I mean, psychotic or no, the man was born to slash foreskin. And it's a good thing, cause after FINAL DESTINATION whooped his ass this past weekend, he'll need steady work for a while. You and a guest are cordially invited to attend the following: Nicky Fleites Has Sand All Over Her Areas (Gorillamask) How To Survive When Your City Catches Fire (Holytaco) How Twilight Should Have Ended (Filmdrunk) The 10 (Or 20, Really) Biggest Breasts In The World (Manofest) Tetris Sugar Game Is Sweetest Game Of All Time (Walyou) Nominate Megan Fox And Make Your Awards Irrelevant (Pajiba) 5 Amazing Inventions That Will Doom Humanity (Cracked) I Can't Stop Singing Boyz II Men (Heeb) 7 Douchiest Theme Parties (Coedmagazine) Hottest Israel Women Deserve The Holy Land (Maxim) Miley Cyrus Ass-Sex Pics Leaked (Celebjihad) 10 Of History's Unknown Badasses (Mademan) Either Jerry Millen Is Stupid, Or He Thinks You Are (Cagepotato) 15 Movies That Can Also Be Watched Backwards (Unreality) Mudflat Olympics In Germany Gets Dirty (Asylum) Playboy Really, Really, Really Wants Lohan To Pose Nude (Moondogsports) Mickey Turned To Prostitution After Marvel Joined The Team (Atomfilms)
Bad food, unexpected pregnancies, and workplace malaise. Tonight's TV Preview is just like any other day at the OBGYN. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
Of course by now you have read about Disney's purchase of Marvel for the astonishing price of $4 billion. But what does this mean exactly? Will characters in the Marvel Universe be needlessly Jonas-ized? That's doubtful (God willing). There's been some speculation that Pixar will animate a Marvel property or two. To which I say 'yes' and 'please'. But more than likely, the changes won't be too drastic. Except for the fact that Stan Lee will now be a fixture in the club scene, where he'll be seen regularly making it rain on them hoes. Blowin off stacks of cheddar… Drizzle some billz on these morning links… A nervous Fox polishes the turd that is The Fantastic Four films. (First Showing)Predator Goes Hawaiian. (io9)Writer Shakes hands with Bruckheimer. (Latino Review)VH1 takes out the trash. (NY Mag)De Mornay cast as MILF. (Empire)From an end, comes a new beginning for Supernatural. (Cinema Blend)
Director: David Bowers Cast: Nicholas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddie Highmore, Donald Sutherland, Eugene Levy Synopsis: Set in futuristic Metro City, Astro Boy is about a young robot with incredible powers created by a brilliant scientist in the image of the son he has lost. Unable to fulfill the grieving man's expectations, our hero embarks on a journey in search of acceptance, experiencing betrayal and a netherworld of robot gladiators, before he returns to save Metro City and reconcile with the father who had rejected him.
AGORA Trailer with Rachel Weisz – Watch more Movie Trailers Above is the first trailer for the new Egypt-under-the-Roman-Empire period piece, which stars Rachel Weisz as the brilliant astronomer Hypatia, who along with her disciples, fights to save the wisdom of the Ancient World during a violent religious upheaval. It looks like there's action, but whether or not Weisz will kick some holy Roman ass remains to be seen. The title bugs me. "Agora." It comes from the Greek for a marketplace. That's like naming DIE HARD "NAKATOMI PLAZA." Or UNDER SIEGE 2 "MOVING TRAIN." If they're going to just name it after the location, they could at least do something dynamic like THE TOWERING INFERNO did. Maybe call it RELIGIOUS RUMBLE AT THE ALEXANDRIA MALL. Or I'M AGORA GIT YOU SUCKA.Git deez links, SUCKA!Mindi Smith Is A One-Woman Carwash (Gorillamask)The Anatomy Of A Bikini Carwash (Holytaco)Rambo 5: Rambo Goes To Mexico (Filmdrunk)25 Amazing Man Babies (Manofest)Nintendo Rubik's Cube Is 8-Bit Fun For All (Walyou)The Best TV Robots (Pajiba)Cheap Acting Tricks That Fool The Critics (Cracked)So Many Hot Legal Schoolgirls (Coedmagazine)'09 Hometown Hotties Finalists. Rock The Vote! (Maxim) It's Not Too Soon For Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes (Celebjihad)How To Tell If She'll Be Good In Bed (Mademan)Ed Herman Is Pretty Certain His Knee Is F*cked (Cagepotato)Video Game Console Costumes Turn You Into A Tool (Unreality)Robot Striptease Teaches Us How To Feel (Asylum)Celebrities 'Hate' Vick's Return To The NFL (Moondogsports) Cop Rams Squad Car Into A Man In A Wheelchair (Nothingtoxic)The Worst Speeches Of All Time (Atomfilms)First Pics Of Ms. Kidman in 'Rabbit Hole' (Filmofilia)
Director: Alejandro Amenábar Cast: Rachel Weisz, Max Minghella, Rupert Evans Synopsis: A historical drama set in Roman Egypt, concerning a slave who turns to the rising tide of Christianity in the hopes of pursuing freedom while also falling in love with his master, the famous female philosophy professor and atheist Hypatia of Alexandria.
Bear wrestling, busty women, outlandish costumes, and tragedy. Tonight's TV Preview reads like Mickey Rourke's day planner. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
Despite the shortcomings of Halloween 2 at the box office this past weekend, Bob Weinstein has announced that Michael Myers will be back to hacking and slashing next summer will another sequel… in jaw-dropping 3-D. Weinstein noted that Rob Zombie won't be back this time around as they are going in a new direction with a director 'who has experience with horror'. Negotiations are happening now so the director could not be named. Let's start speculating. Alexander Aja or Neil Marshall would be interesting choices. Or perhaps John Carpenter would return to the franchise. Oh wait. This is a schlocky sequel that is unlikely to have anything going for it beyond it's gimmicky 3-D presentation. Better get those guys from the Saw movies. (Dread Central) Stab your brain with the knowledge contained within these links… Rambo 5!!! (/Film)Burnett and Lowry to ride again in Bad Boys 3. (First Showing)Nicolas Cage is going to get points on his license. (Empire)Seth Rogen's The Green Hornet pushes back release. (The Playlist)10 TV Shows That Should Never, Ever Be Made Into Movies. (io9)
The Men Who Stare At Goats Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosAbove is the brand new trailer for THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, the based-on-a-true-story-and-a-bestselling-book flick that stars George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, AVATAR's Stephen Lang and Kevin Spacey as U.S. Army men who are part of the military's special program for paranormal soldiers. Lang can run through walls, Spacey is a psychic, Clooney can kill livestock with his mind, and Jeff Bridges is the party dude. Party down with these weekend links: Michelle Mayden Stretches Out Her Suit (Gorillamask) Read This Flowchart Before You Bang A Fat Chick (Holytaco) Robin Williams Returns To Sucking (Filmdrunk) 15 Sexy Twitter Babes To Tweet (Manofest) USB Crunching Rocky Bolboa Goes The Distance (Walyou) Rachel Weisz Lights Up 'Agora' Trailer (Pajiba) 5 Badass Movie Characters Who Are Real People (Cracked) Piven's Mercury Poisoning Is Bullshit (Heeb) 10 Signs You Might Be A Douche (Coedmagazine) 10 Awesome Predator Tattoos (Maxim) Girls Gone Wild Guy Sucker Punches Playmate (Celebjihad) How To Sleep With Your Teacher (Mademan) Mark Kerr Has No Chance In Hell (Cagepotato) Tarantino Reviews 'There Will Be Blood' (Unreality) 7 Worst Things Guys Do In Public Restrooms (Asylum) Lou Holtz Tackles Healthcare On Hannity (Moondogsports) First Person View Of Jet Crash (Nothingtoxic) Plaxico Burress' PSA On Gun Safety (Atomfilms)
Pedophiles and giant creatures of the deep. This weekend's TV Preview is like an octopus. All hands. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
Today we have two heavyweights of horror squaring off at the box office. Rob Zombie is back with another gritty entry of his HALLOWEEN II re-imagining. And Death returns with another grisly, innards-spilling adventure in THE FINAL DESTINATION. Both of these splatter fests are vying for your vote this weekend. But which will you vote for with your hard-earned dollars? The gentleman from Haddonfield or the old lion of mortality? The race has grown pretty ugly and to help you decide, we have smears ads from both candidates. Check them out and remember to vote at the multiplex. You can be the change that you want to see in the world.. First up, Michael Myers…
The new posters for Roland Emmerich's 2012 have been released by Sony and they are almost completely over-the-top. In addition to the Christ the Redeemer statue belly-flopping on Corcovado, another features a massive tidal wave dropping the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy on the White House (I'm hoping for a third where Mayans give us the finger). This really looks like more of the same from Emmerich; a man who has made a career out of destroying landmarks. Watch your back, Liberty Bell. (/Film) These links have an 80% chance of precipitation… George Clooney Stares at Goats in new trailer. (Cinema Blend)Rob Zombie to dirty up The Blob. (Dread Central)Apatow talks Anchorman 2, doesn't say very much. (Empire)Michael Bay hires fact-checkers for James Frey story. (Cinematical)Summer Glau infiltrates Dollhouse. (Pajiba)
If INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS can toy with Hitler history, then so can YouTuber "GhostsAndAliens," whose Fuhrer-riffic mash-up of DOWNFALL features Adolph's less than indifferent reaction to the news that the general population of movie fandom was more than indifferent about the AVATAR footage shown thus far. Here are some links which, like Avatar, probably look better in 3-D: Carin Ashley And A Robe (Gorillamask) Crows: Our Future Overlords (Holytaco) Spielberg Options Book Over Crichton's Dead Body (Filmdrunk) 20 Fat People Wearing Spandex (Manofest) Finally, You Can Pinch A Loaf In The Dark (Walyou) Bad Horror Movies Will Never Go Away (Pajiba) Excuses For Owning SI Swimsuit Issue (Cracked) The 'Bear Jew' Video Game Hits Hard (Heeb) Be A Good Pot Activist (Coedmagazine) Track How Fat You're Getting, Fatty (Maxim) Miley Cyrus Rockin' Short Shorts (Celebjihad) Robocop Riding A Unicorn. 'Nough Said. (Mademan) Rumor: Kenny Florian Vs Clay Guida At UFC 106 (Cagepotato) 15 Examples Of Dumbing Down Movie Posters (Unreality) The Manliest Restaurant In America Has Been Found! (Asylum) Titans Cheerleaders Bikini Runway Show (Bustedcoverage) Vols Ed Orgeron Will Sign FL Prep Football Talent (Moondogsports) Man Crashes His Nifty Scooter (Nothingtoxic) Cool 'The Final Destination' Poster (Filmofilia)
Werewolves, a Coen Bros classic, and MTV's Guy Block. The 15 year-old me is LOVING tonight's TV Preview (as is the modern-day me). CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
CHUD has alerted us to a video that may or may not be viral marketing for Cloverfield 2. For the most part, everyone is leaning toward not. As far as anyone knows, Matt Reeves is the intended director and he's got his hands full currently with his adaptation of Let The Right One In. So if this isn't a viral tease from the studio it must be fan-made. Which is notable considering the film came out over two years ago to mixed reviews. Yet some piece of it must have stayed with all of us because here we are speculating. Check out the video below.Wait a second… the voice in this video is clearly speaking Japanese. And we see a tricerotops fountain intercut with seemingly-unconnected flashes of a baby and what could be a giant monster. It all makes sense now. This is obviously a Japanese advertisement for soap. Stranger ads have come out of that country in the past. These links would never tease you… International poster for Jennifer's Body makes fine use of airbrush (Latino Review) Armored trailer lookin' good (Empire) New Avatars revealed (Cinematical) 'Rampage' Jackson will take no pity on fools. (MTV) Jet Li tired of sucking (Cinema Blend) Heathers: The TV Show (/Film)
Reckless driving, incarceration, bad food, tattoos, and strippers. Tonight's TV Preview echoes a weekend in Vegas. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
Lauren Jones And A Pink Bikini (Gorillamask)7 People Who Will Be In Your English 101 Class (Holytaco)Soul Train: The Movie: Electric Boogaloo (Filmdrunk)25 Sexiest Celebrity Cowgirl Photos (Manofest)Rubik's Cube For The Blind (Walyou)The Five Scariest Movie Clowns (Pajiba)15 Most Baffling Boasts In The Rap Game (Cracked)
By Robert Pattinson* When it comes to celebrities speaking out on political issues, many think we should simply shut up and act. However, I feel it is more important to be true to myself than to satisfy any preconceived notation of what a celebrity can and cannot say. So today I speak to you not as Twilight’s Robert Pattinson, the actor adored by millions of teen and pre-teen girls alike. Instead, I speak to you as Robert Pattinson, an individual who can no longer remain silent while a terrible injustice goes unchallenged from New York to New Zealand. Of course, I’m talking about so-called “statutory rape” laws. Governments continue to enforce these draconian mandates from a bygone, puritanical era, and I for one think it’s high time we put a stop to it.
Chihuanhas. That's right, Chihuanhas is an actual movie that's headed into production. The film's concept combines the two most vicious creatures on the planet; the Chihuaha and the pirahna, of course, and unleashes them on unsuspecting campers. Sounds like it could be fun. And I want one as a pet (as long as they don't eat the cat or jump up on the couch). (Dread Central) Nibble on these morning link vittles… Black Dynamite rolling through your town this fall. (First Showing)Should LOST swap out its writers? (io9)Ericson Core goes to The Xander Zone with xXx 3 (Empire)Final Astro Boy poster (Cinema Blend)Spike Jonze: The First 80 Years (/Film)Second season of Dollhouse aims to be good (TV Squad)
ZOMBIELAND International Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers A lot of times, the international trailers for films end up being a lot more compelling than their North American counterparts. Take this new ZOMBIELAND trailer, for instance. More laughs. More clever kills. More of an indication as to what the movie's about. It's no wonder our kids are failing on international standardized tests when they're being subjected to inferior movie trailers. So after you fix the economy, healthcare and our educational system from the ground up, President Obama, maybe you could find a little time in your "busy" schedule to sit down with the trailer editors' union and figure things out. I believe the trailers are the fuuuuutuuuuuuure… And I believe these links are worthy of your eyeballs: Trisha Maree Has A Subpar Bathing Suit (Gorillamask) 6 Cash For Clunkers Spin-Offs (Holytaco) Landis And Pegg And Dead People (Filmdrunk) Ten Greatest Talk Show Fights Of All Time (Manofest) Hamburger Cushions Are Not Edible (Walyou) Shutter Island Gets Pushed Around (Pajiba) 6 Most Horrific Bosses Of All Time (Cracked) Top 20 Sexiest SI Cheerleaders (Coedmagazine) The Strapping Men Of The Rhine (Heeb) Risque '80s Scenes Are Soooo Fly (Maxim) Demi Lovato Is Almost Not Underage (Celebjihad) Snuggie Sutra: Screw In A Snuggie And Stay Warm (Mademan) No Justice In CA For Evangelista (Cagepotato) DDR Really Pisses This Kid Off (Unreality) What To Do When Your GF Queefs (Regretfulmorning) Slimmer Playstation For Fatter Gamers (Asylum) Gunshots Fired At Fantasy Football Party (Bustedcoverage) Jessica Biel Causes Malware (Moondogsports) Man In The Box and Hot Foreign Co-Worker (Youtube) Double-Obama Handles A Terrorist Interrogation (Atomfilms) David Fincher's 'The Social Network' In Works (Filmofilia)
Sadomasochism, a dead moon, spawn, super smart horses, and Mark Wahlberg. Tonight's TV Preview contains plot elements from the next Stephen Sommers movie. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!
We're entering the dog days of summer and that means one thing, horror movie season is about to begin. Between now and late October we'll see a slew of horror flicks all featuring sweet young ladies alone in the dark.Here's a look at twelve actresses that we think have promising futures as Scream Queens… and a survey after that to determine who you guys think will rule the kingdom of horror for years to come.
We're entering the dog days of summer and that means one thing, horror movie season is about to begin. Between now and late October we'll see a slew of horror flicks all featuring sweet young ladies alone in the dark. Here's a look at twelve actresses that we think have promising futures as Scream Queens… and a survey after that to determine who you guys think will rule the kingdom of horror for years to come.
At any given time Twentieth Century Fox has at least four X-Men movies in development. As of right now they are working on a Wolverine sequel, a Deadpool spin-off, How The Blob Got His Groove Back, Yo, Juggernaut!, X-Men: First Class, and the long-rumored X-Men Origins: Magneto. Now MTV caught up with David Goyer and he mentioned that things may be moving forward with the tale of a young Magneto. He also noted that the studio is interested in bringing more Origins to the screen. This doesn't sit well with me for fear of X over-exposure. Why must Fox run everything into the ground? My only requests are that they are careful when choosing directors and no matter what, no matter how tempting it may be. Do not cast any more Black Eyed Peas.These links won't funk with your heart… Hancock 2: Hancockier. (Empire)Mila Kunis dashes our hopes and dreams. (Cinema Blend)Behind the scenes footage of The Final Destination. (Dread Central)Steven Seagal: Lawman being sued already. (Reuters)Patton Oswalt talks Big Fan. (Latino Review)The Making of The Goonies. (/Film)
The new teaser trailer for INCEPTION, Christopher Nolan's follow-up to THE DARK KNIGHT, has hit the 'nets today after playing in front of INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (for some of us). Being that it's a teaser and all, we don't get much in the ways of plot, but we do get to see how Nolan's toying with gravity and balance, which is the same thing that a giant bowl of unfiltered sake on a Friday night in L.A.'s Koreatown will toy with as well. But only one of these things will end with a karaoke rendition of Sisqo's "The Thong Song." Had Brett Ratner directed INCEPTION, things might be different. Watch the trailer after the jump. But in the meantime, enjoy 'deeeeeeeez liiiiiinks: Ashley Gets Down Lowe (and half naked) (Gorillamask) How Ghetto Is Your City? A do-it-yourself formula! (Holytaco) Bioshock Gets New Director (Filmdrunk) 10 Hottest Celeb Side boobs (Manofest) Steampunk Xbox 360 Mod Offers Vintage Finish (Walyou) Who Wants Another X-Files Movie? Not Me (Pajiba) 6 Bullshit Facts About Psychology (Cracked) 60 Scrum-tious Rugby Cheerleaders (Coedmagazine) The Fat Albert Prison Rape Episode (Maxim) Dark Knight Behind The Scenes Exclusive (Celebjihad) Write Your Special Lady A Love Song (Mademan) From Writer To Fighter (Cagepotato) From Movies To Paperback Books (Unreality) Beer Shotgum Attempt Ends In Vomit (Regretfulmorning) Clash Over The Flick 'Commando' Gets Heated (Asylum) D-Cups And Sports Events Don't Mix (Bustedcoverage) Nebraska Themed Hot Huskers In Hot Water (Moondogsports) Two Families Pick E.R. For Convenient Fight (Nothingtoxic) Filthy Fairies And Musical Mayhem (Atomfilms) Alba And Segal Are Finally Together In 'Machete' (Filmofilia)
Director: Christopher NolanCast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Tom Hardy, Ken WatanabeSynopsis: A contemporary sci-fi actioner set within the architecture of the mind.
Petty crime, murder, woman's underwear, an unbelievable investigation, and ninjas. Tonight's TV Preview reads like the final hours of David Carradine. CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!
This year marks the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, and the self-absorbed Baby Boomer nostalgia surrounding this “milestone” is enough to make the ghost of John Bonham vomit. To hear it described now, Woodstock was an event of biblical proportions where, somehow, almost a half-million people came together and peacefully co-existed…for three whole days! I’d like to point out that this happens everyday in Kansas City, MO, except with running water and an adequate amount of toilets. In an attempt to cash in on the anniversary, Universal Pictures is releasing Taking Woodstock, a film that chronicles the origins of this overrated historical footnote. Instead of watching this pandering nostalgia porn, I’ll be dropping acid (starting now) and watching these 5 Hippie Movies That Don’t Suck. Now, I should warn you that my landlord’s dog thinks I missed the point of most of these movies, but I think he’s just jealous because my baseball cap turned out to be rainbows. Oh God. STOP SHOUTING!
The Aikido-master holds down the law in Parish County, New Orleans.