Time for his 3pm apple sauce.Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of Godsmack warming up their instruments. What could possibly have the ridiculously goateed rockers half-heartedly tuning and making that "jukka jukka jukka" noise? The return of Vin Diesel as Xander Cage, that's what.Of course, that's all old news. Today we have an extreme update. All the die-hard Xander fans who ripped their neck tatts off in solidarity, should be prepared to sew them back on. Not only will director Rob Cohen return to the franchise but he'll be bringing James Cameron's fancy 3D cameras with him. Probably uses a pretty cool truck to carry them too."I feel what we did in the beginning of the decade was bring a different attitude to the action movie and a different kind of hero. With the new 3D instrument and the techniques I can apply, we can create a different kind of cutting-edge experience in 3D by shooting it that way from the beginning the way James Cameron did 'Avatar.' This won't be fantasy characters, it takes place on Earth in real time. That's a new dimension to be explored, and I'm excited."That's right earthlings. You're about to be groin-punched in the face by a non-fantasy character that can surf on speeding missiles. You have until late 2011 to vacate the planet. (ComingSoon)
Their recent strokes have only made them funnier. Harlold & Kumar creators Hayden Schlossberg and Jon Kurwitz are moving from hamburgers to baked goods. The duo is mounting American Pie 4 as both writers and directors. That leaves directing duties on A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas to newcomer Todd Strauss Schulson.The story for the latest Pie sequel is being kept under wraps, though I'm sure embarrassment, bizarre sexual fetishes, and Jim's Dad will remain major components. None of the original cast has officially signed on yet, but extreme interest has been voiced. You don't say? Should I go with a Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth, or Natasha Lyonne joke here… You know what, I'm gonna let it be. I'm sure the fact that the band camp girl is more prosperous than any of them is shameful enough. (THR)
Ryan Reynolds is going to die. It's a fact of life that we all need to be prepared for. I feel like you're at an age where you're mature enough to handle that news. I'm talking about in the movies only of course. The real Ryan Reynolds will never die. He will be around forever. You hear me God?Producer Neal Moritz announced that Reynolds will follow Change-Up with a starring role in the upcoming adaptation of the graphic novel R.I.P.D.. In the film, he will play a recently-deceased cop who joins the Rest In Peace Department – which is the police department for the dead, naturally. Reynold's dead partner in the buddy cop film is described as a gunslinger who's been dead for hundreds of years. I take that to mean he wasn't that good of a gunslinger. (Collider)
Clash of the TitansPG-13, 118m., 2010Cast: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelson, Jason Fleming with Ralph Fiennes and Liam NeesonDirected by Louis LeterrierScreenplay by Travis Becham, Phillip Hay, and Max…
Mark Pellegrino, the guy who plays Jacob on LOST and who dunked Richard's head in the ocean last week, is also the thug from The Big Lebowski who dunks The Dude's head in his own toilet. Someone put those scenes together in video form. (WarmingGlow) "Where're the links, Lebowski?!" David Fincher Inks Deal for 'Dragon Tattoo' (Moviefone) Girl Plays Xbox in a Thong (Asylum) Gabourey Sidibe Hosting SNL (PopEater) 25 Cute Babies and Kitties (HolyTaco) 11 Pointless Uses of Modern Technology (Uproxx) 8 Most Absurd Schwarzenegger Videos (Unreality) 18 Demoralized Animals Wearing Bunny Ears (Maxim) 5 Pranks Not to Pull on Your Girlfriend (Smosh) Megan Fox Sexily Kills a Cat (CelebJihad) Rich Attonito's Guest Blog (CagePotato) Pajiba April Fool's (Pajiba) Sex Offender Shuffle (Atom) Dream Job: Bomb Squad (MadeMan) What do NASCAR Crews do During the Week? (AllLeftTurns) The 7 Different Kinds of Hot (RegretfulMorning)
Anna Paquin has shocked the world with the announcement that she is bi-sexual. Pictures please! Umm, only because I'm not sure that I believe her. So I'm going to need to see those pictures. Pictures that I can keep for a while. And video. None of that grainy, night-cam bullsh*t either. From E!: Well, we didn’t see this one coming. Anna Paquin has made a surprise—and we’re guessing welcome—declaration of her sexuality. “I’m bisexual,” the engaged "True Blood" star announces in a new PSA for the Give a Damn campaign, a project started by Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, fighting for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality. You may remember Rosie O'Donnell coming out in a similiar manner with her Give a Ham campaign. Oh, whatever you guys. It was this or write some trite speculation about The Avengers. Watch Anna's PSA after the jump.
Since the start of NBC TV’s fall season we have been treated to the hilarious and at times very cynical life of the Greendale Community College student in the aptly titled show “Community.” From the oddball university reject scholar to the burnt out faculty and scheming administration, the show never fails to deliver the wacky world of affordable education. For the past 5 years of my post-high school life this is a world I’ve know far too well, with my main thought being what can I do to get a C grade around here.Let us now do a comparison of the characters we watch on TV’s “Community” and what we would see on a real community college campus, a place where anyone with $26 dollars (the cost per academic unit in California) in their pocket can claim to have some college experience.
Last we heard, Darren Aronofsky had decided to walk from the troubled Robocop remake due to his unwillingness to present the film in gimmicky 3D. It appears that he and the cash-strapped MGM have worked something out and he's ready to create the future of law enforcement according to our source. An insider at Digital Dimension has confirmed their company has been conducting visual effects tests and have received a great deal of feedback from Aronofsky. Word is that he "just loves the stuff." Our tipster also made mention that Sam Worthington is very likely to fill the role of Officer Murphy. It's his role to lose from what we've been told. Of course, Worthington's schedule is jam-packed with the adaptations of Dan Dare and The Last Days of American Crime and there's no official word when Robocop will ramp up. Though it is expected that Aronofsky is deciding between that or Serena with hot mom Angelina Jolie as his next project. We'll keep you posted. We realize this news sounds dodgy so to sweeten the pot we have an EXCLUSIVE look at early composite from Digital Dimension AFTER THE JUMP…
Al Bundy always knew how to have a good time at the optometrist. (IWatchStuff) These links look better with silly glasses on. The Real Overlook Hotel from 'The Shining' (Moviefone) The Smartest Milk Jug Ever (Asylum) Joseph Gordon-Levitt Wants to Work With Cats (PopEater) 25 Terrifying Easter Bunnies (HolyTaco) Steven Spielberg is Paranoid (FilmDrunk) Ninetendo Car Engine Mod (Unreality) Sexy Aerobics Girl (TotalProSports) Easter Eye Candy (Maxim) Val Kilmer with Laser Eyes! (Smosh) Blake Lively Gets Spanked (CelebJihad) UFC Fight Night Results: The Prelims (CagePotato) Roland Emmerich Tackles Shakespeare (Pajiba) Just Some Dude in Panties Partying (Atom) How to Fight a Bull (MadeMan) LOL Race Pics (AllLeftTurns)
Everyone's favorite stoners (besides Cheech & Chong; Spiccoli; the guys in Half-Baked; Chris Tucker's Smokey; The Dude; Method Man and Redman; the Pineapple Expressers; Jay and Silent Bob; the guy with the hat in Dazed and Confused; Kristen Stewart; Tenacious D; Snoop Dogg; Doug Benson; and Brenda Blethyn in Saving Grace) Harold & Kumar are gearing up for another big screen adventure. The sequel will be Christmas-themed and marks the return of Kal Penn to Hollywood, after he joined forces with Obama as the associate director of Made-Up Position.Producers are seriously considering releasing the film in 3D, because if there's one thing their target audience (guys who work the night-shift at Carvel) have, it's $25 for a movie ticket. (Deadline)
Russell Brand will be added in post.Up until last week, Goldie Hawn comedy remakes were an untapped Goldie-mine (slaps self, faxes resume to Leno). Then came news that Jennifer Lopez would focus her being a B-word energies toward a remake of Overboard. And this morning comes casting that makes more sense. Anna Faris is strapping on Hawn's combat boots for a remake of Private Benjamin. From THR:“Private Benjamin” is being called up to duty again. New Line is remaking the seminal 1980 comedy, reconfiguring it for the new century as a starring vehicle for Anna Faris.“Benjamin” starred Goldie Hawn in a star-making turn as a spoiled woman who joins the Army after her husband dies during sex on their wedding night.The new take will set the story in contemporary times with modern wars as the backdrop. Insiders say the studio doesn’t want to poke fun at the men and women in the service or take political potshots, but rather focus on the empowerment elements and build on the fish-out-of-water comedy.Her character's husband dies during sex on their wedding night? Maybe a more suitable casting choice would have been Tara Reid. I figure any healthy man has about 40 or 45 seconds to live once her saliva absorbs into his bloodstream.
Paramount seems very serious about actually making a Baywatch movie. So serious in fact, that they've now brought on five writers to capture the elusive tone of the master work. Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka (who wrote Jonah Hill's The Sitter) have been brought in to polish drafts from The Break-Up's Jeremy Garlick and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn. It's said the film is to be in the vain of the Charlie's Angels revamp with more of a focus on female action (read: jiggliness).Though no director or castmembers have been hired, we already know where this thing is going. Heidi Montag to star and Zack Snyder to direct. Both are masterful at capturing slow-motion running for different reasons. I'd imagine David Hasslehoff would make some kind of appearance as no actor alive can perform mouth to mouth on a cheeseburger as well as he can. Well, maybe Vince Vaughn could. (THR)
Russell Brand will be added in post. Before you start salivating, this movie isn't about a tall stack smothered in maple syrup with a side of hash browns and sausage. Kaley Cuoco, Sheldon's dreamy tall stack on The Big Bang Theory, has joined the Easter Bunny comedy (is that a thing?) I, Hop. Russell Brand and James Marsden are already set to star in the film that I'm sure will do for Easter what Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights did for Hanukkah. Cuoco will play Marsden's character's sister, "who allows Marsden to live with her when he gets kicked out by his parents because he injures a big f*cking bunny rabbit and brings it home to live with him." Talk about a bad house guest! I just hope there's a gag with him in a mailbox. That joke gets me every time. (THR)
Still waiting for this to hit the big screen.Today's links are ready now for your viewing pleasure. Actors Who Have Played Identical Twins (Moviefone)Is Porn Good for Society? (Asylum)James Franco is Smarter Than You (PopEater)25 Hot Spring Break Girls (HolyTaco)An E-Trade Baby Movie? You're Sh*tting Me. (FilmDrunk)12 Acapella Versions of Your Favorite Themes (Unreality)Hot Bikini Girls Mud Wrestling (TotalProSports)21 Monkeys Being Awesome (Maxim)Stupid Baby Tricks (Smosh)Huge Collection of Jennifer Aniston's Rump (CelebJihad)Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC Fight Night 21 (CagePotato)160 Greatest Schwarzenegger Quotes (Pajiba)3D Cooking Show (Atom)Building Your Man Garage (MadeMan)Hamlin Enjoys Some Goody's Pain Relief (AllLeftTurns)7 Ways to Still Use Your Small Penis (RegretfulMorning)
Though Tom Petty lyrics would lead you to believe Reseda to be a haven for vampires, Hot Tub Time Machine director Steve Pink is aiming to set the record straight with Werewolves of Reseda. The story, which is about a group of guys gradually turning into werewolves, is being described as The Hangover with a horror twist. Wouldn't that just be The Hangover with more Carrot Top footage?At any rate, it's getting all kinds of werewolf-y in here. Off the top of my head I can think of six or seven werewolf-centric projects already released or in production. Between all that Twilight stuff, The Wolfman, MTV's "Teen Wolf" series, MMA Werewolves, The Monster Squad, David Hayter's Wolves, and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars, there's never been an easier time for really hairy dudes to get work. (/Film)
Back in the good-old days, the elderly were revered as a valuable source of knowledge. Their vast life experiences were respected not only as a link to the past, but also as guide for the future. Yes, old people were once a cherished commodity. Just kidding! I assume old people have always been considered lame, but I don’t know for sure because I never learned history. History is for old people, and I hate old people. But I will say this; in the world of Hollywood make-believe, there are a few old dudes that I would not want to piss off. Luckily we live in the real world where old dudes can barely walk. But all the same, here’s a list of eight movie geezers you don’t want to mess with.
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and DJ Jazzy Jeff before a show on the mothership. Back in November we reported that Roland Emmerich wanted to do two Independence Day sequels back-to-back. We laughed at the idea and made fun of his German accent as we reenacted his interview to MTV, but now we might have to wipe a whole lotta sauerkraut off our faces because Will Smith bitch-slapped us with his recent attachment to the projects.According to IESB, Smith is on board for both sequels, possibly titled ID4-Ever Part I and Part II, a delicious pun that I hope never changes. Emmerich stated in the previous interview that the story would again be set on Earth, and the reason for two movies is that he wants "to do a bigger story arc." If I had it my way, Part II would consist entirely of Bill Pullman shooting confused looks at the rest of the ensemble cast and then delivering one ridiculously long-winded monologue before ACTUAL Randy Quaid flies off in a jet to fight aliens. Now if we can somehow invent the technology to scoop images directly out of Randy's brain they wouldn't have to shoot even a single frame. It's practically the only thing the man thinks about these days.
Producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form have cultivated a career remaking horror films under the tutelage of Michael Bay. Remaking a film beloved by fans is always a risky maneuver, unless it's an all-child version of Scarface. Platinum Dunes has drawn the ire of fan boys and horror zealots with their take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th. They're next effort, A Nightmare on Elm Street, is already being maligned. With that in mind they've decided to change their game by stepping away from ruining childhoods and move into ruining graphic novels. Fuller tells Dread Central:"The studio has decided to move forward and look for new types of material, which is how we got involved with Existence 2.0. I love action-y type material, and these graphic novels had that feel to them. Our writers are currently working on the script for that project.”Does that mean they are done with horror entirely? More after the jump.
Stunt Schooled – Watch more Funny VideosIf you've been wondering how Robert Downey Jr. delivered those painful blows in the opening sequence of Sherlock Holmes then look no further than this video. Eric Oram, fight consultant for the film, takes you step-by-step through the process of deafening someone, jamming their windpipe, breaking their ribs, and shattering their kneecap. All fake of course, but still badass. Don't try this on your little brother. But feel free to try these links at home.Bryan Singer to Produce X-Men: First Class (Moviefone)Junk Food May Be As Addictive As Crack (Asylum)Ricky Martin is Officially Gay (PopEater)25 Awesome Rage Guy Cartoons (HolyTaco)M. Night Thought 'Twilight' Was Perfect (FilmDrunk)5 Awesome Chatroulette Music Videos (Unreality)19 Players Ejected from Bench-Clearing Brawl (TotalProSports)The Art of the Prank (Maxim)Freak Show All-Stars (Smosh)Mila Kunis Shows Some Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC 115 May Be Headed to Cincinnati (CagePotato)5 Best Time Travel Movies (Pajiba)An Outrageous Sitcom Parody (Atom)20 Songs To Have Sex To (MadeMan)25 WTF NASCAR Photos (AllLeftTurns)
Back in January we reported that AMC had greenlighted the pilot for "The Walking Dead", and now the network has ordered six episodes while the pilot is still in the casting stages. These six episodes will complete the first season, an order that might not seem sufficient for fans of the graphic novel, but we shouldn't bite the brains that feed us.The biggest of those brains belongs to Frank Darabont, who wrote and directed the pilot, and who will serve as executive producer of the series. Robert Kirkman, the creator of the graphic novel, will also serve as executive producer along with Gale Anne Hurd, David Alpert, and Charles Eglee, who was a writer on "Dexter." "The Walking Dead" is set to premiere in October 2010 during AMC's Fearfest (formally MonsterFest), the network's annual marathon of thriller and horror films. (THR)
DIRECTOR: Frank Darabont; variousCAST: TBDSYNOPSIS: Zombies.
Legendary Pictures is gearing up for an American remake of Godzilla, the well-known monster most famous for destroying Tokyo more times than panty-sharking. This seems like a bad idea. Roland Emmerich's attempt to bring Toho's monster to American shores was terribly goofy and has really soured the public's need to see another film. For that reason, Legendary wants to make it clear that this movie will not be a sequel to that movie. It will be a re-imagining of the Japanese Godzilla films, but I'm still hesitant to trust–Wait what's this?Oh, okay. That's adorable. I can't stay mad at him now. Post-convert it to 3D and bring it on Legendary!
This one's for all of you losers who went out Saturday night and missed "Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards". Your incessant need to beer bong and talk to women almost prevented you from seeing this Iron Man 2 TV spot featuring footage unseen heretofore. This new spot shows off Scarlett Johannson's talent for saying words and reveals that her character doesn't have the Russian accent she was expected to have. Up until now, I didn't even notice she hadn't talked in the previous ads. Between that and Don Cheadle's little moment, I guess the intent is to remind the public that there are actors in this movie amongst all the CGI. Also note that there is zero footage of Mickey Rourke as villain Whiplash in this spot. Test groups show that Mickey Rourke doesn't chart well with the youth demographic. Something about him being "scary" and "murder eyes." All that can be changed though by casting him as a rough around the edges babysitter who also is a spy. It's your move FOX. Watch the spot after the jump.
And the winning captions are…"It's alright, I would never tell your wife what we do to stay warm.""If this Prince of Persia gig doesn't work out I might need to crash at your place.""At least you got Spider-man. I had to settle for Aquaman on Entourage.""Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.""I was only kidding about your sister. Let go of my neck."You guys really went hard with the Brokeback Mountain jokes, obviously.The winners will receive Brothers on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Brothers is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Someone sent Break this elementary school production of Scarface. I have no idea what district would allow such explicit material to be portrayed by children, or why they used popcorn instead of cocaine, but I wish my old school was this cool. My guess is some drama teacher got his pink slip and said, "F*ck it, I'm puttin' on Scarface." Then before the administrators knew it, Tony Montana was dead face down in a hot tub and parents were clapping from sheer confusion. Check out the coolest school production ever below.
Fantasy movie-making BFF's (big fat fatties) Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro have been been delayed further in their attempts to bring The Hobbit to cineplexes. Filming was slated to begin in June but has now been pushed back toward the end of the year. This push will probably jeopardize plans for the film's late 2012 release. TheOneRing.net cites the on-going money troubles over at the co-producing MGM as the reason for the delay and until they pull themselves out of debt, this film will not be receiving a greenlight.Personally I wish they'd hurry the hell up. I'd really like to be able to leave my house but I look ridiculous in this Gandalf costume that I was accidentally stitched into. (The Playlist)
Citing the lack of buck naked knife fights in recent films, David Cronenberg has reteamed with his muse Viggo Mortensen once more for a sequel to the 2007 film Eastern Promises. Steve Knight, who wrote the original as well as David Fincher's upcoming Pawn Sacrifice, has finished the script and Cronenberg is scheduled to begin filming next winter after he and Mortensen wrap The Talking Cure.At this time it is unknown if Naomi Watts and Viggo's manhood will reprise their roles but we should hope that Mortensen's package makes another appearance, because it was by far and away the breakout star of the original. Perhaps there's room for a naked rake fight in the script. (Deadline)
We all know that Battlefield Earth is bad. Like, worse than stuff on Fox Family bad. In fact, it won the "Worst Movie of the Decade" Razzie this month. An award that screenwriter J.D. Shapiro showed up to pick up in person. In today's New York Post, Shapiro wrote an apology that's ten years overdue. Think of all the people who went to their graves without this much-needed mea culpa. He also provided some backstory to explain how the turd was squeezed onto screens. Naturally, his penis is to blame:It started, as so many of my choices do, with my Willy Wonker. It was 1994, and I had read an article in Premiere magazine saying that the Celebrity Center, the Scientology epicenter in Los Angeles, was a great place to meet women.So a grown man who refers to his penis as his Willy Wonker wanted to get some crazy tail and as a result was hired to write a $100 million movie. And that led to Forest Whitaker wearing dreadlocks and Travolta talking like a castmember of Zoobilee Zoo. Hooray for Hollywood.You can read Shapiro's full piece at the NY Post. But be warned, you'll have to grit your teeth and suffer through his jokes. They're worse than ours.
Jack didn't take it very well.FOX has decided to pull the plug on 24 after eight seasons. Climbing budgets, declining ratings, and writers being unable to figure out what the hell is left for Jack Bauer to save are the main reasons the show will air its final episode in May. NBC flirted with the idea of picking up 24 next season but after their accountants crunched the numbers they realized the content wasn't worth the cheddar.There's still the possibility of a 24 feature film that would take Jack Bauer to Europe, but there's also the possibility of an Arrested Development movie, and we all know how sluggishly that's been making its adaptation. I enjoyed 24 a great deal in its earlier years, but quickly got tired of the same "Tell me where the bomb is!" storyline week after week after week after week. It had a good run. I'm glad they're ending it before it jumps a terrorist shark strapped to the gills with C4. (THR)
The filthy hobo in the crowd made Howard's senses tingle.Here are your weekend links.Exclusive Kick-Ass Clip (Moviefone)What Not to Do in Tijuana (Asylum)Dennis Hopper Accepts Hollywood Star (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Trophy Presentation (HolyTaco)Toy Stormtroopers in Funny Situations (Unreality)Dirt Bike Glides on Water (TotalProSports)Ravishing Rock Chicks (Maxim)If Video Games Were Real (Smosh)Oil Sheik Purchases Victoria's Secret Models (CelebJihad)UFC 111 Weigh-In (CagePotato)Gerard Butler Career Assessment (Pajiba)Curb Your McConaughey (Atom)6 Places to Dump Your Girlfriend (MadeMan)Drivers Adjusting to Spoiler (AllLeftTurns)