Liz Lemon walks into the studio and a new, handsome intern hands her a report. The intern tells Lemon she rocks, and high-fives his other intern buddies. Jack explains to Lemon that the new interns are former investment bankers. He says they work like hell and don’t have any sort of real world experience. Where can I get a stockbroker intern?Elisa’s (Selma Hayak) grandma is coming to get a tour of the office. For some unknown reason, the grandma doesn’t like Jack. Liz is upset because she is getting someone else’s mail. Jenna looks through the mail and announces that the mail is coming from Liz’s neighbor. And it looks like he is a doctor. Liz wants to meet the doctor after seeing the three Netflix movies he has rented: Muppets, Caddyshack, and a documentary on how to make pie. Jack gives Elisa and her grandmother a tour of the NBC studios. It is obvious the grandmother wants nothing to do with Jack. Both Jack and Elisa are at a loss; they can’t figure out why she doesn’t like Jack. The grandmother stops the tour in order to watch her favorite Mexican television novella – Los Amantes Clandestinos. The show is based around a horrible villain named Generalissimo. As the grandmother turns to Jack to give him a stink-eye, Jack notices that he looks exactly like the Generalissimo. Tracy arrives at work and is cornered by the new interns. They are like star-struck frat boys. They invite him out for drinks after work. He agrees and the interns tell him to get ready to drink a whole ton of beer. Liz goes to her doctor-neighbor’s door to find out if he is ugly or not. After a kooky looking weirdo answers the door, the real Dr. Drew Baird comes through. Drew apologizes for the smell; he has been baking. Liz wants to eat him. Elisa doesn’t want Jack to come to her family events. Jack knows it is because he looks like the Generalissimo and he vows to change that television show to get her grandma to like him. Liz announces to Jenna that he is in love with Dr. Drew Baird. She stole more of his mail and took a picture of him. Kenneth tells them all to keep quite because Tracy is hung over. Tracy says he spent all night drinking scotch and going to a Ranger’s game. He takes some pills that the new interns gave him to try and ease his headache. The pills are actually roofies. As he passes out he announces that he must keep drinking with the new interns in order to keep up his cool image. Jack calls Elisa and Liz into his office. He bought Los Amantes Clandestinos and plans to kill off the Generalissimo. He wants Liz to write the new episode. Elisa fills Liz in on the horror that is the Generalissimo. Elisa says he has been stealing love letters from a poor Spanish girl and adhering to them in order to trick the girl into liking him. Elisa says stealing letters is the worst thing any human can do, but this gives Liz an idea. Liz knows the doctor likes dogs because of his letters, so Liz goes to the doctor’s house and pretends she has a dog that ran away, enlisting his help. Liz and Dr. Baird are in the streets looking for Liz’s fake dog. Liz wants to give up and go get a drink with the Dr. Baird. He says he can’t because he recently got a divorce. Tracy begrudgingly takes shots with the new interns. He looks like hell and wants to die, but is not willing to give up his party-boy persona.Jack and Elisa watch Los Amantes Clandestinos. Jack has written the script so the Generalissimo gets shot and killed. But when the scene is supposed to arrive, the Generalissimo avoids the bullet and drinks a potion that he says will cause him to live forever. The generalissimo apparently ignored Jack’s script and is taking control of the show. Jack goes to the set of Los Amantes Clandestinos and talks to the actor who plays the Generalissimo. The actor says he will not be killed off. Jack tries to reason with the actor and tells the actor he is doing all this because of a girl’s grandmother. The actor says he will not die, but he will change his character so that all old Mexican women will love him. Tracy and Kenneth try to come up with a way to get the new interns out of the studio. All this partying is killing Tracy.Liz tries to trick the doctor again. She says she is having a party to introduce him to the building, but when he shows up to her door it will be just the two of them. The doctor comes over and is confused why no one else is at Liz’s house, but agrees to one glass of wine. However, right as her plan is about to take hold, the crazy man who lives with the doctor brings a dog to the door. The dog looks exactly like Liz’s fake dog that she lost. Liz has to pretend it is her dog. A hilarious montage ensues where the Generalissimo seduces grandmothers with cheap coffee and lottery tickets, and Liz seduces the doctor. The doctor and Liz are about to kiss but Liz’s fake dog is barking and ruins the moment. She puts the dog in the other room as the doctor takes two of Tracy’s roofies, thinking they were aspirin. Liz comes back into the room and the Dr. falls, knocking over Liz’s purse. All of his mail falls out and he realizes that Liz has been stalking him.
Pam is driving Michael on a roadtrip around to all the Dunder-Mifflin branches so that Michael can give presentations on how to make other branches as successful as his, and they run into an old friend at Utaca. Dwight and Jim also have to deal with an emotionally distraught Kelly, who’s pissed at the entire office for having forgot her birthday. And Andy fixes his eye on a young, hot client of Stanley’s.
Finally Michael, Liz, Jim, Creed, Tracy, Pam, Dwight, Kenneth, Jenna, Ryan Kevin, Andy, Darryl, Cerie and Salma Hayek are all swinging back to making us LOAO in their regualr slots with new episodes. Hold on to your butts, Thursday's TV preview right after the jump, giggles.
Kate’s still trying to avoid having to go through the blood test, Ben, Sayid, and Jack have to get Sun and Hurley before it’s too late, and back on the island, more people start to get nosebleeds as their jumps through time become more frequent, putting some of them back in strangely familiar surroundings. Check it out after the jump.
'Hump' like middle of the week. Listen, we keep it clean around here. Tonight's TV has the Lost Island going through more crazy TimeWarps, and the team at Lie to Me investigate a young schoolgirl who was murdered. Get the line up here.
Review By: Harvey Bodwin, 8th Grade.Outlander is the BEST movie where Vikings are fighting aliens which I have ever seen in all of my whole entire life! It is cool because I like both 1) Vikings and 2) I like aliens. So if you also like Vikings and aliens then you HAVE to see this movie. It is so cool!
Dr. Cox is overwhelmed by his new role as Chief of Medicine and burns himself out trying to "do it all". Ted falls in love and brings a whole new meaning to the term 'awkward'. J.D. and Janitor call a truce (and call it off several times) in an attempt to bring Ted's love to fruition. No, No, No!
Outside the walls of Sacred Heart Bob Kelso and Perry Cox secretly share a beer while the old Chief of Medicine gives friendly advice to the new one. Inside the hospital, Dr. Cox learns what it means to be the new boss and burns a few bridges in the process. If You Can Believe It…
I have been watching Fringe for a while. I know that something tragic will happen in the first two minutes of the show and I prepare myself for it, but honestly this is sick. Seeing a grown man turn into a monster sized porcupine makes me think that the world is running out of ideas. It also makes you think how far television has come. This makes "The Fly" look like cute. But before I get ahead of myself, lets start at the beginning, directly after the jump.
Roddy has stunk up the great state of Illinois, the American political system, and now he has the nerve to stink up TV by trying to regain any last shreds of dignity on shows like The View and Larry King Live. Tonight, he visits Letterman, who has bashed him consistently since being arrested 2 months ago. 1 hour of Scrubs and a new airborne virally infected Fringe preserve TV's good name. Enjoy. Ps, Blagojevich.
The big news today is obviously Christian Bale blowing out his o-ring on the set of Terminator. I get it, the dude was acting, someone screwed up, got his eye-line. People yell in Hollywood EVERY day. In fact, people yell in every industry every day. The ones with the power usually do the yelling. Why? Because they can. Plus, Christian Bale is a Mom-Beater. Here are your links, screamy. Christian Bale Screamgate…REMIXED (Filmdrunk)This Whole Arizona Porn Clip Thing Ain't Nothin New (Sound&Vision)Terminator 4 Concept Art Looks Transformery (Unreality)Yes, Even The Most Successfull Olympians Take The Pot (Pajiba)
Two months after the events of “Villains,” Heroes is back with some serious bang. Forget last season. As all the TV spots proudly proclaim, this is a fresh start, and it’s a welcome one. Nathan is setting his plan into motion to round up the heroes. Peter’s working as a paramedic, still saving lives, Claire decides to leave her mother to go do something about what’s happening, Noah and Angela are still working together, Hiro sets up a headquarters for his and Ando’s superhero work, Sylar’s on the hunt for his dad, Mohinder’s a plain old taxi cab driver, and Parkman and Daphne are living together in an apartment when Parkman gets a visit from an old African friend. It’s all in a supercharged Heroes, after the jump.
Wow, the 100th episode of House. How far we have come. Who would have thought a show about a wise-crakin doctor played by Hugh Laurie would have lasted this long? Let me think…. ME, that’s who. The first time I saw this show I knew it was destined for greatness. I remember the first episode I saw like it was yesterday. Sitting in my freshman college dorm room, trying to ignore my roommate’s sickening lovey-dovey chat with his girlfriend. I sat and watched House instead of writing a two-page paper for English 131. And I am better for it. Had I not watched that first episode, I would never have been able to bring you these insightful recaps every week. Well, had I written my paper instead I could have gained crucial knowledge on how to improve my writing skills, but that is neither here nor there.
Sean and Janis are hot on the case of hacking into the interface and hopefully finding out where Dubaku is targeting his next attack, and tracking the van that took the Matobos. Sean questions Larry Moss' ability to further lead this investigation, after his crush Agent Walker was apparently murdered.Bauer and his team successfully follow the van and find out Dubaku's evil lair. They get the blueprints for the building, and Bauer asks Agent Walker for her help. Meanwhile Ule Matobo and his wife are brought into Dubaku's lair. They talk about the rightful leader of Sangala, and Dubaku insists that Matobo tell him all of his political friends so that he can dispose of them."i'm inside approaching the front desk…" Agent Walker walkies Bauer as she walks into Dubaku's building. Bauer, Almeida, and Buchanan are on the roof, in an apparent death from above technique. Walker opens the door for the team. They begin their infiltration of the lair. The team hops into a crawl space above Dubaku and the captive Matobos.
Heyz to you all. I waz jest eating mah carrat thingies for breakfast when old crayzee eyez got a hold on meh and launched me into da skies. Ok, enough of that. Heroes is back on. Here's your nightly roundup.
The post-Super Bowl hour long episode of The Office starts off with a disgruntled Dwight starting a fire to teach the workers how to deal with fire, the hard way. "Everybody calm the !@#$ down!" Says Michael. The whole place goes into chaotic fury– Michael tries to break a window, Oscar climbs up into the ceiling (only to fall out), Kevin loots the vending machine, Jim rams the Xerox into the door to try and get it open, etc. Dwight sounds his air horn, and tells the employees that it was merely a simulation. Stanley has a heart attack, with Michael set on giving him mouth to mouth. Things are off to an awesome start.
When the economy tanks so do the ads. Whether companies are wanting to spend less on high-budget spots or they're trying to be more in tune with the popularity of viral videos this year, most of the ads were stripped-down compared to years past. There were a few very entertaining ones (but nothing on the level of Cat Herders). The game was good and here are our favorites.Doritos- Free Doritos Free Doritos Ad-Superbowl 2009 – Watch more Free Videos
I have no idea how this steered clear of my radar for so long. It's a show, financed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, airing on MTV, about a team of traveling news reporters who all have disabilities. It's being touted as an "inspiring" story. Here's some background that I found on the website and the video preview.
Decepticon forces return to Earth on a mission to take Sam Witwicky prisoner, after the young hero learns the truth about the ancient origins of the Transformers. Joining the mission to protect humankind is Optimus Prime, who forms an alliance with international armies for a second epic battle. -imdbRelease Date: June 26th, 2009Rating: N/AStudio: Dreamworks SKG
It was a bad week for Panther Nation. And after a loss like last week’s, you have to start asking questions about the abilities of Coach Taylor. The annual coach’s barbecue was not held at the residence of Coach Taylor this year, rumors swirled about his relationship with the booster club, and Matt Saracen succumbed to stress all week. Things looked pretty bleak from his standpoint; there were many crises, challenges as well as victories this week as the eternal search for a state championship wore on. After hearing the news of Smash’s future tryout with Texas A-M, Mrs. Williams tried to get another job to pay for his education. This was met anxiously by Brian, because he didn’t want to be a burden, financially or otherwise, on his family. His second thoughts about football crept back after he was offered a corporate promotion with the Alamo-Freeze. After conversing with his mother, however, he decided that football was his true love, and he realized his mother would not let him stop playing until someone told him he could not play anymore.
"This time, it's personal." That's been a running joke ever since I can remember, and probably predates the infamous Jaws III poster, but sometimes, the biggest events happen just because somebody got their feelings hurt. Former Speaker of the House Tip O'Neil once famously said, "all politics is local," but I don't think he got specific enough, because, really, all politics is personal. And sometimes people in power don't care if they turn the entire world upside down in order to get atonement, or revenge, or maybe just an apology.Sometimes, lots and lots of people die as a result.Previously, on Battlestar Galactica, Saul Tigh tells us, the last episode. Also: the entire run of the series.
I can get a decent amount done in 96 hours. Maybe make a sandwich, sleep, do some work, watch some movies, argue with my girlfriend, go to the gym. In Taken, Liam Neeson is on the next level of productivity. Here are a few of the things he was able to do in the same time period. Warning: there are spoilers.
Ahh yes– Superbowl Sunday. Better eat til you puke, watch crazy ads (Sobe has one in 3D!), and bet lots of money on the only game that matters, EVER. To kill time before that you have a movie with Liam Neeson beating the everloving crap out of Albanian woman-smugglers, and a horror movie with an actress that made a porn with Seth Rogen. Oh yeah, the Boss* is playing the half time show. Your preview, and possibly the best football themed music video ever produced after the jump.
Superbowl Sunday. Quite possibly the best Taken Taken Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailer The Uninvited The Uninvited Trailer – Watch more Entertainment
With repeats of 30 Rock and The Office, the final audition round for American Idol, and a Super Bowl Bash, there's nothing too hot on TV to get your panties in a bundle over. That being said, there are always solid movies–so pop up some Redenbacher Indiana Hoosier-berries and watch some Toob. Here are your options.
Cash for gold hilarious ad – Watch more free videosDanica Patrick Go Daddy Beaver Ad
Little Billy spends so much time raising these here prize pigs he can't possibly internet-surf around to get his movie news. That's why he uses screenjunkies.com. Are you a fat kid that raises pigs? Then welcome home. Here are your links, pinkie. Robert Rodriguez To Catch A Predator, Reboot It (Filmdrunk) Megan Fox Is Laura Croft? No She Isn't (UnrealityMag) Dr. Manhattan: I Can Clearly See Your Nuts (Playlist) Why Would I Use My Penis To Work On Your Car? (Tubefilter) Arrested Development Development No Longer Arrested? (/Film)
Desmond goes on his quest to find Daniel’s mother, despite Penny’s immense disapproval, while Locke is determined to find Richard in whatever time he’s in. Sawyer and Juliet have to deal with some hostages, and Faraday, Miles, and Charlotte are captured by members of the same mysterious army Sawyer’s hostages are part of. Check it out after the jump.
Did you forget who the hottest babes of 2008 were? It's ok. TV has you covered by rounding up a list of 100 beautiful babies from the year previous. After your eyes have been baraged by boobs, you should probably challenge your brain with the newest episode of Lost. Here's you're lineup.
I'm not an alcoholic. But sometimes I think that the steady flow of beer and whisky for the past 12 years has washed away a lot of my memories. It doesn't help that we live in a society where we are inundated by media. It's impossible to keep track of everything you've seen, and the similar things tend to get squashed together because your brain needs to create categories to file everything. If we retained the plot points of all the movies we'd seen over our lives we would have to forget other things, like how to boil water or what a transmission is. What I'm saying is that I had seen the two previous Underworld movies but could not, for the life of me, remember what the crap they were about.