Breaking News: Casey Affleck has admitted that his Joaquin Phoenix documentary, I'm Still Here, is fake. Affleck followed that bombshell by admitting that he and Ben Affleck are brothers, and that he really likes Boston. He then went on to give the dumbest quote in the history of man (or in at least the past two days):
“I never intended to trick anybody…The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.”
Really, that's weird. Usually when I'm lying out my teeth while taking part in an elaborate hoax, it crosses my mind. Then again, I'm not the type of person who says "quote/unquote" out loud, so maybe I can't relate because I'm not a pretentious #sshole. Although I find that hard to believe, considering my love of A Prairie Home Companion…the radio show, of course, not the movie. (NYT via /Film)
Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to play Queen front man Freddie Mercury in an upcoming biopic, Deadline is reporting. The film will be written by Peter Morgan (Frost/Nixon, The Queen), and will be financed by GK Films, in conjunction with several other companies including Queen Films, which is made up of the surviving members of Queen. Production will begin in 2011.
Will Cohen be able to pull off the flamboyantly gay showman that was Freddie Mercury? Considering his character of Brüno makes Mercury look like Pat Robinson, I'm assuming he'll do just fine. In fact, if my understanding of Mercury is accurate, it will be a lot like the Brüno movie, except instead of being Austrian he'll be British, and instead of having a happy ending he'll die of AIDS. Basically Brüno meets Philadelphia.
This video is basically saying that Jewish people share certain traits. I should know. I look like a combo of Shia, Adam Sandler, and Marty Feldman. (Buzzfeed)
Enjoy these Thursday links.
Sara Silverman Goes Full Frontal In 'Taking This Waltz' (Moviehopping)
Brooklyn Man Uses Found Pennies To Make Art (Asylum)
The 16 Most Shameful Politician's Daughters (Ranker)
5 Legitimate Reasons To View Porn At Work (HolyTaco)
Frotcast 14: Easbound & Down, Centurion, And 30 For 30 (FilmDrunk)
Dive Bar T-Shirt Club (Maxim)
New York Mets Now Hiring Sports Spoof Commercial (BarStoolSports)
A Tribute To The Trapper Keeper (EgoTV)
F*cking F*ck Sidekick Ellen Page, 'Super' Clip (Pajiba)
Today I Learned That Don Draper Was A Real Guy (Unreality)
Chick Projectile Vomits During 424-Pound Deadlift (TotalProSports)
Better In Japan: Bicycle Parking (Smosh)
Sexy New Photos Of Inez Sainz (BroBible)
Kim Kardashian Playboy Outtakes (CelebJihad)
New York MMA Documentary (CagePotato)
Airbrushing Controversy Surrounding Gabourey Sidibe (PopEater)
iRetrofone For Old Timey iPhones (MadeMan)
JustJared snagged some snaps today from the set of What The Hell Is Orlando Bloom Doing? Here you can clearly see Orlando dressed like an asswipe along with Cristoph Waltz and Milla Jovovovovovovich. No photos yet of co-stars Logan Lerman, Mads Mikkelsen, Matthew Macfayden, Ray Stevenson, or Juno Temple, but I'm sure they look just as ridiculous. I'll keep you posted.
Check out a full gallery after the jump…
Everyone wants a piece of that Jennifer Garner ass! Ahem, I mean talent. The in demand actress is in talks to star in Better Living Through Chemistry opposite Jeremy Renner, another actor who's grabbin' up roles. Garner has also signed on for The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Dolla dolla bills, ya'll. Gotta support those Affleck kids somehow. Vulture has the deets:
Better Living Through Chemistry is a dramatic thriller about a small-town pharmacist (Renner) stuck in a loveless marriage who embarks on an affair with a "trophy wife" (Garner). She introduces him to prescription drugs, as it goes, and that’s when “things spin out of control” as the pair begins to devise a scheme to off Garner’s husband.
The modern-day fable Timothy Green centers around a child-prodigy musician and his parents: Garner would play the mother, and we hear an offer is out to Mark Wahlberg to star opposite her as the dad, though he's expected to pass. (Vulture also hears that Joaquin Phoenix is on the "next step" of candidates to be offered the part if Wahlberg does say no.)
Peter Hedges (About a Boy) is signed on to direct the latter of the two films, and if Joaquin gets cast Hedges will have his hands full trying to keep the looney tunes actor away from the impressionable young talent. Number one rule on set is no matter what Joaquin tells you, he DOES NOT have the secrets to success. His lessons always end in pooping on someone's personal property.
Spacey churns out another intense performance.
Kevin Spacey stars in George Hickenlooper's Casino Jack, the true life story of corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Co-starrring Barry Pepper and Kelly Preston, it looks like a fun, light-hearted approach to a story about a fat cat who laughed his way to the bank after robbing this country of millions of dollars. With house foreclosures up 25% since last August, that's exactly what audiences want to see nowadays, right? Why aren't you answering? And why are you sitting in your soon to be repoed car in a closed garage with the engine running? That's a waste of gas, silly-bean.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
Maggie Q is busy up in Toronto kicking butt on the set of her new CW show “Nikita.” The Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills got a sneak peak at the second episode last night. The rest of us get to see it tonight. Executive producer Craig Silverstein was there to tell us about the sexy, badass movies Q will unleash in the next few weeks.
More after the jump…
If minor spoilers frighten you, turn back now. “The Cleveland Show” season premiere opens with Cleveland behaving really inappropriately with children. Donna even joins him. Probably the best development of Cleveland’s character in his spinoff is that he’ll get really angry and swear. He’s not the harmless neighbor anymore, but his anger is really only personal frustration.
This is another Kanye West episode. You may remember, or you may be hearing for the first time right now, that he plays local rap artist Kenny West. He seems to have a good sense of humor, giving voice to Kenny’s self-referential comment on the women in his videos, and dissing Rock of Love.
More after the jump…
These bible dudes is BEEFIN'.
And now for news that will cause Stephen Hawking to wank off. Alex Proyas (Dark City, I, Robot, Knowing) is set to make standard English requirements badass! He's just set up a deal with Legendary Pictures to adapt John Milton's 17th-century poem "Paradise Lost" into a feature film.
The poem tells the story of the epic war that was fought in Heaven between archangels Michael and Lucifer. It's reported that the film will be action-heavy and feature aerial warfare, possibly in 3D (read: definitely in 3D). Sounds like this could tick off a few religious groups, as it's sure to raise heated debate. All I know is that if there truly is a God, this project won't feature Will Smith or Nicolas Cage. (Variety)
Carl Ellsworth has signed on to scare the crap out of little kids who don't yet know the horrors of real life. The Disturbia and Red Eye screenwriter will adapt the popular childrens book series Goosebumps for the big screen. Two years ago the writers of 1408 took a crack at the material, but Columbia pictures must have thought it wasn't goosebumpy enough.
Back in the day, I used to be a huge fan of this series. I remember flipping through the Scholastic Books order sheet in my 4th grade class and getting psyched when I saw a new Goosebumps was available. Unfortunately The Night of the Living Dummy no longer sends chills up my spine, but the words PAST DUE on an envelope terrify me. (THR)
Shawn Levy has just brought LARPing to a whole 'nother level. Paramount has announced that the Night At The Museum director will bring an adaptation of Spike TV's "Deadliest Warrior" to the big screen. The format of the show pits fighters throughout history against one another in a hypothetical battle to the death. Experts then gather information to determine who would be the likely victor. The plotline for the film is being kept under wraps for the moment, so sadly we won't learn what circumstances will bring an Apache and a Spetsnaz into the arena together at this time.
Our condolences to the directors who missed out on this project. Peter Berg must be beside himself. (Cinema Blend)
King Kong, the world’s most iconic ape, is climbing off the silver screen and onto the Great White Way. Global Creatures, an Australian company currently producing "Walking With Dinosaurs," is working on a stage adaptation of the classic Hollywood film complete with a “20-foot-tall, animatronic incarnation” of Kong.
Unlike the ending to the classic film, the proposed robot Kong will most likely not break free of its chains and run amok in downtown New York. However, the state-of-the-art special effects may not be enough to carry the play. “Lennon,” a 2005 musical based on the life of the iconic Beatle, failed to draw an audience despite having a 15-foot-tall laser-wielding Ringo Star. (Variety)
But watch for X-Wings before you step off the curb.
Ewok it out with these links.
The 10 Best Heist Movie Disguises (Moviefone)
Customize Your Own Burger And Get Paid For It (Asylum)
8 Awesome Videos Of Animals Playing Video Games (Ranker)
The 14 Biggest Pitfalls In Drug Trafficking (HolyTaco)
Animation: Werner Herzog Rescuing Joaquin Phoenix From A Car Crash (FilmDrunk)
Tune In: "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" Season 6 (Maxim)
The Undateable Staten Island Girl (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of Celebrities Looking Like Muppets (EgoTV)
The Least Anticipate New Fall Shows (Pajiba)
The Kenny Powers Workout Plan (Unreality)
Another Wild Baseball Brawl (TotalProSports)
5 Pokemon Episodes BANNED in America (Smosh)
Harder Hits, Better Faceoffs In EA Sports' NHL '11 (BroBible)
Anna Kournikova In A 3D Maxim Photo Shoot (CelebJihad)
The Reem Episode 6-The Career Of Alistar Overeem (CagePotato)
Justin Timberlake: Pop Star And Oscar Contender? (PopEater)
Made Man's Ultimate Vegas Vacation (MadeMan)
Here’s a surprise of the fall TV season. This family relationship sitcom is actually really funny. I wouldn’t normally be into family bickering and wedding plans and slacker boyfriends and meddling parents and uptight boyfriends. “Better With You” just does it right.
We meet three couples right away. Mia (Joanna Garcia) and Casey (Jake Lacy) are the new lovey dovey duo. Maddie (Jennifer Finnigan) and Ben (Josh Cooke) are the familiar compatible couple. Vicky (Debra Jo Rupp) and Joel (Kurt Fuller) are the long married parents who are over it all.
Nothing new, right? In most sitcoms, these would be annoying stereotypes, but on “Better With You” they’re way more clever. We’ll call it “true.” Each relationship actually demonstrates positive things. There’s humor in any pattern so you can enjoy that without being one of those shows that complains about how relationship play out and how men do things one way and women do them another way.
More after the jump…
There's absolutely nothing wrong with this idea. Hulk Hogan has signed on to play a judge in the kids live-action game show "Hogan's Court." We've seen him lay down the law in Suburban Commando, but sh*t is about to get non-fictional:
The show will feature Hogan presiding over everyday sibling disputes: Is a brother's sneakers fouling the house? Is a sister spending too much time in the bathroom?
"I am really looking forward to developing such an entertaining series with great production partners," Hogan said in a statement about the game show/reality series now in development. "We want this to be one of those rare shows that kids and their families can watch together, and all find something to laugh about," he added.
It's not going to be so funny when Judge Hogan sentences little Annie to death by lethal injection for making her brother's favorite t-shirt "smell like girl." Or God forbid he tries a cooties case. Is a garish former wrestler really suited to make these landmark decisions? I suppose we all have to pay alimony somehow. (THR)
I sort of gave up on “American Dad” a while ago but if it’s always as edgy as this episode, I might have to put it back in my rotation. This episode’s not coasting on the one joke of right wing pro-Americana and it’s even got lots of pop culture references, even without the cutaway setup of “Family Guy.”
The 100th episode of “American Dad” promises to kill 100 characters. They put up a death counter and they keep playing with it. Then it totally cheats which is actually the only funny way to pay off that gag.
More after the jump..
The impossible task of squeezing Kevin James into a stock car has most likely led to his newest project. The comedian has agreed to fall down and get hit in the groin a lot in an untitled mixed martial arts movie. In the film, James stars as a teacher who moonlights as a mixed martial artist in order to prevent budget cuts from shutting down the school's music program. If Sony is truly in need of a title for this, may I suggest Mr. Hollandaise's Opus? Because he's very fat, you see.
Please make all checks out to cash. (Deadline)
Blowing out magical birthday candles, touching an ancient artifact, pissing off a gypsy, and wanting to bang Olivia Wilde so hard. All are now acceptable catalysts for the plots of body swapping comedies. Wilde just joined the cast of David Dobkin's The Change Up.
In the film, Jason Bateman plays a married man who switches bodies with his slacker best friend Ryan Reynolds. Wilde plays a co-worker of Bateman and is cited as a reason for the body swap. I assume that means so that he could bang her. I guess it could mean something else, but this is what makes the most sense to me. It's the perfect plan, and I'm sure guys everywhere are going to try to pull it off themselves. Now Hans, here. Hold this live electrical wire at precisely the same time as me. (Deadline)
He came back as M. Night Shyamalan.
Daniel Stamm, director of The Last Exorcism, has agreed to direct the M. Night Shyamalan-produced Reincarnate, formerly titled Twelve Strangers. The film, scripted by Chris Sparling (Buried), follows a jury haunted by supernatural forces while deciding the fate of an accused murderer. Shyamalan and Sparling clearly get their kicks by locking people in things. Ryan Reynolds in a coffin, random people and the Devil in an elevator, and now jury members in a room. I hope the jury at least gets sandwiches. …Sandwiches tormented by supernatural forces. TWIST! (Deadline)
The Town is filled with juicy actor soliloquies and detailed action sequences, but they are heinously pieced together in a by-the-numbers dramatic plot laden with one mushy romance.
From the action-packed prologue we think that we will be in for a ride through the criminal and FBI robbery division world of the Charlestown neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. Yet after the opener, the movie rolls downhill into a story about Charlestown townie bank robber Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck emoting with smirks, scowls, and sad watery eyes), who should really get the hell out of Boston before he ends up dead or in prison. MacRay shares this fate with his fellow bank robbing partner Jim Coughlin (Jeremy Renner in another intense performance) while finding love with a recent bank teller hostage Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) and being pursued by the frumpy FBI robbery agent Fawley (Jon Hamm showing that he is far more comfortable playing Don Draper than this sexless, boring-ass of a crusader here).
More after the jump…
“The Big Bang Theory” brings its A game when it moves to Thursdays. They’ve got an episode that should keep all their fans comfortable with the new night, and it’s broad enough that it won’t scare off the Thursday night visitors.
It comes up with a situation that certainly puts Sheldon (recent Emmy winner Jim Parsons) in a position to let his personality loose. There’s also a technology story that’s a little lowbrow, but in an intellectual context. The A and B story provide a good balance of relationship humor and nerd humor. I’m surprised it took the show this long to go where the B story goes.
More after the jump…
The first trailer for The Tourist starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (use a acronym, dude) is up. The remake of the French film Anthony Zimmer stars Depp as a bumbling American who becomes embroiled in a plot to blah, blah, blah. Angelina Jolie co-stars as a spy for the eleventy-billionth time in her career, and does her best Gemma Arterton impression. Also, there is tango dancing. It's mandatory that spies tango.
Watch the trailer after the jump…
Screen Junkies fans (yes, we have them) Sara and Janelle decided to show off their new gear by having a movie night. They sent us the pics and now I share them with you. I call this piece "S&J For SJ."
Well hello, Ladies. Where'd you get that snazzy swag?
Circa 1996, when VHS and 'Tin Cup' were popular.
"How are we gonna play these?!"
MTV is continuing to diversify its creative landscape (translation: showing less Ke$ha videos) by picking up two new scripted programs. Following the lead set by nerd-with-massive-hog dramedy "The Hard Times Of RJ Berger," the network has greenlit "That Girl" and "Death Valley."
"That Girl" tells the story of a high school student who becomes popular after an accident leads her classmates to believe she attempted suicide. "Death Valley" is a feaux-documentary series starring Ben Linus's hot daughter from "Lost" Tania Raymonde as a monster hunter in the San Fernando Valley. Think of it as somthing like "Buffy" meets "Cops." Or like "Ghosthunters" but with actual plots and events happening. (THR)
Funny little video that won't take up too much of your time. If you enjoy "Community" you should watch. Then you can go back to your nap. (Vulture)
Peeps these links if you're not too sweepy.
Ryan Reynolds Is Returning To TV? (TVSquad)
Scorned Domino's Employee Gets Extra-Crispy Revenge (Asylum)
7 Frustrating Creationist Policies In Public Schools (Ranker)
Online Sperm Banks May Not Be Trustworthy (HolyTaco)
Hostess Wants To Put Ryan Reynolds' Balls In Your Mouth (FilmDrunk)
Classics Upgraded: Utility Players (Maxim)
Old Lady Gets Arrested For Wearing A Whipped Cream Bra (BarStoolSports)
6 Things We Hope To Learn From 'The Social Network' Movie (EgoTV)
If I Wanted Mindless Entertainments, I'd Go To The Movies (Pajiba)
Sexy Halloween Costumes Are Branching Out (Unreality)
9 Douchebags Wearing Starter Jackets (TotalProSports)
The Most Ingenious Geek Costumes Ever (Smosh)
What 's Your Funniest Or Craziest Learning-To-Drive Story? (BroBible)
Emma Watson Bring Back The Brigette Nelson Look (CelebJihad)
Hot Potato: Melissa Jo, 'Southern Belle With A Twist' (CagePotato)
Jamie Foxx Wants To Golf With Halle Berry (PopEater)
Healthy Alternative Pizza Toppings (MadeMan)
“How I Met Your Mother” is a comedy with as many secrets as “Lost.” I can’t really spoil anything that happens in the season premiere, so I’ll just try to talk about the comedy and tease the cool stuff that develops in the plot.
It opens with something that a new viewer to the show might think is a big reveal. Of course we know they never get right to the point. They like to set up some future event and then go back and slowly lead back up to it until we realize what we thought we were seeing wasn’t actually what we were seeing.
More after the jump…
I had an interesting experience with “Outsourced.” I watched it over the summer and wasn’t impressed. It just didn’t make me laugh. I didn’t care if it was offensive or not, it just wasn’t funny. Then I saw it again with an audience at a public screening and it got more laughs, and was endearing. I had the same experience with “Community” last year, although “Outsourced” isn’t as good as “Community” even the second time around.
It’s a weird conundrum. What good is playing well to a crowd on TV? Most of the time we’re going to watch it by ourselves. I guess it can give you a quicker sense of the elements that might grow on you in repeat viewings. It won’t take several episodes to realize Abed and Troy are the funny ones if you see people laughing at them right away. That’s “Community” though. “Outsourced” still doesn’t have an Abed and Troy.
More after the jump…
Gary Ross is the frontrunner to direct the child gladiator epic Hunger Games. Though the deal is not in place yet, the Pleasantville and Seabiscuit director is now in talks with Lionsgate to murder childeren in what is expected to be the first film in a huge franchise.
The film tells the story of teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18 who are sacrificed by their communities to take part in a reality show where they hunt one another for sport. Obviously no casting has been announced yet, but I'm pulling for Justin Bieber. (Deadline)
I’m always happy when I get an episode of “The Simpsons” early. I haven’t missed one in 22 years. It was appointment viewing and VCR taping long before there was DVR. Now getting a screener just gives me a bonus treat, since I’m so up to date I’m jonesing for the newest one.
This season’s premiere is really guest star centric and the best jokes are courtesy of the guests. That’s unusual because usually guest stars play minor roles, or at least they’re in on the “Simpsons” joke. This one really depends on them.
More after the jump..
As if the The Human Centipede isn't a sick enough concept, now there's a porn parody. The Human Sexipede is sure to be jam packed with ATM that the captive test subjects will think is icky at first, but then totally embrace. The final line from the mad scientist in the trailer really sums up the entire production. If any of you guys see the full movie let me know how it is. I'm going to stand by the fact I haven't already watched it ten times today.
Check out The Human Sexipede trailer after the jump…