Jennifer Lawrence Wants To ‘Lie Down In Darkness’, Might Be A Little Bit Crazy
Thursday, August 12 by

Lawrence pictured on Level 4-1 of Super Mario Bros.
Jennifer Lawrence is having a great year. After breaking out in Winter's Bone, she quickly lined up roles in The Beaver and X-Men: First Class. Now she has her sights set on a role in Crazy Heart director Scott Cooper's Lie Down In Darkness.
"I am obsessed with that part. I have this feeling of protectiveness over characters I want to play. I worry about them — if someone else gets the part, I'm afraid they won't do it right."
The former star of "The Bill Engvall Show" goes on to say:
"I'm trying to write the director of 'Lie Down in Darkness' a letter to convince him that I should be in his movie. I'll chase him if I have to. I'll sit outside his house." She laughed. "I'm beside myself over that script. When I get like that, anything's possible."
Ruh-roh. Looks like we've got another Sean Young on our hands. I've already called the police. (W Magazine)

Expendable vs. Important Roles
Thursday, August 12 by

With the release of The Expendables this week, children of the 80s (like me) have many reasons to celebrate. Some of "our generation's" greatest action heroes are returning to the big screen. Not only that, they're bringing with them the kind of action that made us want to be them in the first place. Good old fashion action – the kind with machine guns with grenade launchers attached – the kind with limbs blowing off – the kind with Dolph Lundgren!
With all the stars in this movie (some on the rise, some on the decline), we wanted to look at each Expendable's career highs and lows (and the enormous chasm between) – because for every First Blood, there's a Judge Dredd…

Todd Phillips Bringing The Life Of John Belushi To The Screen
Thursday, August 12 by

Could we see Zach Galifianakis playing John Belushi in the near future? Possibly. THR has news that Todd Phillips and screenwriter Steven Conrad are developing a biopic about the comic legend at Warner Bros. Nearly thirty years after his death from a drug overdose, Belushi remains one of the most-respected names in comedy due to his classic films, "SNL" characters, and general fearlessness that he poured into his work.
Casting for this needs to be perfect or else the project is sunk. Names like Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Ethan Suplee have been thrown into the mix, but I feel like casting directors need look no further than comedian Sean Patton. This man is his exact double. If we can almost make Donald Glover a Spider-man, we can do this. Here's a clip of Patton killing on Jimmy Fallon:

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not sure that he can do Belushi's eyebrow thing.

Paramont Buys Rights to ‘Last Man Standing’ (Not Starring Bruce Willis)
Thursday, August 12 by

Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to Last Man Standing, SlashFilm is reporting. No, not the 1996 Bruce Willis flop, but rather the upcoming graphic novel by Daniel LuVisi.

The comic, which isn't due out until September, was purchased from Heavy Metal Publishing, which is owned by Kevin Eastman, co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The story chronicles the adventures of Gabriel, a genetically modified super-soldier who is framed as a mass murderer by a terrorist organization.
I don't blame you if your natural inclination is to draw parallels between this story and the current Mel Gibson frame-up we're watching unfold, but the book predates the Gibson incident, so any similarities are purely coincidental.
FREE MEL!

‘Old Spice Guy’ to Star in Drag Queen Fetish Film With Tyler Perry
Thursday, August 12 by

The Old Spice Guy, a.k.a. Isaiah Mustafa, has parlayed his recent popularity into a budding film career. First, he landed a smaller role in Horrible Bosses. Now comes word that Mustafa has landed a larger role in the upcoming Tyler Perry film, Madea's Big Happy Family.

The film is reportedly a drag queen flick that fetishizes fat old women and strong, supportive black families. Mustafa will co-star alongside Perry, who will play the drag queen in question, and Lil Bow Wow, who will play the guy who is lucky to be working. (Empire Online)

Prediction: ‘Avatar’ Will Never Get Made
Thursday, August 12 by

Your story checks out, James. Let's hope you were wrong about Skynet.
If there's one thing I love in this world, it's eating a nice big meal and then heading home to drop a deuce. If there's a second thing I love, it's Avatar. That's why my head almost exploded when I saw this picture. It manages to combine my love of Avatar and my love of defecation in a humorous and timely manner.

For those of you who don't know, the photo is from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, the Rolls-Royce of bathroom periodicals. This particular page from back in 1999 confirms James Cameron's long held assertion that he had to wait so long to make Avatar because technology had to catch up to his vision. I guess he isn't a pompous windbag after all, at least not in this instance.

Although, as someone on a comment board pointed out, this is James Cameron.  He could have easily sent one of his robots back in time to add that page. (Film Drunk)

‘Inception’ Ice Cream Truck Mows Guy Down
Wednesday, August 11 by

Someone added the Inception score to this video of a guy getting nailed by an ice cream truck. I'm hoping it was the kick he needed to snap him back to reality so he quits acting like an idiot and dancing in traffic.
Don't get blindsided by these links.

'At The Movies' Hosts On Show's Final Week (Moviefone)
Cocaine Trafficker Survives 21 Bullet Wounds (Asylum)
Top 10 Most Violent Movie Theatre Attacks (Ranker)
5 College Majors That Still Suck (HolyTaco)
'Anchorman' Is AFI's Number One Of All Time (FilmDrunk)
A Tribute To The Ultimate Instigators (Maxim)
Brooklyn Pizza Shop Getting Evicted (BarStoolSports)
9 Underrated Spider-Man Stories (EgoTV)
10 Overhyped Movies Before They Were Even Released (Pajiba)
What's Wrong With Kids Today (Unreality)
Kid Breaks Arm, Toughs It Out For Contest(TotalProSports)
Check Out The Booty Pop! (Smosh)
11 Greatest Fast Food Fights And Freakouts (BroBible)
Bar Refaeli Mossad Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
The Ladies Will Have To Work Extra Fast At Friday's Strikeforce (CagePotato)
Meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Fire-Spinnin' Brother, Dan (PopEater)
Win The Wedding Party Dance Off (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 3: 'Nighthawks' (MovieHopping)

AMC Officially Picks Up ‘The Killing’
Wednesday, August 11 by

AMC has officially picked up the crime thriller the "The Killing" to series. It will join the line-up of "Mad Men," "Rubicon," "Breaking Bad," and "The Walking Dead," the Frank Darabont zombie series that you and I both can't wait to premiere in October. The show will be renamed, and run by creator/executive producer Veena Sud.
Set in Seattle, the series is based on the wildly successful Danish television series “Forbrydelsen” and tells the story of the murder of a young girl and the subsequent police investigation. Production on the series begins this fall in Vancouver and season one consists of 13, one-hour episodes. The series is slated to premiere in 2011 on AMC.
If you're intrigued, you can read the rest of the press release after the jump. And just FYI, Keanu Reeves doesn't star in it. Awww, don't be sad. Put that sandwich down and get off of that bench.

‘Firefappers’…Coming Soon
Wednesday, August 11 by

That's not going to put it out, you guys.

Zach Galifianakis Smiles for the ‘Due Date’ Poster
Wednesday, August 11 by

What up with Zach Galifianakis's face in this new poster for Due Date? I don't think I've ever seen the man smile. It doesn't even look like he willingly smiled for this picture. The artist must have turned his frown upside down with the "Smile" Photoshop pluggin. You should totally download it.
The best part of the poster is the friggin' adorable French Bulldog. Look at that g.d. thing. I want to smoosh its precious little face until it's mush, which is the main reason I'm on PETA's sh*tlist. (Yahoo)

Paramount Bids ‘Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick’
Wednesday, August 11 by

Paramount has scooped up the rights to the not-yet-published young adult novel Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. The story follows a high school student who gets stuck with a homely and boring European exchange student who turns out to be secretly hot. And also an assassin.
If that sounds like "Chuck" to you, then you have a promising future in Hollywood. "Chuck" creator Josh Schwartz has been attached to develop the concept. Speaking of Chuck, this sounds a lot like Palahniuk's novel Pygmy. So imagine Pygmy meets I Love You, Beth Cooper, minus the social commentary. And Hayden Panettiere. (Deadline)

Daily Expendable: Jet Li
Wednesday, August 11 by

Know for lightning quick reflexes and amazing acrobatic stunts, Jet Li is one Expendable not to mess with. While stateside we've seen Li play more of the standard stone cold killer types in War, Romeo Must Die, and Lethal Weapon 4, over in his native China, Li is far more badass. Just check out his amazing work in Once Upon a Time in China, Hero, or Fist of Legend for a good action smack in the teeth.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Wong Fei-hung in Once Upon a Time in China trilogy
Weird Fact: When he was 11-years-old he won a trip to Washington D.C. to  meet President Richard Nixon after becoming the Chinese National Champion in Wushu martial arts.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Now There’s This: ‘HALKa’, The Bangladeshi ‘Incredible Hulk’
Wednesday, August 11 by

Today the Internet has lovingly delivered us this trailer for HALKa, the Bangladeshi attempt at capturing the legend of the Incredible Hulk. I don't believe that, "Say whaaaaaaaaa?!," begins to cover it.
This trailer tells the classic story of the Hulk's origin: being publicly sodomized with a pick-axe by bullies to the point that Bruce Banner invents an Incredible Hulk potion using beakers and Doogie Howser's computer. He then goes on to fight his greatest enemy, Guy With Bicycle With Guns On It. Whatever, the trailer looks amazing. It's even more trippy than Enter The Void.
Just see for yourself after the jump…

Sofia Vergara Won’t Shut Up About Sex
Wednesday, August 11 by

Sofia Vergara let the Freudian slips fly on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night. Actually, it all started earlier in the day when Sofia tweeted that she was excited to "do Kimmel" that night. Except she meant "do" as in appear on, not "do" as in bang.
In trying to defend herself on the show, she kept accidentally rambling on and on about sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex. Does the woman think of nothing else? Before we know it she's going to convince Christina Hendricks that they should do a topless photoshoot together. It sickens me! **Mother pulls ear away from bedroom door. Google "Modern Family/Mad Men" fan fiction**
Check out the euphemisms after the jump…

Review: ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’
Wednesday, August 11 by

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World PG-13, 105m., 2010 Cast: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kerian Culken, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, with Brandon Routh and Jason Schwartzman Directed by Edgar Wright…

Scarlett Johansson and Blake Lively Sparring It Out For ‘Gravity’ Lead
Wednesday, August 11 by

It was rumored last week that Blake Lively was making a play for the role of sexy astronaut in Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity. However, it's been expected that role was Scarlett Johansson's for the taking. Well, now it's official that both ladies are pushing for the part, with reports that they both have tested for the role.
Will this create a rift between the two? Will that rift involve wrestling?? Hopefully. We'll let you know if and when Pay-Per-View tickets for the event go on sale. Gravity is said to be a really ambitious, experimental film that would require a lot from whichever actress lands the part. Neither Johansson or Lively have carried a film of this magnitude to date, but both are ready to step up. Personally, I'm really torn. Either would be super-convincing as an astronaut. (THR)

‘The Hangover’ Funded Mike Tyson’s Drug Habit
Wednesday, August 11 by

The Playlist has alerted us to an interview with Mike Tyson that is as candid as you'd expect from the man who once threatened to "f*ck you until you love him." It all came about when Mike wandered into a Las Vegas radio station unexpectedly after a trip to the dentist. If you're familiar with David After The Dentist, you know that you're in for a treat. Here are some of my favorite parts.
On The Hangover:
“I was doing that to supply my drug habit. I’m sorry I’m coming at you guys like this… I said, ‘Wow, This is going to be really good. We’re going to sell this stuff on 42nd street on bootleg and make a lot of money.’ This is my best thinking on drugs… It wasn’t that way. It was an international success."
On becoming a Vegan:
“I became a Vegan. Vegan is where no animal products. No livestock products. Nothing."
On his slow-transformation to vampirism:
"My personal life is so isolated right now. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m invited." (except for when he wanders into radio stations of course. – Ed.)
And on the arduous task of wiping one's butt when weighing 350 lbs:
“It was hard to wipe my butt… I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something."
Awesome. MTV needs to find a way to get him into the "Jersey Shore" house. (ESPN Radio)

Britney Spears to Guest Star on ‘Glee’
Wednesday, August 11 by

Good news for anyone who likes washed-up pop stars! Britney Spears is going to appear on "Glee", according to the show's creator Ryan Murphy.

Instead of having a drunken Spears ram her car into the glee club's bus or attempt to buy drugs off of one of the students, the show decided to take the high road by having most of Britney's scenes take place in a dream sequence.

After being put under in the dentist's chair, some of the characters from the show will "hallucinate about being like the singer." I can only assume that means they will dream about forgetting to feed their children while drunkenly scouring the house for that last free sample of Valtrex. (Coming Soon)

Helen Mirren and Russell Brand Give ‘Arthur’ a Happy Ending
Wednesday, August 11 by

Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.

The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)

Christina Hendricks ‘Undressed’
Tuesday, August 10 by

Fooled ya! This clip from MTV's "Undressed" features a Christina Hendricks circa 1999, but she doesn't get naked. Still, it's Christina Hendricks at age 24. Niiiiiiiiice. (BuzzFeed)
These links will cool you down.
'The Avengers' Fan-Made 1952 Trailer (BreakHorror)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 2: 'Tango & Cash' (MovieHopping)
Celebrate Lazy Day With 7 Of The Laziest TV Characters Ever (TVSquad)
JetBlue Attendant Goes Crazy And Jumps Out Of Emergency Exit (Asylum)
7 Roles Michael Cera Shouldn't Play (HolyTaco)
FrotCast Episode 9: Sh*t My Dad Says (FilmDrunk)
Wet Hot American Stunner (Maxim)
A Guy Dies Screwing A Tree? (BarStoolSports)
9 Worst Children's Movies Of The 80s (EgoTV)
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10 Of The Hottest Comic Book Girls (Unreality)
Chick Gets Orgasm On Carnival Ride SFW (TotalProSports)
Lady Gaga Does Coke (Smosh)
Girl Quits Her Job Via Dry Ease Board Messages (BroBible)
Montana Fishburne Sex Tape Video (CelebJihad)
Gina Carano May Not Fight Again (CagePotato)
Michael Moore: Hollywood Has Dried Up (PopEater)
Madden NFL 2011 Review (MadeMen)

Adrien Brody To Have Hard Time Matching Christina Hendricks’s Eye-Line In ‘Detached’
Tuesday, August 10 by

Eyes up, Brody!
Adrien Brody has signed on for cuckoo bird director Tony Kaye's Detached. Brody will star as a substitute teacher who becomes attached to a teenage prostitute while working at a troubled school. He later gets in trouble when he shows a gay film in class in an attempt to teach tolerance. I'm going out on a limb here and guessing it was Victor Salva's Clownhouse.
Christina Hendricks also stars as a teacher and potential love interest who encourages Brody's sub to go full-time. Brody has proven talented in a number of complex roles but this may be his greatest challenge yet. Can you imagine trying not to look at Christina Hendricks's boobs all day, every day? That's a test of endurance even David Blaine wouldn't be able to pass. (The Playlist)

Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman Take Over Atlanta News Station
Tuesday, August 10 by

It seems a little convenient that Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman have a movie coming out this weekend and they just so happen to be reporting the weather on Atlanta's Fox 5 News. Unless this whole thing was an ingenius plan… The two actors, in an effort to promote Scott Pilgrim vs. the World screw around for two minutes in front of an animated green screen. The best part comes right in the beginning when Cera is trampled by a poorly rendered school bus. What would make the clip even better is if the local morning news anchors would shut the hell up. Let the comedians be funny, news anchors. The producer will let you know when there's an update on those human remains found at the Carvels.
Check out the zany forecast after the jump…

Danny McBride and Rhys Darby Tapped To Join ‘The Office’
Tuesday, August 10 by

Everyone's curious what will become of "The Office" after this season, once Steve Carell packs his assorted chochkies and potted plant into a banker's box and is forcefully removed from the Scranton Sabre branch. A replacement has yet to be named but sources say that both of the slobs pictured above have been contacted about joining the cast.
Showrunner Paul Lieberstein confirms that Rhys Darby ("Flight of the Conchords") and Danny McBride (every comedy) are having conversations about coming aboard in the role of a new salesman. It's not a done deal that the actor who takes this role will take over as boss. That job could easily go to a current castmember. Sound off in the 'comments' section to let us know who you think would make the best dipsh*t boss. (EW)

Daily Expendable: Mickey Rourke
Tuesday, August 10 by

 
Mickey Rourke is the most accomplished dramatist of the rock'em sock'em team in The Expendables. An 80s icon who after pulling off a series of great performances in Diner, Rumble Fish, The Pope Of Greenwich Village, Angel Heart, and Barfly fell off the map and didnt re-surface until 20 years later with his award winning performance in The Wrestler. Now he's back and kicking major acting chop ass. Just remember don't get between him and his chihuahuas or they'll be hell to pay.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Henry Chinaski in Barfly

Weird Fact: Walked off the set of a movie because the producers wouldn't let him use his pet chihuahua.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

7 Ex-Boyfriends Scott Pilgrim Can’t Beat
Tuesday, August 10 by

This weekend, Scott Pilgrim will be bus fighting "the world," who in this instance are the seven evil ex-boyfriends of Ramona V. Flowers. He’ll be going through all this just…

Riley Keough Hitched To ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’
Tuesday, August 10 by

Elvis's hot granddaughter Riley Keough is in talks to join Mad Max: Fury Road. Should she end up in the role, she'll play one of the "Five Wives," a convoy of women that Tom Hardy must protect. Polygamy is sooo hot right now. Joining Keough in the spouse pile are Zoe Kravitz, Teresa Palmer, and Adelaide Clemens. No word yet on who will say I do to playing the fifth wifey.
Hey, it's a good thing Mel Gibson isn't part of this sequel, right? Because he and wives? You know? That whole thing that's happening. You know what I'm talking about. (THR)

Fall TV Tips: The Sitcoms About Family
Tuesday, August 10 by

Here’s the third installment of your guide to the new fall TV shows and this time I dish out wisdom about the sitcoms centered around a family. Please don't confuse these shows with 'family sitcoms' — the shows like "Full House" and the one with Urkel that were ‘kid safe’ and painfully lacking in humor. These are sitcoms that are made for adults and just happen to be about a family. There aren't many of these debuting this fall, but there is one you definitely want to tune in to.
WATCH IT: “$#*! My Dad Says” (CBS), Thursdays at 8:30 pm (ET) 

Pee-wee Herman Takes His Mean Machine To Sturgis
Tuesday, August 10 by

He missed Comic Con, but it seems any large gathering will do. Even at the risk of being curbed. The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally was overtaken by nuuuurds yesterday when Pee-wee Herman appeared at the Buffalo Chip campground. Pee-wee shared the bill with Ozzy, Kid Rock, ZZ Top, and Bob Dylan, and also led the world's largest Tequila Dance in honor of National Tequila Day (which I missed so I'll start celebrating immediatshillayly arriba arriba!!!).
"Bob Dylan is here because people like him and Pee-wee is here for the same reason," said Buffalo Chip owner Rod Woodruff. "They are both American icons." Oooooo, I can't wait to see what Cate Blanchett will do with the porn theater scene in Herman's inevitable biopic. (Huffington Post)

‘John Carter Of Mars’ Has a Release Date
Tuesday, August 10 by

Good news, John Carter Of Mars fans (both of you).

Disney has set a release date for the film. Now the two of you can plan ahead and drive together. What, you don't even live in the same state? Well, considering the film won't be coming out until June 8th, 2012, you've got plenty of time to coordinate.

For those of you who aren't in "the know," the film is based on the sci-fi books of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and will be shown in 3D. Considering the likelihood of scantly-clad Martian women, this is one 3D production I think we can all agree on.
See dad, I'm not gay. Why would I want to look at boobs in 3D if I was gay? ANSWER ME! (Hollywood Reporter)

TLC’s ‘Sister Wives’ is Heavy on Polygamy and Ankle-Length Jean Skirts
Tuesday, August 10 by

I'll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine.
TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network's new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It's like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping.
But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they're just like you or me…except for the whole "cult" thing.
“They are very much a modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’"
You know, he has a point. Maybe there's nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don't shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I'm pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)