Sylvester Stallone is a film institution. The muscleman’s legend spans the globe due to the iconic characters he has popularized over the years. And at almost 63 years old, he’s amazingly jacked. Seriously, you could grate Jason Statham on those abs.Here are five movie roles tailor-made for the Silver Screen hero: THE SQUEEZERIn the dangerous world of underground massage the women are beautiful, the men are hard, and the stakes are deadly. Retired assassin Grant Lovejoy went in for what he expected to be a routine rub and tug but what he got was far more draining. Now with a small bomb planted in his urethra, Lovejoy will tear through Chinatown until he exacts vengeance on all of his enemies — all while ejaculating every seven minutes. Lovejoy always wanted a happy ending in life. Careful what you wish for.
Adam McKay and Will Ferrell have picked up a pitch from Dead Snow director Tommy Wirkola. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters picks up 15 years after the traumatic events that befell the siblings in that too-good-to-be-true Gingerbread House. "The idea is, they've grown up and they hunt witches," McKay said. No cast has been announced but I expect to see Danny McBride or Jack McBrayer in lederhosen very soon. (Hollywood Reporter) Wolverine's multiple endings spoiled. (io9) Gremlins 3? (Bloody Disgusting)Roger Rabbit 2? (/Film) Clueless 2? (Cinema Blend) Jim Jarmusch steals a dude's diary. (NY Mag)
Tonight at The Bridge Cinema in Los Angeles, the trailer for Transformers 2 was shown in IMAX before an IMAX screening of the original film. There to introduce the film was none other than Boom-tastic director Michael Bay, actor/singer Tyrese, and Shia LaBeouf. As you can see from the following video, they're all working it big time, pumping up the jam like Paramount was payin' 'em the big bucks or something. Michael Bay, Tyrese & LaBeouf Pump Up The Jam – Watch more Funny Videos No one pumps up the jam harder than Tyrese, who followed up the first showing of the sequel's trailer by telling the crowd they would be watching it again, whether they wanted to or not, even though they'd seen the trailer 100,000,000 times already from the YouTube leak that had happened about 15 hours before. Also at the screening were fans who showed up in full Transformers regalia in hopes of winning tickets to the LA premiere of Revenge of the Fallen. Here are some of those poor bastards who had to try to squeeze their giant robot asses in movie theater seats.
The audience is packed tight in the four-hundred-person comedy theater on Melrose Boulevard. Before the lights go down, drinks are clinking, and overworked waitstaff are scrambling to get plates of fried chicken fingers to their tables. One man sitting near the stage says, to no one in particular, that tonight "better be f*%$@#g funny." His girlfriend asks him to check the score on the Lakers game. It's Mo Betta' Mondays at the Hollywood Improv, a night usually sold-out, but especially packed this evening for the DVD release party of Lionsgate's Frankenhood. The cast will be performing stand-up comedy sets, and the audience wants to get to it. If you haven't yet heard of Frankenhood, think Half Baked meets Weekend At Bernie's; a stoner romp from the perspective of a few ambitious losers who end up resurrecting a Shaq-esque corpse with a car battery to play on their three man basketball team.
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Our next comic needs no introduction but we’ll give him one all the same… back from his debut review of ‘Obsessed w/ Beyoncé and That White Bitch.’ Laaaadies and Geeeeentlemeeeeen! Mr.! Tacoooo! Perkiiiiins! [Uninspired applause]
If you didn't know, it's the 25th anniversary of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You can send all of your gifts made of silver to Mirage Studios. Might I suggest this lovely pendant?Now of course, the big announcement this past week was the new live action feature film. But you don't have to wait for 2011 to get your dose of Turtle Power. On May 12, Lionsgate is releasing Season 7 of the original TMNT animated series. Season 7 includes classic episodes like, "Rust Never Sleeps," where the Turtles save the Eiffel Tower, and "Elementary, My Dear Turtles," an offbeat team-up with Sherlock Holmes in London. It's like a virtual European Turtle Travelogue. In "shell-ebration" (yes, that's trademarked) of the DVD release, the official site has posted a TMNT sound board widget…
Indy Mogul posted their new episode of 'Hollywood FX,' which takes us behind the scenes of a company called Amalgamated Dynamics. A.D.I. is a company formed by a some of Stan Winston's protegés, and they were kind enough to allow Hollywood FX a pretty damn in-depth exposé. And with that last sentence, this may be the most amount of co-opted French words with accents I've ever posted. Check out the clip after the jump which includes, as the post's title touts, glimpses at creature FX from Wolverine, Aliens… and a mind-blowing animatronic Gorilla head that will blow your mind all over your face. Bring handy-wipes for your computer monitor.
Some new behind-the-scenes footage from The Expendables popped up on the film's official production blog. It gives us a cool glimpse at Sylvester Stallone as a director. Marvel as he waves a gun around during a scene's rehearsal, while key crew members cringe for fear of having their heads blown off by a (presumably) prop gun. There's some 1st A.D. looking fellow who literally drops to the floor at one point. This reminds me of that great story about Kubrick randomly shooting off a shotgun during the filming of The Shining to keep Shelley Duvall on edge so that it bled into her performance. That's an epic win for Kubrick. But that sort of thing is probably frowned upon by SAG these days. Way to go, unionized labor. *sarcastic celebratory firing of shotgun into the air* Watch the video, which also includes a nice moment in which Stallone refers to an airplane as "sex" incarnate, after the jump.
Michael Bay and McG have been feuding these last few months over who's robot movie will rule the box office this summer. But now /film reports that McG has taken it to a new level. He wants to measure one another's ding-dongs in a public forum. Really, McG?? I expect that kind of thing from Brett Ratner but not from you. Reached for comment, Bay responded, "My boom stick is legendary. Sometimes I use it to floor the accelerator on my Hummer. Talk about horse power! BOOM!" Transformers 2 trailer leaks online and probably on John Turturro as well. (Cinematical) Steve Carrell is being blackmailed. (Cinema Blend) You will not be laughing at Marlon Wayans on purpose this time around. (Latino Review) Ridley Scott is out of ideas. (IESB)Expendables set footage. (Empire)
Thanks to twitter, we now get more updates about cinematic arcana faster than we could ever dare to dream. Danny from Totally Rad Show brought this video to the Twittersphere's attention moments earlier. It is a REAL trailer for a REAL movie from 2003 called Tiptoes, starring Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale and… well… originally when I started watching this trailer, I got about ten seconds through and, in complete jest, shot back a tweet to @DannyTRS saying 'Gary Oldman plays a convincing dwarf.' But then I kept watching the trailer and here's the thing: IT IS GARY F**KING OLDMAN AS A DWARF. The real Gary Oldman. Commissioner Gordon. Dracula. Sid Vicious. Sirius Black. That Gary Oldman. I don't know how they did the effects, but holy crap. Just watch this trailer after the jump. It'll warm your heart, but then blow your mind. Also, it starts out with a scene in which Kate Beckinsale offers to blow Matthew McConaughey, followed by some awesome rock music kicking in to intro the rest of the trailer.
What Goes Up (formerly Safety Glass), starring Hilary Duff, Olivia Thirlby, Josh Peck (the very under-watched The Wackness), Steve Coogan and Molly Shannon… has a new trailer out today. Aside from the grating voiceover that makes it sound like a straight to DVD Disney flick, I'm intrigued, thanks largely in part to the solid cast, and the weird looking girls who tell Steve Coogan that they go to class in a shed. WHAT GOES UP opens on Friday, May 29. Watch the trailer after the jump.
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When I'm not writing on ScreenJunkies, I write scripts, which means I write scripts about never. But when I used to have time to write scripts, I became avid reader of successful scribe John August's Blog. If you don't know John August, he's the dude who wrote Go, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Corpse Bride, the Frankenweenie feature, and others. I think my favorite thing he's ever written, though, is his blog. Sort of like how my favorite thing that Stephen King's ever written is his non-fiction On Writing, an exposé into the inner workings of King, the writer. Anyway, John August has really made his blog into a database of invaluable knowledge for aspiring screenwriters, and he's now started toadd what he's calling a "scriptcast," which is basically an instructional video installment. His most recent example is called "Entering a Scene," and teaches you how to make a character's entrance more engaging. More specifically, he chooses to describe a character as having a bolo tie and a walrus-like mustache." A little research will probably uncover that John August and Wilford Brimley share the same agent. Watch and learn some screenwriting after the jump, if you ever want to work in this town again.
In a breaking Variety story, 20th Century Fox has brought Oliver Stone back to direct the sequel to his 1987 Wall Street. Also, there are strong rumors that one Shia LaBeouf is also involved. Variety says: "LaBeouf is negotiating to join Michael Douglas, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Gordon Gekko in the original pic. The sequel will once again involve a young Wall Street trader, and the recent economic meltdown spurred by rampant greed and corruption will fit prominently into the plot." All the way back in October, Wall Street Fighter actually called LaBoeuf out as the potential neo-Sheen (that sounds like a leather upholstery cleaner, doesn't it?). Head on over there for more about that spot on prediction, and some other rumors about the film, pre-Stone. And if you're feeling greedy today, check out the infamous clip of one Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) preaching the me-first mantra that got us into this economic clusterf**k in the first place. Yes, I blame the shitty economy on one Michael Douglas.
Bauer, fresh from a seizure, is getting pumped with drugs to get him back to normal. He barely manages to tell Agent Walker to get an APV out on Tony Almeida, and she puts one out. Cut to Almeida, who walks up to an FBI vehicle, shoots two guys in it, and steals the whip.Bauer returns to a bit of normalcy. "Tony was working with Galvez all along."–"Are you saying that Tony killed Larry?"–"…Yes." Bauer then goes into a self agonizing rant about how it was his fault all this happened. Almeida pulls up to an undisclosed motel. Knocks, and Galvez lets him in. Galvez hands over the canister for money. But as Almeida looks into the backpack with virus box, Galvez pulls a gun. "Who's the buyer?"–"You don't want to do this." Then Almeida chucks the bag at him. A fight ensues. Alemida manages a pretty awesome kick to Galvez's teeth. And then starts suffocating him with the shower curtain, yelling "Where's the canister!"
This morning, Summit released the new official one-sheet for its upcoming military drama with explosions, The Hurt Locker. If you haven't seen the trailer, we suggest watching it here. If you have seen the trailer, check out the still images below. There's some new stuff, including a look at actor Guy Pearce, who didn't get much screen time in the trailer.
The Daily Mail reports that armed robbers recently bound and terrorized Dolph Lundgren's wife after breaking into the family's home. However they fled once they realized exactly from whom they were stealing. It is unclear if the thieves left due to fear of ice cold vengeance or due to the almost non-existant resale value of Dolph Lundgren movie memorabilia.Clues surface about Wolverine leak. I think those responsible live in a cold climate. (io9)Mr. T vs. The Nazis. Nice knowing ya, Hans. (Cinema Blend)Baxter Stockman and his Mousers might make their big screen debut. (/film) King of Auto-Tune returns to Soundwave role (UGO) Titans begin their Clash. (Latino Review)
Yep, it's a bad pun, but I made you look. The next issue of Italian Vogue has a racy spread with several photos of a very topless Eva Mendes (who they make out to have some kinda foot fetish, too). Leave it to Italian Vogue to get the scoop over their American counterparts. It's the sort of twist that really makes me want to see Italian Hitch, Italian Stuck On You and Italian We Own The Night. You couldn't drag me to Italian Ghost Rider, though. Not with all the naked Eva Mendes in the world. Check out the photos below, and while you're at it, visit some of Screenjunkies' link friends. Trailer for The Skeptic is why Inside the Actors Studio airs (FilmDrunk)Spike Lee Denies Rift With Kobe (MoondogSports)Whoopie Goldberg Talks To Dinosaurs (SickPigs)Tony Danza Is Just Way Too Cool (Manofest)Plenty Of Hustle And No Flow (Pajiba)Keira Knightley Is Hot (Filmofilia)Heidi Watney Upskirt Pics (BustedCoverage)Christa Cavelli's Spank Bank (GorillaMask)Susan Boyle Makes South Park (IAmBored)The Saddest World Record Attempts (Cracked)Zombie Marriage Counseling (DreadCentral)The Difference Between Swine Flu And A Trip To Mexico (Holytaco)Allison Stokke Is A Hottie (Uncoached)Terminators PG-13 Rating Isn't So Bad (Unreality)Alexander Desplat Scores Twilight Sequel (ThePlaylist)The Molls Show (TomOatmeal)The Hottest Movie Fighter Girlfriends (Chickipedia)Punched In The Skull (NothingToxic)
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Perez Hilton's blog posted this photo of Lana (née Larry) Wachowski, of The Matrix and Speed Racer Wachowskis, leaving Los Angeles International airport recently. It's kinda nuts just how NOT horribly wrong Larry/Lana's surgery actually has turned out. He just looks like… well… if the Wachowskis had a sister. Which Andy has now.It's a lot more convincing than the time Sylvester Stallone became Sylvia Stallone.
Sony Classics' Mike Tyson documentary simply dubbed, Tyson, opened this past Friday and had a strong per screen average of $25,890 opening day*, more than quintupling the per-screen average of its cat-fighting counterpart, Obsessed, and figuratively punching Beyoncé right in the uterus, Robin Givens-style. Our friends at Holy Taco have posted an op-ed piece from The New York Times written by Mike Tyson himself, in response to the very small number of haters who panned a film most critics are calling "turbulently candid and hypnotic." I don't remember the last time I was hypnotized by turbulence, but it's fun unpacking your adjectives in reviews. Unless you're Rex Reed, who just calls everything "incendiary," including fire. Check out the piece at Holy Taco here. And if you haven't seen the trailer, you can watch it after the jump. It's insendeeahwee. *Source: Leesmovieinfo.com
A month or so ago, movieblips posted a photo of Megan Fox on the set of Warner Bros.' adaptation of Western comic book Jonah Hex. In the photo, she was hiding her costume under a shapeless white robe. Well, now we know what was under all along, and boy oh boy, is it worth the wait.In the film, Fox plays a character named Leila, who to our knowledge is a new character created for the film version, the story of which is about the scarred bounty hunter (played by Josh Brolin), who tries to track a voodoo practitioner with plans to free the Confederate South with an army of the undead. You could wake the dead just by clicking on the thumbnail images below. Seriously, corsets are inhumane. But god do they look good. I blame Barbie.
This morning, ComingSoon.net got hold of new photos from the set of Columbia Pictures' Salt. The photos are of Angelina Jolie dressed like a very stylish bag lady or "hoboess" (or maybe hobess?) riding atop a train at presumably high speeds. In Salt, Jolie plays CIA officer Evelyn Salt, who is accused of being a Russian sleeper spy, and has to go on the run to clear her name. And according to ComingSoon.net, "Using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative, she must elude capture and protect her husband or the world's most powerful forces will erase any trace of her existence. They left out the part about Salt doing it all with only a red polka dotted handkerchief tied to the end of stick, and having to subsist on shoe leather stew and harmonica music.
Dewitt’s personal friend, Margaret Brashford, enlists the Dollhouse services as a post-mortem client seeking to uncover the secrets behind her own murder. Life After DeathMargaret Brashford rears up on her favorite horse to tell her husband to be good. Jack is sitting with his buddies, mulling over whether or not they should play tennis or drink long island iced-teas. Jack’s wife is a millionaire and has better than 30 years on him. A lot of assumptions can be made about their marriage, based on their age difference and her affluence. But Jack smiles lovingly as his wife rides off and continues to joke with his buddies. The smiles fade from their faces when Margaret’s horse returns without a rider. Topher activates Echo. When she sits up Adelle is standing there.“What’s wrong?” Echo asks.“Margaret, I am sorry to be the one to tell you: you’re dead,” Adelle replies. Apparently, Echo has been activated with Margaret’s persona.
The episode starts with that dorky guy from Hustle and Flow trying to buy some ice from Badger (who by the way is one of my favorite characters). It appears Heisenberg has cornered the market and jacked up the price. After the dorky guy assures Badger that he’s not a cop, he buys some glass…then arrests Badger. Hook up side note: Jesse got a little skin from his building manager Jane. In other news, Hank’s having a minor meltdown because Tortuga got his head blown up on that tortoise. So Walt goes over there to try to talk some sense into him. Walt tells him that “fear us the enemy” and that he should kick those responsible for the explosion right in the teeth. Once again, Jesse and Walt are short on payments from their underlings. Guess who’s short, good old Badger. They find out that Badger got busted. Badger is in an interrogation room getting hounded by that dorky guy (I refuse to imdb his name). And in busts Bob Odenkirk of Mr.
We report with great sadness that TV Land has lost one of its greats. Bea Arthur passed away quietly over the weekend at the edge of 86. Best known for her work on Maude and The Golden Girls, Arthur was an undeniable presence in American sitcoms and an unmistakable influence on popular culture. Miss Arthur, we salute you. If we weren't so lousy with ropes the flag outside of our offices would fly at half-mast today. Ghostbusters: The Game opening cinematic kinda expository (/Gamer) A Trekkie's tale (Newsweek)Natalie Portman launches online film school (MakingOf.com)Überprüfen Sie das Filmposter für Brüno! (/film)Get ready for another 30 Days of Night (MTV)
Went to a screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine tonight. I can't give a proper review or anything, as I don't want to get blacklisted from future Fox screenings for the rest of my days. But I can say that director Gavin Hood was in attendance tonight and gave a heartfelt speech prior to the film, in which he swore up and down that there were 400+ incomplete effects shots in the stolen/leaked version of the film, and that it hadn't been color timed, the score hadn't been added, and the sound design was unfinished. He also mentioned that there are two different Easter egg scenes they shot to appear after the end credits, and they will be randomly dispersed.So, a print in, say, Los Angeles may have a different Easter egg ending than a print in, say, Santa Monica. I only saw one of the two Easter eggs, and I'll just say it involves another mutant who's been rumored to be getting his own film. Here's a clue:
Amber Heard is in The Informers out in limited release today. Given it's based off of a Bret Easton Ellis novel, there's a high probability she plays a young, jaded, affluent woman who does a lot of drugs, has sex with numerous people, and is void of any redeemable qualities. Early reviews of this film seem to point out that the flick itself is as unlikable as its upper crust characters, but that Heard's nudity is an incentive to see it anyway. We haven't seen the movie as of this post, but will be doing so promptly after typing that last sentence, which is now. Have a good weekend and…Enjoy the photos of Amber after the jump.