Review: ‘Death at a Funeral’
Friday, April 16 by

Death at a Funeral R, 93m., 2010Cast: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Zoe Saldana, James Marsden, Columbus Short, Regina King, Keith David, Peter Dinkaledge with Loretta Devine, Luke Wilson, Tracy Morgan…

Samuel L. Jackson & Kellan Lutz Playing ‘Deathgames’
Friday, April 16 by

"Thank you for coming to our pudding party."Continuing on his path of selecting films with terrible titles, Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Deathgames, opposite Twilight and Elm Street's Kellan Lutz.Former visual effects supervisor Jonah Loop, will make his directorial debut with the modern gladiator film. In the story, Lutz is kidnapped and forced to battle in the arena for the entertainment of online spectators. Jackson runs the games, overseeing them from his lair with the help of twin ladies "who see to his every desire." Just like Steven Seagal. If Seagal were computer-literate.(THR)

Creepy Willy Wonka ‘Lost’ Promo
Thursday, April 15 by

I don't even care that this promo for "LOST" offers zero solid information about forthcoming events, it's got a Willy Wonka voiceover that made my butt hairs stand on end. The person who suggested sampling Gene Wilder's iconic speech should get a raise and a popsicle. Or a Push Pop if a raise is out of the question.25 Best Movie Remakes of All Time (Moviefone)Transform Your Ride Into Tom Selleck (Asylum)Steven Seagal Made Jenny McCarthy Cry (PopEater)25 Insane Book Covers (HolyTaco)Robocop Is Jesus (FilmDrunk)30 Hot Girls with Ripped Abs (TotalProSports)5 Stages of Owning a Pet (Maxim)12 Most Memorable Movie Billionaires (Unreality)Mike Whitehead Charged With Three Felonies (CagePotato)Gary Busey is Obama's Top Adviser (CelebJihad)Homeless Rap Genius (Smosh)Carla Gugino Will Show Her Boobs On TV (Pajiba)The Obamourage Goes All Nude (Atom)Ways to Beat Workout Boredom (MadeMan)When NASCAR and Rap Collide (AllLeftTurns)The Friend Zone (RegretfulMorning)

Darren Aronofsky and Rachel Weisz to Make Me Cry With ‘Jackie’
Thursday, April 15 by

Darren Aronofsky and his affianced are hellbent on giving America the frownies.The hot spec script Jackie, about the immediate days following President Kennedy’s assassination, is getting the big screen treatment with Academy-Award winning actress Rachel Weisz attached to play the late first lady. Weisz’s fiancee, director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler), will direct and produce, along with his producing partner Scott Franklin and their Protozoa Pictures film company. Jackie catalogs the four days between JFK’s assassination and his burial, showing the beloved Jackie at both her most vulnerable and her most graceful. No deal is in place yet but it's expected to be soon. I can hear the manipulative music swelling and see the interspersment of actual funeral footage now. But I will not cry dammit. I will not. I just plan on thinking about something else.Thanks, Jackee. (EW)

‘Steven Seagal: Lawman’ Ordered to Hand Over Gun and Badge
Thursday, April 15 by

He always stands like this when he's proud of his jacket.So eery when life imitates art. After being forced to turn in his badge and gun in countless films, Steven Seagal has been ordered to do the same in reality TV life. The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Station has halted production indefiitely of the A&E series "Steven Seagal: Lawman."Seagal became the center of controversy earlier this week when a former executive assistant (hired via Craigslist) accused the perspirant actor of treating her like a "sex toy" for the brief time she was in his employ. She also alleged "Mr. Seagal had been keeping two young female Russian 'Attendants' on staff who were available for his sexual needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."No one knows for sure how Seagal will react to this. But now that he's working outside of the justice system, it's likely that he'll team up with DMX to target and bring down the gang of murderous Rastafarians whose oil-drilling has been killing the Alaskan wilderness, with his unique brand of justice. Deadly justice. (TMZ)

Zac Efron is a Coke Mule in ‘Snabba Cash’ Remake
Thursday, April 15 by

Best known for playing the coolest, most athletic guy in school, Zac Efron is doing what most former big men on campus do — driving a taxi and getting into cocaine. He's also making a movie about it.Efron is attached to star in and produce a remake of “Snabba cash,” the hot Swedish property that was the subject of a heavy Hollywood bidding war and has just found a home with Warner Bros.“Snabba” is based on a novel by Jens Lapidus and was a major hit in its home country. The thriller followed three interconnected storylines involving drugs and organized crime, with the main character a young financial wizard who hopes to strike it rich quickly by becoming a runner for a coke dealer.This news proves that no one can outrun their destiny. Dogs will always chase cats and child actors will always get involved with cocaine dealers. It's Pheonix's Law. (THR)

10 Films Begging For a Sequel
Thursday, April 15 by

A sequel is a tricky, tricky mistress. Some films produce a sequel when no one in the general public actually wants a sequel, like Cheaper by the Dozen, Big Mama’s House, and all those Tim Allen Christmas movies. Other films roll out a sequel years later when you never expected them to. Flicks like Tron: Legacy, Wall Street 2, and Evening Star (the Terms of Endearment sequel for all you pansies out there). And yet, there are countless other movies that really need a sequel, but never get any second installment love. I decided to toss out a few movies that need to have a second outing – and give my thoughts on plot and casting while I'm at it. Point Break

‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Teaser Poster Could Be Many Things
Thursday, April 15 by

The new teaser poster for The Sorcerer's Apprentice could be many things.It could be an image captured by an intrepid papparazzo who snuck up to a window at Nicolas Cage's house, only to find the star glaring back out at him.Two years after completing work on Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call, New Orleans, Nicolas Cage can't put down the pipe.He's borrowing jewelry from his son now.This is early concept art for his team-up with Bone Thugs n Harmony.Nicolas Cage will appear in any movie. All you have to do is ask.(via ComingSoon)

Interpreting ‘Twilight’
Wednesday, April 14 by

If those owls are made of poop then this is an accurate graphic.What the Internet sees.Chris Rock Eulogizes Tracy Morgan (Moviefone)10 Things You Should Never Say to a Call Girl (Asylum)Mel Gibson Leaving His Baby Mama (PopEater)25 Athlete Mugshots (HolyTaco)Bizarrely Metrosexual Shrek Photoshoot (FilmDrunk)8 Trippy Scenes in Non-Trippy Movies (Unreality)Just a Monkey Doing Non-Stop Pushups (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Arianny Celeste (Maxim)Chael Sonnen Weighs in on Anderson Sllva (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian Flashes Her Useless Ass (CelebJihad)Live Bomb Removed from Guy's Head (Smosh)'Green Hornet' Will Be One Giant Ball of Suck (Pajiba)How to Save Some Cash for the Tax Man (Atom)7 Signs You're the Jerk in the Room (MadeMan)Kyle Goes to Walley World (AllLeftTurns)

Michael Bay Giving Us Only ‘One Way Out’
Wednesday, April 14 by

NO RULES!!!!!!Michael Bay is about to tackle a brand new subject: reality. The director will get a strangle-hold on the action-adventure reality series "One Way Out." It's being called "a game with no rules" and apparently also a game with no solid premise, as evidenced by Bay's description:"For my first television project I wanted to do something that had never been done before, and I believe that One Way Out accomplishes that. Combining unique twists, death-defying challenges, and stunning visuals, we are reinventing the genre, showing just how far people will go when they are stripped of their bare necessities and forced to do whatever it takes to survive."The man clearly woke up from a dream and wrote that down in his bitchin' idea pad. Clear it up a bit for us, press release writer:The reality adventure series will pit ordinary people from all walks of life against each other, creating extreme competition and deep allegiances. All players have secret pasts that must be kept hidden from their fellow competitors, setting the stage for an intense game of trust and betrayal. Players will be forced to adapt to and conquer new hostile environments each week, building towards a climactic showdown where all secrets are exposed and a shocking development revealed.Nope, still sounds like a hodgepodge of adverbs and buzz words. They should just call it "Michael Bay's Reality Show!" So much reality it's f*cking unreal!Magical Elves, the production company behind the hits "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" will hold Bay's hand through the process. Then he'll break their thumbs, kill the guards, and hop on his personal helicopter, because no one tells Michael Bay how the world really works. NO ONE. (Deadline)

Review: ‘Kick-Ass’
Wednesday, April 14 by

Kick-AssR, 118m., 2010Cast: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Mortez, Christopher Mitz-Plasse, Mark Strong, and Nicolas CageDirected by Matthew VaughnScreenplay by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn based upon the Mark Millar comic Kick-Ass…

David Gordon Green to Make Biopic About ‘The Barefoot Bandit’
Wednesday, April 14 by

You may or may not know the story of Colton Harris-Moore, the teenaged burglar who has remained at large for the last two years, having stolen (and crashed) several vehicles, boats, and aircrafts in that time. He was once witnessed fleeing a burgled home in western Washington State with no shoes, leading to the nickname "the Barefoot Bandit." He's also known as "the Teen Houdini," "the Boy Who Could Fly," and "the Shoeless Asshole." (That last one was coined by me.)Taking Flight: The Hunt for a Young Outlaw is a book proposal about Harris-Moore's insane legend to which David Gordon Green and his Rough House Pictures brosefs Danny McBride and Jody Hill now own the film rights. And understandably so. Pooping outdoors. Eating garbage. Stealing pies from window sills. Constantly on the run from Ranger Smith. This kid is living the life!! (Variety)

“We’ve Got Company!” Montage
Tuesday, April 13 by

Usually in movies when someone unexpected or undesired arrives on the scene one or more characters utter the words "We've got company!!!" It doesn't happen as often as a mirror scare, but it's cliché enough for a montage.We've got links!!!'Iron Man 2' Inspired By 'Rocky III'? (Moviefone)When Twitter Drinks too Much Vodka (Asylum)Michael J. Fox Chats About New Book (PopEater)Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery Diagram (HolyTaco)Jake Gyllenhaal to Play Joe Namath (FilmDrunk)Shaq Has Gone Marbury Crazy (TotalProSports)5 Comedy Sequels That Could Work (Unreality)Gray Maynard Still Patiently Waiting His Turn (CagePotato)Tiger Woods to Sex Phil Mickelson's Wife (CelebJihad)Steven Seagal and His Dirty Secrets (Smosh)5 Awesome Monster Face-Off Movie Trailers (Pajiba)The Perfect 'Entourage' Parody (Atom)Places to Have Sex Before You Die (MadeMan)Kahne to Hendrick (AllLeftTurns)8 Sexual Acts All Men Should Conquer (RegretfulMorning)

Crying Guy Cries the Best
Tuesday, April 13 by

Best Cry Ever – Watch more Funny Videos I'm assuming this clip is from A&E's "Intervention, which is clearly a somber show, but no apology deserves this kind of reaction. Check out my mashup below. Tom Hanks Jokes with Crying Guy – Watch more Funny Videos

Joss Whedon in Final Negotiations to Direct ‘The Avengers’
Tuesday, April 13 by

I assumed the announcement that Joss Whedon was on the the shortlist to direct Marvel and Disney's big ol' Avengers movie/super-hero dogpile was an Internet hoax. But today there are reports that the King of the Nerds is in final negotiations for the job. One question though. Really?No offense to Whedon. I'm a fan. I'm sure he'll deliver. It's just that I wouldn't expect Marvel to hand their prized pig to a guy who's only directed one feature, although Serenity was really enjoyable. Then there's the fact that he'll have to cast Eliza Dushku. I don't see the fans embracing a Wasp born and raised in Worcester, Massachusetts. (Deadline)

Sarah Connor vs. Chunk
Tuesday, April 13 by

And she thought cyborgs were tough to kill…

Andrew Niccol Directing Dumbly-Titled ‘I’m.mortal’
Tuesday, April 13 by

Writer/director Andrew Niccol is returning to the world of science fiction and nerd love. The Gattaca and Lord of War director is preparing to helm I'm.mortal, from his own script. THR has the details:The story is set in the not-too-distant future where the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. The protagonist is a poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as "time keepers."It's said that this is to be the most commercial of Niccol's work. Mainly because the premise's device would allow for a hot, young cast to attract and capitalize upon the tween demographic with their hypnotic abdominal muscles.Sounds like a really interesting premise. Gattaca with shades of Logan's Run. Not a fan of the title though. I'm.mortal sounds like something a Black Eyed Pea would tattoo on his or her clavicle.

’90210′ Actress Lori Loughlin
Tuesday, April 13 by

Lori Loughlin, or better known as Aunt Becky, captured our hearts as Uncle Jesse's main squeeze on "Full House." She also appeared in Old Dogs alongside Jon Travolta recently, which I don't condone, but everyone does one for the money now and again. Like that entire cast.   A word from Laurie: "You have to make difficult choices in your life, and you just have to be happy with them."Like what I shall have for dinner tonight. Do I go with the country breaded chicken or lemon pepper fish frozen meal. Ahhhhh, decisions make me angry!These pics of Lori after the jump will calm my nerves…

Olivia Wilde to Strip in ‘Butter’
Tuesday, April 13 by

I'd rather stop writing about casting news for the satirical comedy Butter, but they keep landing hot chicks so I must oblige. Last week Ashley Greene came aboard to play a naughty schoolgirl, and now Olivia Wilde is set to play a tattooed stripper. Why is this film becoming more appealing with each passing day?If you're not already aware, the film centers on an Iowa woman (played by Jennifer Garner) who attempts to win a butter-carving title formerly held by her husband (Ty Burrell), only to be thwarted by a young black girl (Yara Ahahidi). It mirrors the themes of the 2008 Democratic primary, but with butter. If I had one gripe about that particular primary, it was that it didn't have enough butter, even with Bill Clinton there. (Movieline)

‘Star Wars Uncut’ Teaser Trailer
Tuesday, April 13 by

Star Wars Uncut: A New Hope is a fanmade tribute movie that stitches together hundreds of fifteen-second Star Wars reenactments to create one feature-length nerd orgasm. It has everything in…

Seth MacFarlane Loves His ‘Ted’
Tuesday, April 13 by

Seth MacFarlane has augmented his sure-fire formula for TV success in order to apply it to the big screen. But only slightly. MacFarlane is working out a deal to direct Ted, an R-rated comedy about a man who must choose between his girlfriend and his best friend — a talking teddy bear. "Family Guy" co-star Mila Kunis is being considered for the role of the girlfriend.MacFarlane will also loan his satin-y smooth voice to the CG-animated bear. I'm thinking it's somewhere along the lines of Snuggle, if Snuggle cursed and humped legs. Somewhere in Hollywood, Verne Troyer is cursing the advent of computer animation. (Deadline)

Tina Fey Wants Justin Bieber’s Baby Body
Monday, April 12 by

Tina Fey hosted "Saturday Night Live" this past weekend and was lucky enough to have Justin Bieber as the musical guest. So of course they put together a pedophile sketch. It's understandable that Fey would want to rub Johnson's Baby Shampoo in Bieber's hair, but she should squirt some in has mouth while she's at it. Kid's talkin' way too gangsta lately.  These links are very much of age. The Best Action Movies of the '70s (Moviefone) A Look Inside Erotic Photography (Asylum) Heidi Montag Shows Off Her F-Cups (PopEater) 5 People You Know Who Cheat On Their Taxes (HolyTaco) Mickey Rourke Method Acts With Pics of Dead Dogs (FilmDrunk) Peter Griffin Plays Modern Warfare 2 (Unreality) Brawling Season is Back for Marlins Fans (TotalProSports) Guide to Fake Military Titles (Maxim) Did Demian Maia Disrespect Anderson Silva? (CagePotato) Megan Fox Pic X-Rayed to Reveal Breasts (CelebJihad) Worst Job Applications Ever (Smosh) The Most Depressing Movie of All Time (Pajiba) Recession Song (Atom) Take the Stress Out of Tax Season (MadeMan) 10 Worst Paint Scheme Fails (AllLeftTurns)

Brandon Routh May Tag Along With ‘The Walking Dead’
Monday, April 12 by

Superman rescues mini zombie. It doesn't matter why.Since being picked up for series, casting news for Frank Darabont's television adaptation of The Walking Dead has been trickling in. We already know that Andrew Lincoln and Jon Bernthal are on-board to play Officer Rick Grimes and his partner Shane. Today there is a rumor that Brandon Routh will also join the cast in an unspecified role. This one is actually believable. Routh's career is on an uptick as of late with a recent role on "Chuck" and one in the upcoming Scott Pilgrim. But who will he play?We conducted a very scientific poll to find out which character he will most likely play.10% of people believe he will play Glenn12% of people believe he will play Billy Greene13% of people believe he will play a brand new character64% of people believe he will play Boyishly Handsome Zombie #31% of people are undecidedWe'll keep you posted as this story develops if only because that fancy polling equipment cost us a sh*t-ton. (Bloody Disgusting)

Todd Phillips Working on Top Secret, Raunchy Comedy
Monday, April 12 by

Hollywood is abuzz for Todd Phillips and Joel Silver's newly-announced Project X. Even though they don't know much about it. Here's what we do know:The title and high-concept plot are being kept secret.It will be rated hard-R.The budget is $12 million and will star a cast of college-aged complete unknowns.Phillips will produce before directing The Hangover 2. Commercial director Nima Nourizadeh is at the helmThe movie is not a remake of Matthew Broderick's 1987 cigarette-addicted monkeys drama.Why so secretive? Are they planning some kind of elaborate prank?? What is this project and why is the concept so high?? More importantly, what role will The Dan Band be shoe-horned into??????? I don't like secrets. I'll be holed up in my bunker until this mystery is solved. (Deadline)

‘Dancing With The Stars’ Contestant Nicole Scherzinger
Monday, April 12 by

Nicole Scherzinger is the Queen Pussycat of The Pussycat Dolls. She tried to go solo, but it seems she's only a success when surrounded by the rest of her pussies. A word from Nicole: "I'm a beast of a woman who loves Jeff." Now I'm a shadow of a man who hates Jeff. He always ruins everything…Check out more pics of the beast Nicole after the jump.

‘Predators’ Scribes to Draw Swords With ‘He-Man’
Monday, April 12 by

I live in NYC, so seeing a shirtless man scream to the heavens and attempt to attack a skunk with a sword is an almost daily occurrence for me. But now, the entire world can see this type of activity on the big screen. If you thought the cancellation of Grayskull meant we'd never see He-Man on the big screen, you're the stupidest stupid who ever stupided (no offense). Today, THR reports that Mike Finch and Alex Litvak (Predators) have written a Masters of the Universe treatment for Mattel and Columbia Pictures that seems to make both the studio and the toy manufacturer happy. We'll keep you posted as the project develops, but all we can really do now is get lost in a K hole and drift off to these thumping beats. He Man sings – Watch more Funny Videosvia Slack Circus

Conan O’Brien Making TBS His New Home
Monday, April 12 by

I'm taking your time slot, and that's the end of it. Conan O'Brien chooses TBS.  In a surprise move, O'Brien announced on his Twitter this morning that the cable channel will be his new home:"The good news: I'll be doing a show on TBS starting in November. The bad news: I'll be playing Rudy on the all new Cosby Show."Coco's show will air at 11PM, Monday-Thursday, the slot now occupied by "Lopez Tonight." George Lopez is acting all "mi casa, su casa" about getting the bump to midnight, having called O'Brien personally and stating, "I can think of nothing better than doing my show with Conan as my lead-in."It was thought that Conan might land at FOX this Fall, but the affiliates' shared fear of replacing profitable "Seinfeld" reruns with a floppy, red-haired gamble put a wrench in the works. Conan couldn't seem happier about the move though, stating, ""In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly."Next up, maybe blogging. Welcome to hell, Coco. (Variety)

10 Best Kids Living On The Edge Films
Monday, April 12 by

With Kick-Ass coming out this Friday, kids doing dangerous stuff is back on the screen. There was a time not too long ago when kids in films were allowed to smoke, shoot, and curse because after all that is what real raging hormonal teens do. Their stories ranged from slum dramas to precautionary tales to pure adventure stories, all of which feature some of the best performances by child actors in the history of cinema and took conservative parental guidance to the edge. Let's take a look at some of the most extreme bad-ass kids ever shown on the big screen. The Monster Squad (1987) – Living on the movie monster edge

Mickey Rourke Wants a F*ckin’ Beer
Saturday, April 10 by

Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he's essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something's lacking alcohol, it's Rourke. (FilmDrunk)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘Goodfellas’ + Douchebags
Friday, April 9 by

Johnny "Fake Tan" Spinotti wore out his welcome on the first day. Here are your weekend links.10 Best Los Angeles Movies (Moviefone)Oregon Students Rickroll the Subway (Asylum)Charlie Sheen Denies Trying to Strongarm 'Men' (PopEater)25 Sexy 90s Stars (HolyTaco)Star Wars Burlesque Show Video (FilmDrunk)8 Awesome Tarantino Movie Trailer Mashups (Unreality)There Cheerleaders Love Penis (TotalProSports)Why Men Cry (Maxim)Exclusive" Bellator XIII Post-Fight Interviews (CagePotato)Sophie Monk Goes Swimming in a Cold Pool (CelebJihad)10 Horrible Haircuts (Smosh)Steve Carell Career Assessment (Pajiba)Tiger's Transgressions (Atom)Manly Packed Lunches (MadeMan)Subway Fresh Fit 600 Odds (AllLeftTurns)