Neill Blomkamp Will Not Direct ‘The Hobbit’
Wednesday, June 23 by

Why doesn't anybody (good) want to direct The Hobbit? Peter Jackson passed. Guillermo del Toro quit. Now we have word the rumored shoe-in Neill Blomkamp won't be taking the gig either. Though in all fairness, he was never offered the job. From Vulture:An insider at his agency, William Morris Endeavor, confirms to Vulture that not only is Blomkamp not doing the movie, no one from MGM/United Artists or Warner Bros. has even contacted them about his directing the film.But they may have considered Brett Ratner. Makes total sense. If anything, MGM will always be remembered for their sound business decisions. Hopefully they won't be remembered as the studio that forced Sir Ian McKellan to wear a "Team Ratner" t-shirt.

Charlie Sheen Back to the Minors with a ‘Major League’ Sequel?
Wednesday, June 23 by

Will Charlie Sheen be back for another installment of Major League? He will if David S. Ward has his way. The writer/director behind the first three films has penned a sequel focusing on Sheen's character, Wild Thing. “Wild Thing comes out of retirement to work with this 19-year-old player. We’ve actually got three new characters in the new film. And if the new film is popular, they could carry the franchise on.” Since he's one of the highest paid actors on television, Sheen should have more money than God, or at least one of those out-of-work Greek gods. But considering his current legal troubles and the fact that he recently did a series of underwear ads, I think there's a good chance we'll be seeing Major League 4 in the not-to-distant future. (/Film)

John Lithgow is a Damn Dirty Ape
Wednesday, June 23 by

They finally made a monkey out of ol' John Lithgow. Empire Online is reporting that the actor has been confirmed for the upcoming Planet of the Apes prequel, Rise of the Apes. The film costars James Franco and Frida Pinto.Despite the misleading headline and hackneyed primate references, Lithgow will not be playing an ape. Instead, he has landed the roll of the protagonist's Alzheimer's stricken father, which is a lot like playing an ape, since both apes and Alzheimer's patients have been known to throw feces. You think I'm making a crass joke, but I'm serious. I saw it first hand with my uncle Bobo.

Someone Please Cut This Guy Off
Tuesday, June 22 by

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Yep, They’re Making a Troll Dolls Movie
Tuesday, June 22 by

Thank you, Internet.Dreamworks Animation is determined to freak us all out, licensing the Happy Troll Doll character from Danish company Dam Things for the bigscreen. Brother and sister writing team (awwww, isn't that nice?) Adam Wilson and Melanie Wilson LaBracio (but she got married, boooo!) have been hired to give structure and dialogue to the pig-faced, florescent-haired dolls.Originally created in 1959 by Danish woodcarver Thomas Dam as a gift for his daughter, the dolls sparked an international craze in the early 1960s, with nostalgic revivals introducing the figures to subsequent generations as well. The feature will expand on the troll dolls' mythology, while giving Dam a chance to relaunch the toy line for another set of young collectors.Someone from Dreamworks Animation must have seen the Trolls in the beginning of Toy Story 3 this weekend and immediately run to the nearest phone bank to call their boss. It's that kind of innovative thinking that leads to the promotions and luxury cars you use to fill the void when your family leaves you after growing tired of your constant absence from their lives. (Variety)

New ‘Inception’ Trailer Blurs the Line Between Dreams and Reality
Tuesday, June 22 by

A new trailer for Inception has star-wiped its way online, and features a lot of new footage. We also get a look at each of the characters (including Marion Cotillard's mysterious Mal), and see a bit more about what the hell this movie is about. From this trailer it looks like Mission: Impossible set amongst the perceived reality created by stochastic neurons. Except there's no Ving Rhames. Which is dumb. Usually the only way I know that I'm dreaming is when Ving Rhames appears. But whatever, I trust Christopher Nolan. I'm just disappointed there doesn't seem to be a scene where Ellen Page dreams she showed up for work in the nude. Missed opportunity right there. VIEW THE TRAILER AND BEND YOUR MIND AFTER THE JUMP…

‘Zombieland’ Director Finds ‘Babe in the Woods’
Tuesday, June 22 by

Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer is having the kind of year all film school graduates dream about and then usually never experience. He's already onto directing his next project 30 Minutes of Less with Danny McBride as a pizza deliveryman, and now he's signed on to helm Babe in the Woods.The Mike White-scripted comedy is about "a female freshman who arrives at Yale and is targeted by the New Jersey mob." See the title, it's a pun. In this case the "Babe" means "hot college ass," not "pig." The exact reason why the babe is targeted by the New Jersey mob is unknown, but if I had to guess, she probably witnesses the mob hit of a boy she befriends in the beginning of the first act. And if I get that right on the nose, Columbia Pictures owes me an Edible Arrangement. Chocolate-dipped pineapple, please. (Deadline)

Keith Allen Hayes Joins ‘The Walking Dead’
Tuesday, June 22 by

Mmmm…. close enough.Keith Allen Hayes is the latest to be cast in Frank Darabont's television adaptation of The Walking Dead in an unspecified role. It's speculated that he'll play Tyreese, the pro football player with a penchant for caving in zombie brains, who joins the survivors outside of Atlanta. Though I can see the resemblance, we're not even certain that the Tyreese character will be introduced in this first six-episode season, as he doesn't appear in the books until issue seven.I think it's far more likely that he'll play the role of Morgan Jones, the first (living) person Rick encounters after waking from his coma. But that's just me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to run some errands before the neighborhood bullies get out of school. (Dread Central)

Robert Pattinson’s Grim Future
Tuesday, June 22 by

This Twilight Saga fortune is most unsettling. Cedric Diggory was destined to become Edward Cullen.

They Found Some Kid to Star in the ‘Footloose’ Remake
Tuesday, June 22 by

The cast for the Footloose remake has finally been set. Yaaaaay… Julianne Hough is already on board to play the girl, and Dennis Quaid is playing John Lithgow's role of Strict Preacher Father. But I'm guessing you want to know who's filling Kevin Bacon's fancy shoes?It's Kenny Wormwald! You probably remember him from the MTV series "Dancelife" and the film Center Stage: Turn it Up, the sequel to Center Stage. He  can dance, and the film's director, Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow), must also think he can act. Why else would be turn down Zac Efron and Chase Crawford for an unknown? Oh and some kid named Miles Teller is playing the Chris Penn friend to Bacon role.Listen, all of this is moot unless Kenny Loggins comes out of hiding and records a new song for the soundtrack. Or Kanye just remixes the original "Footloose" pop sensation. Imagine what Strict Preacher Father would think if all the kids were listening to black people music. Getting crunk is forbidden in his little town.

Kristen Bell Brakes For ‘Whales’
Tuesday, June 22 by

Kristen Bell is floating around the negotiations table of the upcoming romantic comedy, Whales. Directed by Ken Kwapis, it stars Drew Barrymore and John Krasinski as an activist and reporter who team up with the Russkies to free three whales trapped beneath ice in the Artic Ocean.Bell's character is an ambitious reporter "who thinks her greatest assets are her looks." I can't argue with her there. Those are some great looks, but I feel ya, honey. People think it's easy to report on Captain America casting and Hobbit rumors while maintaining these ruggedly handsome features. It's not. You all forget that there's a dude attached to these snarky rants and shoddily-Photoshopped images of Michael Bay. A handsome, handsome dude. **rubs face against mirror like a parakeet** (THR)

7 Memorable Reunion Movies
Tuesday, June 22 by

In Grown Ups, a group of childhood friends get back together as adults for a 4th of July weekend of misbehaver and fun. Most members of movie reunions are bound together by death, marriage, and the inevitable high school get-together. The films contain performances by then little or unknown actors and give us soundtracks of a generation. Like an old LP record played over and over again, the premises might wear thin over time but still get stuck in our heads. Here are your the top 7 cinematic reunions in honor of Return of Secaucus 7, the film that started it all for seminal reunion flicks.THE BIG CHILL

Adam McKay Is Playing With ‘The Boys’
Tuesday, June 22 by

Is the world ready to see John C. Reilly in spandex? The Other Guys director Adam McKay is reported to be in talks to direct an adaptation of the über-violent Garth Ennis comic, The Boys. The comic follows a secret CIA team that monitors and punishes hard partying, out-of-control superheroes.McKay is a strange pick for this dark and gruesome material, so I would expect him to add a comedic element that makes the film more family-friendly. Like Will Ferrell running around naked except for a Superman cape. He can study my neighbor's kid for the role. Seriously, though. Put some pants on that kid. He's six. (EW)

Strange Days Indeed: ‘Dr. Strange’ Headed to the Big Screen
Tuesday, June 22 by

Strange days indeed. Most peculiar, momma. It looks like Dr. Strange is headed to the big screen. Marvel Studios has announced plans for a full length film based on the character, and has hired Thomas Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer to work on the screenplay.The pair were also behind the script for the upcoming Conan film. However, Dr. Strange should prove to be a much more interesting character to write about since, unlike Conan, he talks. (Latino Review)

This Shirtless ‘Conan’ Pic is Confusing On Multiple Levels
Tuesday, June 22 by

Put a shirt on! You're making me uncomfortable!The first official picture for the upcoming Conan movie has me confused on multiple levels.When I heard there was a shirtless Conan picture on the Internet, I assumed it was Conan O'Brien, so I got ready to laugh. But when I clicked the link and was confronted with the raw animal magnetism that is a shirtless Jason Momoa, something deep inside me was stirred. It was something I hadn't felt since high school gym class, specifically the time I was partnered up with all-state wrestler Tim Nelson for weightlifting. The muscles, the grunting, the squatting: it was all too much for me to bear and I passed out.After staring at the Conan picture for five-minutes straight, I felt the same confusing feelings welling up inside me, and once again I passed out. But this time, instead of waking up to find myself duct taped to a flagpole, I awoke in a hospital bed. Turns out I'm an epileptic, and glistening male biceps trigger my seizures.After the doctor explained, I couldn't help but laugh, at least until the pain set in. Unfortunately, I chewed off my tongue during the seizure.True Story. Thanks, Jason Momoa. You ruined my life. (Film School Rejects)

‘The Green Hornet’ Trailer Has Hollywood a Buzz (Sorry)
Tuesday, June 22 by

Sorry, I'm addicted to onamonapia and bad puns.The official trailer for The Green Hornet is out, which is more than I can say for a certain New England Patriots' quarterback (all your supermodel and hot-actress baby mommas don't fool me, Tomás).In the film, the protagonist, Britt Reid (Seth Rogan), is a millionaire playboy who is forced to give up his hard-partying ways in order to fight crime. If that sounds familiar, it's probably because it's the same plot as Iron Man, Batman and every other superhero movie you've ever seen. But in a twist reminiscent of my high school chemistry class, Reid lets his Asian friend Kato (Jay Chou) do all the hard work, and basically just goes along for the ride.It's not a stereotype if it really happened.Watch The Green Hornet take credit for Kato's hard work after the jump.

‘Star Trek’ + Ke$ha
Monday, June 21 by

It's off-putting how harmoniously "Star Trek" and Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" sync together. Stop doing these things, Internet! Stop it now!Try not to hum along as you peruse these links.5 'Futurama' Characters That Should Get Their Own Spin-Off (TVSquad) Giant 31-Inch Mustache Wins U.S. Title (Asylum) Oh Sookie! Anna Paquin And Her Sexuality (PopEater) Steven Segal Beats Up A Mannequin (FilmDrunk) MILF Monday: Randi Ingerman (HolyTaco) Alright Arnold, Put That Doll DOWN!!! (Unreality) Ball Kicking Pictures of 'Footballer Wives' (BroBible) Anti-Rape Condom To Be Tested During World Cup (TotalProSports) Ico: Jack White (Maxim) TUF 11 Finale Ends In A Bloody Mess (CagePotato) Robert Pattinson Turns His Back On Twilight Fans (CelebJihad) Two-Sentence Movie Reviews: Toy Story & More (Smosh) Michael Shannon: A Little Bit Dirty, A Little Bit Pretty Too (Pajiba) Barats & Bereta Edition (Atom) Sustainable Style (MadeMan)

‘Harold & Kumar 3′ Set Pics, Patton Oswalt Making Threats
Monday, June 21 by

Harold & Kumar 3 began filming today in a mall in Michigan, and the cast and creators are tweeting about their adventures. John Cho, the Asian in the dynamic cannabis-loving duo had this to say: "In Michigan, @pattonoswalt in my vicinity, holding a sketch pad, duct tape, and a reel to reel audio recorder. Eeesh." Whoa, so Patton Oswalt is on set too?! Oswalt tweeted: "Maybe it's this Michigan air, but @JohnTheCho is looking huggable, chloroform-able, and bury-able."As much as I'd love Oswalt being there to star in the movie, I gather by his tweet that he's simply hanging around set to chloroform, rape, and murder John Cho. He didn't specifically say "rape" but chloroform isn't used for much else these days. And since Kal Penn didn't chime in on Twitter, he must already be under floorboards somewhere. Check out some pics from the set after the jump…

A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS
Monday, June 21 by

Directors: Todd Strauss-SchulsonCast: John Cho, Kal Penn, Patton Oswalt, Thomas LennonSynopsis: The dynamic cannabis-loving duo get involved in a Christmas adventure.

Shyamalan’s Got A Secret Script For Willis, Paltrow, and Cooper
Monday, June 21 by

"Now you put your fingers between my fingers…"Believe it or not, M. Night Shyamalan has a secret film project in the works that's so revolutionary it would kill you if you knew anything about it. Literally (probably not literally). It's reported today that Shyamalan is attempting to drum up funding for a new project before his latest starts air-bending in theaters on July 1st. It's also said that his muse Bruce Willis, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Bradley Cooper are attached to the mystery project.No details are known about it at this time (because it would kill you). In fact, the project is so hush-hush that only a few executives have read it while under the supervision of Shyamalan's assistant, which must have been awkward. If it was anything like his recent slate of masterworks, the execs probably skeptically rolled their eyes upon finishing and exclaimed, "GAAAYYY!!!!" (THR)

Seth Rogen Blows Sh*t Up In First Official Look at ‘The Green Hornet’
Monday, June 21 by

Though the trailer isn't set to premiere until tonight, we've got a duo of official photos from Michel Gondry's The Green Hornet. The photos show a slimmed-down Seth Rogen as the Hornet and Jay Chou's Kato in action. In the first, we see the boys running away from a massive explosion in full action hero mode. In the second, we see Kato with his gun trained at someone in what looks like a Benihana restaurant. A word to the wise, you throw broccoli at Jay Chou's face, you risk losing your face.What's missing is Gondry's trademark loopy art direction. I don't see yarn or cardboard in either of these. There's not even any macaroni art. Somebody had better swede this movie immediately.SEE SETH ROGEN: ACTION STAR AFTER THE JUMP…

‘True Blood’ Recap: Beautifully Broken S3E2
Monday, June 21 by

Previously on "True Blood," Sookie and Jess (who just murdered a truck driver) were looking for Bill, Sam was looking for his birth parents, Eric was looking to unload all his V, Jason was looking into his soul after murdering Eggs, and Bill was looking to get medieval on some werewolves (but not the cool kind). And that's about it. Onto this week's episode, "Beautifully Broken."The episode opens with Bill having already kicked the asses of all the werewolves (for the most part). Seems as though you don't even have to use silver to kill these werewolves. And they can change back-and-forth at will. So I'm not even sure why they're werewolves. MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Review: ‘Knight and Day’
Monday, June 21 by

Knight and Day PG-13, 109min.,2010 Cast: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgard, Viola Davis, and Paul Dano Directed by James Mangold Screenplay by Patrick O'Neill   Knight and Day evaporates from the mind like most summer action flicks once the end credits roll.   Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz star as Miller, the reflex quick spy, and June, the tough but at times ditsy blonde – two roles they both can do in their sleep at this point. Miller and June are involved in a worldwide espionage plot that they find way over their heads, giving excuse for over the top car case sequences and fireball explosions that will come in the next 2 hours. With them filling script flaws with pseudo-action chemistry and the occasional information of character story and plot connection, action comedy has never looked this boring.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

‘Mad Men’ Season 4 Poster
Monday, June 21 by

The poster for "Mad Man" season 4 has hit, and it's clear that Don Draper needs a chair. If these are his new office digs for the new agency then I have to say kudos. With that view he can probably see so many people having sex in adjacent apartment complexes.In this new season, Don's getting a divorce from Betty and starting his own company at the same time. Someone get this eligible bachelor on a 60s gameshow, stat. He could impregnate an entire female audience with one smoldering glance.Season 4 of "Mad Men" premieres July 25 on AMC. (Ausiello)

A Moment of Eloquence With Denis Leary
Monday, June 21 by

A Moment of Eloquence With Denis Leary – Watch more Funny Videos Denis Leary is known for his potty mouth, and his show "Rescue Me" on FX about New York City firefighters is the perfect forum for his tirades. The above montage exemplifies the eloquence of the program, stringing together the terms c*ck, balls, tits, bl*w jobs, and balls again in a profound fashion. If Shakespeare was around to witness this evolution, I'm pretty sure he'd throw up in his mouth. And Leary would give him sh*t for it. Laugh your balls off when the sixth season of "Rescue Me" premieres next Tuesday June 29th on FX at 10PM/9C.

Kubrick vs. Scorsese Mashup
Monday, June 21 by

Leandro Braga, the man behind the Tarantino vs. Coen Brothers Mashup, is at it again, now pitting Stanley Kubrick and Martin Scorsese against one another. This visual feast for the eyes and brains and hearts took 25 days to complete and is comprised of footage from 34 of the directors' films. My favorite part is 2:25 in when Joe Pesci and Peter Sellers have a "funny" exchange. Good thing Pesci's not in stabbing distance.

Warner Bros. Drops Coin For ‘Ready Player One’
Monday, June 21 by

Strange news this morning that there has been a Fanboys-related success story. The film's writer, Ernie Cline, received six-figures last week for his novel "Ready Player One." Now, just a few days later, he's stacked up another six-figures of sweet, sweet Warner Bros. bucks in exchange for the film rights.Ready Player One tells the story of a teen who competes in a virtual treasure hunt after the creator of an immersive online world passes away and leaves his fortune as the grand prize. It's said to be a mix of Avatar, The Matrix, and Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. So expect hair-sex, gun-play, and obese children. In other words, it's like one of Andy Dick's pool parties. (Variety)

Marielle Jaffe and Anthony Anderson Join ‘Scream 4′
Monday, June 21 by

Scream 4's cast continues to grow with the news that Anthony Anderson and Marielle Jaffe have signed on to be chased around with a knife. Anderson has some experience with scary movies having showed up for a paycheck in Urban Legends: Final Cut, Scary Movie 3, and Scary Movie 4, but Jaffe is new to the genre. And most genres. The model turned actress turned my new obsession has only two film credits to her name — Percy Jackson and the upcoming Locked Away.It's not yet confirmed which characters they will play, but it's believed Jaffe will portray a sexy teen while Anderson will fill the part of Black Guy Who Shout-Speaks How Black Characters In Horror Films Behave. Though in all fairness, if you watch this movie in Times Square, the guy sitting behind you will do the same thing. (EW)

‘Elvira’s Movie Macabre’ Returns to Television
Monday, June 21 by

Do you like horror films? Do you like 80's Nostalgia? Do you like big boobs?If you answered yes to any of these questions, good news: "Elvira's Movie Macabre" is returning to the small screen. Everyone's favorite large-chested lady-ghoul is back, and will once again begin hosting her weekly horror program this fall.The show, which began in 1981, was a blatant "Vampira" knock off. But because Elvira, played by Cassandra Peterson, showed such wonderful cleavage, no one seemed to mind. Here's hoping that legend about vampires aging slowly is true, because those same cleavage shots won't be so wonderful if they stretch all the way to her kneecaps. (Dread Central)

DreamWorks Releases Promotional Image for ‘Puss in Boots’
Monday, June 21 by

DreamWorks has released the first promotional still for Puss in Boots, the planned spin-off/prequel of the Shrek films. The studio also unveiled a new website for the film, which is scheduled for release in November of 2011.In the film, Antonio Banderas reprises his role as Puss, the smooth-talking cat adventurer. He is joined by Zach Galifianakis, who will play Humpty Dumpty, and Salma Hayek, who will play Kitty, a street-savvy cat with eight enormous, tan-colored breasts, each more beautiful than the last. (Collider)