Everything Chris Klein Says in ‘Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li’
Thursday, September 9 by

Everything Chris Klein Says in "The Legend of Chun Li" from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo.
In all fairness, this IS more entertaining than the movie. In all fairness. (VideoGum)
These links walk through the raindrops.
The Manliest Manly Performances In Football History (ModernMan)
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FX’s ‘Lights Out’ Teaser Comes Out Swinging
Thursday, September 9 by

FX dropped a testosterone-fueled teaser for their new series "Lights Out." This footage already has me amped up and the show doesn't even premiere until January. How am I supposed to expend all my energy now? Huh?! No you tell me!
The show stars Holt McCallany as Patrick Leary, a former heavyweight champ facing various difficulties in his life outside the ring. We've seen the whole broken down boxer thing before, but I have no doubt FX will deliver a fresh take on the premise. Or I'll fight them.
Check out the teaser after the jump…

12 Most Bad-Ass Devils In Film
Thursday, September 9 by

Devils and demons have possessed the silver screen in many formats, from comedies to cartoons, CGI depictions, psychological thrillers, and fantasy worlds. Yet the most bad-ass, ripsnorting, fire breathing incarnations that we remember are the ones that send chills down our spines. With Devil taking over theaters Friday, I thought I'd compile a list of the 12 most bad-ass Devils in movies. Nothing is better than witnessing your favorite actor playing the ultimate screen villain of old Beelzebub himself. Hail Satan!
 
Al Pacino as John Milton – The Devil's Advocate

While the movie is just a silly combination of John Grisham novels meets the production designer of Rosemary’s Baby, there's plenty of hot and steamy sex with Connie Nelson and Charlize Theron. Plus Al Pacino plays the devil, so do I really need to say anything more?
 

J.J. Abrams And Jonathan Nolan Looking For Good Home For TV Crime Show
Thursday, September 9 by

J.J. Abrams is going out with another show. He has partnered up with the younger NoBro, Jonathan, to shop a new crime show around to the networks. With names like J.J. Abrams and Jonathan Nolan attached, and work like "Lost," Dark Knight, and Inception under their collective belt, I'd think it's only a matter of time before this gets picked up. Especially if Joaquin Phoenix can sell footage of the guitarist from Spacehog pooping on him. They're just giving development deals away out there in California!! (EW)

Malin Akerman Locked In ‘The Numbers Station’
Thursday, September 9 by

Malin Akerman has agreed to move to the desert with Ethan Hawke. In The Numbers Station, Hawke plays a CIA agent protecting Akerman in a desert safehouse. Naturally, the bad guys show up just as Hawke is drafting his letter to Penthouse and the two are forced to fight back. Because that always happens to witnesses in protective custody, no matter how well-hidden they may be. It's Van Damme's Law of Averages. (Variety)

Edward James Olmos Planning ‘Battlestar Galactica’ Graphic Novel
Thursday, September 9 by

"Battlestar Galactica" fans should be happy about this. Edward James Olmos isn’t ready to let William Adama go. The creators of the TV series are sticking with prequels but he’s got a plan to see Commander Adama again.

“If they don’t, I am,” Olmos said in a conference call today. “I’m going to go there. I’m going to go there in a graphic novel. Pretty soon I hope. I don't know. It just depends on whether people can get behind it and understand it for what it is. I think people will.”
More after the jump…

Jeremy Renner And Noomi Rapace Might Be ‘Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters’
Thursday, September 9 by

Bring it on, witches.
Jeremy Renner recently spoke to Norwegian site Dagsavisen in loud, deliberate speech patterns to explain that he might work for breadcrumbs in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. He also stated that original Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace, may play his sister and fellow witch hunter for director Tommy Wirkola and producers Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.
There's no official press release yet, so don't consider this a lock. It's about time Renner returned to comedy. He showed such promise in National Lampoon's Senior Trip. (Twitch)

‘Chuck’ Season 4 Intel: The Return of Linda Hamilton
Thursday, September 9 by

"Chuck" makes its return September 20, but we can give you hints about what’s happening in the episode airing October 25. They’re six episodes into the fourth season and we caught up with Zachary Levi while was on a break doing some PR for his Disney animated film, Tangled.

Season three ended with Chuck coming clean to Ellie (Sarah Lancaster) about his spy career, and resigning from the CIA. The fact that there’s a season four means there must be more spying and more secrets, but they’re not jumping the shark.
More after the jump…

‘Dexter’ Poster Doesn’t Skimp On The Awesome
Thursday, September 9 by

The print campaign for "Dexter" has always been eye-grabbing and awesome, and the new poster art for season five does not disappoint either. We already reported that the new season will follow in the footsteps of The Karate Kid 2, Halloween 2, and the Back To The Future sequels by picking up right where the action ended last season. Looks like this poster is doing the same. So much for spoiler warnings. This baby will soon be seen on billboards, bus stops, subway platforms, baseball stadiums, tramp stamps, magazines, banner ads, and the lunchboxes of the criminally insane.

Christina Hendricks’ Boobs Join Cast of ‘Drive’
Wednesday, September 8 by

Good news for people who like giant bouncing boobs! Christina Hendricks' wonderful breasts are joining the cast of Drive. The addition of Hendricks' chest rounds out an all-cast including Ryan Gosling, Chesty Laroo, Bryan Cranston, Tits McGee and Albert Brooks.

The film follows the exploits of a stunt driver who breasts as a getaway driver that boobs mammaries. The film is expected to hit theaters tits bazongas. Boobs. (Collider)

Katy Perry Is a C*ck Tease
Wednesday, September 8 by

Katy Perry Is a C*cktease Music Video – Watch more Funny Videos
This parody of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" music video addresses the frustration all of us males have with the singer. Just show them to us already! They're real and they're spectacular!
These links won't give you blue balls.
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$75, 000 A Year Buys You Happiness (MadMan)

Ron Howard Taking On Stephen King’s ‘The Dark Tower’
Wednesday, September 8 by

Ron Howard might be biting off more than he can chew. The best ginger director working in the business today is teaming up with screenwriter Akiva Goldsman to adapt Stephen King's beloved novel series The Dark Tower into a feature film and television series. He's going to direct everything himself, battle all the haters who say it can't be done, and stave off a nervous breakdown in the process. Ronnie, you be crazy! Deadline has the deets:
The plan is to start with the feature film, and then create a bridge to the second feature with a season of TV episodes. That means the feature cast—and the big star who’ll play Deschain—also has to appear in the TV series before returning to the second film. After that sequel is done, the TV series picks up again, this time focusing on Deschain as a young gunslinger. Those storylines will be informed by a prequel comic book series that King was heavily involved in plotting. The third film would pick up the mature Deshain as he completes his journey. They will benefit from being able to use the same sets cast and crew for the movie and TV, which could help contain costs on what will be a financially ambitious undertaking.
Peter Jackson is sh*tting in his britches right now. I remember when his back-to-back-to-back Lord of the Rings Trilogy was an unprecedented cinematic feat. If Howard's plan comes together it'll put the whole thing to shame. Thanks Jackson, but we don't need your contributions to film anymore. Ronnie's got the medium on lockdown. 

New ‘Monsters’ Trailer Shows Monsters
Wednesday, September 8 by

The newest trailer for Monsters finally gives us a glimpse of the bad CGI tentacle monsters. Wow. These things have become far more scary than that time that Fred Savage and Howie Mandel fought them. Now I understand what all the fuss is about! Check out these glowing reviews the film has received so far:
"Utterly unique and original." – IGN
"Awesome. The best giant monster movie I've seen in years." – AICN
"Feel good movie of the year." – Japanese Tentacle Rape Fetishist Quarterly
Monsters opens in theaters on October 29th and On-Demand September 24th. Honestly, I can't wait.
Check out the expanded trailer after the jump…

Studios Begging Martin Freeman To Do ‘The Hobbit’
Wednesday, September 8 by

You want Bilbo Baggins, Freeman wants a Kit-Kat.
People are talking about The Hobbit again. Yesterday, The Sun reported that New Line and MGM were doing everything short of offering up hookers to land Martin Freeman (The British "The Office") for the role of Bilbo Baggins. We obviously dismissed it because The Sun has as much clout as Highlights Magazine, but now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that the rumors are true. TRUE!
It was at first thought that Freeman declined the offer to star in the inevitable blockbuster due to his committment to the BBC series "Sherlock." Well someone must have screamed some sense in his face because the studios are now working out a deal that would allow him to appear in both projects. If they land the actor, all they'll need to worry about next is money and a director. Those kind of major factors usually fall into place last minute though. Take it from MGM, the studio without a bush to piss in or a lion's den to throw it out of.   

Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari Take On An ‘Olympic-Size A**hole’
Wednesday, September 8 by

The veil has been lifted on Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride's super-secret comedy project. Not 30 Minutes Or Less. We already know about that one. I'm talking about their other comedy project. The comedians are teaming up again for Olympic-Size A**hole. Written by Ansari and Harris Wittels, it's a revenge flick that follows McBride and Ansari as they set out to destroy an Olympic athlete that banged their girlfriends.
The title, Olympic-Size A**hole, may change as it could easily be mistaken for a Lindsay Lohan biopic. (MTV)

Far Out Matrix-Big Lebowski Mash-up
Wednesday, September 8 by

Matrix-Big Lebowski Mash-Up – Watch more Funny Videos
If there's one guy who will never understand the complexities of The Matrix it's probably The Dude. But that doesn't stop Morpheus from trying. This mash-up beautifully cuts together the two movies to create a hilarious conversation between two characters who live life on completely different plains. Except for their fondness of narcotics. (FilmDrunk)

Robert Schwentke to Direct Ryan Reynolds in ‘R.I.P.D.’
Wednesday, September 8 by

Reynolds will do your damn scene in a minute.
Robert Schwentke has officially signed on to tell Ryan Reynolds how to hold his gun in R.I.P.D. The director is taking advantage of the buzz he's generated with the upcoming Red starring Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren. He's decided to try the whole action movie thing with a cast that's currently ineligable for a AARP discount.
Reynolds will get right into the role of police officer for the dead after he completes the 20,000 other projects he has lined up. Change-Up is first on the docket, followed by Safe House with Denzel Washington. Shooting will start late next summer on R.I.P.D. Until that time, Schwentke will be following Reynolds around, tapping his foot impatiently and staring at his watch. (Deadline)

Adam Sandler: What the Hell Happened?
Wednesday, September 8 by

“I hate Adam Sandler movies.”

I used to get pissed off when I’d hear someone say that. First of all, it should be “Sandler’s movies,” not “Sandler movies.” Not that I’m a grammar Nazi, but come on! Second, what‘s not to like?

When pressed, most Sandler haters would reply with something along the lines of “his movies are stupid.” Of course they’re stupid. Most comedies are. But Sandler’s don’t pretend to be anything more. If you want something “intellectual,” go whack off to Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I prefer to laugh.

Michael Caine Accepts ‘Journey 2: The Mysterious Island’ Paycheck
Wednesday, September 8 by

Michael Caine has admitted on record that the only reason he did Jaws: The Revenge was for the money and the free trip to the Bahamas. "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!" So, there's not much surprise that he's agreed to co-star opposite the Rock in the Hawaii-based Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Plus, he gets to work with Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore director Brad Peyton. What actor would turn down that opportunity?!
In the film, he'll portray Josh Hutcherson's adventure-seeking granddad who wanders off and winds up on a mysterious island. This will be an action-heavy role for Caine that will see him squaring off against giant bees. If you listen closely, that beeping sound is a dump truck full of money backing up to Oscar-winner Michael Caine's terrific house. (THR)

‘Zombieland 2′ to Shoot in 3D (Maybe)
Tuesday, September 7 by

In a recent interview with MTV, director Reuben Fleischer spoke about a possible sequel to his hit film, Zombieland. While he is currently preoccupied with his latest project, 30 Minutes or Less, Fleischer expressed interest in shooting the second installment in 3D…if he shoots it at all.
When it comes to 3D, I feel pretty strongly that you should shoot it in camera. I feel like it just looks so much better. If you're going to make a 3D movie, go ahead and make a 3D movie. I would definitely, if we do 'Zombieland 2,' make it in 3D and want to shoot it in 3D.
I'm not sure I totally agree with that statement. Clash of the Titans wasn't shot in 3D, and the film looked awesome after the conversion. Of course, I never actually watched the film. I just took a bag of mushrooms and stared at the poster until the theater manager asked me to leave. But still, the scene where Liam Neeson craps in the parking lot is amazing. Or was that me? Either way, great movie. (Dread Central)

James Bond Is No Match For Christina Hendricks
Tuesday, September 7 by

You may remember this Visa commercial with the Tomorrow Never Dies tie-in, but I bet you don't remember that your favorite buxom redhead stopped Bond at the pass.
These links require I.D.
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‘Catfish’ Directors Defend Against Accusations of Fakery
Tuesday, September 7 by

The new film Catfish wants to get people talking, but maybe not in the way it has. Since its premiere at Sundance, the film has made an impact on viewers. It begins with NY photographer Yaniv Schulman starting a Facebook relationship with a Midwestern family, then goes to a dark place. Some people are calling bullsh*t on filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost. They’re sticking to their story though.

“This question of whether the film is real or not never occurred to us while we were editing because why would you ever suspect that people would be suspicious of something that actually happened to you,” Joost said at a roundtable in Los Angeles today. “But when we started showing it at Sundance, that’s when we started getting questions from the audience. When we were making the film, there were many times when we thought wow, this is too good to be true in a lot of ways, or I can’t believe that just happened the way that it did or that we captured that in the way that we did, but it really happened. That’s the truth.”
More after the jump…

Enter ‘Jackass 3D’s’ Prank Contest!
Tuesday, September 7 by

Do you excel at hitting your friends in the nuts, and sticking things up your butt? If so, it makes you qualified to be a member of the Jackass crew. Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass 3D peeps are hosting the first Jackass 3D Prank Contest.
To enter, all you need to do is submit a description or drawing of your most outrageous prank to the official site. No video submissions will be accepted. If you win, you'll be flown out to shoot your prank with the cast of Jackass 3D. You can enter at the contest's site HERE.
Here's my submission:

Imagine Wee Man in the middle.

Amy Poehler To Host ‘SNL’ Season Premiere; Jenny Slate May Get Sh*t-Canned
Tuesday, September 7 by

Amy Poehler will host the 36th season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 25 with musical guest Katy Perry. That's on a Saturday. Considering that everyone is either leaving (Will Forte) or getting fired (possibly Jenny Slate), the "SNL" alum and star of "Parks and Recreation" might have to calm the nerves of newbie cast members.
Hopefully it won't turn out like last year's season premiere, in which Jenny Slate uttered the word "f*ckin'" on live television. You can't do that kind of stuff, Jenny Slate! Now her head is on Lorne Michaels's chopping block. I don't watch the show anymore, but I've been told by people who do that Slate is groan-worthy. If you're going to shoot off at the mouth like sailor you should at least get people laughing. Off with her head, Lorne! (Deadline)

Liam Neeson Joins Cast Of ‘Battleship’ For $ome Reason
Tuesday, September 7 by

"You do not sink Liam Neeson's Battleship."
Liam Neeson may have missed out at the chance to play Abraham Lincoln, but he will be DAMNED if he misses the opportunity to work with Rihanna. Zeus has signed on to play an Admiral in Peter Berg's cuckoo-bananas film adaptation of the Hasbro board game.
More specifically, Neeson will play Admiral Shane, the father to Brooklyn Decker's character and future father-in-law to Taylor Kitsch (if you care about the soap opera aspects of Battleship). No word yet if the film will feature any Krakken releasing. (Deadline)

Interview: Sigourney Weaver
Tuesday, September 7 by

You Again might not be a Screen Junkies type of movie, but Sigourney Weaver will always be a SJ type of lady. If the Disney comedy is the excuse to…

Fall TV Tips: The Sci-Fi/Fantasy Shows
Tuesday, September 7 by

The new fall TV season is upon us. If you’ve been following my sage advice for fall TV viewing of the new shows, you’ve probably been eagerly anticipating my last installment in the series. Well anticipate no more. Here it is. I saved the sci-fi/supernatural/fantasy shows for last because…it was the last category I picked out of the hat. Regardless, it’s an important segment of your TV viewing and one show deserves your attention. Another show does not.
Whether you are a science fiction/comic book fan or not, these shows will be one of your choices this fall. Read on…
WATCH IT: “No Ordinary Family” (ABC), Tuesdays at 8 pm (ET)

Who Will Have Their Wiener Bitten Off In ‘Piranha 3D’ Sequel? YOU Decide
Tuesday, September 7 by

"My wiener!!!"
Piranha 3D is a movie of the people. Especially people who have always wanted to see Jerry O'Connell have his wiener bitten off (you know who you are). Producers of the inevitable sequel want to stay in the good graces of the fans, so they are making Piranha 3D: Part Two an interactive movie.
That's right! You, Joe Q. Public, can decide which celebrity will be cast to meet a gory demise in the next film. There's no info yet on how to vote, so I'm going to walk out into Times Square and begin shouting "Gary Busey!!" If I do that long enough, two things may happen: 1) producers will receive my vote, 2) the real Gary Busey will show up before me. He's like a "Bewitched" character in that way. (NY Post)

Jan De Bont To Turn Zhang Ziyi Into Live Action ‘Mulan’
Tuesday, September 7 by

"Hey guys, can I look?!"
The Disney animated feature Mulan slipped right under my pre-teen radar, but I've never heard a person sing its praises like one might for The Lion King or Pocahontas (JK! The animals don't even speak!). Jan De Bont, the director of Speed and Twister, must have been touched by it though. A few international producers are handing him over a boatload of cash to turn Mulan into a live action movie with Zhang Ziyi in the lead. De Bont already tackled Lara Croft, so he understands the intricacies of bad-ass female characters, and how to best battle robots in tombs. I'm sure this applies to Mulan.  
If you need a brush up on your (Disney) history, the film tells the tale of "Hua Mulan, the legendary young heroine soldier who joins an all-male army." From my understanding, it wasn't an 80s comedy and Mulan wasn't a newspaper journalist trying to get a big promotion by exposing how gross guys are. (THR)

Interview: G4TV’s Alison Haislip
Tuesday, September 7 by

My favorite media event of the entire year is the Television Critics Association press tour. For two weeks, every network and cable station brings their talent to have presentations with their stars and producers for the TV critics. At night they host parties where you can just roam around and find celebrities to pester.

Comcast Networks held their party outdoors in the Oasis Garden at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. When I found G4 “Attack of the Show’s” Alison Haislip, she was shivering in a clingy black skirt. At least it wasn’t as bad as the lingerie models floating in the fountain. I found Haislip a heat lamp where we could chat about guest hosting for Olivia Munn, old school video games, and technology.

Screen Junkies: Were you always grooming yourself to fill in on “Attack of the Show” or was there an opening you seized?