In honor of Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs opening this weekend, we decided to feature a picture gallery of sexy cavewomen wearing skimpy loincloths. You might interject, "ScreenJunkies, despite what the Flinstones depicts, humans weren't around during the time of the dinosaurs!" to which we'd respond – and haughtily, we might add – "Would you rather see a gallery of wooly mammoth ass?" Above: Queen Latifah telling us to "Talk to the trunk."If you answered "yes" then you're into Furries and should be reading Holy Taco. If you answered "no" then get get ready for some B.C. T&A.
This one's kind of out of left field but there are rumors over at Daily Stab that Hollywood is interested in bringing the life of Billy Mays to the big screen. You can and should take this one with a grain of salt. I'm taking it with an entire shaker. Steve Carell is being looked at to play the lead with Owen Wilson in consideration for the role of his best friend, Anthony Sullivan. No word yet on who is playing the Sham Wow Guy but my money's on Danny Glover. That and Nelson Mandela are the roles he was born to play.Take a gander at these news links…Final season of Lost will be longer than originally planned. (THR)The Life and Death of Jeff Goldblum. (TV Squad)Couple's Retreat trailer. (First Showing)Matt Damon's The Informant trailer. (Apple)How To Determine Your Favorite Summer Blockbuster. (Holy Taco) Chris Klein is an ACTOR. (Latino Review)
WATCHMEN Blu-Ray Clip in MAXIMUM MOVIE MODE – Watch more Funny Videos Above is a clip of the "Maximum Movie Mode" way of watching Watchmen when it comes to Blu-Ray on July 21st. As long as you're a Zach Snyder enthusiast, it looks like a pretty kickass feature, as the director literally gives a direct presentation during the film. Snyder's sorta like Al Gore if he worked out and used a camera to no-touch fondle Malin Akerman. Of course, what Warner Bros. home video isn't admitting is that, while this technology has certainly improved… it wasn't the first time Maximum Movie Mode was used. Nay, atribute that to R. Kelly's über-meta commentary for his piece de resistance, "Trapped in the Closet." "See, now I'm in the closet," says R. Kelly seated on the couch watching the picture in picture of R. Kelly in the film singing, "I'm trapped in the closet." Groove to it after the jump:
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS International Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers "We in the 'Killin Natsee Bidniss,'" says Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) in this new International trailer for QT's Inglourious Basterds. International, you say? Why, yes. And that means subtitles and title cards in other languages. Here's what the title cards say: There was a time… a France occupied by the Nazis… A New Film By Quentin Tarantino… If you look for heroes… You are going to find them… Those twelve years of French I took are finally paying off. *smiles wryly, adjusts cravate, then swishes cognac snifter while flipping on Maury Povich* Here are Today's Top Links IN ENGLISH, PEOPLE!!! Angelica Dynasty Is Very Attractive (Gorillamask) Children's Letters To God About Dead Celebrities (Holytaco) Yoostar Lets You Act Onscreen With Dane Cook! (Filmdrunk) 15 Animals Armed With Lightsabers (Manofest) Wall-E Cake Is As Delicious As The Movie Is Adorable (Walyou) The Greatest Hits Of Pajiba's Guides To What's Good For You (Pajiba) 6 New Personality Disorders Caused By The Internet (Cracked) Miss Coed: The Lovely Brittany Hawks (Coedmagazine) And Exclusive Interview With Joe Jackson (Celebjihad) Fedor's New Ad Campaign Is Rather Dumb (Cagepotato)Final Destination Trailer: Nightmare On Asphalt (Allleftturns) The 6 Best Meals On The Planet (Mademan) 10 Awesome Various Slow Motion Water Videos (Unreality) Who Is The Biggest Musical Icon Of The Century? (Asylum) Unlucky Phillie's Fan Immortalized As "Kid Who Picked Nose On Jumbotron" (Bustedcoverage)A Collection Of Shaq's Personal Photos Prove To Be Very Funny (Uncoached)6 Movies That Were Glorified Commercials (Regretfulmorning)Support Your Old School Stadiums With These T-Shirts (Bachelorguy)A List Of Atheletes Dealing With Social Anxiety Disorder (Moondogsports)
Film School Rejects has posted the first pics of Megan Fox in Diablo Cody's latest Jennifer's Body. In the film, Fox stars as a high school cheerleader turned blood-thirsty, demonic cannibal after she is improperly sacrificed to Satan. This information just helps to reinforce my theory that Satan is a total dick.The photos below show her in both sexy cheerleader and battle-damage mode.Sink your teeth into these stories…Let The Right One In to be unnecessarily Americanized. (Dread Central) Robert Downey Jr saves background actor from killer robots. (Cinema Blend)A Couple Of Dicks adds a couple more. (Empire)American Werewolf in London to be remade, possibly ruined. (Variety) Amy Adams joins The Fighter. (/Film)
Daybreakers Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Oh, Isabel Lucas… only you can elevate Transformers Revenge of the Fallen to the level of "serviceable," even if your Decepticon character was the most misguided Transformer ever. You're also the shining ray of light in this otherwise dystopian trailer for the new vampire film Daybreakers. It's got dark, moody lighting… music by Placebo… and hissing. Throw in a couple Mexican Pizzas from Taco Bell and you've got every night every overweight single forty-something spends living in his parents' basement. Put Down the Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Rope And Check Out These Links: Melissa Buhl Is Quite Attractive (Gorillamask) 6 Ridiculous Products Only Billy Mays Could Have Sold (Holytaco) Michael Bay And Steven Spielberg Produce James Frey's Number 4 (Filmdrunk) 10 Female Child Stars Who Became Mega-Hotties (Manofest) iPhone Icons Reveal Narcissistic Traits (Walyou) Alan Cumming Is The Green Goblin In Broadway Adaptation Of Spider-Man, Plus More Music News (Pajiba) 6 Items You Touch Everyday That Are Filthier Than Your Toilet (Cracked) A Preemptive Obituary For Alan Thicke (Sickpigs) A Comprehensive Guide For SFW Boobs (Coedmagazine) Tito Jackson Found Alive At Age 55 (Celebjihad) 6 Tips To Survive Couple's Game Night (Mademan) Limp Bizkit Will Not Peform At UFC 100… Does Anyone Care? (Cagepotato) 5 Ways To Make The Office Much Better (Unreality) Meet Pabst, World's Ugliest Dog 2009 (Asylum) A Message To Fat Streakers At Baseball Games (Bustedcoverage) In Case You Didn't Notice, Perez Hilton Is Annoying (Uncoached) 42 Unfortunate Product Labels (Regretfulmorning) Rum In American History (Bachelorguy) The 5 Most Underrated Players In The NFL (Moondogsports) You've Probably Drank Too Much When This Just Randomly Happens (Nothingtoxic) The Most Disturbing Animals On Earth (Atomfilms) Havana Nocturne Is Being Adapted By Some Prominent Producers (Filmofilia)
Television's ultimate pitchman has passed away. Billy Mays, the charismatic and clamorous infomercial host died in his sleep after sustaining a head injury during a rough plane landing this past weekend. The very likeable Mays is currently co-starring with Anthony Sullivan on the Discovery Channel show Pitchmen. This really is such a shame. It's always sad to see someone cut down while their star is on the rise. His contributions to the tapestry of television will be sorely missed. (Variety)And on a side note, can we please put a stop to all of these recent high profile deaths? Keyboard Cat's paws are gonna fall off at this rate.Here are some other morning headlines… GI Joe's newest character poster: Scarlett. (Film School Rejects)Warner Bros announces their Comic Con line-up. (/Film)Picard and Sisco look-a-likes to open Star Trek restaurant. (io9)80's Movie Montages That Make No Damn Sense. (Cracked)Michael Bay to Megan Fox: I made you. (The Playlist)
ARMAGEDDON FTW! – Watch more Funny Videos It was a wild ride full of BANGs, POPs, BOOMs, KAPOWs, and several WHOOSHes, but once all the proverbial dust settled the asteroid with a mission to send earth back to the dark ages took the prize. Sometimes it’s the movies with the most ridiculous plots that have the best pyrotechnics. Keep that in mind all you young filmmakers as your professors drill the importance of story into your heads. Stand up from your desk in defiance, stick out your middle finger and shout, “F*ck you, teach! Gimme more explosions!” THE WEEKEND'S TOP LINKS: Sarah Lyons Is Busty In A Variety Of Places (Gorillamask) Drunken Argument: Mexican Food Or Chinese Food? (Holytaco) James Franco Trashes A Nice Bedroom (Filmdrunk) The 50 Funniest Street Signs Of All Time (Manofest) Robot Penguin Pet Is Internet Capable, Loveable (Walyou) Everything About Tyler Perry Is Annoying (Pajiba) The 5 Most Hated Creatures On The Planet That Don't Deserve It (Cracked) Michael Jackson Is Dead, Douches Try To Exploit Tragedy (Sickpigs) Drunken Party Girl Boob Circles (Coedmagazine) Hot Models Prevent Ugly Scene At UFC Photoshoot (Cagepotato) Sucky Toys From Foreign Gift Shops (Unreality) The Best Of Awful Best Man Speeches (Asylum) Wouldn't It Be Nice To Have A Beer Tap In Your Home? (Mademan) Spike TV's New Show: "John And Cake Plus Six" (Celebjihad) Food Landscapes Made With Bacon And Other Assorted Meats (Uncoached) 7 Bizarre Objects That Were Found Lodged In Hind-Quarters (Regretfulmorning) Essentials For Building Your Own Poker Room (Bachelorguy) Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Are Banned From E! (Moondogsports) Quick Knee To The Face Ends A Fight Real Quick (Nothingtoxic) Inappropriate Workplace: Copy And Feel (Atomfilms) Zach Snyder Is Really Trying To Do A 300 Sequel? (Filmofilia)
This week, we've covered the Transformers from about every possible angle – except their nether regions, because Bay has that covered. But there's another film starting today that deserves far more asses in seats than Bay's bombastic sequel. I'm talking about THE HURT LOCKER, which – if you couldn't tell from the pull quote above – Screenjunkies thinks is just about the tensest movie that's come out since NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
Welcome to the final day of BAYWATCH '09. To recap, we've revisited Bay's Best Music Videos, Pitted Bay's Explosions against one another in the Bracket of Boom, ogled his "Baybes" and collected emails from his personal account. For the last day, we're getting inside the man's head. Strap on your safety goggles and flak jackets. By Ian Sobel
As evidenced by the lazily-Photoshopped image above, The King of Pop is no longer with us. Expect this news to take over the airwaves for the next few days as the networks scramble to bring their tributes to the screen. Despite his controversial life and the fact that he often dressed like a Batman villian, we here at Screen Junkies would like to seperate the art from the artist. His talents and legend cannot be denied and will live on through his amazing music.We wanted to play this post out with Thriller, his most cinematic and memorable video, but the embedding is disabled by request. So… here's the Indian version. Trust us, you'll hardly notice the difference. Less bummerific morning news…Michael Bay doesn't drive to work, he skydives to work. (io9)Stupid economy forces Tron Guy to sell his Tron Plane. (eBay)Amelia trailer swoops in. (Empire) If Undead weren't so bad, I'd give Daybreakers a shot. (First Showing)TMZ pwns CNN (HitFix)
CLICK TO ENLARGEHere are today's top links:Nikki Long On The Beach With Only A Shawl (Gorillamask)Powerpoint Presentation: So You've Decided To Fart In Public (Holytaco)Gerard Butler Says Boobies A Lot In This Redband The Ugly Truth Clip (Filmdrunk)The 10 Most Annoying Commercials On TV Right Now (Manofest)Make Your NES Fly With The Pimpendo Mod (Walyou)Zak Penn Is Penning The Avengers Script (Pajiba)The 8 Crappiest Transformer Disguises (Cracked)Mr. T Gives Awful Dating Advice To Gary Coleman (Sickpigs) 210 'WTF Were They Thinking' Tattoos (Coedmagazine)MMA Fighter Turned Bank Robber Released From Prison, Then Arrested Again (Cagepotato)Summer Blockbuster Drinking Game (Mademan)10 Classic Funny Moments From Billy Madison (Unreality)Capital Punishment Needs A Hollywood Makeover (Asylum)Missouri Senior Raechel Holtgrave, AKA Hooters Girl Of The Year (Bustedcoverage) The 10 Sexiest Big Brother Videos (Uncoached)How To Watch Porn With A 56k Modem (Regretfulmorning)Beer Is Good Food (Bachelorguy)NBA Draft: Who Is Going Second? (Moondogsports)
This just in. Actress Farrah Fawcett, "It" Girl of the 1970s and original "Charlie's Angels" star, has passed away at the age of 62 after a losing battle with cancer. She succumbed at 9:28am PST this morning in Santa Monica. Screen Junkies expresses our sincerest condolences to Fawcett's friends and family. She will be missed. Check out some classic clips of Farrah long before her bout with the Big C… all after the jump.
Well lookee what we got here, boys! Last round, the asteroid rocked the The Rock's missile and the Giant F**king Robot 'splodin' the bus beat out the combustible mansion. Even Michael Bay, with his infinite wisdom and soothsaying powers, told us in a conversation that didn’t really happen that he was literally BLOWN AWAY by the results. Now we're down to the Big Boom and the tension is so palpable you could masticate it like a big ol' bag of Big League Chew. THE FINAL MATCHUP
It's Day 4 of BAYWATCH '09. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen has opened to huge numbers as expected, and we've given you the Michael Bay goods in the form of a Music Video Retrospective, an Explosions Tourney pitting the best Bay BOOMs against each other, and a giant gallery of Michael Bay's Babes. Now it's time for a look at the more personal, introspective side of the man…
Looks like reports of Harvey Weinstein demanding Quentin Tarantino cut 40 minutes out of Inglorious Basterds were premature. GQ caught up with Harvey at a cocaine buffet and he had this to say:"Come on, there's sh*t on that cutting-room floor that'll blow your brains out. I was telling Quentin the opposite—'You should put that sh*t back in the movie… I'm praying he puts that sh*t back in, ‘cause it's un-f*cking-believably great."So, there you have it. The sh*t stays in the picture.Check this other sh*t out!Watchmen Director's Cut is headed to select theaters. (Collider)The Oscars are bigger and longer now too. (Empire)Elm Street actress jumping the gun. (Bloody Disgusting)Runaways cast their Lita Ford. (Variety)Puking is so hot right now. (Cinematical)
THE BOX Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Above is the new trailer for the not-so-new-but-unreleased The Box, starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden as a young, innocent couple from The South and Frank Langella as a devilish man who presents the couple with a big red button that, when pressed, kills a random stranger. Why, pray tell, would one want to push a button that kills someone? Well because the pusher is rewarded with an attaché case full of money. This is either the dumbest idea for a horror movie or the best Staples commercial in the history of the brand. Here Are Today's Top Links:Karlie Madelyn Is Obviously Bothered By Her Already Scant Clothing (Gorillamask) 7 Types Of Cockblockers (Holytaco) News Of A Hitman 2 Is Happening (Filmdrunk) The 10 Douchiest Michael Bay Scenes Of All Time (Manofest) Samurai Sword Umbrella, Or: The Coolest Invention Ever (Walyou) The 5 Most Unattractive Hot Women (Pajiba) 13 Unintentionally Disturbing Children's Toys (Cracked) The Appropriate Way To Respond To An Employment Rejection (SickPigs) The 5 Stages Of A Drunken Night (Coedmagazine) 5 Steps To A Kickass Surround Sound System (Mademan) Amazing Backflip Breaks Fighter's Spirit To Continue (Cagepotato) Ricky Gervais Goes Badass For Cemetery Junction (Unreality) Alleged Scientology Abuse Likely Due To Lack Of Mustache (Asylum) Missouri-Area Hooters Waitresses Beat Heat By Washing Cars (Bustedcoverage) 10 Memorable Sportscenter Commercials From The 90s (Uncoached) Helpful Tips To Conceal Your Boner At The Beach (Regretfulmorning) Get Clean The Manly Way With Manly Man Soap (Bachelorguy) Vikings Interested In Someone Else; Farve Can Stay Retired (Moondogsports) Fireworks Stunt Gone Very Wrong (Nothingtoxic) Adam Carrolla Goes Over The Finer Points Of Carpentery With Andy Dick (Atomfilms) New Clips From Public Enemies (Filmofilia)
VOTING IN ROUND 2 is now CLOSED. Please Vote in the FINAL ROUND.Here comes Round 2 of Michael Bay and The Bracket of Boom. We’ve tabulated your votes from Round 1 and emerged with a new set of combustible contenders. MATCHUP #1 PREVIOUS ROUND: Transformers (59.8%) defeats Pearl Harbor (40.2%) Bad Boys II (66.3%) defeats Bad Boys (33.7%) OUTLOOK:
By Spencer Vickers I am 80% convinced that Michael Bay did not give a sweet sh*t about the first hour and twenty minutes of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. What occupies that part of the highly anticipated summer flick is about as dumbed down as you would expect from a film that is brought to you by a toy company (I would like to point out that my previous comment was by no means meant as an attack on Hasbro, for without them my childhood would have been severely depressing). At points the film even borders on offensive (and not the good kind of offensive).
EXCLUSIVE REVENGE OF THE FALLEN INTERVIEW WITH STARVING ACTOR – Watch more Funny Videos Who needs to get an exclusive interview with Megan Fox or Shia LaBeouf or Optimus Prime when you can talk to the actor playing the guy who gives the pilot of Josh Duhamel and Tyrese's helicopter permission to land? Yeah, that's right. Screen Junkies has the exclusive – and we mean ONLY – interview with Transformers Revenge of the Fallen's Derek Alvarado. Suck on it, Ain't It Cool!!!
All this week, BAYWATCH '09 has given you the goods on all things that go BOOM. Monday was the 10 Best Michael Bay-directed Music Videos… Tuesday was the first ever Michael Bay Explosion Tournament… Well, it wouldn't be a proper Bay-themed week without cleavage. You're welcome.By Thomas Anderson
All this week, BAYWATCH '09 has given you the goods on all things that go BOOM. Monday was the 10 Best Michael Bay-directed Music Videos… Tuesday was the first ever Michael Bay Explosion Tournament… Well, it wouldn't be a proper Bay-themed week without cleavage. You're welcome. By Thomas Anderson It doesn’t matter how many movies Michael Bay comes out with; you still get the sense that he just might be sitting there behind the camera, sneaking a peek at Megan Fox’s stomach or Scarlet Johansson’s ass (hell, wouldn’t you?). Sometimes you wonder if he cast them simply so he could ogle them from behind the camera and create a few off-camera explosions in his pants, but you’ve got to hand it to the guy: he knows how to populate his worlds with gorgeous bombshells who are strong, independent women who often find the need to remove their clothes to save the world, or maybe just give the hero a little pick-me-up.
In the past seven years we've seen a glut of Asian movies remade on our shores. Some of them fantastic, others craptastic. Well, now it looks like the shoe is on the other foot. The Playlist reports that House of Flying Daggers director Zhang Yimou is remaking the Coen Brothers classic Blood Simple in his homeland of China. I hope this does well and leads to more retreads on foreign soil because I personally would love to see a Japanese version of Goodfellas. How great would that be? All the gangsters would dress like Elvis and gesture wildly like Lenny and Squiggy. "What's that? You think I'm clown? I amuse you, hound dog?"Oh my God. This film needs to be made. Somebody get Japan on the phone. Perhaps I can interest you in these other morning headlines…Avatar footage screened at Cinema Expo. Jaws subsequently dropped. (THR)David Fincer to SuperPoke filmgoers. (First Showing)Joseph Gordon-Levitt: "GI Joe is about the acting." (NY Mag)Transformers scribes discuss the nuts and bolts of ROTF. (io9)Sigourney Weaver on Ghostbusters and Alien sequels. (Cinematical) 7 Nagging Inconsistencies in Back to the Future. (Nerdist)
M. Night Shyamalan is back…but there's a twist! He's doing a kid's movie. I guess he decided to take a break from "scary" since the scariest part about his most recent films are how not scary they are. The Last Airbender is about an Avatar who has the ability to manipulate elements and bring nations together. Also, according to the trailer, he can blow out a shitload of candles with palm-breath. Call me oldfashioned, but I still prefer farts. Teresa Noreen Looks Hot On The Beach (GorillaMask) More Appropriate Album Covers (HolyTaco) Britney Spears Offered Role In Time-Traveling Holocaust Flick (FilmDrunk) 55 Ridiculous Photos Of Dogs Dressed As Humans (Manofest) Who Doesn't Need A Keyboard Designed To Look Like S'mores? (Walyou) Best Film Performances By Senior Citizens (Pajiba) Scientology's 5 Newest Celebrity Recruits (Cracked) 7 Creepy Asian Toilet Commercials (SickPigs) Weed Decriminalization Bill Proposed To House (CoedMagazine) Examinging Fight! Magazine's Inagural Hall Of Fame Class (CagePotato) 5 Minutes Of Game Footage From E3 Favorite, Uncharted 2 (Unreality) A Superficial Analysis Of The (Hottest) Wimbeldon Women (Asylum) Everyone Needs Some Funny Christopher Walken Swag (MadeMan) Sean Avery, Dude Who Made Fun Of 'Sloppy Seconds,' Now Getting Mark Sanchez' Sloppy Seconds (BustedCoverage) 10 Funny Pictures Of Celebrities As Bruce Lee (Uncoached) 5 Truthful Graduation Cards (RegretfulMorning) Get An Ornate Bowl Of Fire For Your Home (BachelorGuy) Top 10 NBA Draft Busts (MoondogSports)
Teresa Noreen Looks Hot On The Beach (GorillaMask) Britney Spears Offered Role In Time-Traveling Holocaust Flick (FilmDrunk)55 Ridiculous Photos Of Dogs Dressed As Humans (Manofest)Who Doesn't Need A Keyboard Designed To Look Like S'mores? (Walyou)Best Film Performances By A Senior Citizen (Pajiba)Scientology's 5 Newest Celebrity Recruits (Cracked)
VOTING FOR ROUND 1 IS CLOSED, BUT YOU CAN STILL VOTE FOR WHO GOES TO THE BIG BOOM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHUP!
Halloween 2 (2009) Trailer (HQ) – Watch more Funny VideosThe new trailer for Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 has stalked it's way online and shows us essentially more of the same. It's two years later and Michael Myers is once again rampaging through Haddonfield in an attempt to slay his little sister Laurie. If I were related to Michael Myers I'd move to somewhere like France where they don't celebrate Halloween. Or age of consent laws. (Pajiba) Bryan Fuller's all like, "F this!" (NY Mag) Dexter Season 4 poster makes our ovaries smile. (/Film) Transformers take over Vegas. (First Showing) Look closely and you'll notice Ron Jeremy in Ghostbusters. (Proton Charging) Trailer for Miyazaki's latest, Ponyo. (Empire)
Cast: William Sadler, Nathan Corddry, Joseph Mazzello, Isabel LucasSynopsis: A 10-part mini-series from the creators of "Band of Brothers" telling the intertwined stories of three Marines during America's battle with the Japanese in the Pacific during World War II.Producers: Steven Spielberg, Tom HanksNetwork: HBO
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS Trailer #2 – Watch more Funny Videos There's a new Inglourious Basterds trailer out today, this time delving a little deeper into what the film's actual plot might be. To be honest though, I still don't really understand what's happening with this movie. My level of enthusiasm for this film comes in waves, starting at a high level when I first heard about the film, then waning when I saw the first teaser, and now just very confused about everything I'm seeing and feeling. It's kind of like the first time you had a wet dream, at this point; you're confused as to how and why it happened, and also why Brad Pitt was wearing a white tux while speaking in a thick Appalachian accent.
Kellie Maines Hanging Out By The Water (GorillaMask)What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You (HolyTaco)Victoria Jackson Walked Out Of Year One, Citing Fat Gays As Problem (FilmDrunk)The 10 Sexiest Fast Food Commercials Of All Time (Manofest)Big Lebowski Bobble Heads… There's A Jesus, But No Walter? (Walyou)The Gooby Trailer Is Mildly Disturbing (Pajiba)