Not to be confused with the crappy Halloween sequel of the same name, Season Of The Witch is a new gothic, thriller starring Sir Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman. The large-headed duo portray knights on a mission to bring a violent witch to an abbey for dewitchification and the witch is all like, "No. No. No." It's the Middle Ages equivalent of bringing Amy Winehouse to rehab.Check out the trailer after the jump.
This weekend, the Seinfelds reunite!!!CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are teaming up to create a limited series based on King's recently released supernatural-thriller 'Under The Dome.' Dreamworks TV has optioned the book and is looking to set it up as an event series, likely for cable. The book revolves around the drama that unfolds after an invisible force field suddenly descends on a small vacation town in Maine. As the locals fight for their survival, the town descends into warring factions led by enigmatic characters.Dreamworks is starting to meet with writers, but I don't imagine Matt Groening and James L. Brooks will be considered. They've already done a similar project, and it would be silly to rework the material.(via Variety)
Jason Segel wants college girls interested in having sex with him to call him at 315-329-6673. He even wrote a little ditty about it and performed it with The Swell Season (Once actors Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova) at The Wiltern in Los Angeles last Wednesday. When you call the number you are given an email address to contact Segel (email@example.com). No word yet if he responds, but if he screws even half the girls that write to him we're not going to be seeing him on a movie screen anytime soon. (/Film)
The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 have finally landed… on a date for the premiere of their sixth season. Exec producer Carlton Cuse announced via the tweets that the show will return to f*cking our minds on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 9PM. No word yet on whether the plot-line will pick up where we last left off or if we'll see a new, alternate time-line in the final season. Regardless of what goes down, I'm sure it will get all mucked up by Sayid when gets tricked or caught in some kind of rope trap. He consistently screws everything up but remains a fan favorite. HOW?! I hate that tanktop-loving dope. (TV Overmind)
Red Cliff "Get Out of Here" Clip – Watch more Movie Trailers In Ancient China, they played Capture The Flag for keeps. Check out more Asian ballet fighting in this clip from John Woo's film. Capture these links… Flowchart to Determine What Your Nickname Should Be (HolyTaco) Reeboks New Commercials are Dirty (TotalProSports) Girls Doing the Splits (TheChive) Eddie Murphy Gettin' R-Rated (FilmDrunk) 20 Funniest Photoshopped Obama Photos (SuperTremendous) 5 Noninspirational Inspirational Football Films (Pajiba) Megan Fox Posing in Panties for The NY Times (CelebJihad) 10 Great Celebrity Audition Tapes (Unreality) 5 Most Irritating Kinds of Ads (Asylum) Drunk Cincinnati Cyclones Fan Likes Jumping (BustedCoverage) My Girlfriend's Vagina is Loose, What Now? (RegretfulMorning) 22 Cufflinks for Techies (MadeMan) Jimmie Johnson Won't Win the Chase (AllLeftTurns)
Jackass 3D is on Paramount's slate for 2010, and my senses couldn't be more disturbed. It's difficult to bare the Jackass stunts when they are at a safe distance, but a Steve-O's God-knows-what flopping around in front of my face? Neh eh. Some things we're meant to be left flat, veeeeeery rarely mind you, and Jackass might just be one of those things.There isn't any official news on the squeakqual (because those guys fart a lot), but the first two films were a box office success so it makes sense that Paramount would line up another one. Just imagine the kind of rig their going to have to construct to get a 3D shot of Johnny Knoxville lighting his pubes on fire with Everclear and Sterno. I think we've finally discovered what this transformative technology was meant for. (via /Film)
Tonight on TV, hot chicks and Lucifer – the original douchebag.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Last night on The Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien brought to the public's attention some inappropriate content that seems to infest tomorrow's much anticipated release New Moon. As if a pack of shirtless werewolves wasn't a bad enough slaughter of a teen's moral fiber, they had to take it three steps farther. If I had a teenage daughter she would NOT be seeing New Moon tomorrow. No siree. I'd rather she'd be having unprotected sex with some townie at a kegger than being exposed to this filth.
In celebration of the 20th season of The Simpsons, a contest was held to create a new character. The winner of the 25,000+ received entries is 52 year-old Peggy Black of Orange, CT. Her character, Ricardo Bomba (pictured below), is a handsome, smooth-talking, hot-blooded lothario who's set to liquify the town's panties on the January 31st episode."Rrrri-carrr-do Bomba," Black said when describing the character, extravagantly rolling the "R's" in Spanish-language fashion. She then added, "You look mah-velous!!!" Soon after, her spinning bowtie went awry and cut her chin up pretty badly. (Yahoo)
What better way to win the role of Ranger Jones in the Yogi Bear movie than to audition with a bear? That's exactly what comedian T.J. Miller decided to do after auditioning twice and still feeling like he needed that extra something to rise to the top of the pack. Actually, T.J. made the video with director Jordan Vogt-Roberts as a joke, but it got into the hands of Barry M. Meyer, chairman of Warner Bros., who enjoyed it while most likely chortling loudly through a thick cloud of cigar smoke. I just figure that's the only way studio moguls watch anything. T.J. will leave for New Zealand tomorrow to begin shooting. Doesn't leave much time for the method approach to acting… (TheApiary)
Recently I reported that Forbes had crowned Simon Cowell the highest paid man on television. Now they've released a more pithy list and Will Ferrell sits at the top. Ferrell has been cited as the most overpaid actor in Hollywood based off the financial returns of his movies. This is of course due to flops like Land of the Lost and Semi Pro. An outraged Sean Penn commented, "Will Ferrell is one of our finest actors… who is willing to drop trow for laughs."Second on the list is Ewan McGregor, which is really hard to believe. Think about all the money that the Star Wars movies raked in. Not to mention Angels and Demons, Robots, Black Hawk Down, and Big Fish. Did The Island really do THAT poorly? (Forbes)
LEAKED: New Moon Auditions – Watch more Funny VideosC'mon Tom, you already played a vampire. Why you gotta weasle your way in to the current hottest Hollywood franchise? Help me help you click on these links. A User's Guide to Boob Terminology (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Hits Amazing Circus Shot (TotalProSports) Chicks + Cameras + Mirrors (TheChive) Travolta is an Idiot (FilmDrunk) Boldly Go Where No Bloopers Have Gone Before (SuperTremendous) Best Chick Flicks of All Time (Pajiba) 50 Cent and Michael Bay Bang Groupies (CelebJihad) Neil Patrick Harris's Very First Tweets (Unreality) 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Gamer Girl (Asylum) Anna Kournikova Ass Update: Still Tight (BustedCoverage) Little Girl Owned Hard by Door (RegretfulMorning) Least Safe Vehicle of the Year (MadeMan) Homestead Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Undercover Cop Gets Ass Kicked on City Bus (NothingToxic) The iPhone Affair (Atom)
We told you in July about Zhang Yimou's plan to remake Blood Simple. And in record time we have a trailer for the House of Flying Daggers director's take on the Coen Brother's classic. It seems like something may have been lost in translation.
Looks cuckoo-bananas to us Americans but this is business as usual for Asian audiences. To make matters far crazier, Yahoo also reports that this version will include 100% more rap than the original. They are reporting that Yimou himself has written a rap theme for the film and that he recently performed it on Chinese state television. So, an accomplished filmmaker has diverted from his career path to pursue rap at the risk of embarassing himself. Tread carefully Zhang Yimou. You don't want Joaquin Pheonix getting in your ass. (Yahoo)
Tonight's TV has some big name guest stars. And Skeet Ulrich.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Censorship has struck again, and not even Kevin Smith can wield his mighty sword to defeat it. The TV networks are prudes and don't like dirty words in their adveeeertissments (I wrote it like a proper British person would say it), so Smith's new comedy is changing "Dicks" to "Cops" for a title of A Couple of Cops, and the result is not double-entendre-y.This is disappointing because the new title doesn't make me giggle, it makes me drool. Maybe it's because I sometimes stick my pen too far up my nose, or it could be that it's so boring my brain seizes up in an effort to comprehend such a generic transformation. Hey, all you old people watching NCIS! You gonna have a heart attack if you see "Dicks" come up on screen? No, the WORD! Ahhhh, I can't talk to you people. (CinemaBlend)
Based off Hollywood's new obsession with optioning everything that has ever existed, I automatically assumed that the classic video game Space Invaders was making its way to the big screen. Thankfully I made an ass out of "me" and "umption." Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux has been brought onboard to rewrite and possibly direct the Will Arnett-vehicle Space Invader. The movie tells the story of a space shuttle janitor who flies to the International Space Station to cock-block a hunky astronaut who has designs on his astronaut girlfriend.Never thought I'd see the day that I was thankful for a Harland Williams retread but with standards as low as they are these days, beggars can't be choosers.
Paramount Home Entertainment put on a huge bash at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory to celebrate the release of Star Trek on DVD and Blu-ray and Screen Junkies caught up with J.J. Abrams on the black carpet. When asked if he would return for another impossible mission with Tom Cruise, Abrams indicated that he will serve as producer but has another film he's helming that will interfere with him directing another Mission: Impossible.“The one I’m directing hopefully next year, I’m just in the early stages of that or middle of that, which is probably going to preclude my availability for doing Mission,” Abrams said. “Although I so love what the script is, what the story is. Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec are writing a script and they’re doing an amazing job so I’m already sort of envious of whoever ends up directing that movie.”Don't feel too bad J.J.. I'm sure there are people out there that are jealous of Felicity. Somewhere.
This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)
Jeff Bridges may soon be able to wipe away the stigma of "Four Time Academy Award NOMINEE" from his title and add the coveted "Academy Award Winner." The trailer for Crazy Heart gives him a role as strong as Mickey Rourke's in The Wrestler, but replaces bright spandex with a good 'ol fashioned gee-tar. The Dude plays Bad Blake, a broke down country music singer looking to find salvation with the help of a journalist (instead of stripper this time) played by I-look-like-a-sad-turtle Maggie Gyllenhaal. As Blake and the turtle struggle down the road of redemption, they learn profound things about each other and themselves, and it changes their perception of the future. Basically.Check out the trailer after the jump.
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After tonight's episode of Melrose Place, it will be perfectly acceptable to call Heather Locklear a bitch again. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)
I turned out to be right when I reported last week that Rachel McAdams was definitely cast as Black Cat in Spider-Man 4 maybe. Today comes word from the actress that it is nothing more than an Internet rumor:“That’s a total rumor, I have to say,” the actress, who will next be seen in the Dec. 25 action-adventure tentpole Sherlock Holmes, tells EW. “I was hanging out in Toronto the other day and someone came up to me and said, ‘I just heard you’re doing Spider-Man 4.' And I said, ‘Really? No one told me!’ It’s not true.” A rep for Sony Pictures concurs: “It’s an Internet rumor, as so many things are these days.”See? So I was totally right possibly. But wait! There's more vague rumors surrounding the picture. A casting call for an adorable red-headed toddler went out yesterday leading many to speculate that Mary Jane Watson will be a mommy in the sequel. Whether the kid has any relation to Peter Parker remains to be seen. Casting will be difficult. They want a child who has both red hair and is adorable? Good luck dudes.(Entertainment Weekly)
Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Finally the trailer for the sequel to Demonic Toys has hit! The footage for Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons puts Avatar to shame. Who needs blue mutant cat people when you've got the dynamic duo of zombie baby and psycho jack in the box clown? James Cameron, hang your head in shame.Synopsis:
Period drama director Joe Wright is tucking away his Jane Austen boner for his next project. Focus Features is in talks with Wright to have him helm Hanna: an action-adventure-thriller that centers around a teenage assassin.Hanna is a 14 year-old Eastern European girl who was bred by the CIA to be a cold-blooded killer. After befriending a French family, she must fight to escape her grim destiny. Pffft. Teenagers. They have zero work ethic. "You are not going to the mall until you garrote the Prime Minister of Chechnya, young lady." (First Showing)
Bitch Slap is Quentin Tarantino's wet dream. It's a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Basically there are breasts, bombs, and bullets. Need more? Then get out of my house. Check out the trailer. Bitch Slap Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThen bitch slap these links. What Your Haircut Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Elizabeth Lambert is Looking for a Date (TotalProSports) Ed Hardy D-Bags (TheChive) Best Nickelback Cover of All Time (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Two-Headed Animals (SuperTremendous) Greatest Villains Portrayed by Comedians (Pajiba) Carrie Prejean Has a Whole Lotta Sex Tapes (CelebJihad) 10 Kick Ass Video Game Clowns (Unreality) Viagra Desserts are Delicious (Asylum) Jets-Raiders Chick Fight Because of the Face Kick (BustedCoverage) Japanese Blowup Doll Wrestling (RegretfulMorning) The Physics of Superheroes (MadeMan) Stewart Calls Earnhardt 'No Talent S.O.B.' (AllLeftTurns) Jamaican Catfight (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
Comedian/actor/game-show host Ken Ober has passed away. At first the news was dismissed as rumor but now reports are coming in that the 52 year old died from a heart attack over the weekend. Best known as the creator and host of MTV's late 1980s game-show Remote Control, Ober worked in recent years as a producer/writer for New Adventures of Old Christine, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, and Mind of Mencia.Having had the good fortune of working for Ken a few years back I can attest to his kindness and class. Rest in peace, Ken. You were always sweet and supportive. Television and I are better for having known you. (NY Times)
Tonight on Gossip Girl, uber-nutjob Lady Gaga cameos. I'll be so bummed if she doesn't wear her Kermit dress. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!