaco) Fans Fall Head First in to Concrete (TotalProSports) Sexy Mail Order Brides in Costumes (TheChive) The Warren Beatty Sex Chart (Maxim) Kevin Smith Vs. NPH: Fight! Fight! Fight! (FilmDrunk) 20 Funniest Google Street View Photos (SuperTremendous) The Worst Movies of 2009 (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Gets Her Face and Crotch Creamed (CelebJihad) Time to Psychoanalyze the LOST Supper (Unreality) Historic U.K. Stature Turned into Homer Simpson (Asylum) 5 Types of People You'll Meet at Ikea (RegretfulMorning) How to Dress with Vampire Style (MadeMan) Nice Cortney Sauter Pics (AllLeftTurns) Cowboy Gets His Ass Stomped to a Soundtrack (NothingToxic) The Ultimate Fish Punching Reality Show (Atom)

10 Vampire Movie Fails
Monday, January 4 by

Don't call me out on the grammar, Twihards. I didn't make the pic.

Homemade War Machine Costume Must Drive the Ladies Wild
Monday, January 4 by

An overzealous neeerrrddddd!!!! fan spent significant hours to create a costume replica of Iron Man 2's War Machine (compare to trailer here). Anthony Le has hand-crafted a costume so impressive that even director Jon Favreau has given him props. Accolades, not actual movie props. He'll have to build replicas of those himself if he wants them.Much like the fan-made transforming Bumblebee costume, this is pretty cool and must have taken a lot to put together. So nobody mention to this guy that he could have just painted an Iron Man costume silver. Much like Tony Stark, I don't think his heart could take the strain. (Cinematical)

‘Avatar’ Earns Over $1 Billion Dollars Worldwide
Monday, January 4 by

"I duddits!!"We warned you that it would take over the world but you but you didn't listen. Had you shuttered up your windows, none of us would be in this mess. James Cameron's Avatar dominated the box office for a third weekend in a row, easily outpacing every other release and all of Tiger Woods' mistresses combined. And on a global level, the film has passed the $1 billion mark. Think of how many of these hats that kind of money can buy.There are only four other films in the billion dollar club. They are Cameron's own  Titanic ($1.843 billion), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ($1.119 billion), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ($1.066 billion), and The Dark Knight ($1.001 billion). With a $1.022 billion take after only 21 days, expect Avatar to give Titanic a run for its money.With this surge of wealth, you can also expect James Cameron to spend the next ten years developing a new technology in order to make it rain more realistically on them hoes. (THR)

‘Jersey Shore’ to Be Given Porn Treatment
Monday, January 4 by

Like Dexter and Paranormal Activity before it, Jersey Shore will be given the porn treatment. To clarify, Jersey Shore the program is being given the porn treatment, not the cast. The Jersey Shore castmembers are not in any pornos (yet). Zero Tolerance Entertainment has announced via the NSFW Popporn that they plan to artistically birth a porn parody of the MTV reality hit. Jersey Whores will be written and directed by Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs with Mike Quasar pointing a camera (and his penis) at it.I'm confused. Up until ten minutes ago I assumed Jersey Shore WAS a porno. Just one with an irritatingly slow build. Guess I'll pull my pants back on now. (via Warming Glow) 

’24′ Season 8 Trailer and Featurette
Monday, January 4 by

Jack Bauer and the case of Now Where Did I Park My Car… In spite of rumors that Jack Bauer would be playing peek-a-boo with his grandchild for 24 episodes of this season of 24, it appears the writers came up with something a tad more action-y. Who knew that Jack wouldn't be content settling down and enjoying the simpler things in life? I knew, because men who gauge out eyes with Bic pens don't just trade that in for fishie faces and ants on a log. Below is a trailer and a featurette for the brand spankin' new 8th season of 24. Yes, Jack has had seven miserable, exhausting, terrorist-filled days and it looks like he's in store for another one. Maybe this season ends with him battling the lack of oxygen getting to his brain. In other words, a stroke, like most normal people would have faced by now. The official synopsis goes as such:

‘The Thing’ Prequel to Begin Filming Unnecessarily in March
Monday, January 4 by

Production Weekly is reporting that the long-gestating prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing will begin filming in two months. Commercial director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. (thanks for the easy to spell name, Dad) will helm the alien vs human thriller, which is shooting in Toronto from March to June. The script, written by Ronald D. Moore (Battlestar Galactica) and Eric Heissere (A Nightmare On Elm Street), tells the story of the doomed Norwegian camp that is found tattered and decimated in the original. There's no word yet on casting or more importantly on who will be handling the special effects. Here's hoping that the producers are respectful to the original and don't go with someone like Channing Tatum. Dude's acting is whatever and his visual effects portfolio is WEAK. (Production Weekly)

‘Independence Day’ Live on Stage!
Sunday, January 3 by

If you hate special effects and love on-stage, low-budget renditions of blockbuster action movies than the Old Murder House Mystery Theater could be right up your alley. The troupe, an off-shoot of the War Room Collective, a group of filmmakers from the Savannah College of Art and Design, has performed stage productions of Jurassic Park and The Lion King/Predator, and now they've brought Roland Emmerich's "masterpiece" Independence Day to Off-Broadway. Check out the stripped-down, raw action and effects after the jump. Welcome to earth.

Happy 2010! Here’s a Monkey Being Chased by Bulldogs
Friday, January 1 by

I'm sure you all remember this monkey going apesh*t over magic tricks. Well now here he is purchasing baked goods and being chased by bulldogs. Things are slightly askew in Japan… (via WarmingGlow)

Watch Denzel Kick Some Ass in ‘Book of Eli’ Fight Training Video
Thursday, December 31 by

To make the hardcore fight sequences in The Book of Eli look as realistic and kick-ass as possible, Denzel Washington worked with famed fight choreographer Jeff Imada. Jeff also worked on a little fighting movie called Fight Club. He did Fight Club, people. The movie about fighting! Suffice it to say The Book of Eli will garner some amazing fight sequences, and Denzel takes them on all by himself. When you absolutely positively have to kill every motherf*cker in the room, accept no substitutions.  Check out the fight training video after the jump. The Book of Eli resurrects itself in theaters January 15th, 2010. 

Patrick Stewart and Peter Jackson Have Been Knighted
Thursday, December 31 by

"Thank you for this grand honour."Patrick Stewart no longer has to pretend to be a knight to pick up chicks. Queen Elizabeth II has bestowed knighthood upon the Star Trek / X-Men actor for his Excellence in Being British (or something like that) on her New Year honors list. Also knighted, but on a seperate New Zealand list, was LOTR and King Kong director Peter Jackson.I sincerely hope that Stewart and Jackson do not take this honor lightly. You never know when the Queen may call you to fight. If you had paid attention during Reign of Fire, you'd know that dragon attacks can happen at any time. (NBC)

Darth Vader Checks Leia for Cavities
Wednesday, December 30 by

You'd think a princess would know when she's being played.Open wide for today's links.25 Best Memes of 2009 (HolyTaco)Woman's Basketball Team Poses for Sexy Calendar (TotalProSports)Holy Sh*t Bar Refaeli is Hot (TheChive)The Hottest Girls of the SEC (Maxim)Worst Trailers of the Year (FilmDrunk)Best Viral Videos of the Decade (Manofest)Biggest Box Office Flops of 2010 (Pajiba)Selena Gomez Forgets to Wear Pants (CelebJihad)Writing Utensils Make Good Weapons (Unreality)Best of the 2010 Bikini Calendars (Asylum)Here Are Some Nice Tramps (RegretfulMorning)How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions (MadeMan)2010 NASCAR Sprint Cup Predictions (AllLeftTurns)

Be the FIRST! to See ‘LOST’ Season Six Premiere
Wednesday, December 30 by

Did ya hear the news?!! You can be the envy of all your friends until 9:07pm February 2nd, 2010. That's right! 815 lucky viewers have the opportunity to view an exclusive sneak peek of the first six minutes of LOST season six.In order to do so, visit the sweepstakes site and answer six questions about the show. Winners will receive a digital "message in a bottle" that contains the opening minutes of the premiere four full days before it is scheduled to air. That gives you 96 hours and 6 minutes to feel self-important. After that, you're a schmuck like the rest of us.Am I going to enter? F*ck yeah. This is an out-of-context six minutes of LOST we're talking about here. (ABC)

‘Always Sunny’ Bar Breaks the Fourth Wall
Wednesday, December 30 by

Rob McElhenney, the creator and star of the FX comedy It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, looks like a man with a child actor's head. But that's not the story here.It's being reported that McElhenney has purchased a bar in Philadelphia along with his co-star/wife Kaitlin Olson. The plan is to name the grog house after Mac's Old Towne Tavern, the bar featured in the show. This guy is a genius. Not only does he come out of nowhere to co-create one of the best comedies on television, use that show to get a hot wife, but now he can also pay Danny Devito in beer with low overhead. Genius. (via Eater via Warming Glow) 

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Wednesday, December 30 by

CAST: Rob McElhenney; Charlie Day; Kaitlin Olson; Glenn Howerton; and Danny DevitoSYNOPSIS: Four young friends with big egos and slightly arrogant attitudes are the proprietors of an Irish bar in Philadelphia.

‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ Star Kourtney Kardashian
Wednesday, December 30 by

Kourtney Kardashian is known for being the older, less attractive sister of Kim Kardashian. Also, she just had a baby. Gross. A word from Kourtney: "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill and I don't think it's that big of a deal."Yeah, no big deal. The only downside is you get BABIES!!!Practice safe sex by checking out the pics after the jump.

SJ’s Best Movies of the Aughts
Wednesday, December 30 by

Unlike our stance on orgasming, we waited until the last possible minute to do this list. You’ll probably angrily chant "Rabble, rabble, rabble!" in disagreement, but that’s what makes these…

Mila Kunis Burns Her Itchy, No Good ‘Book Of Eli’ Clothes
Wednesday, December 30 by

In an apparent "F YOU" to Planet Hollywood, Mila Kunis decided to burn her The Book Of Eli wardrobe once production had wrapped. From Kunis: "I kept none of my ensemble from the film. It was so dirty and filthy. In fact I burned it in effigy when we wrapped production." C'mon Mila. It couldn't have been that bad. As we can see from this trailer for the Denzel as Mad Max post apocalyptic thriller, the outfit doesn't seem that bad. It's a flannel, wool vest, and combat boots. A.) You're from the Ukraine, you should be used to that look, and B.) Rosie O'Donnell would pay good money for threads like that. (WENN)

Eva Longoria & Tony Parker Get Greased Up
Tuesday, December 29 by

Husband and wife team Eva Longoria & Toni Parker recreated the "Summer Nights" musical number from Grease, someone filmed it, and now it will live on forever. Instead of a sex tape we get this eye raping. Thanks, universe. Calm your nerves with these links.Who Will Die in 2010? (HolyTaco) Hockey Hit Leaves Blood on the Ice (TotalProSports) The Sol Beer Girls are Hot (TheChive) A Funny Montage of Movie Laughs (Maxim) The Bear Jew Made Nazi Propaganda (FilmDrunk) Don't Mess with Exorcist Cat (SuperTremendous) Pajiba's Person of the Decade (Pajiba) Kourtney Kardashian's Bastard Baby Photos (CelebJihad) Minimalist TV Show Designs are Artsy, Awesome (Unreality) Scripts for Your Casual Sexual Role-Playing (Asylum) 8 Memorable Movie Explosions (RegretfulMorning) Brush Up on Your Speed Dating Skills (MadeMan) 25 Greatest MMA Knockouts of 2009 (CagePotato) What is the Watermill Score? (AllLeftTurns)

What’s On TV Tonight: Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Tuesday, December 29 by

Tonight on TV, maple syrup, zombies, and fat people. Fans of IHOP will feel right at home.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ Star Kim Kardashian
Tuesday, December 29 by

We all know Kim Kardashian, I just haven't done a post of her yet so I thought I'd go ahead and do that. She's famous for being famous, and having sex with a rapper.A word from Kim: "I have a sex tape with a Black guy! That's why I'm famous!"See? Even SHE admits it. But damn if she can't wear a shirt. Or not wear one. Check out more pics of Kim and her assets after the jump.

Own the ‘Back to the Future’ DeLorean and Be Awesome
Tuesday, December 29 by

Someone spent a loooooooot of time building a near exact replica of the DeLorean from Back to the Future and now they're hawking it on eBay for you, or someone with more money than you, to purchase. I actually saw this very DeLorean at a car show in Culver City, CA this past Summer, and I have to say it's a pretty amazing contraption. The only downside is it doesn't come equipped with a flux capacitor, arguably the coolest part of the DeLorean in the film, and the interior smells like the remains of Christopher Lloyd's career. That stuff's like cigarette smoke, it just doesn't come out.So far there's been one bid on Doc's DeLorean and it's currently at $59,000.00 with the reserve price unmet. If you choose, you can also purchase the car at the current "Buy It Now" price of $89,000.00.Check out all the stats at the eBay page and see a few more pics of the souped-up DeLorean after the jump.

Jude Law Wants Your Organ in Red Band ‘Repo Men’ Trailer
Tuesday, December 29 by

I've heard of a circumcision, but this is ridiculous! Universal decided to take Repo Men from its shelf of Movies We Don't Want To Release, dust it off, and release it. It tells of a near future when human life spans have been greatly extended by expensive artificial organs created by a company called The Union. When people fail to make their payments for a fancy new liver or other piece of their gut, a team of surgical operatives are sent out to reclaim The Union’s property. The film follows two of these guys, played by Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. (via /Film)  I have trouble suspending my disbelief in regards to Jude Law as an action star and anyone giving Forest Whitaker a license to cut people open when they have no way of knowing what he sees through that one weird eye. Maybe it zooms in on stuff.  Check out the Red Band Repo Men trailer after the jump. Beware, it's not safe for work due to all the blood and Liev Schreiber-ness.

‘Star Trek’ Sequel Officially Starts Getting Started Next Year
Tuesday, December 29 by

Whether Mr. J.J. Abrams likes it or not, Zoe Saldana refuses to keep her pretty little mouth shut about the Star Trek sequel, unofficially titled Star Trek: Uhura's Quest for Spock's Nuts. Yay for all of us! She said Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci are all still working on the script, and that they'll probably be going into pre-production around this time next year.It's just pre-production, people. That means they'll start making drawings of how they want the shiny sets and costumes to look. Then once they decide how many whatevers should hang from the whatever, they have to make those whatevers a reality. Someone will probably get injured during construction, which will cause a delay, and during that time J.J. will realize there's a huge plot hole in the script. I expect to see the Star Trek sequel in 2015. (MTV)

These People Died in 2009
Tuesday, December 29 by

People die, and it's very sad, but when you're famous, or even "famous," television networks and award ceremonies put together an in memorium video that reminds everyone that you died, how attractive you were when you were younger, and how you used to work on projects that weren't complete sh*t. Below is a remembrance video that Turner Classic Movies put together that does all those things, and also displays some fantastic Autumn foliage. Are the dead people supposed to be the wind or the leaves? My guess is there's a little bit of them in every one of us. It's comforting to know that Michael Jackson is inside me right now.

Avatar: The Making of the Bootleg
Monday, December 28 by

It's one thing to work years creating a breakthrough technology that will revolutionize cinema as we know it, and it's another thing to work years figuring out how to ilegally record the aforementioned breakthrough. Bootlegging is an art, and bootlegging Avatar is a bootlegging artist's Mona Lisa. (via IWatchStuff)We give credit where credit is due with these links.25 Hottest Women of 2009 (HolyTaco) Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Moments of 2009 (TotalProSports) Millenium Falcon Bed Guarantees Zero Sex (TheChive) 100 Twitter Accounts for Guys (Maxim) James Cameron Tells Fan to F**k Off (FilmDrunk) 20 Amazing Cheese Sculptures (SuperTremendous) Most Painful Movie-Going Experiences of the Aughts (Pajiba) Pics of Olivia Wilde's Booty (CelebJihad) Really Creepy Real Children's Books (Unreality) Sexiest Magazine Covers of 2009 (Asylum) 35 Hot Girls Wearing Santa Hats (RegretfulMorning) 2009 Chickipedia Hot 100 (MadeMan) Top 10 NASCAR Women of 2009 (AllLeftTurns) Massive Soccer Hooligan Brawl (NothingToxic) Atom's Best of 2009 (Atom)

What’s On TV Tonight: Monday, December 28th, 2009
Monday, December 28 by

Tonight on TV, David Caruso takes off his sunglasses, then puts them back on again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE BREAKNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

Harold Ramis Plans to Start Shooting ‘Ghostbusters 3′ Next Summer
Monday, December 28 by

Our friends over at Heeb Magazine snagged a nice little interview with director Harold Ramis, and they got some info out of him regarding the progress of Ghostbusters 3:We’ll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future … GB3 is progressing with plans to shoot next summer and release in 2011 … Oh, and I have two one-of-a-kind Ghostbuster yarmulkes sent by fans. Screw the news about the movie, Ramis has Ghostbuster yarmulkes! I'll be the envy of all my temple.. There have been a lot of rumors lately regarding the development of the latest Ghostbusters film, so let's just hope Ramis isn't talking a big game. I want to see all the people in the top picture do the same dance, but each carrying at least 50 more pounds now.Check out the rest of the interview with Harold Ramis here.