JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME STARS IN “KARATE”
Tuesday, May 26 by

Here we have the poster for Jean Claude Van Damme's new release Karate. Details about the plot are currently murky. It's either about professional quilting or a spiritual journey that brings a family closer together. Sounds boring. I really wish that there were some kind of combat involved. (Movie Hole)More morning headlines…Big-screen Buffy to slay vamps without Joss Whedon? (Reuters)Avatar powersuit? (/Film)Steve Coogan planning an Alan Partridge film. (First Showing)Video of Jimmy Kimmel's Upfronts Comedy Jam. (Pajiba)Twitter: The TV Series. (TV Squad)

NEW WEBSITE HELPS SCHEDULE YOUR PEE BREAKS
Monday, May 25 by

The new website RunPee.Com has arrived and it's going to totally change theater-going as we know it. Imagine that you're watching Transformers 2 and your teeth are floating. You don't want to break away to the facility because you don't want to miss any blurry, confusing-to-look-at robot fights or any of Megan Fox's screentime. Those days are gone, friend. Thanks to RunPee, you now know the exact moment within a film that it is safe to excuse yourself and awkwardly step on all the toes in your row. We're one step closer to utopia. The future begins.On this Memorial Day, take a moment to remember those summer blockbusters that sucked balls. (Pajiba) Joe Dante gives up juicy Gremlins dirt. (Dread Central)New Land Of The Lost Clip Online. (MTV) Fan-made LEGO movie posters are pretty rad. (Specky Boy) Lyndsy Fonseca jumps in Hot Tub. (Empire) 

‘THE WHITE RIBBON’ WINS PALME D’OR AT CANNES
Sunday, May 24 by

White Ribbon – Scene 1 – Watch more Movie Trailers Well, the 2009 Festival de Cannes wrapped up, and the winner of the prestigious Palme d'Or was not, in fact, Lars von Trier's Willem Dafoe's Bare Ass and Mutilated Balls.  Nay, the honor went to Michael Haneke's The White Ribbon (Das weiße Band), a film about the strange happenings in 1913 at a German school dealing with ritual punishment. Haneke also directed the torture film, Funny Games.  By our estimates, this makes him the German Judd Apatow. Check out the other clip from the film – conveniently translated into English for those of us who don't sprechen ze Deutsch, if you know what I mean.  And if you do, you sprechen ze Deutsch, so just make sure your speakers are on.

MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
Sunday, May 24 by

Cast: Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black, Other SAG and SAG-eligible Actors (But who cares, really?)Synopsis: "Probably going to be the best show on Comedy Central since that episode of 'Crank Yankers' where the puppets started humping the clock radio." – Michael Ian BlackNetwork: Read above, Sir Skims-a-Lot

NEW CLIPS FROM ‘THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS’
Sunday, May 24 by

This morning, Slashfilm's Brendon Connelly posted three clips from Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which just screened at Cannes and wowed the critics, many of whom framed their reviews around this being Heath Ledger's final film.  The first clip features the recently departed actor donning a mask that gives me the creeps/flashbacks to Eyes Wide Shut and Amadeus, and wooing a small crowd of curious bystanders.  I couldn't help but notice a few tiny Joker-like nuances in the way Ledger moves in this scene.  Still hadn't shaken the clown when he shot this, I suppose. The other clips, which you can see after the jump, are a little more .  One features Christopher Plummer as the titular character, and a lot of cool SFX that's a little LOTR, a little Harry Potter, and a lot Gilliam.  The other features actress Lily Cole doing her best Lolita while Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer drives a horse-drawn carriage.  Not as adorable as one would think.  This is Gilliam, after all.  He could make the Muppet Babies off-putting.

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS
Sunday, May 24 by

Director: Terry GilliamCast: Johnny Depp, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, Christopher Plummer, Lily Cole Synopsis: A fantastical morality tale, set in the present day, telling the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom.

YOUR WEEKEND LINKS
Friday, May 22 by

           Caught Masturbating!        Movies for Every Holiday    Spank Bank: Sasha Grey           John August Writes a Book  Shia Labeouf Directs Now    Common is… Dow Jones!           Cyberdyne Techie Talk          Best of new Sci-Fi         If Celebs Switched Genders              Coolest Airport Ever          Drunk Indy 500 Moments        Better than a Girlfriend

‘SURROGATES’ TRAILER W/ BRUCE WILLIS, VING RHAMES & RADHA MITCHELL
Friday, May 22 by

Bruce Willis is back, bald and with a full head of hair! How is that possible, you ask? Well it’s easy when you’re playing a bald man plugged into a machine that allows you to control your thick haired carbon copy.  The trailer for the new sci-fi/action thriller Surrogates hit the 'nets today and it looks like a doozy of a concept.  Set in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop (Willis) is forced to leave his home for the first time in years in order to investigate the murders of others’ surrogates.  The film comes from director Jonathan Mostow, who also directed Terminator 3, U-571, and Breakdown starring Kurt Russell (awesome!).  Take a look at the trailer after the jump, let us know what you think – like whether or not you like Ving Rhames in dreadlocks.

SURROGATES
Friday, May 22 by

Director: Jonathan MostowCast: Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, Boris KodjoeSynopsis: Set in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop (Willis) is forced to leave his home for the first time in years in order to investigate the murders of others’ surrogates.Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy 

BAZOOKA JOE MOVIE IN THE WORKS
Friday, May 22 by

Remember those non-amusing comic strips that came with that non-chewable gum you used to buy as a kid? Well, good news! Michael Eisner is bringing the adventures of Bazooka Joe to the big screen, according to the Hollywood Reporter. Every year thousands upon thousands of filmmakers struggle to get their work on screen and have their dreams crushed when they fail to do so. But for some reason, Bazooka Joe gets to be a movie. And it will probably be released in DIGITAL 3D.It's only a matter of time before we see something like this on the silver screen: Check out these other morning news pieces… Twilight star beats up fans. (Funny Or Die)Creature from Black Lagoon is now ragin' and rockin'. Frankenstein still amblin' and clobberin'. (Dread Central)First look at Airbender, a movie who's title sounds like fart slang. (/Film) Greatest TV Show Ever. (Holy Taco)Wayans Family Tree. (MTV)

10 GREAT WAR MOVIE QUOTES
Thursday, May 21 by

Well, Memorial Day is upon us: a time to reflect on all those who fought for our country.  Try to fit some time for that into your three-day weekend… maybe in between screenings of Terminator Salvation and Star Trek.  After all, war is, as the saying goes, hell… but war movie dialogue totally blows us away! (Oh yes we did!!) Yeah…watching guys get shot up into less grotesque versions of the "Real Housewives of New York City" is awesome, but some of the high caliber conversation from war flicks sticks with you longer than a Vietnam flashback. Here are some of our favorite lines from war flicks that have left the biggest scars on our memories…

‘TERMINATOR: HANDJOBS FOR THE FUTURE’ SHORT
Thursday, May 21 by

Handjobs For The Future Our friends at Atom posted this Terminator Salvation-inspired short that surmises what would really happen if James Cameron's vision of time travel were possible.  It gives a whole new meaning to Arnold's ubiquitous "Come with me if you want to live."  Thanks, I'll be here all week. The Best Movie Robots Ever (Pajiba) Will Smith Did Something Dull (FilmDrunk) The Dow Jones Yo (SickPigs) Inappropriate Ronald McDonald Photos (Manofest) Dee Lyla Is HOT (GorillaMask) Everyones Hitting The Recession (IAmBored) Carlos Mencia's Twittering? (Cracked) The Expendables Poster Is Now Here (Filmofilia) Lionsgate's Upcoming Features (DreadCentral) Tom Cruise And Will Smiths Scientological Discussions (Holytaco) Katrina Darrell Gallery (BustedCoverage) Bikini Pro Pics (Uncoached) Awful Terminator Costumes (UnrealityMag) Inglourius Basterds Review (ThePlaylist) Clippers Are Gonna Snag Griffin (MoonDogSports)

Thursday Afternoon Link Time
Thursday, May 21 by

 The Best Movie Robots Ever (Pajiba)Will Smith Did Something Dull (FilmDrunk)The Dow Jones Yo (SickPigs)Inappropriate Ronald McDonald Photos (Manofest)Dee Lyla Is HOT (GorillaMask)Everyones Hitting The Recession (IAmBored)Carlos Mencia's Twittering? (Cracked)

DOWNLOAD ‘BROTHERS BLOOM’ COMMENTARY ON iTUNES
Thursday, May 21 by

It appears Rian Johnson, the mastermind behind Brick and The Brothers Bloom, has decided to record and make available a downloadable commentary podcast to coincide with the expansion of Brothers Bloom’s limited release.  With movie tickets costing the price of what a kidney goes for on the black market nowadays, I’m sure tons of people are really excited about forking over the price for two tickets to see the movie with and without commentary.  Then again, I saw Brick twice in theaters, so maybe Johnson’s filmmaking is just badass enough to convince me to do this.  Or maybe I’m just lonely enough to see a movie twice with an iPhone podcast as my only company.    Find the link to the commentary after the jump!

DOWNLOAD ‘BROTHERS BLOOM’ COMMENTARY ON iTUNES
Thursday, May 21 by
INTERVIEW: HOW TO SURVIVE ‘THE HANGOVER’
Thursday, May 21 by

The Hangover is a comedy about a bachelor party in Las Vegas that loses the groom. The morning after their night of debauchery, they have to reconstruct their party to locate their missing friend. The stars – Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Heather Graham – and director Todd Phillips shared their tips for making a Vegas comedy, and continued the same kind of hilarious riffing that made it into the final cut opening June 5th in theaters everywhere.Ed Helms: “I guess my character, Stu, is kind of a nervous nelly, rule follower of the group.

TERMINATOR SALVATION’S BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD
Thursday, May 21 by

Today's the big day… Judgment Day has happened… the Machines have Risen… but Salvation is on our doorsteps.  Despite a 34% score on RottenTomatoes (as of this post), Terminator Salvation, which opens today, will most likely pack 'em into theaters like a Harvester bagging meatsacks.  And Bryce Dallas Howard (above) is another reason to go see it.  Unless you're listening to Harry Knowles' scathing review, which states that all Bryce was did during the film was "open her eyes really wide." In the film, Bryce plays Kate Connor, the wife of John Connor – a role originated in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, by Claire Danes.  And as you'll see from the picture above and the ones after the jump, if there's any actress whose baby blues we'd like to see widening repeatedly on screen, it's Ms. Howard.Narrow your eyes in the blinding beauty of Bryce photos after the jump. 

‘TERMINATOR SALVATION’ REVIEW
Thursday, May 21 by

By Afrim, sole member of the Albanian Guard Hello, United States, for one time again. Is Afrim. Is you remember me? I tell you about movie Angels plus Demons. I back in internet café in Baltimore. I is having problems with travel visa and immigration police tell me I can no go back to Albania. Is okay, I have good bed for sleeping at house of my cousin Fatbardha. Is better than box of wood that I am sleeping in Tirana! Is kidding! I has very comfortable mule for sleeping.

KIRK ACEVEDO FIRED FROM FRINGE
Thursday, May 21 by

Bad news for Fringe fans, it seems that J.J. Abrams and Co. have dicked over Kirk Acevedo, the actor who plays Charlie on the series. Or I should say played Charlie on the series. io9 reports that he has been released from the series in order to make room for a brash, new female agent. It's a shame because Acevedo is a very talented and interesting performer who was consistently under-utilized on the sci-fi serial. He notified the world of his dismissal via his Facebook page.I, on the other hand, recently used Facebook to put forth this existential quandary, "Chinese food or go to gym????"Get all up in these morning headlines…Fanboys 2 to shoot next year, be released in 2017. (Cinema Blend) Somebody won American Idol. (TV Squad)5 Reasons Why the Terminator Franchise Doesn't Make No Sense. (Cracked)Will Spiderman 4 include Kirsten Dunst? (Latino Review)Voice of Mickey Mouse passes away. High-Pitch Eric waiting by the phone. (Reuters)

LARRY DAVID SINGS HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND WASHES HANDS IN CLIP FROM WOODY ALLEN’S ‘WHATEVER WORKS’
Wednesday, May 20 by

Larry David Sings Happy Birthday – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSIn this clip from Woody Allen's new film, Whatever Works, comedian Larry David washes his hands and sings the "Happy Birthday" song twice… then repeats the sequence two more times.  I guess the marketing department took one look at the movie's title before choosing a clip to send out.  Why The Terminator Franchise Is Confusing (Cracked)Look Through The Glass (Pajiba)Brianna Lee Is A Babe (SickPigs)The 100 Sexiest Video Game Babes Of All Time (Manofest)But You Told Me I Was The Man (MoondogSports)Chris Pontius To Star In New Sophia Coppola Film (FilmDrunk)Bianca Beauchamp Is Hot (GorillaMask)Massive Flying Shark Attack (IAmBored)Inglourius Basterds Clip (Filmofilia)Paramount Adapts Daemon (DreadCentral)Christian Bales Terminator Doodles (Holytaco)Sara Luppnio Is Sexy (BustedCoverage)Marissa Miller Bikini Pics (Uncoached)Is Fox Getting Smarter At Manipulating You? (Unreality)Jonathan Glazer Adapts Under The Skin (ThePlaylist)Swimming In Pavemet (TomOatmeal)Security Guard Kills Himself (NothingToxic)Khan Is A douchebag (AtomFilms)

TERMINATOR SALVATION’S MOON BLOODGOOD
Wednesday, May 20 by

Tomorrow, Terminator Salvation opens, and there's been a lot of controversy surrounding its PG-13 rating.  You see, it's the first Terminator flick that's been anything less than an "R," and the question remains as to whether or not that means watered down.  One decidely R-Rated moment chopped from the film is a topless Moon Bloodgood (above), who plays Blair Williams, a badass lady pilot for the Resistance. Where Else You've Seen Her:You might recognize her as Livia Beale, time-jumping hero Dan Vasser's ex on the short-lived NBC series, "Journeyman."  She also had a brief scene in What Just Happened, the Barry Levinson-directed comedy starring Robert DeNiro as a Hollywood producer losing his mind.  And she's also got a couple episodes of "Burn Notice" under her belt, which is not the only accessory she's not wearing in any of the photos after the jump.  Random Quote: "I'm into chivalry. As much as I'm a guy's girl with a potty mouth, a polite man who opens the door is so refreshing."Click "MORE" for more photos of Ms. Bloodgood.

3 NEW CLIPS FROM TARANTINO’S ‘INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS’
Wednesday, May 20 by

Quentin Tarantino’s WW2 opus Inglourious Basterds dropped at Cannes last night, and was met with mixed reviews.  Lots of folks loved it, but we heard it through the grapevine (the grapevine being our friends at Pajiba), that some snooty type from The Guardian called it "Cannes' Turkey."  And while they haven't commented yet, we're sure the Nazi Film Critics Society pooped all over it.  They hate everything but Mel Gibson movies.  Inglourious Basterds – Clip #1 – Watch Movie Trailers Check out this first clip with Lt. Aldo Rain (Brad Pitt) pumping Bridget von Hammersmarck (Diane Kruger) for info on Hitler's whereabouts.  And then watch the other two after the jump.

SAM RAIMI TALKS ‘DRAG ME TO HELL’
Wednesday, May 20 by

SAM RAIMI knows horror.  Sure, he’s spent the last decade filming a certain web-slinger swinging from skyscrapers, but he’s finally returned to the genre where he established his unique visual style.  In Drag Me To Hell, Raimi dusts off his duffel bag of detached eyeballs, maggot puke, and thrashing demonic heads…  And, well, it's been worth the wait, to say the least.

BRUCE WILLIS TO STAR IN FAIRY TALE TAKE-OFF, GRIMM
Wednesday, May 20 by

Bruce Willis is set to star in an interesting new thriller. In Grimm, Willis plays the new Police Chief of a small town. All is well until townspeople begin dying mysterious deaths a la fairy tales. Sounds pretty cool. And SCREENJUNKIES has an exclusive photo from the film. Take a look!That wolf had it coming.And here are more of your morning headlines…MacGruber!!!! (Pajiba)First clips from V. (io9) Spiderman 4 shooting soonish. (The Playlist) Pedro Almodovar is a P-I-M-P. (Yahoo) Ghostbusters 3 to cast Elisha Dushku??? Why not get, you know, somebody who can act? (/Film) 7 Completely Unrealistic Movie Plots That Came True. (Cracked)

‘MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN’ STARRING HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN WILL MAKE DAVID BLAINE ITS BITCH!
Tuesday, May 19 by

By the Unholy Thumbnail Depicting Willem Dafoe's Ass!  FilmDrunk reports that the new Mandrake the Magician film will see its titular hero escape from an SUV that's been dropped from a plane over the Burning Man Festival (hello, nudist acid tripper one-liner to end that scene), bust a rogue CIA agent out of a maximum secruity prison, and  confront the girl he's left behind.  This makes The Prestige look like a Lars Von Trier film.  The guy who directed Willem Dafoe's ASS in AntiChrist (see thumbnail).  I just came full circle. The Best Heinz Ketchup Interview (SickPigs)The 10 Hottest Daisy Dukes (Manofest)Spielberg And MLK Biopic (Pajiba)Jaclyn Denise Is HOT (GorillaMask)Dont Be Pee Shy (IAmBored)7 True And Unrealistic Movie Plots (Cracked)Broken Embraces Trailer (Filmofilia)Haunting In Conneticut Coming To July (DreadCentral)How To Hide Your Girlfriends Dog You Killed (Holytaco)Bikini Models Hit Manhattan (BustedCoverage)Annette Dawn Is Sexy (Uncoached)Retarded New Moon Poster (Unreality)AntiChrist Review features more Dafoe Ass (ThePlaylist)

12 ACTRESSES YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER
Tuesday, May 19 by

They’re not household names, but if there’s any justice in the world, they will be soon.  These twelve talented actresses are some of Screenjunkies' picks to have a real future in this crazy, unforgiving business of show.  It doesn't hurt their chances that they also happen to be easy on the eyes. Talent and beauty, folks!  Step right up!  

3 NEW CLIPS FROM ‘TRANSFORMERS REVENGE OF THE FALLEN’
Tuesday, May 19 by

"They have returned… to finish… what they started."  So read the title cards in the new clips from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  Why does every dramatic title card sequence want to be read like it's coming from the mouth of Stevie, the asthmatic paraplegic kid from "Malcolm in the Middle?"  Check out the other two clips after the jump, which includes a sequence of mega-badass villain The Fallen coming together, and one of the Autobots making a quip about it being "time for an upgrade." You can catch the Transformers working the hotel circuit in the Catskills this Fall.  Try the veal.

SPIELBERG SET TO PRODUCE MLK BIOPIC
Tuesday, May 19 by

Variety reports that Steven Spielberg is set to produce a biopic about the life of inspiring civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.. The King Estate has granted Dreamworks unprecedented access to the intellectual property of Dr. King including his famous, "I Have A Dream" speech. It goes without saying that this is an important film and I sincerely hope that it is done intelligently and respectfully. In other words, don't let George Lucas near it.Check out more morning headlines. Michael Mann talks up his new talkie, Public Enemies. (The Playlist) Thor casts relative unknowns. (Superhero Hype)Transformers 2 pics roll out. (/Film) LOST characters come clean. (Cracked)Mystery Team finds a distributor. (CHUD) Don Pardo bids farewell. (TV Squad)

TRAILER FOR ‘SHERLOCK HOLMES’ WITH ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
Monday, May 18 by

SHerlock Holmes Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersExtra!  Extra!  Getch yer new trailer for Guy Ritchie's hard-hitting, pipe-smoking, mutton chop-sporting adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's classic, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong and a bunch of dodgy cockney spivs! 

TRAILER FOR NEW PARIS HILTON DOCUMENTARY, ‘PARIS, NOT FRANCE’
Monday, May 18 by

According to the "like nachos, but zestier" Film Drunk, The Paris Hilton documentary Paris, Not France – soon to send a generation of geography teachers to suicidal lows – just released this three-minute teaser-trailer.  Read FD's in-depth analysis, which coins the soon-to-be-on-a-tee-shirt term, “PAPARAZZI ASS DILDO PARTY” here.Let's get this link party started! No denying Patricia Silveira Is A Hot Babe (SickPigs) Hilarious Water Skiing Monkeys (Manofest) Tom Hanks Is A Funny Guy (Pajiba) Angelina Christina's Spank Bank (GorillaMask) Watch The Dude With The Cell Phone (IAmBored) 18 More Disturbing Sex Toys (Cracked) Jim Carrey looks creepy In A Christmas Carol (Filmofilia) Fox Pulls The Plug On Sarah Connor Chronicles (DreadCentral) This Man Can Help You With Video Production (Holytaco) Brenda Lynn Is A Sexy Babe (BustedCoverage) Jenna Brooke Is A Hottie (Uncoached) Princess And The Frog Trailer (Unreality) Martin Short To Be In Arrested Development Movie (ThePlaylist) Employee Of The Month (TomOatmeal) Taxi Cuts Down Young Lady (NothingToxic) The Sexiest Chicks Of Summer (Chickipedia)