Morning News Never Tasted So Good
Wednesday, November 5 by

I was sitting in a bar last night with my girlfriend drinking Talisker and watching the  TV.  A Jewish guy named Wolf and a gay guy named Anderson were talking about how a black guy named Barack had just been elected to be leader of the free world.  Hollywod can't even write something that good.   

Terminator. The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Tuesday, November 4 by

The Sarah Connor Chronicles finds Sarah, her teenage son John, the savior of the free world, and his female protector Cameron, the most sophisticated machine from the future in a fight to change the fate of the world.

Sarah Connor Chronicles Brother Nablus
Tuesday, November 4 by

Agent Ellison should have never answered his door because maybe then he wouldn’t have had the worst day ever. He comes face to face with his clone in the form of a terminator, only then to witness Cromartie, in a sick twist of good timing, kill the terminator with a quick stab from his sword shaped hand.

Global Fresh Start Morning News
Tuesday, November 4 by

The top headline on Yahoo news this morning was “World gears up to celebrate a fresh start for America.” What this country needs is a solid seven minute montage where we all dig thorough our stuff and take anything republican and throw it in the trash. We all roll up our sleeves and just CLEAN. Now get our there and VOTE.

Entourage: “Pie”
Monday, November 3 by

Pick any old cliché about fire (trial by fire, out of the frying pan and into the fire, etc.), and you could apply it directly to Vince's situation as he rides out in a production truck to the dry, sweltering hills of his first movie set since Medellin.

Review: JCVD
Monday, November 3 by

Jean-Claude Van Damme is an international action superstar.  With a long line of classics (Bloodsport, Universal Soldier, Timecop, Death Warrant), he has solidified himself as martial arts master and the quintessential action hero.  Yet for all his tireless efforts towards the action genre,  he can't escape from being the butt of b-movie jokes.  Until now.The Plot in 13 WordsA struggling real life Jean-Claude robs a bank, wants a second chanceRecreating the "Muscles"

Review: The Haunting Of Molly Hartley
Monday, November 3 by

There are some movies that will cause your face to bleed from the constant scratching of it that goes on, simply because you do not understand what is happening, or why it is happening. Though all the key elements of a movie are there, like plot, characters, and a central conflict, the universe seems to say the movie should not exist.

Morning News Roundup
Monday, November 3 by

It was basically a non-Halloween this year. I slept most of Sunday but managed to watch Shoot Em Up. I think that if Daniel Craig’s beautiful face somehow gets mangled and they need a new Bond character, it should be Clive Owen. That just the kind of brilliant insight you're going to get around here.

A Fanboy Rants: In Defense Of Heroes
Friday, October 31 by

Welcome to a new column where we let our many entertainment aficionado readers sound off on matters of immense import. This week’s rant comes from Brendon in Seattle, WA. With the news this morning that a previously popular television show will be losing some of its top production talent due to poor ratings, I believe you will find this opinion piece to be both timely and impassioned.  Without further adieu, I give you “In Defense of Heroes.”

30 Rock Do Over
Friday, October 31 by

The season 3 opener begins with Liz strolling to work when she is pleasantly surprised to see Jack pulling up next to her in a limo.  When he is asked by Liz how he managed to get out of his government job Jack responds vaguely that he's not at liberty to say due to it's classified natu

The Office Employee Transfer
Friday, October 31 by

Dwight and Andy have another one of their epic clashes, Pam discovers that Jim’s brothers are a couple of jerks, and Michael and Holly encounter some relationship troubles as they’re cramped in the cabin of a truck with Darrrell on an eight hour drive.Why so Serious?

Morning News Roundup
Friday, October 31 by

Samuel L. Jackson and Maggie Cheung join the cast of Inglourious Bastards (/films) New Valkyrie trailer now online (Empire) Changeling writer to pen Forbidden Planet (HollywoodReporter) BBC exec resigns over Brand scandal (Variety)…

Saw School Musical
Thursday, October 30 by

Black20 has had some viral internet GOLD. They have brought us such wonders as The PG Version Of 300 and Journey At the Center of The Earth. This is a quasi mashup recut of Saw and High School Musical.

16 Bad Guys We’d Rather See Win
Thursday, October 30 by

Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning.  16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter  Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass. 15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton ChigurhTry this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly.

South Park Pandemic 2: The Startling
Thursday, October 30 by

The four kids and Craig manage to escape from the government and become stranded in the Andes mountains,  with Craig consistently giving deadpan “you-guys-suck” variety delivery, up until the point where he leaves the group and accidentally runs into a showdown with some kind of super guinea pig.I’m Done With This

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Thursday, October 30 by
Morning News Roundup
Thursday, October 30 by

  Sho'nuff! It’s Samuel L.

9 Most Bizarre Crispin Glover Moments
Wednesday, October 29 by

Crispin Glover has Craziest Moments written all over his incredibly distinctive face. He also seems like he lives his life as though everyday is Halloween. So who better to feature in this week’s list of bizarre moments? Nobody, that’s who.1. Kicking This one is a legendary appearance. All these years later it has become Youtube gold. The role of hallucinogens has still not been confirmed. But word on the street is that he might have ingested a sheet of acid in the greenroom.

Morning News Roundup
Wednesday, October 29 by

I’m sorry to startle everyone this early. But it looks like…wait, are you sitting down? You should be, because you are using a computer. Nobody stands at a computer. Maybe scientists?  Anyway, looks like Joaquin Phoenix is going to quit acting. To work on his music.  Great move buddy.

The Daily Show
Wednesday, October 29 by

Along with the her sister program Colbert Report, the Daily Show has indeed become the source of news for youngsters and fogies alike.  Always full of solid comedy and an excellent team of reporters backing Jon up, the show makes the news totally digiestible and informative.  What with the news always doing stuff, we should all be real happy that Jon and the show will be around for a

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Tuesday, October 28 by

Lycans, aka werewolves with "enhanced strength, speed and regeneration abilities", are revolting against their discriminatory vampire masters in this the third installment of the Underworld series.  It explores the origins of the age old monster rivalry between vamps and Lycans, with a vampire babe and all out rumbles to the death. 

My Own Worst Enemy
Tuesday, October 28 by

Christian Slater and his clone star in a series where one Slater is a superskilled secret agent and the other is a suburban dad.  While one clone drives his kids to work, the other dishes the lead out.  Unfortunately, the clones never appear in the same scene together, you know in one of those long lost brother sortof…What?  They're the same person?  Really?

Dear Reader: Changes Are Afoot
Tuesday, October 28 by

Times are tough. Luckily the Juggernaut that is Screenjunkies has remained relatively unaffected.  You might have noticed some interruption in content lately like missing movie reviews and TV recaps.  This was due in most part to a move from our old headquarters in Dubai to our new offices just outside of Missoula, Montana. 

Heroes ‘Eris Quod Sum’
Tuesday, October 28 by

The Petrelli family comes together in a blazing confrontation of father and sons and brothers, Sylar changes sides, Peter’s powers are still lost, and Arthur Petrelli reveal more of the intentions behind his scheming.

My Own Worst Enemy ‘Hello, Henry’
Tuesday, October 28 by

Christian Slater’s inner battle with his own self, (I’m TWO people!), continues in episode 3 as his best friend Tom starts to have problems with his wife that threaten Edward’s family’s safety, plus a double-cross South of the Border is one more thing keepin’ our hero on his toes.

Morning News Roundup: Florida Leans Left
Tuesday, October 28 by

People, we live in strange times.  Florida is leaning toward voting a black man into the oval office. The economy finally said “Oh, I got you GOOD BITCHES! Earnings? Whatever!”  And it looks like Paramount is fast tracking the new Footloose. I pray every night that they name it Footlooser. And every morning, we put the news together for you. 

South Park
Monday, October 27 by

Quite possibly the best fucking show on TV right now, if not easily the most offensive and amazingly accurate when it doles out the hits on everything from Anal Probes to Peruvian pan flute bands.  If your not a fan, your an idiot!  Or a Russian.

Morning News Roundup
Monday, October 27 by

Monday Morning. A time for reflection. A time too look back over the weekend and wonder if you made all the right moves, if you did your best keg stand and provided reliable wingman services for your bros. A time for the morning links.

13 Dead Actresses We Would Have Boned
Friday, October 24 by

Halloween is almost here. It is the time of year where we honor the memory of the dead and the things they have given us by dressing up like slutty pirates and asking our neighbors to give us snacks.

Morning News Roundup
Friday, October 24 by

Last night I had one too many Jamesons. I turned on the TV and watched about five minutes of the Chris Rock special on HBO on demand. Then I started packing up the apartment because my girlfriend and I are moving. Are you thrilled? Here’s the morning news, Junkie.