NOTE: I’m not writing this post because I think you should watch the new 90210 on the CW.
Movies can teach us many valuable things. Hell, almost everyone I know learned about sex from Skinemax's late-night line-up of soft core or HBO's Real Sex. But there are certain things you can't trust Hollywood to teach you about, one of which is definitely college. These movies have been giving high school students the wrong idea for years, but today we're going to set them straight.
It's something of an understatement, but cancer really sucks. It kills millions of people every year and now it has taken two more innocent victims in the form of Christina Applegate's boobs. She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and went in for a double mastectomy to get rid of it and keep it from spreading.
His name doesn't have the same kind of mainstream recognition that guys like George Carlin and Richard Pryor had, but most stand-up comedy fans still consider Bill Hicks to be one of the best. Russel Crowe is reportedly in talks to play Hicks in a movie about his life, which ended after a short bout with pancreatic cancer in 1994.
I have a huge crush on Rosario Dawson. There's something about her smile that's absolutely irresistable. I think it has something to do with its close proximity to her chest. NBC is giving us all a chance to spend some quality time with Rosario in a web-only sci-fi series called The Gemini Division.
Episode: "Stay Frosty." Hey, look! We're six episodes in and the war is still all screwed up. Who could've seen that coming? It's incredible how things just keep getting worse for these recon Marines. It wasn't bad enough that they had to deal with inept officers, but now they have a bunch of dumb-ass civilian soldiers out in the field putting everyone at risk.
When I used to think about how people came up with ideas for movies, I had an image of a bunch of people sitting in a room, eating Chinese food and drinking coffee until all hours of the night, when a wave of genius washed across the room, bringing to live a brilliant cinematic idea.
While Comedy Central's batting average has been pretty solid as far as roasts go, some are definitely better than others. With a line-up that included Norm McDonald, Jim Norton and the rest of the regular roasters, I had high hopes going into Danny Tanner's event. Did it live up to the hype? Almost.
The episode “Three Sundays” Starts off with Peggy at church hearing the sermon of a Pastor speaking about morals. She gets up to leave, somewhat uncomfortable with the message and runs into one of the priests. He comes over for dinner with Peggy’s fam, and the sexual innuendo beings.
It was a good week for a lot of reasons. Olympic scandals, Russian invasions, no more Issac Hays. But most importantly, Screenjukies has hit the ground running. We are now the third most popular website on the internet, right after ebay and Cat Fanciers Online. So here's a few more items before the weekend.
I will express my distaste for the Harry Potter franchise to anyone willing to listen (and often to those who don't want to listen at all), so I take a little joy in knowing that all those cape-clad fanboys and girls are going to have to wait until July 17th 2009 for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It was supposed to drop this November.
Everyone knows that if you have to explain a joke it's not funny. Everyone also knows that if something other than hard news comes out of the New York Times, it's going to be as pretentious as 20 art students jammed into a Prius.
We're sick of seeing the same 50 movies on every best horror list. We all know that The Exorcist is an incredible movie, I don't need anymore magazines or websites to tell us about it. There is a lot of good stuff that has come out of the past two decades that doesn't get the kind of recognition it deserves.
I am ridiculously fascinated with anything having to do with the illicit trade in guns, drugs, and sex. I can read books about this stuff till the wee hours of the morning. It blows my mind that the black market accounts for so much of the world’s economic trade. Most people just ignore its existence because it does such a good job of hiding itself.
The episode Sticker Shock starts with Schwayze and Cisco doing a radio show with Ryan Seacrest to debut the Buzzin' single. Afterwards, they head over to Jordan’s office to talk about the upcoming east coast radio tour. DP drops off some of the 40,000 new promo cd’s that are going to be used for their radio tour.
Well, this one may be a chick flick. But it does have Cruz and Johannson playing tonsil hockey. So I'm willing to give it a chance. Release Date: 15 August 2008
The cartoon that almost convinced you to join the Marines is due out in 2009. And remember: Knowing is Half the Battle. The other half is cheating.
As a young lad, GI Joe was one of my favorite things. I think a lot of dudes my age joined the military because they watched this cartoon as a kid. It’s also clear that we’ve all grown up to become people with at least some discretionary income and a little bit of say in the movie business.
I think that if I had super powers, I probably would not use them for the greater good. I’d have the ability to cure hang over’s and make it less humid outside. I would be able to do my taxes and fix my delinquent car registration just by thinking about it. My gas bill would pay itself. They would not make a TV show about me.
You all know what the Olympics are, so there's little use in us explaining it to you here. There are hundreds of events and thousands of athletes competing to see which country is the best as running, swimming and shooting air rifles. No, seriously. Air rifle shooting is a real event.
First off you need to know this: I lost my shit laughing at Tropic Thunder AND my mind was blown by the action. It is not easy to blend the two genres. But Ben Stiller and crew pulled it off in a big way.
We don't always have time to give every story the kind of love (hatred) it deserves, so here are some stories you can go and find read about for yourselves, you resourceful little film buffs. Below is a trailer mash-up that has Willy Wonka as a drug dealer. Wait, I thought that's what that movie was about in the first place.
It was on the wires today that Shelly Malil was taken into custody after his girlfriend was stabbed 20 times. Shelly had a role in the 40 Year Old Virgin. It’s one of those names that I wasn’t sure about, so I checked him out on IMDB. I was surprised by what I found.
There have been some protests about the usage of the word retard in Tropic Thunder. Apparently retard advocates are not too pleased about Robert Downey-Syndrome Jr's usage of the word retard in the Movie.
Episode 2 “No Bitchassness” starts off with Diddy talking about how big his empire is. Sleep is forbidden, and every night he just cant wait to wake up and work. So the teams are woken up at 5am and hustled out of the house onto a helipad where a chopper is waiting for each team.
Last week, when I posted that trailer for the fake Mother Teresa biopic, I did some bitching about how Megan Fox's unbelievable hotness was really its only redeeming quality.
Episode: "Allison." The most fun I have ever had with one of those compressed air keyboard dusters was back in college when we discovered that if you spray it while the can is upsidedown, you can freeze things. It will also burn the hell out of your skin. Because of that, I guess it never occured to me to inhale all the crap inside of the can. Allison did, though.
Documentaries can be about as interesting as an eighth grade biology film strip, but when the cameras are following around people with serious drug addictions, you never know what's going to happen. After watching the subjects further screw their lives up for a few days, they spring an intervention on them and try to get them treatment.
Episode: "Little Boats." The run of fantastic episodes had to come to an end some time and I guess this was it. That's not to say that it was a bad episode, but with all the crap that has happened in the past couple weeks, I think it was a much needed break that let the writers do some housekeeping and hopefully set up some wild stuff that's yet to come.
“The Rebellion Against All There Is…Including Making Good Movies.”