Ah, 1960. A time when you could get totally obliterated at work, as long as you were drinking some type of whisky from a tumbler. The worst punishment for sexual harassment was a smirk. Doctors would smoke cigarettes on airplanes filled with asthmatic toddlers and no one would bat a bloodshot eye.
The little town of Eureka is populated almost exclusively by gadget-obsessed geniuses, which makes it the exact polar opposite of According to Jim. The residents are constantly inventing new contraptions that have a tendency to go nuts and completely screw up the lives of the town’s inhabitants, often to hilarious, if extremely nerdy, results.
Plot:The series opens with a bunch of young and verbose soldiers taking on a live-fire training exercise in Kuwait. You’re introduced to some of the main characters and prepared for the mount of cursing, sex-talk and racial slurs you’re about to hear. Most of the early scenes are spent trying to establish the crushing boredom involved with waiting around to go and kill people, which puts the focus on the dialog. It’s all very Full Metal Jacket-like, but unfortunately doesn’t have nearly the same flair or authenticity. About halfway through an episode full of bickering, and people calling each other “faggots,” the troops hit their vehicles and drive to another place where they wait around for a while. I understand that they’re trying to convey how boring it is before an invasion, but I really could’ve done without it. It’s like watching the prequel to The Fast and the Furious where Vin Diesel sits around taking the driver’s test at the DMV.
Since Lost hit the air, companies have been losing money every Friday, because all employees want to do is search for conspiracy theories on the internet and stand around the water cooler arguing about why that fat guy wasn't losing any weight.
Two of the guys behind HBO's awesome series, The Wire (David Simon and Ed Burns), adapted a Rolling Stone journalist, Evan Wright's account of his time in Iraq into a seven part miniseries. Since the information was recorded first-hand, it should provide a pretty accurate account of what it's like to sit around for hours, waiting for someone to come and shoot at you.
A lot of times, when a movie is an epic piece of crap, the studio opts not to have any press screenings in hopes that enough suckers will go see it Friday night and they’ll make their money back before everyone realizes it sucks. The Dark Knight was the opposite, though, having enough advanced screenings that even Internet writers and people with blogs like Ilikemoviesandwritelikeasecondgrader.com had no trouble getting in. Why? Because it’s an awesome movie and everyone knew it.
The kick-off of Comedy Central’s post-primetime Thursday line-up has Dave Attell at the helm of their remake of a classic wacky variety show. It’s kind of like America’s Got Talent, only it doesn’t completely suck. Every week a new panel of judges, including hilarious people like Andy Dick, Brian Posehn and even Dave Navarro.
Comedy Central’s history with gameshows is a little spotty—Win Ben Stein’s Money anyone? But after watching the premiere of Reality Bites Back, I’m convinced that this one is a total winner.
With Reno 911! done for the season, Comedy Central put 10 up-and-coming comedians in a house and made them compete in twisted versions of popular, but terrible, reality shows. Shows getting the comedy treatment include American Gladiators, The Amazing Race and even The Biggest Loser.
Written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons, Watchmen is one of the most revered graphic novels ever written (and the only graphic novel to make Time magazine's Top 100 English-language novels). The project has been in development for ages, gone through the hands of countless directors, and at one point it was thought to be "unfilmable." Director Zach Snyder must have been feeling ambitious after the smash success of 300. The story revolves around a group of aging costumed super-heroes who take their tights out of retirement after a fellow "mask" is found dead. Rating: RStudio: Warner Bros.
The latest addition to Will Smith’s eclectic collection of big-budget action flicks positions itself as the anti-super hero movie in a summer full of comic book transplants. You didn’t see any little kids calling Ironman an asshole and The Hulk sure didn’t shove anyone’s head up anyone else’s ass. Well, at least not in the theatrical version, but maybe on the DVD…probably not, though.
Will Smith takes on the roll of a down-on-his-luck superhero that splits his time between getting hammered and fighting crime. He relies on a relentlessly positive PR guy, played by Jason Bateman, and his hot wife, played by Charlize Theron, to give his image an overhaul.
Thanks to the complete dearth of decent programming during the summer season, America’s Got Talent is one of the top-rated shows on TV at the moment. I tried watching it, but quickly grew tired of the parade of annoying fat people they bring up on that stage to dance, sing and do stupid magic tricks. Apparently they sneak something interesting in there once in a while, or at least that’s what I gather from the clip posted above in which a woman named Busty Heart crushes some cans with her, well, enormous cans.
NBC’s updated and somewhat watered-down version of The Gong Show puts a variety of acts at the mercy of judges David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne and some bitchy British guy no one has ever heard of. It’s a hit during the summer off-season, primarily because it competes with absolutely nothing and requires absolutely 0% of your brain capacity to watch.
There are plenty of unrated and director’s cut DVDs chilling out on the shelves of the local big box store. Sadly, the majority of them are just a marketing ploys trying to separate you from your rapidly-shrinking entertainment budget. But the movies listed below actually benefited from another trip to the editing room.
During the first run of Gladiators back in the ‘80s, it was pretty clear that the contestants were supposed to be the good guys and the Gladiators were supposed to be the flat-top having, steroid-fueled villains. But, thanks to NBC’s ability to pick the most annoying people in the world to fill the contestants’ spandex, it seems like the foam-padded tables have turned.ContestantsThe women’s contest, however, was chock full of gimmicks, pitting a 52-year old Asian woman named Yoko (red) against a 20-year old college student named Annie (blue) with a Boston accent closely resembling Mark Walburgh’s in The Departed.The men this week were fairly generic, consisting of Alejandro (blue) an Army vet who served in Afghanistan and works with dolphins (there are tons of those in the desert, right?) against an overzealous camp counselor, hilariously named Tim Oliphant (red).
When I got the screener for the Burn Notice pilot last year, I was a little skeptical about whether or not Jeffrey Donovan was going to be able to carry a show as a spy, especially since the only thing I really remembered him from was The Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. I still regret the hour and a half of my life I sacrificed up to that thing. But Burn Notice turned out surprisingly good and I found myself pretty excited for the premiere of season two.PlotIt starts where last season left off, with Michael thinking he’s finally going to meet the woman that brought his spy career to a screeching halt. Of course, she no-shows and instead burdens him with the task of helping an extremely nerdy computer hacker complete a job with a private military that makes most of its money doing stuff to African villagers that makes Blood Diamond look like The Air Up There.
A former spy gets a pink slip (also known as a "burn notice") from his employer leaving him at the mercy of a mysterious women who gives him assigments over the phone. He gets help from his hot, but crazy ex, Fiona (played by the super-hot, Gabrielle Anwar), his wacky buddy (Bruce Campbell) and his annoying mom.
Released on a weekend that many people are looking at as merely a warm-up for inevitable orgy of Batman nerdiness to come next weekend, the second installment of Guillermo Del Toro’s comic adaptation turns the monster factor up to 11.
Network: NBCAirs: Mondays at 8 PM
There are lots of hard-working single moms out there, but this one isn't pulling double shifts at Denny's to keep her kids swimming in Trapper Keepers. She deals weed. The show recounts the sordid lives of the rich people that live in an affluent California community and makes the rest of us poor people feel just a little bit better about ourselves. Plus, it gives Kevin Nealon someting better to do than host "Funniest Commercial" compilation shows on TBS. After watching Weeds, it's not hard to believe he's actually using that money to buy weed.Network: ShowtimeAirs: Mondays at 10 PM
Have you ever been around a nerd when they are trying to be funny? It’s like being kicked in the balls by a level seven warlock dragon master. See? Geek and funny are a worthless combination. Which is why the genre of Sci-Fi comedy has been populated by cinematic failures (see Howard the Duck, Earth Girls are Easy, or The Adventures of Pluto Nash).
After an ancient truce existing between humankind and the invisible realm of the fantastic is broken, hell on Earth is ready to erupt. A ruthless leader who treads the world above and the one below defies his bloodline and awakens an unstoppable army of creatures. Now, it's up to the planet's toughest, roughest superhero to battle the merciless dictator and his marauders. He may be red.
Here's the stock blurb for this show: "Vince Chase is a sexy young actor whose career is on the rise. To share the fun of his ride to the top of Hollywood and keep him grounded, Vince looks to Eric, Drama and Turtle, his childhood buddies from Queens.