This weekend we're certain you'll be catching Brüno at least once. (If you're not convinced of its worthiness, read Andy Rooney's review here.) There's also I Love You, Beth Cooper, which looks good and grating, other than Hayden Panettiere's involvement. But if you just feel like staying in, or you physically can't get outside because of obesity issues or allergies, we've got a cornucopia of televised delicacies for your discerning palate. And none of them are cooking shows. FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
The What: WWE Friday Night SmackDown is a professional wrestling television program for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) that is currently airing on MyNetworkTV in the United States. The show's name is also used to refer to the SmackDown brand, in which WWE employees are assigned to work and perform on that program; the other programs and brands are Raw and ECW. And that, junkies, is about the most corporate description we could borrow from wikipedia ever. The When: Fridays 8-10PM Eastern on My Network TV & WWE HDOfficial Site: http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/
There's been a lot of controversy over the look of Destro's mask in the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Fans and baby crows alike are concerned that it just won't be shiny enough. Well, you can set those worries aside. UGO received an exclusive first look at a drawing… of the toy… based off the actor… playing the role of the cartoon. And here it is: I'm confused as to why they would model him after Marcia Cross though. Look at these shiny morning headlines… Todd Phillips hires Zach Galifianakis for his next two projects. (Cinema Blend) New 9 trailer makes burlap the hottest fabric this season. (io9) The Foot Clan are back in action. (First Showing) Napoleon Dynamite wants to be the next Tyler Perry. (Variety) Eli Roth is missing Thanksgiving this year. (Cinematical)
JENNIFERS BODY SFW Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersOn Monday, we posted ShockTilYouDrop's Red Band trailer for Jennifer's Body, and today, the theatrical trailer was released online. This one's noticeably tamer and free of Diablo Cody's trademark "Diablogue" like the soon-to-be-meme, "Smells like Thai food in here. Were you guys f**king?" We're guessing if Fox had allowed a permutation of that line in thisSFW version, it would go something like, "Smells like Thai food in here. Were you guys cooking Thai food?Here are today's top links that make you feel like you do while you're smelling Thai Food:Amanda Pogrell In Scant Clothing (Gorillamask) A Brief History Of Ruined Photos And Photo Bombs (Holytaco) Ricky Gervais Makes Fun Of Ralph Fiennes (Filmdrunk) 20 Freakishly Large Animals (Manofest) A Totally Awesome R2D2 Trashcan (Walyou) Classic Trailer Appreciation: Dodgeball (Pajiba) 7 Classic Star Wars Characters That Totally Dropped The Ball (Cracked) I Guess Creepy Dudes Like Ruining Photos In Japan (Sickpigs) What To Do If You Win The Lottery (Coedmagazine) Miley Cyrus Is Trying To Get You Arrested (Celebjihad) Worst Cars For Picking Up Chicks (Mademan) A Guide To Helping You Win Money From UFC 100 (Cagepotato) What Celebrities Would Look Like If They Moved To Oklaholma (Unreality) 3 Videogame Movies Hollywood Is Going To Eff Up (Asylum) Erin Andrews Takes Ball Off Chin (Bustedcoverage) 15 Awesome Pictures Of A Very Young Beatles Group (Uncoached) Elevator Episode: "Scars" (Elevator) 5 Landmarks In The Evolution Of Animated Porn (Regretfulmorning) Grilly Goat Proves To Be Useful Grilling Accessory (Bachelorguy) Photos Of Denise Milani Never Get Old (Moondogsports)
Friday marks the release of two "major" films, and both of them star celebrities who have lusted after Milo Ventimiglia. I Love You, Beth Cooper tells the story of an unrequited high school crush. Brüno tells the story of… well, you’ve seen Borat right? It's like that, but with different accents and a lot more butt sex jokes. But here we are in the middle of July with not a single cat fight. Even Mariah Carey is playing nice with Janet Jackson! So, we went ahead and charted out the Diva War, blow by blow, to determine who'll be box office champion of the weekend! Actually, it's pretty obvious Brüno's gonna sweep the floor with Hayden's alabaster locks, but let's give each side a fair shake.Here you are, the scientific breakdown of each person’s worth (sums it up well):
Don't worry, dearest readers. we've once again combed through the listings to bring to you the bestest, mostest interestingest television viewing options for the evening. Unless, of course, you're into Samantha Who? and Grey's Anatomy. In which case, what the mother-effing eff are you doing here? Go read Holy Taco… girl.FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP…
You remember the little girl from Remember The Titans? Yes you do. Don't you sit there and lie to me. You know damn well you watched that movie and said to yourself, "That girl is gonna be hot someday." Then you said, "Is that weird of me to say that? Does that make me a pedophile?" And the answer is," Don't look now, but Chris Hansen is standing behind you."Regardless of your deviance, we can all agree that Hayden grew up from this…All the way into this very attractive and very legal woman. In honor of Miss Panettiere starring in I Love You, Beth Cooper this Friday, let's follow her career path starting with her breakout role and see how Hayden's… ahem… developed. "HEROES"
FUNNY PEOPLE Red Band Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Here we have the red-band trailer for Judd Apatow's Funny People. In this release they've taken the focus off all that cancer/dying bidness in order to focus on the jokes. And, well… honestly the stand-up in this clip is a little weak. I'm really hoping that the filmmakers are saving the best punchlines for the film itself because I really want this movie to be great. Unfortunately right now I have to agree with that humorless German at the trailer's end. Sorry. "Humorless German" is a redundant term. Check out this morning's top headlines… Megan Fox is all teeth. (Dread Central) Cameron Diaz is considering Green Hornet role. (EW) Syfy wants to bring Quantum Leap back(ula). (Pajiba) Larry King don't believe in no ghosts. (TV Squad) Season two of Dollhouse already getting the dizzick. (NY Mag)
Seems we have a hankerin' for purée de ballsack today, because this 8-minute clip from The Hurt Locker popped up on Hulu not too long ago and we couldn't resist posting it. If you haven't read our review of the film – currently in limited release – AND you enjoy verbal fellation, bone up here. The above opening scene sets the anything-goes tone but doesn't quite do the theatrical experience justice. Word to the wise, should you decide to see The Hurt Locker at the cinema, you'll need to make sure your underpants have their own pocket organizer so they can pencil in a reminder about their inevitable meeting with a Mr. Poop Fromyourbutt. He took several meetings with various pairs of undergarments in my screening.
DISTRICT 9 Official Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThe latest full-length trailer for District 9 has just debuted and to put it simply, "Gagagagooooooo!" *slaps face with both hands repeatedly, does double take with eyes wide like saucers* Arresting visuals? Check. Compelling plot? Double check! Mech suits that might rival Avatar? I'm not sacrilegious. It's like they put Signs, Iron Man, and Slumdog Millionaire into a blender but instead of setting to "Blend" they went straight to "Purée Your Balls Awesome." And now my balls are but a frothy soup. So much for having children, I guess. Is it wrong that I'm totally okay with this?HERE ARE TODAY'S LINKS THAT WILL AT LEAST JULIENNE YOUR BALLS!Rachel Mestonen Is Hot (Gorillamask) Corey Feldman's Doodles At Michael Jackson's Memorial Service (Holytaco) Apparently, There Is Going To Be A MacGruber Movie (Filmdrunk) The 50 Most Bizarre Google Earth Images (Manofest) Finally – A Battleship Drinking Game! (Walyou) Words Of Wisdom From 80s Comedies (Pajiba) 6 Badass Tricks You Can Do With Fire… That Could Kill You (Cracked) 70s-Style 2012 Trailer? Hell Yes. (Sickpigs) "We Are The World," Except Done By Japanese People (Coedmagazine) Madonna Looks Strong… Scarily Strong… (Celebjihad) 8 Signs I Might Give It Up Tonight (Mademan) Does Having A Day Job Make You A Tough Fighter? (Cagepotato) 20 Badass Video Game Cosplay Costumes (Unreality) 8 Women-Approved Tips From Pickup Bootcamp (Asylum) We Can Only Hope Charles Furbush Makes It To The Majors (Bustedcoverage) The Best Slim Jim Commercials Of All Time (Uncoached) Cuddle Parties Sound Really Cool (Regretfulmorning) Manliness Of Yesteryear: The Duel (Bachelorguy) Teenage Boy Tries To Sell Nude Photos Of His Mom… Very Weird (Moondogsports) Gangsters Knock A Dude Out, Get Their Asses Kicked (Nothingtoxic) Pick Your Favorite Star Wars Fan Film (Atomfilms) Harry Potter 6 Ticket Sales Outpace Transformers 2, Will Most Likely Be Better Film (Filmofilia)
Alright Junkies, we're halfway through the week. You did it. You're a champ. Why not reward yourself by relaxing by the soft, cathode flicker of your television whilst sipping the finest of boxed wines? We've got some pretty great suggestions for tonight but felt it necessary to point out a strange programming phenomenon that is also taking place. While combing the listings we noticed programs called "15 and Pregnant", "16 and Pregnant" and "Obese and Pregnant" are all airing at some point across three different channels. Who's getting all these teenagers and morbidly obese women pregnant? I want an APB on Tracy Morgan immediately. See what to watch after the jump…
Bruno comes out this Friday, which inevitably means that a bunch of real people are going to look very dumb to the general movie-going public that day as well. Socialite/model Brittny Gastineau is one of the many in this group. She assists Bruno in his attempt to infiltrate American television, to the expected hilarious result. While she manages to look stupid in amazingly offensive ways (you'll understand when you see the movie), she also maintains an incredibly high hotness quotient, thereby putting her lack of intelligence or social tact in the "who gives a sh*t?" category for most of the males watching her in the flick.A Word From Brittny (Via Twitter): "Doing laser hair removal at dr frank ryans office and boyy does it HURT!!! I'm such a baby"Eloquent words from Ms. Gastineau. Hopefully her insightful Tweeting will help rebuild her image after the movie… Oh, who are we kidding? She's still hot, and that's all that matters. Speaking of which, check out more smokin' photos of Brittny after the jump!
A tipster wrote in to Latino Review to report a strange publicity stunt that they witnessed over the Fourth of July weekend. New Jersey beachgoers were surprised when a black helicopter emblazoned with the GI Joe logo appeared and hovered over the water. A stunt person then dangled from a rope ladder on the bottom of the copter.That's definitely a strange way to promote your movie. I heard that further north in Paramus they actually had Storm Shadow cut some people in half. More morning news for yous… Aaron Sorkin Wrote A Facebook Script. Several people like this. (/Film) SNL's MacGruber adds Val Kilmer and Ryan Phillipe. (Cinema Blend) Tobey Maguire is at war with raccoons. (Empire) 100 Bullets adaptation may be headed to HBO. (MTV)El Superbeasto goes straight to DVD. (Cinematical)
BIG FAN Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Robert Siegel made a big splash with critics when he scripted The Wrestler and it looks like he's going to be lauded copiously once again. The trailer for his directorial debut Big Fan has hit the 'Net and it looks like an novel concept. Patton Oswalt stars as a repressed toll-booth worker who gets beat down by his NFL hero. The trailer does a good job of pulling me in. Although I don't need another place to watch an Italian family scream at one another. I get my fix of that with reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.Get Your Evening Fix Of Hot Girls, Hilarity, and Weird-Ass News With These Links: Carrie Lachance Has A Lot Of Interesting Skimpy Outfits (Gorillamask) The Oldest Bible Seems Very Familiar (Holytaco) Slumdog Millionaire Actor Moves Into A Nice Apartment (Filmdrunk) Like Beer Pong Or Not, This Video Is Amazing (Manofest) Tetris Wall Shelves: For Those Whose Walls Aren't Nerdy Enough (Walyou) The Big Fan Trailer Has Patton Oswalt Playing Serious (Pajiba) The 6 Best Movies Where People Are Hunted For Sport (Cracked) How To Not Be a Douchebag New Yorker In NYC (Coedmagazine) Michael Jackson Buried Beside His Dead Career (Celebjihad) How To Build A Kegerator (Mademan) How not to Pick Up Your Co-Worker (Man in the Box) Rampage Jackson Almost Succeeds In Impregnating Reporter (Cagepotato) Where Are They Now? The Cast Of Predator (Unreality) How To Avoid A Terrible Road Trip Experience (Asylum) Video Proof That Mets Fans Are Tools (Bustedcoverage) Chong Li From Bloodsport: Now 71, Can Still Beat You Up (Uncoached) 12 Items That Shouldn't Be Available Used On Amazon (Regretfulmorning) 5 Tips For Keeping Your Shoes Like New (Bachelorguy) Which MLB Division Leader Will Not Make The Playoffs? (Moondogsports)
Alright, it's that time of day again for us to provide a handy guide of tonight's worthwhile television offerings you need to watch. Of course, that's assuming that you're not worn out from watching Michael's all-day memorial. No pressure but if you feel so inclined to turn down "Beat It" for a few hours. We got your back. See what to watch after the jump:
By Andy Rooney, of CBS's "60 Minutes"My primary care physician has recommended that I find a way to put more exercise into my daily routine. Normally I avoid all forms of physical exertion, but seeing as I’m no spring chicken anymore I decided it might be in my best interest to take him up on his suggestion. I wouldn’t want to die and miss out on this newfangled digital television. (Sometimes it’s hard to convey sarcasm through writing. So let me just tell you last night I almost electrocuted myself walking into the HDTV my son bought me for Christmas. It thought it was a doorway to the beach and I had my metal detector in hand. Turns out I forgot to turn off the Travel Channel.)
The KNOWING & PUSH Blu-Ray Contest Has Ended. @agenttrav and @thyndman4are the winners! Please direct tweet us or hit us up at feedback_at_screenjunkies_dot_com to arrange shipment! CONGRATS!!Summit Entertainment just released two of this year's notable sci-fi flicks on DVD and Blu-Ray, and Screenjunkies has copies of both films (on Blu-Ray, of course, we're not savages). Sure, you could buy Knowing here and Push here, but since free is better than not – even with Amazon's discounts – we're giving away two copies of each film for nuttin' (and nuttin' means we pay the postage, too). Find out how to get the goods after the jump.
Today beginning at 9:30 a.m. PST, 12:30 p.m. EST Hulu will live stream Michael Jackson's Memorial Service. Stevie Wonder, Al Sharpton, Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, and John Mayer amongst others will be appearing as eulogizers. I only hope that Mayer knows this is the wrong venue to try out his stand-up material. [via The Business Insider]Morning headlines that won't cause epic gridlock… Zach Galifianakis plots his takeover of Hollywood. (Reuters) Baywatch is getting the big screen treatment. (First Showing) Lost loses its best writer. (NY Mag) Sly talks The Expendables. (Latino Review) A Christmas Carol poster is SMOKIN'! (Cinema Blend) Is Michael Jackson's ghost haunting Neverland Ranch? (Dread Central)
THE DECENT: PART 2 Trailer – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSThe Descent: Part 2 trailer has arrived online and it looks every bit as scary as the original. And, judging by the brief images in the above, the film looks to combine several elements that scare the crap out of me — dark, confined spaces, vicious man-eating creatures and the Paris Hilton sex tape. It's bound to give me nightmares so if you don't mind, I may have to sleep with your mom tonight. If you'll recall, I take two sugar cubes in my morning coffee; please have it ready. Hang on one sec… your mom's requesting two teabags for her… Oh. Wait that last bit wasn't for you.Descend Into The Lowest Common Denominator with Today's Top Web Content! Santana Rose, By Any Other Name, Would Still Be Hot (Gorillamask) What Your Tattoo Really Says About You (Holytaco) Because The World Needs A TJ Hooker Movie (Filmdrunk) Sesame Street vs. Slayer (Manofest) An Awesome Xbox 360 Laptop Mod (Walyou) The 6 Best Films From The First Half Of 2009 (Pajiba) 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life (Cracked) How To Not Make Friends At An Animal Cruelty Protest (Sickpigs) The Megan Fox Sex Soundboard (Coedmagazine) Comparing Angelina Jolie And Megan Fox (Celebjihad) 9 Mistakes You Make While Getting It On (Mademan) Fun In The Offices Of The Dudes Who Run UFC (Cagepotato) A Collection Of Pretty Awesome Celeb Casting Calls (Unreality) Roger Federer Or Tiger Woods? (Asylum) Teacher Sends Sex Tape Home With Kids, Father Objects (Bustedcoverage) The Best Bloodsport Clip That Never Aired (Uncoached) Can't Remember How Trashed You Were On The 4th? Here's a Chart To Help (Regretfulmorning) A Ceiling Fan That Plays Music Is Useful, Right? (Bachelorguy) Will Albert Pujols Get A-Rod Money In 2012? (Moondogsports)More Commentary on Twitters from the Stars done by Some Guy in a Basement (Tweet Boxx) Inept Robbers Take A Dive Out Of A Store Door (Nothingtoxic) How To Be Funny In A Post-Moonwalking And Mighty Putty World (Atomfilms) New Alice In Wonderland Images (Filmofilia)
Though it has already been released in Europe and Asia, Tony Jaa's Ong Bak 2 has yet to find an American theatrical release date. I've posted a new trailer below that shows off Jaa's ability to kick both man and beast in the face. Hopefully the Weinstein company will release it later this year. Otherwise fans should start a grassroots campaign where they send knees to Harvey Weinstein's face. [via First Showing] Warning: No other morning headline features alligator-fighting… Gory photos from The Final Destination. (DVD Forum) Tony Stark has a sweet ride. (Latino Review) Unnecessary T.J. Hooker movie in the works. (Variety) Turkish gameshow attempts to convert atheists. (Reuters)
CARRIERS Trailer #2 – Watch more Movie Trailers Hey kids! Happy 4th of July Weekend! And you know what that means… Road Trip! Yeah! Hopefully yours has less pandemics than the one above. Of course, if you encounter someone infected with something, just give everyone a slightly panicked, but friendly reminder to roll up their windows, just like Grandpa used to do when he drove through that neighborhood with "those people." Here are Your July 4th Weekend Links: Aylen Alvarez is Ga Ga Ga Good Looking (Gorilla Mask) Steal Johnny Depp's Public Enemies Style Here (Asylum) Homeland Security Prepping for Attack of Brüno Quotes (Film Drunk) 100 – count 'em – 100 SMOKING HOT U.S.A. Bikini Babes (Manofest) Iron Man-inspired Motorcycle Helmet is Bad Ass, Affordable (Walyou) NASCAR Movie Character Hall of Fame (All Left Turns) Guide to "Third Date" Movies Will Actually Help You (Pajiba) 7 Obnoxious A-holes at EVERY Concert. Ready Devil Horns (Cracked) This Sh*t Will Most Definitely Happen at Your July 4th BBQ (Holy Taco) 14 Painfully FUNNY Fireworks FAILs (Coed Mag) Jessica Simpson Goes Bra-less. GULP! (Celeb Jihad) Don "The Intimidator" Frye Makes His Nickname Stick in Public Enemies (Cage Potato) The Hunt for Gollum Fan Film is Better Than You Know, Dammit! (Unreality Mag) 25 More Patriotic Bikini Chicks (Busted Coverage) Kid FAILs at Singing National Anthem (Sick Pigs) The Four Sh*ttiest Franchises in Pro Sports (Bachelor Guy)
Though he’s played a wide variety of roles over the course of his career, and is set to play the hardboiled John Dillinger in the upcoming Public Enemies, Johnny Depp has shown himself to be an actor of idiosyncratic but undeniably odd taste in roles. Oh sure, he can do the Oscar-winning drama just as well as anybody (Finding Neverland, Donnie Brasco), but he just can’t seem to stay away from roles that send shivers down people’s spine or cause audiences to say, “WTF?” (Or for that matter make movies these days that don’t have Tim Burton’s name attached to them.)
Twitch has premiered the trailer for RoboGeisha and it's pretty much the strangest and best thing you will ever see. A lot of my friends are into dating Asian girls but I've always held out because I was afraid that they might transform into a half-woman, half-tank killing machine. This trailer only reinforces that fear. I'm just curious. Who provided that voice over? Sean Michael Costello??Morning news that won't stab your eyes with fried shrimp…Sony gears up for a Resident Evil sequel. (First Showing) View Master is now a movie. There are officially no more ideas in Hollywood. (Coming Soon) The Genesis of Arnold's Kill Lines. (Holy Taco) Nick Fury is all talk. (Latino Review) Heathers sequel still ain't happenin'. (Empire)
Well, leave it to Japanese engineers to have figured this one out. Somebody done gone and built a real life Gundam robot. And over the past couple weeks, several pics and clips of the life-size replica that actually moves have shown up. Well now, according to Aint It Cool, another team is constructing a life-size replica of GIGANTOR, the beloved Japanese animated hunk o' sentient metal that debuted in the '50s. The question now isn't if, but how many fanboys will be visiting Japan this year in hopes of being the one whose love for the robots is so strong, it brings them to actual life and in search of an overweight bespectacled introvert to be their friend… and a parents' basement… to call home.Here are today's Gundam-sized Links: Camille Holbrook Walks Through Forest, Disrobes (Gorillamask) The Guido Beach Of Yesteryear (Filmdrunk) The 10 Absolute Worst Movie Trailers Of All Time (Manofest) Very Intricate Carboard Technology Recreations. Super Cool (Walyou) 13 Of The Best Movies You've Never Seen (Pajiba) 5 Corporate Promotions That Ended In (Predictable) Disaster (Cracked) Get Drunk for the USA with "Man In The Box" (YouTube) 14 Funny Fireworks Fail Videos (Coedmagazine) R Kelly May Be In Trouble For Statutory Rape. Again. (Celebjihad) 7 Lies Romantic Comedies Told You (Mademan) Do You Really Expect People Who Fight For a Living To Be Good Sports? (Cagepotato) A Buncha Awesome Karate Kid Mashup Videos (Unreality) The Sony Walkman Turns XXX (Asylum) The Sexiest Autopsy Assistant Ever: Stevie Lynn (Bustedcoverage) Stuff That Only Happens In Pakistan, Apparently (Uncoached) The 4 Most Inept Franchises In Pro Sports (Bachelorguy) Denise Milani Can Make Walking Dogs And Picking Strawberries Hot (Moondogsports)
I'm speculating here, but one thing I can tell you guys with 100% confidence is that a trusted source of mine recently was accosted in a bar by someone who claimed to have just worked on a shoot for Ghostbusters 3 in the Windy City. Apparently the scene involved an actress being "slimed," and that was all they got out before coming to their senses about what's probably sensitive information. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I think we'll be seeing a teaser trailer of some sort for Ghostbusters 3 at this year's Comic-Con. The timing is right. There were rumors it would start shooting this Fall anyway. Come late July, don't be surprised about reports from giddy bloggers, journalists and fans recounting their experience of a brand new on-screen, live-action sliming leading into Ray Parker Jr.'s iconic '80s theme. We can dream, can't we? To hold you over until this hypothetical event, check out the trailer for Ghostbuster starring Ernie Hudson after the jump.
Director: Dunno. Supposed to be be Harold Ramis. Cast: Dunno. (But supposed to be the original cast)Synopsis: Dunno.
Camille Holbrook Walks Through Forest, Disrobes (Gorillamask) Failed Kids' Breakfast Cereal Boxes (Holytaco) The Guido Beach Of Yesteryear (Filmdrunk) The 10 Absolute Worst Movie Trailers Of All Time (Manofest) Very Intricate Carboard Technology Recreations. Super Cool (Walyou) 13 Of The Best Movies You've Never Seen (Pajiba) 5 Corporate Promotions That Ended In (Predictable) Disaster (Cracked)
As everyone is aware by now we lost both Michael Jackson and Billy Mays within days of one another this past week. The wake of this double tragedy has pointed to corellations between the two men that we would not have noticed otherwise. Take a look, if you will, at the side-by-side similarities below and let us know whether these are mere coincidence or if Michael Jackson and Billy Mays are intertwined on a cosmic level.