The 117 AD prequel to SNL's "The Ladies Man" Neil Marshall's epic Centurion clobbered us with a trailer today and it looks badass. The movie, starring Michael Fassbender, McNulty, and Bond babe Olga Kurylenko, tells the story of 7 Roman soldiers trapped behind enemy lines after their army is massacred. In the film, the Descent director follows the soldiers as they fight for survival while being stalked and killed by a gang of sexy French chicks. It's like a PBS version of The Warriors. Except in this case the Lizzies are far more likely to decapitate their enemies with hatchets. (IGN) Witness the massacre after the jump. The film opens April 23rd in the UK with no set US release date at this time.
Bill Carter is ready to write again. The New York Times TV industry writer is hard at work on a sequel of sorts to The Late Shift, the behind-the-scenes look at the dirty pool involved to succeed Johnny Carson as host of The Tonight Show. Of course, the recent late night shake-up will be the subject of his new book."I'm reaching out to everyone I possibly can to get every side of the story. I don't just pick one and stick with that guy."Carter is still writing but is said to be rushing to get the book on Kindles as soon as possible. I really couldn't care about the book. I'm more excited for the inevitable HBO adaptation that will be aired repeatedly for 15 years. Maybe Jimmy Kimmel could play Leno if Arzt from Lost isn't available to do it again. (Gawker)
It's going to be really awkward when Robocop and his date transition to the intimate part of the evening. (i09)Dead or alive, you're getting these links.Sean Penn and Penelope Cruz to Hand Out Oscars (Moviefone)Gallery: What Your Toys Are Doing Now (HolyTaco)Hot Chick Bounces Around in Celebration of Whatever (TotalProSports)Christian Bale Killed a Guy or Something (FilmDrunk)This Day in Fighting History: Tyson vs. Douglas (CagePotato)5 Examples of When Celebs Age (Unreality)A Lamp for Jason Voorhees (Asylum)Spicy Pics of Big Bang Theory's Kelly Cuoco (Maxim)Alec Baldwin Rushed to Hospital (CelebJihad)Passive-Aggressive Break-Ups (Pajiba)A Video Jam Packed Full of Skits (Atom)How You Can Tell If She's Good in Bed (MadeMan)Daytona 500 Early Odds (AllLeftTurns)8 Hilariously Awful PSAs (RegretfulMorning)
The first trailer for Get Him To The Greek just hit the Interwebz, and I'll be damned if Nicholas Stoller hasn't done it again. The director and writer of the highly enjoyable Forgetting Sarah Marshall brings back eccentric, hyper-sexual rocker Aldous Snow for a whimsical romp across the pond from Foggy London Town to sunny Los Angeles. Jonah Hill plays record label intern Aaron Green who gets the assignment from big boss P. Diddy to escort Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) to the Greek Theater in L.A. for the first-stop of his comeback tour. Wackiness ensues, with a plethora of sex, drugs, rock & roll, and crusty vomit on The Today Show with Meredith Vieira. Stoller delivered a perfect mix of laughs and heart in Sarah Marshall, and I have no doubt he'll add the same touch to this one. And vomit, of course. Check out the trailer after the jump. Get Him To The Greek blows the roof off theaters June 4, 2010.
Bring on the whores!Universal has hired the screenwriting duo of Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith to write a remake of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. The original starred Burt Reynolds and cleavage-afficionado Dolly Parton in the film adapted from Broadway. The update will have musical numbers though it is not known at this time if they will be new, or musty and old like Burt's nutsack.No word yet on casting, but it seems rude to open a whorehouse in Hollywood and not invite Tom Sizemore. (Variety)
Now THAT'S a headline! Armani has just released a commercial of Megan Fox wearing their underwear while standing in one place, kinda attempting to pull off what she thinks people do when they're trying to act sexy. The result is underwhelming. It would have given me more tingles if she'd just remained completely still while the camera sweeped across her naughty bits a few times. Someone close that girl's mouth. She's going to catch flies. Or worse!
The trailer for Killers follows the beats of any other Katherine Heigl movie trailer. We're introduced to her. We learn quickly that she's successful in every aspect of her life except love. Cue the man of her dreams, in this instance, Ashton Kutcher and his abs. Kutcher stalks Heigl around Nice, France while unnecessarily shirtless like NY's Naked Cowboy or He-Man or Los Angeles's David Hasselhoff. The two hook up and it seems like the perfect relationship. Until it turns into Knight & Day or Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It looks like a fun, light film (centered around murder) despite the positioning of the leads on the National Choad Index. I should dislike this but I don't. It must be the presence of Selleck. Damn that mustache. Maybe enjoy the trailer after the jump….
The toys happily welcome Pervert the Octopus to the group. Nothing makes me giddy like a Pixar trailer. Those (evil?) geniuses always knock it out of the park, and Toy Story 3 looks like no exception. All of our favorite toys are back, and they're mixing it up with a new batch of playthings when they're donated to a day care center. You'd think the rest of the movie would follow Woody and Buzz as tiny tots jam them into various orifices, but instead it appears they're loving their new home. In The Closet Ken, voiced by Michael Keaton, convinces himself he has feelings for Barbie inspite of the new cowboy arrival, and Pervert the Octopus offers up massages (with happy endings, no doubt). Everything's right as rain until the toys find out their abandoner, Andy, is looking for them. They decide to break out and go in search for the owner who cast them aside like yesterday's garbage when he decided to go better himself at college. What a selfish prick. You don't deserve these special toys, Andy! They're too good for you! You hear me, Dad?! Oops… That's an issue I need to take elsewhere. Check out the trailer after the jump. Toy Story 3 hits theaters June 18th.
Pack the kids and the dog urine-soaked sandwiches into the family truckster. It looks like New Line and David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers) are moving forward with their reboot of National Lampoon's Vacation. However, this time they're wisely dropping the National Lampoon's moniker. The goof-tards who made Van Wilder: Freshman Year spilled bong water on it and now it's ruined.News today is that screenwriting duo Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (Sam from Freaks and Geeks) have been hired to write the disastrous family outing. As previously reported, the new film will focus on Rusty Griswold as the hapless dad of his own family. Chevy Chase is expected to tag along as Grandpa Clark. No word yet whether Beverly D'Angelo or Randy Quaid will return or not. Though if Quaid is not welcomed back, Dobkin can expect a threatening, unpunctuated letter from his nutbar wife. (Variety)
There's already enough anxiety involved with sex. I don't need Gary Marshall's stammering adding to it. But look at that blurry rack! AROOOgah!10 Things You Never Knew About The Brat Pack (Moviefone)25 Weird Toilets (HolyTaco)Drunk Vagina Celebration (TotalProSports)Inglourious Grammar Nazis (FilmDrunk)Not Another Fighting Movie Written by Hector Echavarria (CagePotato)What the Hell Happened to Tough Video Games? (Unreality)3 Reasons Hooters Might Be for Sale (Asylum)12 Awesomely Artistic Styrofoam Cups (Maxim)Lindsay Lohan Would Make an Obedient Wife (CelebJihad)3D Coming to Game Shows (Pajiba)Nick Griffin is The Nicksterminator (Atom)Women Want to Get Down on Valentine's (MadeMan)5 Best Daytona 500 Finishes (AllLeftTurns)
From Paris with Love – Exclusive Clip – Watch more Movie Trailers
IN MIND-BONING 3D!!!!!!!!!Sony seems to be having a good time pushing Marc Webb around as he develops their Spider-Man reboot. Sony Marketing Chairman Jeff Blake announced today that the movie will be forcing its way into theaters on July 3rd, 2012 in sure-to-be-dull-by-then 3D. Great. Now I have to risk pink-eye to see this studio-directed bastardization? From Blake:“Spider-Man is the ultimate summer movie-going experience, and we’re thrilled the filmmakers are presenting the next installment in 3D. They resisted at first but we tightened the vice on their testicles and convinced them to see things our way. We find that groin pain can be quite the motivator. Spider-Man is one of the most popular characters in the world, and we know audiences are eager and excited to discover Marc’s fantastic vision (stiffles laughter) for Peter Parker and the franchise. Now let's cram this baby full of villians and give Spidey a jive-talking sidekick. Maybe a flying squirrel voiced by Eddie Murphy or something. And tits. I'm told teenage boys like tits.”No word yet on the film's title or which little jerk will star as Peter Parker. (Deadline Hollywood)
That's a mighty fine pokin' stick you got yourself there, Mr. Airbender. Oh sorry, it's called M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender. My whoopsie on purpose. The trailer for The Happening director's latest film has been released, and damn if it doesn't look like Night is trying to make us forget he directed The Happening. I've never seen the Airbender cartoons on Nickelodeon because I haven't watched Nick since I discovered my penis, but word is they're pretty bad ass. My excitement toward this film has been minimal to nonexistent and the trailer doesn't do much to perk up my nipples — except maybe for the constant chilly drafts of wind in it. This Airbender guy is worse than sitting next to the door in a busy coffee shop! Am I right or am I right or am I right?! The action looks aight, but I'm kind of getting used to seeing Krakens in my trailers, and the absence of one gives me the frownies. Check out the trailer after the jump and let me know your thoughts. Will this movie vanish from theaters like a fart in the wind?
Disney-Pixar are slowly dumping out Toy Story 3's toy chest to reveal 14 new characters from the upcoming sequel. Today we meet Ken. He combines the masculinity of Dirk Benedict with the fashion sense of Jim Jay Bullock. It looks like Barbie's finally found real love after G.I. Joe's crippling PTS drove a wedge down the middle of their happy union. Good for her. I can't see anything wrong here. From Disney-Pixar:Grab your binoculars and join Ken on a safari! A swinging bachelor who’s always on the lookout for fun, Ken sports the perfect outfit for his eco-adventure: light blue shorts and a leopard-print shirt with short sleeves sure to keep him cool in the hot sun. And after his exciting expedition, Ken will be ready to hit the dance floor in style. His accessories include matching scarf, sensible loafers and a fashion-forward gold belt. Dozens of additional Ken outfits sold separately.You're gonna have to keep a leash on this one Barbie. One that matches the chaps preferably. (HeyUGuys)
Tron: Legacy director Joseph Kosinski is looking to bang out another popular science-fiction film and he's spilled a load of details about how he intends to fill The Black Hole. The film won't be a sequel a la Tron or an exact do-over either. Kosinski is looking to re-imagine the film by keeping the iconic moments that come to mind but also wants to jam this Hole full of hard science. And he promises not to blow it out. Says Kosinski:"I saw The Black Hole as a little kid. What sticks out most is the robot Maximilian. The blades and the vicious killing of Anthony Perkins. That freaked me out and that's definitely going to be an element that will be preserved. From a conceptual point of view, we know so much more about black holes now, the crazy things that go on as you approach them due to the intense gravitational pull and the effects on time and space. All that could provide us with some really cool film if we embrace it in a hard science way."This sounds like one of those pornos that will be informative as well. And I'm ready to learn. **unfastens pants** (MTV)
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas and three gorditas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned. Porky's
Sucker Punch's Emily Browning's star is on the rise and it looks like she's not afraid to shed her child star image. She's just signed on for The Perfect Woman Sleeping Beauty, an erotic thriller about "a student who drifts into prostitution and finds her niche as a woman who sleeps, drugged while men do to her what she can‘t remember the next morning." I don't know about you guys but I'd totally take photos of her where it looks like she's picking her nose. But I'm an animal like that.The film is a 2008 Black Listed script from Australian author Julia Leigh, who will be making her directorial debut with this project. Alice in Wonderland's Mia Wasikowska was originally set to fill the role but opted out in the 11th hour. Keep that in mind if you ever have a chance to date either of these actresses. If life imitates art, Emily Browning > Mia Wasikowska. (The Playlist)
McClane needs to get back in there and kill some henchmen on the middle floors. There's probably a centrally located dentist's office that could provide good fodder.Don't neglect the middle links.25 Worst Romantic Comedies Ever (Moviefone)25 Pics of Verne Troyer with Hot Chicks (HolyTaco)2010 SI's Bodypainting Soccer WAGS (TotalProSports)Precious's Mom Sings in a Subway (FilmDrunk)Mark Coleman's 5 Greatest MMA Moments (CagePotato)Behold The Tonight Show's Rotting Corpse (Unreality)A New App to Lead You to Nookie (Asylum)12 Hottest Swimsuit Videos (Maxim)Blake Lively in a Bikini Being a Perv (CelebJihad)6 Most Successful Career Redefining Roles (Pajiba) CariDee English Caught Cheating (Atom)Anti-Valentine's Gift Guide (MadeMan)Danica Finally Races (AllLeftTurns)10 Sexual Euphemisms You've Used By Accident (RegretfulMorning)
The bidding war over the rights to the Terminator franchise is over and the winner is… Pacificor? I'm sorry but I'm not familiar with their films. From Deadline Hollywood: “Sony and Lionsgate dropped out at just under $29.5 million when it became clear that Santa Barbara-based hedge fund Pacificor was willing to pay almost any amount of money for Terminator.” Oh. That's why I didn't know them. Pacificor is the debtholder that pushed Halcyon into bankruptcy in the first place. Now they've swooped in and traded that debt for the once lucrative franchise. I think it would be awesome if James Cameron bought them. Not so he could make another Terminator but so he could take a dump on Terminator 3 in front of director Jonathan Mostow's house.No one knows what Pacificor plans to do with the rights but let's hope it's not to steal the technology and build their own army of machines. If robots become self-aware, there's no telling what kind of damage they may cause. (Deadline Hollywood)
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but reality show Oompa Loompa, Snooki has selected a suitor to share her bed. The Jersey Shore Hobbit stepped out recently with Emilio Antonio and he is the juicehead of her dreams. She seems genuinely smitten. Belted in the face by love, if you will."He's actually a body builder and works at the gym," she said. "I am really excited to like show the public who he is."And those hoping that their connection is merely intellectual and therefore vulnerable to temptation, I have worse news."He is freaking banging. We're the sexiest couple I have ever seen in my entire life so I am excited for everybody to see that."There you have it. Theirs is a love that will endure at least until Spring Break. Between this and the passing of Zelda Rubinstein, 2010 is shaping up to be a chaste year for pygmy-chasers. (NY Daily News)
Superman rescues Mini Nolan. It doesn't matter why. Warner Bros. must be supplying Christopher Nolan with an endless supply of whores, drugs, or fish and chips. The director of The Dark Knight and the upcoming WB film Inception has decided to nurture the new Superman movie that's in development and let it suck from the voluptuous teet of his creativity. Nolan is not writing or directing the film, but instead has taken on the role of "godfather," a title I hope appears in the credits. Developing Superman Returns was such a quagmire for WB it's no wonder they're turning to their golden boy for advice, insight, scribbles he wasn't planning on using for future projects. An insider at the studio said, "We know what we don't want to do. But we don't know what we want to do." That sounds like every Friday night conversation I had with my friends in high school. Result: we all decided to stay home, much like the audience will for this film. Shut up, I had friends! Nolan is also actively working on the Batman 3 script with brother Jonathan Nolan and blood brother David Goyer. Nolan came up with a story idea, probably while clipping his nails whilst dropping a deuce, and the team hopes to finish a draft during post-production on Inception. It looks like SJ writer Wookie Johnson has some egg on his face this morning. The proverbial and the scrambled. The former for saying yesterday that Batman 3 scripts rumors were bull hockey, the latter for sticking his face in a plate of scrambled eggs. The man's a barbarian, folks. (Deadline)
Kiefer getting angsty at the Sears Portrait Studio.Today news broke that made the 2003 Me high-five the air and request a "what-what." Keifer Sutherland is closer to bringing his penchant for sh*tty days to the multiplex. Sutherland has reportedly convinced Fox to hire screenwriter Billy Ray (State of Play, Moon, the upcoming Source Code) to adapt 24 for theater audiences.Much like Agent Cody Banks, the Griswolds, and Deuce Bigalow before him, this adventure will take Jack to Europe. That's great news!! If Die Hard and Rocky IV have taught me anything it is that European villians are waayyyy harder to kill, so this could be a fun, over the top movie. Pens in the eye for everyone!!!The show's kinda sucking in the ratings right now and the current season is expected to be the last. So we'll have to wait and see if Jack Bauer has to save the Louvre from being blow'd up. (Variety)
Today we pit our top contenders for the Best Actress Oscar in the metaphorical pudding pool for a bikini-clad, chocolate-treat-slathered Battle Royale from which only one shall emerge the victor. …
Has our insatiable appetite for stereoscopic film imagery driven us past the point of no return? Would Hollywood be brazen enough to dig up the corpse of a classic in order to drop a 3-D deuce in its mouth? I'd like to think there's a certain line that does not get crossed but this item has me worried.A source at Universal has told Cinema Blend that a 3-D remake of Jaws may be in the works. From Cinema Blend:Their claim is that people now expect more, visually, from their movie going experience. So, Hollywood studios are inclined to take some of their tried and true franchise names like Jaws and bring them into the 3D world. The tipster also revealed that at one point Tracy Morgan was being considered for the role of Matt Hooper, originally played by Richard Dreyfuss. Willikers. This is too absurd to be true. It's like a movie poster 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan would hang in his dressing room. I don't know what to fear more with Tracy Morgan in the water, the shark or somebody getting pregnant.Regard this as a rumor for now. Universal will come to their senses. The last thing Jaws needs is a remake, especially one that heads in a comedic direction. That's why we have One Crazy Summer. (Cinema Blend)
Fourfour put together a compilation of all those cheap scares in movies when someone pushes the medicine cabinet mirror closed after grabbing their Xanax/roofies for the evening, and someone/something APPEARS BEHIND THEM IN IT! It's quite amazing how many movies have actually used a gag that I'm quite positive was first on screen back when people thought Cary Grant was straight. Watch out for these links!The Best Strip Scenes in Movies (Moviefone) 25 Rednecks Being Rednecks (HolyTaco) Marisa Miller Loves Matthew Stafford's Hair (TotalProSports) Tarantino Fields an Avatard Question (FilmDrunk) Phil Baroni's Mom Makes Lattes for Matt Serra (CagePotato) 20 Noticeable Mistakes from James Bond Movies (Unreality) Is Girls in Adult Diapers Considered Porn? (Asylum) Maxim's Red Hot Valentines (Maxim) Twilight Star John Murtha Dies (CelebJihad) 5 Best Movies Filmed in New Orleans (Pajiba) Phone Sex with Two Girls is Better Than One (Atom) The White Castle Valentine's Day Dinner (MadeMan) 15 Essential NASCAR Twitter Feeds (AllLeftTurns)
Mickey Rourke plays a down on his luck trumpet player in his upcoming film Passion Play. Megan Fox plays a circus freak with wings on her back who helps Rourke's character find redemption. They're definitely an interesting pair to cast against one another and the veteran actor has only high praise for his co-star."I think the pleasant surprise was this girl who’s a world-class beauty turned out to be probably the best young actress I’ve ever worked with. At 23, I couldn’t do half of what she’s doing."Really, Mickey? You sure you're just not saying that because of her boobs and stuff?? Look, she's a really pretty girl. We get that. But this is what they do, man. This is what they do!! One minute you're complimenting her and telling her she's better than Evan Rachel Wood and Scarlett Johanssen and Keira Knightley, but then all of a sudden you're helping her move out of her apartment. Don't do it, man. It'll be you and Shia lugging her TV up six flights of stairs while that dude from 90210 plays grab-ass with her. I've seen it dozens of times. (EW)
Sensory overload. Not enough blood in my brain as I write this post. Has traveled to my…elsewhere. In a recent interview with MTV, Jessica Alba revealed she'll be playing identical twins in Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse spinoff, Machete. One of them will be bad, one of them will good, and both of them will look like Jessica Alba. I'd suggest that the two Albas kiss in the film but I'm fairly certain such an event would signal the apocalypse. In all honesty, what more would we have to live for? Check out Alba's interview below. Movie Trailers – Movies Blog
Here we are again with a day full of speculation and little actual movie news. The headlines today are all about the Superbowl's crappy array of commercials, Drew Bree's kid's sweet headphones, and flimsy movie rumors. Luckily, Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey is here to round up those rumors like a stack of basket cats.Bill Murray is a ghost – We've heard this rumor before but now Bill Murray confirmed that the only way he'll return for Ghostbusters 3 is in ghost form. Though the interview is suspected to have taken place in October and we haven't heard anything official about this movie since that time. Rule of thumb around here is to regard all Ghostbusters 3 news as rumors and lies. (Daily Mail)Meryl Streep will fold Russell Brand's underwear – Russell Brand is eager to remake Arthur and a British tabloid has reported that Meryl Streep is considering signing on to play his butler. Bear in mind this came from a British tabloid so it's all lies. The British excel at sneakiness. Case in point, James Bond. (Daily Star)A Brangelina-free Mr. & Mrs. Smith is on the way – This one isn't as much a rumor as it is just stupid. Regency Enterprises is moving forward with a reboot of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. A reboot means cheaper talent, which means more money for the studio. Honestly, I can't tell Angelina Jolie movies apart from one another anymore. But rebooting a film that's relatively recent seems dangerous to me. Dangerous because it could lead to a Saw reboot. (NY Mag)
Oh, hey. Here's some news that's probably nothing. David Goyer has stepped down as FlashForward showrunner to focus on his career in features. This news has sprouted a multitude of nerd boners due to the speculation that he is writing a third Batman film with Jonathan Nolan. But all those plump dork stiffies may be engorged for naught as there has been no official word that Goyer is involved in the project. Nor is there any confirmation that it is even in the scripting phase. Right now it's all speculation stemming from this quote from Deadline Hollywood:"Of course, Goyer's feature career is really heating up, since he co-wrote Batman Begins, and penned the story for The Dark Knight, and is now writing the third Batman installment with Chris Nolan's brother Jonah." Fact of the matter is that, as of right now, Christopher Nolan is busy with Inception and Goyer has a lot of feature projects in development, including Super Max, Ghost Rider 2, Magneto, Y: The Last Man, Scanners, The Invisible Man, The Unforgettable, and Here, There Be Dragons. So nerds, please resheath your geek-woodies until we have something more substantial to fluff to. Unless, of course, you're turned on by stories where there be dragons. Pervert. (Deadline Hollywood)
Everyone always talks about date movies, but what about the dates in movies? Sure, you can pick Hollywood’s latest (laaaaame) offerings of Dear John or Valentine’s Day and hope to impress the girl you tricked into going out with you. Or, you could take a cue from some movies that nailed the perfect date and really knock their socks/panties off. 10) Superman: The Movie