This year marks the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, and the self-absorbed Baby Boomer nostalgia surrounding this “milestone” is enough to make the ghost of John Bonham vomit. To hear it described now, Woodstock was an event of biblical proportions where, somehow, almost a half-million people came together and peacefully co-existed…for three whole days! I’d like to point out that this happens everyday in Kansas City, MO, except with running water and an adequate amount of toilets. In an attempt to cash in on the anniversary, Universal Pictures is releasing Taking Woodstock, a film that chronicles the origins of this overrated historical footnote. Instead of watching this pandering nostalgia porn, I’ll be dropping acid (starting now) and watching these 5 Hippie Movies That Don’t Suck. Now, I should warn you that my landlord’s dog thinks I missed the point of most of these movies, but I think he’s just jealous because my baseball cap turned out to be rainbows. Oh God. STOP SHOUTING!  

The Aikido-master holds down the law in Parish County, New Orleans.

Hey look! A guy in a Bumblebee costume speaking Spanish.  No, not the one you're thinking of.  This is mucho, mucho mejor. [via automotto.org]

YOUTH IN REVOLT Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosI knew he had it in him.  I knew it!  FINALLY, Michael Cera stars in a movie and… plays a different character than the one he's been playing in every movie prior.  The above trailer from YOUTH IN REVOLT proves it. And not only does Cera play another character, but he plays TWO characters who interact with each other.  Look out, Hollywood!  I can see it now!  Billboards touting Cera as "the white Eddie Murphy!"  Interviews in which Cera switches dramatic personae on a dime! Pictures of Cera on PerezHilton.com with mac paint semen dripping out of his mouth!  Michael Cera, welcome to the A- List.And welcome to Screen Junkies, A-List Links below:Tiffany Selby Splashin' In The Water (Gorillamask) The Best NFL Rap Videos Of All Time (Holytaco) Five Minutes Of Heaven With Liam Neeson (Filmdrunk) Tarantino Movie Babes Collection Is Full Of Babes (Manofest) Turn Your Mac Into A Fish Tank (Walyou) Lessons From College-Themed Movies (Pajiba) Don't Travel To Places With Culture-Bound Syndromes (Cracked) Miss Universe '09 Girls In Bikinis (Coedmagazine) Police Academy's 'Motormouth' Jones Is Still Making Noise (Heeb) Jan Terri Produces Worst Music Video Ever (Sickpigs) Lindsay Lohan Looks Like Brett Michaels (Celebjihad) Pressure Point Kill Guide T-Shirt (Mademan) Caption Contest: Win Tickets To UFC 102 (Cagepotato) There's A Point When Anime Boobs Get Too Big (Unreality) She Can Hide A Hammer In Her Bra (Regretfulmorning) Stripper On A The NYC Subway (Asylum) Hooters Bikini Car Wash In The Show Me State (Bustedcoverage) Google Search Results Are Craaaaazy (Uncoached) Andrea Garcia Is Muy Caliente! (Moondogsports) The Word Of The Day Is Sh*tfaced (Atomfilms) "9" Talismans And First TV Spots (Filmofilia)

Network: MTVBlock of Shows: Nitro CircusBully BeatdownRob Dyrdek's Fantasy FactoryPranked

Ghosts, POWs, British accents, "power animals", and A SELF-DESTRUCTING WHALE. This weekend's TV Preview will coat you in blubber. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

It was announced recently that Mila Kunis would be joining Natalie Portman in Darren Arofonsky's upcoming ballet thriller Black Swan. Now it's being reported that she'll really be 'joining' her if you catch my drift. I'm talking about sex you guys.A script review from Script Shadow states:[I]n this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex…And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex.Well, that sounds nice and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade here. But this is starting to sound more and more like a direct-to-DVD Heather Graham movie. (Latino Review)Links that won't make your bathing suit area tingle… The Final Destination "Rumble" in 3-D. (Break)Bryan Singer is keeping busy. (First Showing)'Larry David vs. Plastic' in Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7 Preview. (TV Squad)Karl Urban cast as vampire badass. (Empire)Iron Man 2 pic, Sam Rockwell standing around. (/Film)

Intruder in the Senior Sorority Showers – Watch more Sorority RowHere's a NSFW clip from the film Sorority Row that offers all the things you'd expect in a horror movie shower scene.  If you enjoy bitchiness, boobies, and blood, you're going to be pleasantly satisfied.  I do have one thing to say though to the owner of the boobies in this clip: Get off your high horse, honey.  I've seen better.  Sorority Row opens wide Friday, September 11th

The Wolfman Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThe new trailer for Universal's big budget remake of The Wolf Man had to go head-to-head with James Cameron's cinematic second coming, Avatar (marvel at that film's trailer here), but some in the Twitterverse have already crowned the hirsute Benicio Del Toro vehicle today's coming attractions champ.  Judge for yourself in the clip above.  It's kinda cool seeing Del Toro donning the fur and fangs, and the man's come a long way from the speech-impeded "Fenster" in The Usual Suspects.  Rumor is fellow Suspects castmate Stephen Baldwin is in talks to play the Creature from the Black Lagoon.  He'll be at Universal Studios Hollywood on Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 12pm to close, and will make party appearances, but not in costume. Here are today's working links:   Leslie In The Shower (Gorillamask) 8 Things That Will Happen During First Week of College (Holytaco) Zemeckis Wants To Trip In A Yellow Submarine (Filmdrunk)  Large Man Vs. Folding Chair (Manofest)  Decorate Your Walls With Donkey Kong (Walyou) Vampires Who Poop? That's the Del Toro Way! (Pajiba) 5 Species Trying To Take Over The Earth (Cracked) 50 Funniest Internet Infographics (Coedmagazine) Captain Kirk And Obama Are Finally Working Together (Sickpigs) 10 Best Facebook Beatdowns (Maxim) Miley Cyrus's Best Friend Is A Slut (Celebjihad) Young Comedians You Need To Know (Mademan) Strikeforce's Fedor Strategy Asking For Trouble (Cagepotato) 15 Awesome Star Wars Demotivational Pics (Unreality) 6 Unintentionally Racist Commercials (Regretfulmorning) 5 Films That Inspired Inglourious Basterds (Asylum) Don't Give A Waitress Your Assault Rifle (Bustedcoverage) The Best People's Court Line Of All Time (Uncoached) Shaq Needs Some Magic To Save His Show (Moondogsports) Fat Bus Rider Faces Off With Newton's Law (Nothingtoxic)  The Word Of The Day Is 'Douchebag' (Atomfilms) 11 New The Wolfman Photos (Filmofilia)  

Self-mutilation, regular mutilation, prostitutes, and Chris Rock. Tonight's TV Preview's just like Jerry Seinfeld's secret party life.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

World's Greatest Dad is coming to theatres this Friday, August 21st, and Screen Junkies is giving away two signed posters (not pictured above)!  That's right, you could pin a glossy one-sheet autographed by Robin Williams and Bobcat Goldthwait up on your wall right next that "Hang In There" poster of a kitten dangling dangerously from a tree.  It'll bring some much needed prestige to your living quarters.All you have to do is tweet the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.You must have a Twitter account to enter and be following @screenjunkies.  Tweet your caption and include "@screenjunkies #WGD" in the tweet, and you'll be entered to win.Contest ends at 11:59pm on Monday, August 24th, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, August 25th, via Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like.  Do it for yourself or the respect of your disapproving father.  Just bring the funny, not the emotional baggage.  Good luck! 

Leslie In The Shower (Gorillamask)8 Things That Will Happen During First Week of College (Holytaco)Zemeckis Wants To Trip In A Yellow Submarine (Filmdrunk) Large Man Vs. Folding Chair (Manofest) Decorate Your Walls With Donkey Kong (Walyou)Vampires Who Poop? That's the Del Toro Way! (Pajiba)5 Species Trying To Take Over The Earth (Cracked)50 Funniest Internet Infographics (Coedmagazine)Captain Kirk And Obama Are Finally Working Together (Sickpigs)10 Best Facebook Beatdowns (Maxim)Miley Cyrus's Best Friend Is A Slut (Celebjihad)Young Comedians You Need To Know (Mademan)Strikeforce's Fedor Strategy Asking For Trouble (Cagepotato)15 Awesome Star Wars Demotivational Pics (Unreality)6 Unintentionally Racist Commercials (Regretfulmorning)5 Films That Inspired Inglourious Basterds (Asylum)Don't Give A Waitress Your Assault Rifle (Bustedcoverage)The Best People's Court Line Of All Time (Uncoached)Shaq Needs Some Magic To Save His Show (Moondogsports)Fat Bus Rider Faces Off With Newton's Law (Nothingtoxic) The Word Of The Day Is 'Douchebag' (Atomfilms)11 New The Wolfman Photos (Filmofilia)

Megan wants a murderer. And so do authorities. Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on VH1's hit reality show Megan Wants A Millionaire, is a person of interest in the murder investigation of his ex-wife, Jasmine Fiore. Fiore, a Playboy model, was found stuffed in a suitcase inside a L.A. dumpster on Saturday. Jenkins is believed to be on the run. Either that or he's now competing on The Amazing Race. These reality show people get around.VH1 has postponed all future airings of the series for the time-being. (NY Mag)These morning links are worth a look…New Avatar stills. (Empire)Zemeckis to live in a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine. (The Playlist)U.S. Bronson trailer is online. (Latino Review)Go Black Lightning! (Pajiba)Economic downturn forces Kids in the Hall to reunite. (TV Squad)Liev Schreiber open to a Wolverine sequel. (MTV)

Nearly a month ago on a balmy July day at San Diego Comic-Con, it was announced that August 21st, 2009 would forever be known as AVATAR Day™. What exactly is AVATAR Day™? Much like Haley's Comet, AVATAR Day™ only comes around once in a lifetime and is the day that the proud filmmaker will hold an advance-screening of 16 minutes from his epic in more than 100 IMAX 3-D theaters around the world. Fans got so excited that they crashed the film's official website in an effort to reserve tickets. With expectations so high and so many movie-goers eager to catch a glimpse of the alien world Pandora, 20th Century Fox would be wise to take safety precautions.Here's what we think a safety manual for surviving AVATAR should look like:

 The wait is almost over.  Season 4 of Adult Swim's fan-f**kin-tastic "Venture Brothers" is back for another season of action, adventure, sex, hilarity and intentional themes of epic failure around every corner. Join Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean and (maybe) Brock Landers (unless he really quit the Ventures).  If you haven't seen Team Venture in action, do yourself a favor and rent the past three seasons on DVD (Season 3 is available on Blu-Ray.  You won't regret it.  Seriously… about a hundred times more pop culture jokes than in Juno, only actually funny and somehow more credible.Here are today's IN-credible links!Jessica Canizales Doesn't Like Her Shirt On (Gorillamask) Thoughts On The Disappearing Russian Cargo Ship (Holytaco) Bootleg Avatar Trailer Exceeds Expectations (Filmdrunk) 10 Bustiest Page 3 Girls Of All time (Manofest) Brew Fresh Coffee For Two Weeks Straight (Walyou) 50 Funniest Scenes In The History Of Film (Pajiba) 27 Playboy Playmates Who Twitter (Coedmagazine)Offices And House Music Don't Mix (Sickpigs) Brett Favre's Playbook Doodles (Maxim) The Time Traveler's Awful Wife (Celebjihad) 13 Ways To Have A Threesome (Mademan) Wilks Likely For UFC 105 Against 'The Immortal" (Cagepotato) Saw VI Poster Is Weird Boxing Glove Hands (Unreality) Dissolving Bikini Offers So Many Possibilities (Asylum) Hooters Girls, Golf, And Mr. Belding (Bustedcoverage) Weird Gallery Of Creative Drinking Cans (Uncoached)2009 AFC South Preview (Moondogsports)Horses Fly When Cars Hit Them (Nothingtoxic) The Shaman At Comic-Con (Atomfilms) The Fourth Kind Trailer And Pics (Filmofilia)

Synopsis: The warped misadventures of a former boy genius turned washed-up, middle-aged mad scientist Dr. Rusty Venture; his moronic teenage sons; their maniac bodyguard; and the Doctor's arch-nemeses, incompetent super villain The Monarch and his masculine paramour, Dr. Girlfriend.  And OH SO MUCH MORE!!!Network: Cartoon Network (Adult Swim) 

A sh*t ton of kids, explosions, muscular women, a boa constrictor, and clown tears. Tonight's TV Preview is my 12th birthday all over again.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Network: BravoHosts: Padma Lakshmi, Tom ColicchioSynopsis: "Top Chef" offers a fascinating window into the competitive, pressure-filled environment of world-class cookery and the restaurant business at the highest level. The series features aspiring chefs who compete for their shot at culinary stardom and the chance to earn the prestigious title of "Top Chef."

CHUD was the first to point out that sexy model-actress Diora Baird has announced via Twitter that she has auditioned for a role in the upcoming Thor film. No one is certain which role she read for or if she'll even get the part but it's a slow news morning so conjecture like this makes headlines. Honestly. It was between this or pictures of dogs sniffing celebrities.Tee-hee! Look at 'im sniff her!!Get a whiff of these fresh-scented morning links… A Gallery of Dogs Sniffing Celebrities. (Unreality)Jon Hamm throws a Sucker Punch. (Hit Fix)The sanctity of Dirty Dancing in jeopardy. (Cinema Blend)Saw VI Poster. (Shock Til You Drop)Daniel Radcliffe swears off wizards. (Latino Review)Reporter FAIL. (TV Squad)

I don't know what's funnier: Common's awkward foray into postmodern comedy or Christopher Mintz-Plasse looking like he's about to squirt poop his tighty whities while delivering Denzel Washington's Oscar-winning "King Kong aint' got sh*t on me" speech to a bunch of legitimately street looking black dudes.  Either way, this video was worth five minutes of my time.  Then again, I run a movie and TV website. Pretty much anything is worth my time. [via CineMash]King Kong Ain't Got Sh*t on 'Deez Links! Karli Madeline Is Flossin' (Gorillamask) If Michael Vick Had A Comic Book (Holytaco) James McAvoy Diagnosed With Fictitious Cancer (Filmdrunk) Pitbull Displays Violent Love (Manofest) Bruce Lee Bobblehead Has Got The Moves (Walyou) Dr. House Wrote A Spy Thriller Novel (Pajiba) 6 Animals That Can Get You High (Cracked) The Mad Hot Women Of Mad Men (Coedmagazine) Obama Is Bipolar (Sickpigs) The Hottest College Girls In America (Maxim) Naomi Campbell May Or May Not Have A Penis (Celebjihad) Which Light Beer Makes You The Least Like A Pussy (Mademan) Randy Couture Has Nothing Else To Prove (Cagepotato) Felicia Day Spanked With Jewel Encrusted Sword (Unreality) District 9 didn't show us How to Torture an Alien Properly.  This does. (Asylum) Keeping Tabs On Favre (Bustedcoverage) The Latest In Celebrity Look-Alikes (Uncoached) Kills Sorority Sisters With A Tire Iron (Theta Pi Must Die Game) A Boxing KO That's A Real Knockout (Regretful Morning) NCAA'S Respect Weekend Could Get No Respect (Moondogsports) Stuff Hipsters HATE (Heeb Magazine) Cracking American English (Atomfilms) Fan-Made Tron Legacy Poster (Filmofilia)

Mr. Janus, Mr. T, and Mr. Kotter. Tonight's TV preview is very polite when applying monikers.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Since 1984, the fine people at the Criterion Collection have been dedicated to gathering the greatest films from around the world and publishing them in highest possible quality. But despite their valiant efforts, some important films are still missing from the collection. Luckily, some ingenious folks over at the Jinx World Forums have taken it upon themselves to create distinctive, Criterion-style box covers for those films that have been overlooked. Here are 12 of our favorites in no particular order. Our list is by no means definitive or comprehensive, so head over to Jinx World and take a look for yourselves.   Transformers Posted by Cth

By now we've all seen the official pictures of Mickey Rourke dressed as Whiplash at the racetrack in Iron Man 2. You know, the one's where he looks like a Steampunk Harvey Keitel? Well, it's believed that those are images of Whiplash in his prototype Mark I suit. Fans have been abuzz about what the Russian baddie will look like in his final armor ever since. Now the upcoming Marvel comic series IRON MAN VS. WHIPLASH may have revealed what Rourke's look will be when he squares off against Tony Stark and War Machine in the final act of the film. Here's the image from the book:Not bad. If this truly is the film's final armor, he's gone from looking like a He-Man villain to a Thundercats villain. Upgrade. (/Film)More morning news that will whip yo' ass…Kick-Ass teams up with Lionsgate. (Latino Review)James McAvoy is also With Cancer. (Empire)Nobody wants to make out with Megan Fox. (The Playlist)Clip from The Final Destination promises a grotesque death. (Dread Central)Bobcat Goldthwait works the Kinks out. (First Showing)Jon Hamm submerged on video. (NY Mag)

This has nothing to do with anything screen related other than you will watch it on a screen… at your own risk, by the way.  But not since the Teletubbies has Britain come out with filmed content as terrifying as this PSA warning of the dangers of texting while driving. [via Buzzfeed]If the sight of three teenage girls being torn apart in a horrible automotive accident that started with one harmless LOL makes you sick to your stomach… might we suggest you check out our less offensive Nazi Killing Movies feature.  Otherwise, enjoy, you sick bastard.  And remember: THE Final Destination opens in a week.Here are todays not so twisted links: Mary Alison Is Half-Naked In Various Locations (Gorillamask)'Should I Get A Divorce' Flowchart (Holytaco)Bryan Singer Takes On Battlestar (Filmdrunk)50 Sexiest Celebrity Bikini Photos (Manofest)Snake Eyes Mask And Sword Set = You're A Ninja (Walyou)When In Rome Do As Kristen Bell Does (Pajiba)5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time (Cracked)The Gorgeous Girls Of G4TV (Coedmagazine)Jesus Can Be A Friend Of Yours Too (Sickpigs)Women In Corsets Should Take Deep Breaths (Maxim)We ALMOST Got A Peak At Megan Fox's Nipple (Celebjihad)Learn The Signs Of PMS And Steer Clear (Mademan)Joe Rogan Drinks His Own Urine (Cagepotato)Top 10 Baddest Girl Posses In Cinema (Unreality)Do Your Part And Vote For The Manliest Restaurant In America (Asylum)Jay Glazer Likes To Hang With Ugly Chicks (Bustedcoverage)Run Faster At The Running Of The Bulls (Uncoached)Sex Toys That Are Guaranteed To Make You Flacid (Regretfulmorning)Watch Gina Carano Work It Out (Bachelorguy)12 Of De Niro's Best Scenes (Moondogsports)Panic On The Streets Of London (Nothingtoxic)The Puppet Rodeo Is In Town (Atomfilms)4 New 'Extract' TV Spots (Filmofilia)

Messy homes, nudity, super-strength, and a man-eating catfish. Tonight's TV preview reads like a raucous meth binge. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Just about everybody enjoys watching a goose-stepping kraut get his head blown off… Whites & blacks, Christians and Jews, liberals and conservatives; hell, even hardcore racists can find things to hate about the tenets of National Socialism (although say what you will, at least it’s an ethos).So, in honor of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, we here at Screen Junkies have complied the Top Ten Nazi Killing Movies of all time. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this list of films that are guaranteed to put those filthy Huns where they belong: in the ground.

You may remember that back in July we alerted you to RoboGeisha, the only film brave enough to broach the subject of stabbing people in the eyes with shrimp tempura. Noboru Iguchi's crazy Geishsploitation splatterfest is back with a second trailer and the awesome poster above. This movie just looks better and better all the time. Not only do the Geishas rock out to bad Paul McCartney covers but they can also continue to battle despite being sliced in two. Let's see Tony Jaa pull that off. (Dread Central) Peep the trailer and stick around for our morning links… ?????? / Robo-geisha (Trailer Two) – Watch more Funny Videos TV Host accused of killing for ratings. (Variety) Robert Downey Jr to play Lestat? (Empire) Sony rolls out plans for Spidey 5 and 6. (Cinema Blend) Hellboy talks Bubba Nosferatu. (First Showing)

LAW ABIDING CITIZEN Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Why is it that criminals always manage to kidnap or kill the family members of trained killers?  Have they not seen TAKEN? Crap, even Kevin Bacon, the "mild-mannered" executive in DEATH SENTENCE managed to get pissed enough to come back and kill off the ne'er do wells who murdered his kid.  (Okay, criminals, you get a pass on that one.  No one saw DEATH SENTENCE.)  But now we have LAW ABIDING CITIZEN, which stars Gerard Butler as a family man whose – gasp – wife and daughter are killed by criminals, and Jamie Foxx as the prosecutor who is forced into giving the bad guys a light sentence.  But here's the twist: Butler's character goes out for revenge SAW-style, and becomes the film's villain… while Foxx has to clean up the mess.  I don't know about you, but I have trouble buying Butler as someone to root against, at least based on this trailer.  Then again, I'm still waiting for Pixar to come out with their dog revenge fantasy where Dug from UP violently picks off Michael Vick and his cronies one by one after finding out Vick just got reinstated in the NFL. Here are your weekend links: Mandy Ashford Looks Good In Green (Gorillamask) Rick Pitino's Press Conference Doodles (Holytaco) Inglourious Plummers Would Be The Best Video Game Movie Ever (Filmdrunk) How To Beat A Speeding Ticket (Manofest) Boba Fett Plush Toy Most Adorable Bounty Hunter Ever (Walyou) The 5 Most Bangable Aliens Of All Time (Pajiba) How Indie Music Fans Pick Their Favorite Band (Cracked) 5 Reasons You're Not Dating Someone Smarter (Coedmagazine) Full House Alternate Intro (Sickpigs) Star Wars As Classic TV (Maxim) Larry King Is Hot (Celebjihad) Why Girls Cheat (Mademan) BJ Penn Won't Take On Diego Sanchez (Cagepotato) Funny People Cast Members Do Standup (Unreality) TV's Best Fictional Ad Agencies (Asylum) John Daly Drops Out Of PGA Championship, Releases Ballad (Bustedcoverage) Awesome Double KO's (Uncoached) The Most Awesome Rope Swing Ever (Regretfulmorning) Drink Like A Mad Man (Bachelorguy) Police Arrest Man With Gator Strapped To Back (Moondogsports) Why Did This Man Get Tased?  (Nothingtoxic) Pitch A Star Wars Fan Film To Olivia Munn (Atomfilms) More Wall Street 2 Casting News (Filmofilia)

Let's get you squared away for the weekend. Tainted meat, spoiled pets, college hijinks, plane crashes, Neil Diamond, and Lucy Liu: Vampire Hunter round out what you should be watching. I should also note that you don't want to miss the return of Battle Whale.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

In honor of the very violent District 9 [Check out our review here] we'd like to salute the films where extra-terrestrials make first contact… upside yo' head (and then you die). Below are 10 grotesque clips of the goriest instances of alien-on-Earthling violence throughout cinema.CLICK ON THE IMAGES TO VIEW THE VIDEOS  "WATER MY ASS! BRING THIS MAN SOME PEPTO BISMOL!!!" — ALIEN (1979)  JASON LEE VS. THE SH*T WEASEL — DREAMCATCHER (2003)  BILL DUKE CAUGHT IN THE CROSS HAIRS — PREDATOR (1987)