Parkour Movie Actually Moving Forward
Tuesday, April 27 by

Parkour, the hottest trend of the month that Casino Royale came out, is finally getting its own movie. After having been in development for three years, New Line has hired Matt Johnson to write a script about a pair of master bank robbers who excel at their take because of parkour. Because of all the rooftop banks, you see. Channing Tatum was once attached to the project but has since jumped ship.

‘Ouija’ Movie Will Half-Scare the Crap Out of You
Tuesday, April 27 by

Spirits aren't likely to reach out. While promoting A Nightmare on Elm Street, Brad Fuller has been talking up some of his other half-cooked films. For instance, what's the deal with Ouija?"‘Ouija’ isn’t really a horror movie per se, it’s definitely more of a big action-adventure movie along the lines of…I gotta be careful what I compare it to [cough-JUMANJI-cough, cough]. But you know, it’s like a big action-adventure movie. And that script…I’ve read a couple pages of it, it seems good." I have an irrational fear of Ouija boards and ghosts ever since I watched Witchboard in the late 80's. (Note: it was before the Internet existed and my best chance at seeing Tawny Kitaen nude (Note: Tawny Kitaen was once worth seeing nude.).)"There are definitely horror elements, because it’s about Ouija and what happens from an Ouija board, but it’s a much bigger film. I would call it an action-adventure with horror elements."An action-adventure with horror elements. Sounds a lot like driving through Detroit. **clumsy rimshot results in finger jammy** (BloodyDisgusting)

FOX’s ‘Panic Attack’ Will Replace Your Fears
Tuesday, April 27 by

We don't have to live in fear anymore, you guys. Fox has ordere– OH, HOLY F*CKSTICKS!!! WHAT THE POOP ARE THOSE IN THE PICTURE ABOVE????!!!!! From Variety:"Panic Attack" will be hosted by U.K.-based married psychotherapists and motivational coaches Nik and Eva Speakman."Panic" centers on a group of five participants who suffer from the same phobias. A team of therapists will help them face those fears.Through a series of challenges, the quintet will learn new ways to deal with those paralyzing fears — leading to one final, dramatic challenge. Friends and family will be brought in to watch their loved ones tackle that final test.So let me get this straight. Five people will have to live in a nightmare house haunted by life coaches with the fashion sense of a failed figure-skating duo. Talk about exposure treatment.First step is to identify your fear. Please look at the picture below and let me know what scares you the most.Next step is killing your fear with fire.

Olivia Munn Naked for PETA
Tuesday, April 27 by

Olivia Munn is sick and tired of the way Ringling Brothers is abusing their circus elephants, so she decided to take all of her clothes off in support. What does one have to do with the other? Something about nature. But who cares, Olivia is naked on a billboard at the intersection of Highland and Wilshire in Los Angeles. That's like fifteen minutes from my office. If I gaze through my Bird Watching Enthusiast brand binoculars I can see a crowd of pantless men circling her visage and chanting at this very moment. Preach  Olivia Munn :These beautiful animals are meant to roam free in nature and live wonderful, long lives. But instead, they’re chained up, electro-shocked and beat by employees of Ringling Bros all in the hopes that we, the public, will pay to see these giant majestic creatures standing on a stupid little ball.I'm totally against animal cruelty, but if Olivia really wanted my full attention she would have shown more cleavage. Seriously, her recent Maxim shoot was more revealing. So until I see pics of Olivia prancing daintily through the African outback in nothing but her birthday suit I'm going to reserve my judgement.Hehe! Look at him balance on that ball!

6 Comeback Projects for Steven Seagal
Tuesday, April 27 by

Steven Seagal has built a career laying his hands on other people. Recently this has brought controversy his way. What the man needs now is a comeback. Here are six projects that could easily put him back on top.  Law and Order: SVU (Seagal Victims Unit)

‘Ring 3D’ to Crawl Out of Screens
Tuesday, April 27 by

Just the other day on Things I Never Say Day, I was saying how badly we need a sequel to The Ring. Preferably one that is 3D and focuses on a more teen-centric angle. Well, save up your shillings for an inflated ticket price because it looks like Paramount is intending to do just that. Dream House writer David Loucka on script duties. No details yet about how the girl in the old VHS will return but one scenario has teens finding a VCR that still works. Really?Okay. Honestly, you kids today with your Jason Beavers and sexting parties. VCR's aren't that old or difficult to find. Either this film takes place in 2025 or Afghanistan. (THR)

Burt Reynolds and Judd Nelson Don’t Recommend Drugs
Monday, April 26 by

The two actors, not exactly known for their straight-edge lifestyle, watch over Dermot Mulroney like a couple of hypocritical angels condemned to the boonies. Memorable quote: "When I was in high school, if you couldn't chug-a-lug a pint of booze you were nothing." So true, Burt Reynolds. That one night with a 6-pack of Hard Lemonade earned me a ton of street cred.You too much of a pussy to click on these links?20 Sexy Mermaids (Manofest)5 Useful New Photoshop Filters (CollegeHumor)$20 Million Movie Stars are a Dying Breed (Moviefone) Erotic Masseuse Shares Her Happy Ending Technique (Asylum)Tito Ortiz Allegedly Abused Jenna Jameson (PopEater)25 Cats Vs. Invisibility (HolyTaco)Shocker: Russell Crowe Is Difficult to Work With (FilmDrunk)5 Worst De Niro Movies (Unreality)Sexy Snake Handlers (Maxim)UFC Will Release Ortiz If Charges Hold Up (CagePotato)Justin Bieber Shows Her Breasts (CelebJihad)12 Crazy Detention Slips (Smosh)Rick Astley and the Human Centipede (Pajiba)Iron Man 3 Audition (Atom)How to Get Better Sleep (MadeMan)Another Wild Weekend in Talladega (AllLeftTurns)

‘Toy Story 3′ Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear Viral Video
Monday, April 26 by

Think you can pull the wool over MY eyes, Pixar?! I knew this video for a supposed Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear was a Toy Story 3 ploy the second I hit play. Sure, it looks authentic, but if this bear really existed I would have owned the crap out of it back in 1983. It doesn't even matter that a bear with the word "hug" in its name doesn't even give hugs but instead just receives them (like a normal stuffed animal?), or that the grindhouse-esque commercial cuts off right before the bear slaughters the little girl in her sleep and then goes for the rest of the family. I simply had to have everything I saw advertised, or mother got the hose again. Check out the surprisingly well-done video after the jump. It must have taken the Pixar geniuses months to render the fuzzy tracking at the bottom of the frame.

Nicolas Cage Could Be Too Busy for ‘Ghost Rider 2′
Monday, April 26 by

"Doggarnit. People like me."It appears that Nicolas Cage's crappy sequel plate is full. It looks like the cash-strapped actor may be forced to choose between roles.  From Vulture:Insiders confirm to Vulture that Columbia is facing a ticking clock on the rights to the BBQ-skulled Marvel Comics character: Legally, if the studio isn't in production on a sequel by November 14, 2010, the franchise automatically reverts to Marvel — which means the comic company's new owner, Disney. Insiders tell us that Columbia is asking Marvel for an extension. (Asking, pleading, it's a fine line.) But time is running out. Cage has spoken about his desire to make a second Ghost Rider; the issue is whether his schedule will be free before the deadline. Disney is also hoping to get him for a third National Treasure with Jerry Bruckheimer, which could be shooting as early as this fall and would presumably earn the star a hefty paycheck. And considering Cage's well-documented money troubles, that cash may trump his deep love of comic books.A Ghost Rider without Nicolas Cage wouldn't feel like a Ghost Rider film at all. That would be like The Punisher without Thomas Jane, or The Hulk without Eric Bana, or Iron Man without Terrence Howard. I can't even imagine a world where such travesties would be allowed.

Horse Gattling Gun, Crossbow, Boom!, 11 Seconds of ‘Jonah Hex’
Monday, April 26 by

In case you can't wait for the Jonah Hex trailer dropping later this week, SyFy has 11 seconds of footage for your impatient ass. The movie has had so many different writers, directors, reshoots, and delays I can only imagine that the final product will be somewhere between tolerable and intolerable. Wait what, it features Megan Fox in a corset and gattling guns strapped to an aggravated stallion? Take my money, box office cashier! (Movieline)Check out the footage after the jump…

‘Dancing With The Stars’ Partner Cheryl Burke
Monday, April 26 by

Cheryl Burke is a two-time Emmy nominated professional dancer. As a professional dancer partner, she won the competition in the second and third seasons of "Dancing with the Stars" with celebrity dance partners Drew Lachey (February 2006) and Emmitt Smith (November 2006). She is of Filipino, Russian, and Irish descent, which makes for one bomb cocktail.  A word from Cheryl: "My greatest achievements in dancing are still to come."Come on, Cheryl. You taught Drew Lachey how to cut a rug. God has nothing left in store for you. Dancing does a body good after the jump.

Batman Live Is Coming to a Town Near You
Monday, April 26 by

"Seriously, any spare change you have. Just trying to get a bite to eat."Warner Bros. and DC Comics are developing a traveling show for the kids tentatively titled, "Batman Live." Alan Burnett, who is a veteran of "Batman: The Animated Series," will write the script which will include numerous villians, though no plot specifics have been unveiled beyond the usual "millionaire beats up the mentally-ill" framework. It's said the show may premiere in 2011 or wait to capitalize on the buzz of Christopher Nolan's third Batman film in 2012.Personally, I'm happy to see Batman "pulling a Conan" and taking his show on the road. I never approved of the way Six Flags Great Adventure replaced him with the Penguin to host The Batman Stunt Show. I'm with Batman. (THR)

Conan & Jim Carrey Sing “Superman”
Monday, April 26 by

Last night thousands of Coco fans gathered at the Gibson Amphitheater in Universal City, CA to witness the red-headed former "Tonight Show" host do whatever he wanted for a couple…

Is ‘District 10′ Filming This Fall?
Sunday, April 25 by

Break open a celebratory tin of cat food! A source at Weta has told MarketSaw that a sequel to District 9 is in pre-production and will go before cameras this October. Peter Jackson will once again produce with Neill Blomkamp back in the director's chair. There's no word yet about the plot or the title of the sequel. Though my well-placed sources (who wish to remain anonymous) tell me they may involve an Electric Boogaloo.

The Last ‘The Last Airbender’ Trailer
Saturday, April 24 by

Look, I'm in a box. The fourth and final trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender has rained down all over our faces and minds and Hush Puppies. It's quite a bit more impressive than previous trailers and that mostly has to do with the addition of dragons. Like every other movie being released in the near future, The Last Airbender is being converted to 3D so that you can enjoy all the earth, wind, and fire right up in your face. I hope they play "September" by those guys on the soundtrack. That song is always fun to stumble around to when you're drunk at a wedding. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Last Airbender blows into theaters July 2.

Photobomb Fridays: ‘Ghostbusters 2′ + Kitten
Friday, April 23 by

If Venkman's artistic expressions weren't suppressed. Here are your weekend links.Tasty Black Widow 'Iron Man 2' Clip (Moviefone) Porn Stars Get Asked Where Babies Come From (Asylum)Bret Michaels in Critical Condition (PopEater)25 Drunk Babies (HolyTaco)Vaness Hudgens as Spider-Girl? (FilmDrunk)Drew Brees Is The Madden 2010 Cover Boy (TotalProSports)The Evolution of Raquel Welch (Unreality)A Fantastic Gallery of Booty (Maxim)Dana White's Latest WEC (CagePotato)Vanessa Hudgens Takes Candid Pics (CelebJihad)35 Things Hulk Fans Need (Smosh)The Pussification of Children's Movies (Pajiba)A Restaurant with Dancing?! (Atom)Aaron's 499 Odds (AllLeftTurns)

Win Jacques d’Azure’s Place at Cannes
Friday, April 23 by

A few weeks ago we reported to you that Jacques d'Azur, the King of Cannes, went missing. Mr. d'Azur is now presumed dead, or lost forever on an island inhabited entirely by beautiful women, and the search is on to find his heir. This lucky person will fill in for Jacques at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival — an exclusive VIP trip of a lifetime worth of $10,000. You'll get the very same treatment that Jacques would have. That includes the premieres, the parties, the limos, the helicopter pads, and hobnobbing with A-List celebrities. This swanky trip is sponsored by Stella Artois 4%, so head on over to their site for complete details and to enter. You could be on a jet to the French Riviera before you know it. It's good to be the king. HURRY! CONTEST ENDS SUNDAY!

Paramount Pays Sacha Baron Cohen With Goats
Friday, April 23 by

Paramount has won the rights to Sacha Baron Cohen's next comedy film after sending goats to the actor and his reps. That's right. Goats. They also gave him $20 million against 20% of the first-dollar gross. Which means he could stand to earn.. umm…. uh…. carry the one…consult with Clippy…. uh…. a lot of money. So that helped to seal the deal too.The film will star Cohen in a dual role, playing two characters we've yet to see. One is a goat herder and the other a deposed dictator who gets stuck in America. But back to the goats. Deadline reports, "visitors to WME were greeted by a goat wandering across the 3rd floor atrium — that is, until Ari Emanuel had the goat removed after it took a dump in the hallway."No fair. Brett Ratner dumps in that hallway all the time and he's still allowed to make deals.

‘Eastbound and Down’ Heads Down Mexico Way
Friday, April 23 by

The wait is almost over. The second season of "Eastbound and Down" will officially send K F*CKING P south of the border to Mexico, where the drugs are more dangerous and nobody works past noon. Michael Pena and Ana de la Reguera join the cast while most of season one's cast sit this one out. Everyone except for Kenny's stalker Stevie Janowski, thankfully. In Season 2, hiding from his problems, Kenny finds himself in Mexico where he joins a local baseball team. Crash co-star Pena will play Kenny’s friend and owner of the baseball team he joins. De la Reguera will play Kenny’s love interest in Mexico. Because of the new setting, most of the cast members from Season 1 of the show will have little or no presence next season with the exception of Steve Little whose character Stevie Janowski will track Danny down in Mexico. Casting is underway for the role of Kenny's father.Filming begins in May, but that's just not soon enough for me. I'll scrape a chalk dash for everyday that passes without a new episode on the side of my television. Like they do in the fancier prisons. (Deadline)

Breck Eisner to Direct ‘Escape from New York’
Friday, April 23 by

Those who have always wished they could see Snake Plissken run around with the burnt-out facades of ruined Starbucks locations behind him have cause to celebrate. It's been announced that Breck Eisner is in talks to pull the let's-get-out-of-this-joint action-thriller Escape from New York, out of development hell.Breck Eisner, who directed Overtures' remake of "The Crazies," is in negotiations to helm the remake of "Escape From New York" for New Line.The remake has been a top priority for the company, which picked up the rights in March 2007, with Gerard Butler attached to star and Ken Nolan writing the script. The project then veered into development hell, losing Butler but amassing a penal colony of writers, among them Jonathan Mostow and Allan Loeb, and collecting then losing director Len Wiseman.Eisner's boarding should bring "Escape" back on track as New Line, sticking with the Loeb draft, tries to mix an origin story for anti-hero Snake Plissken and merge it with the story of the 1981 original. No word yet on when the Rock will resign himself to star with a brooding sigh. "Yeah, sure. Pass me that eye-patch."  But expect that news soon. (THR)

Iron Man Sails On The Titanic
Friday, April 23 by

First Iron Man punched Hugh Grant in the face, then danced dirty with Patrick Swayze, and now he's getting all artsy fartsy with Leonardo DiCaprio. The suits over at Paramount must be ecstatic that these mashups are making the rounds. Not that the release of Iron Man 2 needs much more hype, but it's an exec's wet dream to get a superhero franchise and James Cameron together by any means possible.

8 Bands Worthy of a 3D Concert Film
Friday, April 23 by

With the recent Hollywood push to produce and convert everything they possibly can into 3D, you gotta wonder if the major congloms are gonna work with their music departments to throw out a few more 3D gigs. To date, there have only been three such concert shows in theaters, with Hannah Montana being the only big success. Country singer Kenny Chesney releases his show to the masses this Friday, so we'll see how a cowboy fares. Fact is, “The Studio Man” has apparently forgotten that their largest and most loyal audience members are young adult males. Why can’t we score a show or two from a band that actually rocks hard (sorry U2 fans, they just don’t)? The following are eight bands/performers that, if given their own 3D theatrical film, would inspire some airborne devil-horns and bring in bank at the box office. Muse

Ridley Scott Spills ‘Alien’ Prequel Beans
Friday, April 23 by

Who is this giant, fossilized guy?Despite having had its soup pissed in time and time again, Ridley Scott has agreed to return to the Alien franchise. He gave some details about the "fresh" ideas we can expect to see in his prequel.“It’s set in 2085, about 30 years before Sigourney [Weaver's character Ellen Ripley]. It’s fundamentally about going out to find out ‘Who the hell was that Space Jockey?’ The guy who was sitting in the chair in the alien vehicle — there was a giant fellow sitting in a seat on what looked to be either a piece of technology or an astronomer’s chair. … We're hoping to have it in theaters in late 2011, or maybe the best date in 2012." Sounds as if they're taking a cue from The Thing prequel, and reverse-engineering a movie out of the crime scene found early in the first. Scott himself is aware of how badly the franchise sucks nowadays, citing AvP as "a pity" and wondering aloud how many Alien films there have been. There have been six, Ridley. And two Gladiator films. (MTV)

Infomercial Frustration Tribute
Thursday, April 22 by

You know how on infomercials there's that moment when a person just can't f*cking take the inconvenience of a mundane task anymore? Here's a whole bunch of those cut together. Click on the first link now and get the rest free!!!Two Guns are Better Than One Montage (Moviefone)Aussie Bikini Girls Vying for Top Spot (Asylum)DJ AM Makes Cameo Appearance in 'Iron Man 2' (PopEater)25 Un-Tooned Portraits (HolyTaco)Your Steven Seagal Update Rape (FilmDrunk)Adrianne Curry Playing Sci-Fi Dress-Up (Unreality)Girls in Green (Maxim)War of Words Heating Up Between UFC 113 Opponents (CagePotato)Taylor Swift Joins Dangerous Street Gang (CelebJihad)25 Kids on Leashes (Smosh)10 TV Shows You Should Be Watching (Pajiba)Horrible NFL Draft Pick (Atom)How to Have a Long Distance Relationship (MadeMan)Behold, The Daqurita Wacker (AllLeftTurns)7 People Still Recovering from Spring Break (RegretfulMorning)

‘World War Z’ Development Lumbers Forward
Thursday, April 22 by

PEW. PEW. PEW.It's been a long time since we've heard anything about the adaptation of World War Z. Max Brooks, the book's author, spoke with MTV and gave the update that we're about a month away from seeing a rewrite from Matthew Carnahan. After that point, it's up to Paramount to decide when and how awesomely it gets made.He also acknowledged that the style of the book is impossible to translate to film and commended the original script's ability to weave a cohesive narrative from the numerous, sprawling entries in the book. Until we hear more, readers are advised to prepare for the impending zombie uprising. A nice way to do so would be with this combination night table/zombie-proof bat and shield. Also effective against cat burglars.

James Cameron Plants a Tree (Buries a Body?) For Earth Day
Thursday, April 22 by

What does it take for Hollywood to start giving back? About $2.7 billion. By the time Avatar arrived on DVD and Blu Ray, 20th Century Fox took a special Earth Day initiative. James Cameron himself got his hands dirty to help plant a real tree. This tree won’t have any psychic powers, but it has some real significance to Avatar’s environmental message:Cameron, actress CCH Pounder and Fox Executives planted the first of 1,000,000 trees that will be planted in 15 different countries throughout the year. If you like, you can visit the James Cameron tree on the 20th Century Fox backlot. Just tell security I said it was aight.More story and pics after the jump…

The French Get Got in ‘Robin Hood’ Clip
Thursday, April 22 by

Pure Ridley Scott is on display in this new clip from Robin Hood. Not that the action sequence of Robin and his merry men storming a French castle isn't exciting, but Ridley must stage these battles in his sleep now. He pulls a hot oil double-whammy here by having it poured from a vat by the enemy while at the same time hung in sacks on the castle gate by the heroes. Oil vs. oil?! Things are about to get slippery, yo!

Jack Nicholson Sought For Role of Jack Nicholson in ‘LASt VEGAS’
Thursday, April 22 by

You're powerless to resist the confidence.Legendary cocksman Jack Nicholson has been offered a role in LASt VEGAS, a comedy centering around a group of elderly cooz-hounds who reunite in Las Vegas. While there, two of the friends fall for the same woman. Nicholson's potential character is the playboy of the group who has yet to resign his bachelorhood. It's being described as Grumpy Old Men meets The Hangover. Some might say that's also the perfect way to describe Rip Torn. (Vulture)

Heeeeeere’s Willy!!!
Thursday, April 22 by

All work and no snozzberries makes Willy Wonka a dull boy.

‘Project Runway’ Host Heidi Klum
Thursday, April 22 by

Heidi Klum's legal name is now Samuel because she married a Seal and gave birth to its two children. Before she mingled with singers named after aqautic life, Heidi was a SUPERmodel. In middle school, I wanted to marry her. Now after the two baby Seals, not so much. A word from Heidi: "Going blonde is like buying yourself a light bulb!"She must have said that while she was a blonde.Okay I'd still marry her. See why after the jump.