LETHAL WEAPON: I’m Too Old for This Sh*t!
Tuesday, March 10 by

So, according to Moviehole.net, another Lethal Weapon (that would make it 5) got put on ice by Warner Bros.  The words came straight from the mouth of series creator Shane Black, who was up to direct the movie himself.Apparently Mel Gibson turned it down because the studio wouldn't let Richard Donner direct it.  And now Mel won't answer Joel Silver's calls.  Danny Glover's sweet residuals from Gone Fishin' have just about dried up by now, so I'm guessing about half those voicemails from Joel Silver "trying to get the gang back together" sound remarkably like Danny Glover.In any case, Weapon 5's script supposedly had Riggs and Murtaugh teaming up once more, but this time alongside Murtaugh's son, also an LAPD officer. I see a trend here…

TUESDAY TV PREVIEW
Tuesday, March 10 by

So it's come to this. Another Tuesday of pretty random selections; Snoop Dogg talking 'heart' (as in the kind Rudy Ruettiger had) with some NFL superstars, the beginning and end of New York City as we know it, and Dave Mordal shooting fruitcakes into the air. Tomorrow, randomness gives way for one of the (if not the) best show on TV to return. Your preview after the break.

FOX REBOOTS FANTASTIC 4
Tuesday, March 10 by

According to IESB this morning, 20th Century Fox is officially preparing to reboot their Fantastic Four franchise.Fox's original Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer performed below expectations for the studio, so they're cleaning house.  The movies did well financially (a bit over $600 million worldwide combined), but the fans and critics were harsh.  So Fox said it was clobberin' time and cleaned house.

HEROES: Old Man Gray
Tuesday, March 10 by

Claire has to decide whether she's going to help Eric Doyle or not, and her two dads are still caught with Danko's dealings when they discover what he's done to Parkman.  Sylar finally meets up with old pops, and finds something very differnet from what he expected. Hiro and Ando also pop up, too on their quest to find and protect Matt Parkman. Check out the full story after the jump. 

MORNING NEWS ROUNDUP
Tuesday, March 10 by

So, not only could we be getting a Pirates of the Caribbean 4, but Britain's coolest comedian alive, Russell Brand, could be joining the cast.  I don't know about you, but I think Brand is exactly what the series needs.  You know people will come to theaters in droves regardless, but I could overlook what'll likely be the most convoluted plot yet if Mr. Brand is trading verbal blows with Cap'n Jack Sparrow.  Or maybe they won't be adversaries… maybe… they're brothers?  Let the speculation commence. Here’s your morning news. Russell Brand talks Pirates 4 (ComingSoon.Net) Kubrick still alive after being dead ten years (The Playlist)

House Recap: The Social Contract
Monday, March 9 by

You know there is a House M.D. soundtrack in South Africa? And Hugh Laurie sings on it? That is boss. This week’s episode of House starts at a celebration for an author. His book of short stories is being published. After the author gives a speech thanking the audience, he sits back at his table. He is immediately berated with insults by someone sitting at the table. However, after every insult the man apologizes. After a while, the insulting-man’s nose starts to bleed and he passes out. We have our patient. The team is assembled in House’s office, discussing the case of this new patient. They discuss a historical case of a man who was impaled in the head with a railroad spike.  The man was argumentative and hostile after the accident. House orders a nasal probe and they use this historical case as a basis for their search.

MUST-SEE MONDAY LINK DUMP
Monday, March 9 by

Death at a Funeral remake decidedly un-British (FilmDrunk)Lionsgate unleashes RAZORTOOTH (Dread Central)VFX guru Ralston gives it up to Gump (Hero Complex)Prince of Persia gets new title (CHUD)Alec Baldwin to host TCM's Essentials (Variety)Obama Zombies!  (Holy Taco)

24 Recap: 8PM-9PM
Monday, March 9 by

President Taylor is bleeding from the mouth after the swift slap from General Juma. Her daughter, crying, tells her how sorry she was for being a little brat. Juma's goons then drag away the President.Bauer whispers to Buchanan. Apparently there's an oxygen feed coming from the safe room, and if sparked, could blow away some Juma's men and give some time to get the President out."I'll read your statement," Taylor says, "but you have to release some hostages first." Juma surprisingly complies, takes one of the hostages, brings him to his feet and then caps him right in the head. Shit! Juma then demands the President do the statement. "The world is waiting Madame President."A live feed straight to internet, broadcasts Taylor's statement. She says that America's at fault, that it's a criminal act of opression from a power hungry country, etc.

INDIANA JONES & THE LEAKED TRANSCRIPT
Monday, March 9 by

According to Mystery Man on Film, there is a 125-page Transcript of the original story meeting between Spielberg, Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan for Raiders of the Lost Ark.  No one knows if it's real yet.  No one cares.  No time for love, Dr. Jones!  Just grab it before someone takes it down!!!     Find the link after the jump…

James Franco Is Now An Author
Monday, March 9 by

The Ape.After the jump, we have an exclusive sneak peek at the book's cover art.

TELE-VISIONS: KALEY CUOCO
Monday, March 9 by

Over the past couple seasons, Monday night on CBS has officially become the most ridiculous night on television, thanks to Ms. Kaley Cuoco, who plays Penny on The Big Bang Theory. My guess is that Penny came about late in the show's development stages, in a meeting between the writers and network execs.  My guess is, it went down a little something like this:

Commanding Monday TV Preview
Monday, March 9 by

Tonight, there's a wide range of entertainment for your viewing pleasure. A man diagnosed with the Liar Liar syndrome is brutally honest with the staff on House; General Juma totally commandeers the White House on 24; Sylar finally meets his father on Heroes; Summer Glau from Terminator:TSCC gives the nerds on The Big Bang Theory a collective boner; and John Matrix blows up everything in sight and swears at bad guys in Commando. Your preview after the break.

The Big Bang Theory
Monday, March 9 by

Leonard and Sheldon are brilliant physicists, the kind of "beautiful minds" that understand how the universe works. But none of that genius helps them interact with people, especially women. All this begins to change when a free-spirited beauty named Penny moves in next door. Sheldon, Leonard's roommate, is quite content spending his nights playing Klingon Boggle with their socially dysfunctional friends, fellow CalTech scientists Wolowitz and Koothrappali. However, Leonard sees in Penny a whole new universe of possibilities… including love.Network: CBSAirs: 8/7c

Around The Web: SANDWICH OF TERROR
Monday, March 9 by

“Sandwiches are usually a natural source of deliciousness BUT some lunchmeats are darker than others. And when combined with condiments of fear you get… SANDWICH OF TERROR.” If you are a fan of Tales from the Darkside or The Outer Limits or enjoy a cool, refreshing meatball hoagie on a hot summer’s day then this is the web series for you. Best known for Scissor Cop,

FNL Recap: New York, New York
Monday, March 9 by

Welcome back to Dillon, Panther fans. The roller coaster that is Friday Night Lights ebbed and flowed last week as well, and we may have said some teary goodbyes to some characters while getting better introductions to others. Mac McGill collapsed on the field during practice, and has been laid up in a hospital bed ever since. Coach Taylor reluctantly hired Wade Aikman, JD’s personal quarterback coach, to be his interim Offensive Coordinator. If that weren’t enough for him to chew, Tami found her dream home and put that on his plate. Cash left for the Rodeo circuit, and he and Tyra had a falling out over his reluctance to remain faithful over the stretch. Matt became frustrated with his lack of playing time and the receivers’ inability to run the correct routes, and he decided to lobby Coach to let him tryout as a receiver. Jason and Riggins went to New York to pay Wendell’s agent a visit and perhaps get Jason’s foot in the door for that job as well. Things didn’t always go to plan, just like life, and each character was judged not by the original plan, but how they responded to adversity.

Terminator:TSCC Recap: Ourselves Alone
Monday, March 9 by

Riley is back, bringing more drama to John and Sarah’s table, while a small glitch in Cameron’s wiring makes her actions volatile.To Kill A BirdThe episode begins with Cameron speaking to a bird who is flying around the living room. Cameron explains to the bird that the chimney is an unsuitable nesting spot for multiple reasons. She tells the bird that she is a migratory bird and should find a mate.  The little creature flaps its wings, and soars right into the glass screen door, falling to the ground.  Cameron picks it up and escorts it outside.  Holding it in her hand she attempts to free the bird, who cannot fly because Cameron’s is unable to release her grip.  After a moment, Cameron’s robotic fingers unwillingly clench violently, crushing the bird between them.  It’s lifeless body then falls to the ground.Riley Returns

MashUp Monday: Lost Hitler Film
Monday, March 9 by

  Adolf Hitler was the cause of numerous attrocities that lead to the deaths of millions and he ruined that mustache for the rest of us. However I have to give credit where credit is due, bitch can sing.

Breaking Bad Recap: Seven Thirty-Seven
Monday, March 9 by

We join Walter and Jesse where we left them at the end of last season. Our two favorite meth manufacturers are able to produce enough pure, albeit blue, crystal meth to satisfy their new sociopath dealer named Tuco. After Tuco leaves, Walter, who is suffering from terminal lung cancer, decides he will need to make about $750,000 to leave to his wife and kids. Jesse buys a gun for protection at a fast food restaurant after he and Walter witness Tuco accidentally murder one of his lackeys. Jesse figures that Tuco will probably be coming for them to tie up all the lose ends. So Jesse and Walter contemplate murdering Tuco during an upcoming drug deal. Hank views the video from a robbery that Walter and Jesse committed at the end of last season. Hank theorizes that they’re some new big players in town and that they should be careful not to be caught by rival dealers first. Little does Hank know that Walter is the burglar from the video.

Morning News Roundup
Monday, March 9 by

To no one’s surprise Watchmen threw the competition through a plate glass window this weekend, earning an estimated 3-day total of $55.7 million (roughly 4,500,000 nerd-boners). Despite it being the biggest opening of the year, Zack Snyder’s opus came in lower than expected. Some attribute this to lack of star power, the graphic use of sex and violence, running time, and My Chemical Romance’s inclusion. Personally I blame Daylight Savings. Here’s your morning news. Watchmen mainly watched by men (X-Men Origins)  

BSG Recap: Islanded in a Stream of Stars
Sunday, March 8 by

The producers of the original Battlestar Galactica had a plan.  In the late 1970s, it wasn’t uncommon for a male lead in a TV series to have a major pop career.  So when they found out early on that the Bee Gees – the biggest recording act in the known universe – were fans of their show, they reached out.  The plan was this:  the Bee Gees would write a thumping disco tune; Dirk Benedict would sing it; coke and hookers and cash to every AM station imaginable and voila! a world-wide smash that would guarantee a second season of Galactica.That song was called “Islanded in a Stream of Stars.”   I’ll be giving you a taste of the words throughout this recap.  For example:Islanded in a stream of starsDeath and betrayal is what we areTrust and love have gone so farIslanded in a stream of stars

REVIEW: WATCHMEN
Saturday, March 7 by

I own well over 1,000 comic books collected over the years, and to this day they sit “bagged n’ boarded” for their protection, tucked away safely in my grandparents’ basement.   But I would only consider myself a comic book geek on the superficial level.  I was in it for the pictures.  If it looked cool, I bought it.  If I wanted to read words, I’d buy a novel.  And, with no disrespect to artist Dave Gibbons, I never got into Watchmen because it just didn’t look as cool as, say, Jim Lee’s X-Men, or Rob Liefield’s New Mutants.  In my adulthood, though, I’ve read the book.  It’s dense.  It’s dark.  It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  But I don’t love it like I’m supposed to.

Who Wants To Be A Super Baby?
Friday, March 6 by

Stan Lee and the geniuses at the BBC have teamed up to make a kid’s version of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? On the program, children aged 9 to 13 create superhero personas and break down into tears when the judges harshly pulverize their hopes. I know what you’re thinking. It sounds awesome. We haven’t seen the show ourselves because we don’t speak British but we have provided a handy episode guide after the jump. The show seems really severe.

FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS
Friday, March 6 by

If you do one thing this weekend… tell your friends about Screen Junkies.If you do two things this weekend… tell your friends about Screen Junkies and then check out all the links below. Then go see a movie and watch some TV.  But for chrissakes, whatever you do, don't run around outside.  That's how you break something.Pacino and DeNiro sue the pants off the Watchmen (FilmDrunk)Apply for a new girlfriend. (Holy Taco)Five Must-Read Marvel Stories (Marvel.com)Attack of the Show Exposes Dr. Manhattan (G4)

Who Wants To Be A Super Baby?
Friday, March 6 by

Stan Lee and the geniuses at the BBC have teamed up to make a kid’s version of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? On the program, children aged 9 to 13 create superhero personas and break down into tears when the judges harshly pulverize their hopes. I know what you’re thinking. It sounds awesome.We haven’t seen the show ourselves because we don’t speak British but we have provided a handy episode guide after the jump. The show seems really harsh.

THE DOLLS OF DOLLHOUSE
Friday, March 6 by

Over the past few weeks, Friday nights on Fox at 9/8c have just gotten a lot hotter, thanks to Joss Whedon's new femme fatale-fest, Dollhouse.So take a moment to get to know three of the show's lethal ladies, and be sure to check it out tonight.  It's Whedon, so you know he's got some cool stuff in store.  (And yes, Buffy was a darn fine show.)Photos and info after the jump.

Arachnid Hero Man VICTORY!!!
Friday, March 6 by

Marvel Comics is now streaming the first episode from the 1970′s Japanese television version of Spider-man. It’s unlike any Spidey you’ve ever seen before. Giant robots, motorcycles, ghosts, scientists, monsters,…

Breaking Bad
Friday, March 6 by

Breaking Bad follows protagonist Walter White (Bryan Cranston), a chemistry teacher who lives in New Mexico with his wife (Anna Gunn) and teenage son (RJ Mitte) who has cerebral palsy. White is diagnosed with Stage III cancer and given a prognosis of two years left to live. With a new sense of fearlessness based on his medical prognosis, and a desire to secure his family's financial security, White chooses to enter a dangerous world of drugs and crime and ascends to power in this world. The series explores how a fatal diagnosis such as White's releases a typical man from the daily concerns and constraints of normal society and follows his transformation from mild family man to a kingpin of the drug trade.Network: AMCAirs: Sundays 10/9c

DOLLHOUSE
Friday, March 6 by

"They Can Be Anyone You Want…"The show follows an organization that employs mind-wiped DNA-altered humans known as "Dolls" who are implanted with false memories and skills for various missions and tasks. When they are not 'at work' they are living in a real life Dollhouse which gives the show the name. One of those mind-wiped ladies, a young woman named Echo (Eliza Dushku) is slowly starting to become aware of herself and what's going on – all the while somebody on the outside is trying to bring the Dollhouse down while getting closer to Echo – possibly not aware that she is one of the Dolls he is after.Fridays @ 9PM ET/PT on FOX 

7 MOVIES WATCHMEN WILL DESTROY
Friday, March 6 by

The day for which many have been waiting is finally upon us. After a very public legal battle and gazillions of marketing dollars spent, fans everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. Today Zach Snyder’s adaptation of Watchmen opens in theaters. It’s expected to dominate the box office for the foreseeable future. How can the other studios compete? They can’t. That’s why they’re releasing the worst films on their rosters in hopes of getting them in and out of theaters quickly and quietly. After the jump are the movies that will be trounced at this weekend’s box office. I’m not sure why anyone in his or her right mind would ever produce these in the first place or want to see them. 

30 Rock Recap: Goodbye, My Friend
Friday, March 6 by

This newest installment of 30 Rock starts with the end of 30 Rock’s fake sketch comedy show. Everyone is clapping and joyous because the show is over. Frank asks Liz Lemon if she wants to join the writers at a bar. She says no because she will go to a donut shop instead. Pete knows that Liz is upset and asks her about why.Before Liz can answer, Jenna runs up to Liz and asks why Tracy got more lines in the show than she did. Jenna doesn’t get the response she desires and claims she hurt her ankle. She is faking the injury to get attention. Jack is still at the office after the show. He tells Liz he's committed to Elisa, and won’t do anything involving other women while she is away. He sees the writers leaving to go to the bar and Jack follows them. He knows there are no women where those writers are going. Liz and Pete are at the donut shop. The donut shop girl is pregnant. Liz is getting a dozen assorted donuts to eat at the shop, and Pete realizes she wants to stay and talk to the pregnant teen. Pete bails from the donut shop and leaves Liz alone with the girl.