He's conquered television, starred on the silver screen, and surfed the internet. Now, comedian extraordinaire Jerry Seinfeld has set his sites on Broadway….off Broadway, to be exact. Seinfeld will direct "Long Story Short," a comedic monologue by SNL alum Colin Quinn. The play explores "2,000 years of human civilization and the rise and fall of its great empires, stretching from ancient Rome to Walmart." It is hoped that Seinfeld's name recognition will translate to ticket sales. Most Off Broadway shows close after only a week, sending the vanquished cast members back home to flyover country with their pathetic hopes of stardom dashed. This is not Seinfeld's first encounter with the Great White Way. In 1998, he closed out his old stand-up routine with a limited run entitled, "I'm Telling You For The Last Time." In addition, Monk's Coffee Shop, the fictitious hangout for the "Seinfeld" characters, is located at West 112th Street and Broadway. Not too bad for a guy whose only knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons. (Variety) See video of Jerry Seinfeld's Broadway debut after the jump.
Audio Visual Plus Local Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosAt Audio Visual Plus in Houston, TX, they think a movie about a sinking ship is a comedy and their staff plays around in unspooled celluloid. You know the guy with the hat is a frequent behind-the-curtain browser. Rip up your membership card immediately.Thanks to Brett W. for sending this over.We're up to our EARS in links! 5 Best Fight Scenes You've Never Seen (Moviefone) Jonah Hill On Hiding Drugs Up His Butt (Asylum) Details About Gary Coleman's Fatal Fall (PopEater) 25 Horrifying Hooker Mugshots (HolyTaco) James Bond Kissed a Dude? (FilmDrunk) Gallery of Awesome Custom Darth Vader Helmets (Unreality) 37 Photos of Heidi Klum For Her 37th Birthday (BroBible) Erin Andrews Has Some Nasty Feet (TotalProSports) UFC to Host First Indiana Show This September (CagePotato) Kristen Stewart Cleavage Pics (CelebJihad) 20 Hair Salons With Ridiculous Names (Smosh) 5 Celebrity Women The Universe Hates (Pajiba) Learn How to Be Tight (Atom) Date Movies to Get You Laid (MadeMan) 20 Examples of Douchebags Holding Money (RegretfulMorning)
"So then I sez to her, I can pay to have you killed."People is reporting that Charlie Sheen will serve a minimum of fifteen days in jail for chasing his wife with a knife on Christmas Eve and threatening to kill her. That hardly seems fair. IT WAS CHRISTMAS. The most stressful time of year. Who here hasn't wanted/tried to kill their girlfriend/wife/sorority-girls-who-now-inhabit-your-childhood-home during the Christmas season? If you don't raise your hand, you're a liar.But don't worry. Charlie's time in the pokey won't prevent him from earning a multi-million dollar paycheck for spouting off lame sexual euphemisms before canned gasps, chuckles, and wolf whistles. The plea deal will allow him to serve his time before "Two and a Half Men's" shooting schedule reconvenes. Thank God! Not the real God that we all love. One of those sinister evil ones.
Always go with the vampire.P.T Anderson's untitled Scientology movie is looking for a daughter for Philip Seymour Hoffman's character, and none of the prospects are bearded or slovenly. According to Production Weekly, Amanda Seyfriend, Emma Stone, and "True Blood's" fiery redhead Deborah Ann Woll are all on P.T.'s casting shortlist, a list that I imagine is scrolled in ash or bodily fluid because why would he use boring ink.PW also reported last week that Reese Witherspoon had been offered the role of the mom. I suppose if you add her genes to the mix, one of the above girls is a viable candidate, but we better at least see the occasional mustard stain to be convinced Hoffman is Papa. (ThePlaylist)
Antoine Fuqua has announced that his next project will be a biopic focusing on the life of rapper Tupac Shakur. Last week it was believed that Fuqua would reunite with Bruce Willis for The Tomb as his next project, but now Fuqua describes that project as "a conversation I've been having with Bruce." Another recent conversation between Fuqua and Willis regards Doritos Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger Flavored Tortilla Chips. How do they make those things taste exactly like a cheeseburger???Fuqua kept things real with Digital Spy:"It looks like we're doing Tupac Shakur's movie next in September, that's what I've been starting up and working on now. I've been working on that for a while with Morgan Creek and Jim Robinson. I just got the greenlight from him and we're going in September. I've just started to prep that."The director doesn't have any casting choices in mind yet, but hopes to find an unknown for the role. Before he even asks, I officially take myself out of the running. I tried to do the Tupac verse from "California Love" at karaoke recently and failed miserably. And my head was way too big for the bandana. On account of my intellect and all.
Pauly D. looks as sober as a judge.BREAKING NEWS: Someone from the "Jersey Shore" cast is hitting the booger sugar. Radar is reporting that while filming the second season of the juiced, tanned, and greased show in Miami, one of the gang played in the snow. The identity of the culprit is being kept under wraps, but police are utilizing the tried and tested method of throwing rocks on South Beach and trying not to hit a cokehead. It's a numbers game at this point.“Miami is obviously a big drug city,” one source told RadarOnline.com, “and when this cast member want (sic) to score, it wasn’t hard.”Narc! Narc!“Finding someone to buy drugs from in South Beach is as easy as asking for it,” the source said. “It’s not hard and everyone is discreet.”Another Narc!“A connection was made and that’s all it took,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “A lot of things were done in code. Other people knew about it but no one ratted out this person.”I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough of these accusations. I'm going to go mow my mother's lawn. **Walk-runs into bathroom to flush stash**
Breast-lover McG has picked up the rights to produce an adaptation of Kody Keplinger's teen novel The DUFF, under his Wonderland Sound and Vision banner, the shingle responsible for "Chuck," "Supernatural," and "Human Target." For those not fluent in mean-spirited teenager, DUFF stands for "designated ugly fat friend." Or in McG's case, Brett Ratner.The DUFF tells the story of an unpopular girl who falls into the arms of the popular boy she believes she hates. Before everyone gets grossed out at the thought of an ugly person finding love and happiness, bear in mind that this will be a feature film so the lead will merely be "Hollywood ugly." Which means Miranda Cosgrove with braces or glasses or… [shudder] both. (Variety)
With the release of Splice this Friday and the introduction of the film’s monster Dren, played by model and actress Delphine Chanéac, we’re being treated to another marginally hot yet horribly wrong murderous beast for two hours of cleavage and mayhem. And while it’s awesome that the vampires and werewolves in Twilight all look like they should be trying to sell you sweater vests, most movie beasts have no business trying to stir up unwholesome feelings in you. And yet, despite how obvious it is that nothing that can eat you should give you a boner, filmmakers keep slipping dirty little things in there.Aliens
With all the focusing on who will or will not be objectified in Transformers 3, we've lost sight of another important issue. Will someone accessorize their tube top with a gun holster in Resident Evil: Afterlife? Answer is yes. Actress Milla Jovovich tweeted that Sienna Guillory will return to the role of Jill Valentine in the sequel.“So to answer many of your questions in one fell swoop, yes! The gorgeous and talented Sienna Guillory is back as Jill Valentine in RE4!!!” That's pretty much what I just said. You guys could have just taken my word for it. Jerks. In other Resident Evil news, ultimate-re has released a new "3D" poster for the movie. But be warned, it's 3D in the same sense that the "Lost" finale supplied closure.CHECK OUT THE POSTER AFTER THE JUMP…
When Guillermo del Toro dropped out of the directors chair for The Hobbit, one replacement immediately came to mind: Peter Jackson. But Jackson seems dead set against directing the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy unless his presence is absolutely necessary.“If that's what I have to do to protect Warner Bros' investment, then obviously that's one angle which I'll explore.” This assumes that it’s even possible. He explains, “The other studios may not let me out of the contracts.” Currently, once such contract has Jackson directing the third installment of the upcoming Tintin series. Will Tintin, the tale of an effeminate, Nazi sympathizing Belgian and his little white dog, prove to be as lucrative as The Hobbit, the long awaited adaptation of one of the most popular fantasy books in history? Only time will tell. (CinemaBlend)
Martial Arts star Tony Jaa, best known for his work in the film Ong-Bak, has joined a Buddhist Monastery in Surin, Thailand. The move comes after a failed attempt at directing the first Ong-Bak sequel, and the poor box-office showing of Ong-Bak 3. The now bald actor took his vows on May 28th and will serve as a monk for an unknown amount of time.I sincerely hope that this trend makes its way to Hollywood. After the disappointing failure of Sex and the City 2, it would be nice to see the cast forced to join a Catholic convent deep in the Italian back country, or to have Shia LaBeouf commit ritual suicide to alleviate the shame he feels for Indiana Jones 4 and Transformers 2. God be praised! (SlashFilm)
Much to the delight of teenage boys everywhere, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was named as Megan Fox's replacement for Transformers 3. And to commemorate Rosie's new job, her former employer, Victoria's Secret, has put out this video featuring the lingerie model's greatest hits. After all, what better way to celebrate her impending objectification at the hands of Michael Bay than with an objectifying underwear ad/spank film? And based on her performance in the ad, I'm smelling Oscar! Wait, no. That's smegma. See Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's acting talent on display after the jump.
My stupid sisters in-law is a racists!So here I amm, drinking off my ass off, enjoying my brothers bbq, when all of the sudden hes wife starts running hers mouth asbout Spiderman. I don't tal aabout to her abouut being a loudmouth b****itch, so why dos she try to talks to me about SPidey?So anyyways, she starts saying spidermans should'tn be the black guy from nbc's"Cimmunity", (Donald Glover), and I'm all like "why the f*** knot?!" Spiderman is a fictucious characters, so why not let a black guy play him for a chage.Its not like we're taking about a reel charcter from the real world. If Toby McGuire was playing martin lawrence king jr., that woulnd be tottally rasicsit? But spidey man is not real. See what I mean?I hate my sister-in-laww. She is so stupid and rascist. She went to a 2 yrs college and never left home. I went to a foureyear schools andf spents semesters in Spain, so I hace more perspecives, ya know.If you want a good movie about black people, you should watch The Wire! That's the best mocvie about black people their is. I should make my sister in laws watch The Wire, then she'd be cool with black spidey. God my siter in law is a b***ch.
The Birth of Day Man from Always Sunny – Watch more Funny Videos Two cheers for syndication! One of your favorite shows in this whole big, wide universe is coming to TV sets on a more regular basis. Starting tonight at 9pm/8c, "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" will drag you kicking and screaming into rerun heaven every Monday on Comedy Central with four back-to-back episodes. The Gang can be your real friends because real friends are overrated, right The Gang? You can't see, but Charlie Day just nodded his head at me. Eeeeeee, I'm so popular! To get you in the mood, I've posted a clip of one of the best scenes of all time from the show. You've probably seen Charlie and Dennis sing "Day-Man" a good thousand times, but why don't you just stop complaining, huff some more of that spray paint, and click play. Catch "Always Sunny" tonight at 9pm/8c on Comedy Central.
"What's that I see, MGM? Me droppin' your ass!"Guillermo Del Toro has officially stepped away from directing duties on The Hobbit, a film that for the past two years has really been more of a wish than an actual project. Guillermo made the announcement on The Lord of the Rings fansite TheOneRing.net:“In light of ongoing delays in the setting of a start date for filming “The Hobbit,” I am faced with the hardest decision of my life. After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these wonderful pictures."He said he would continue collaborating on the scripts with Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Phillippa Boyens. Guillermo decided to leave the project due to the fact that most directors enjoy directing movies and floundering MGM doesn't have the cheddar to make The Hobbit a reality. Sure, they say they'll have the cheddar eventually, but if the company were dealing with a bookie, all of that lion's legs would be broken and his cubs would blindfolded and gagged in a room with leaky pipes. Lesson: don't make promises you can't honor. Now go back to your burgers and hot dogs, readers.
A cheap and tired joke? Perhaps, but screw you! I'm working on a holiday!A film about an ogre, a donkey, an overweight pussy and woman who alternates between hot and disgusting ended up losing to Shrek Forever After at the weekend box-office. Sex and the City 2 took in an estimated $32.1 million (Friday to Sunday), compared with Sherk's $43 million.The poor showing by SATC2 seriously calls into question any hope of a third installment, which is the best news I've heard all month. However, Sex fans can take solace in the fact that they did better than Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, which brought in only $30.1 million despite a budget rumored at $200 million. (HitFix)
Dennis Hopper has died at the age of 74 due to complications from prostate cancer. The actor best known for his roles as manic, narcotic enthusiasts started his career playing tamer characters. He starred as the son of wealthy rancher Rock Hudson in Giant, and a convict in Paul Newman's corner in Cool Hand Luke.It was his turn as a hippie biker in Easy Rider, a hippie journalist in Apocalypse Now, and oxygen-sucking Frank Booth in Blue Velvet that made us all realize what Hopper was preparing for his entire career — blowing up Keanu Reeves in Speed. Or playing King Koopa in Super Mario Bros. I get those two roles mixed up. Either way, let's hope he's at the pearly gates right now giving St. Peter a pop quiz. Hot shot.You'll be missed, Mr. Hopper.
If MTV keeps up these humorous bits I might just watch their movie awards show this season. Aziz Ansari and Tom Cruise have been killin' it. Yesterday we saw Cruise as Tropic Thunder's Studio Exec Les Grossman rip the pants off a Risky Business version of himself, and now he's telling Rob Pats to not touch a single hair on his oily scalp. A good mane can get a man far in this world. Example: Rob Pats. Check out the promo after the jump. The "MTV Movie Awards" airs June 6.
You know PGA rules have gotten lax when they let Adam Sandler on the links.Thanks to Charles O. for bombing this movie still. If you have a movie photobomb you'd like us to feature on Photobomb Fridays send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.Here are your Memorial Day weekend links. 10 Hottest Female Soldiers in Movies (Manofest)Smoking Two-Year-Old Interviewed! (NotZombies)Stars Who Have Altered Their Bodies for Roles (Moviefone)People Passed Out On Public Transportation (Asylum)Summer Means Stars in Bikinis (PopEater)25 Sexy Soldiers (HolyTaco)Michael Bay Explosion Artist and Thespian (FilmDrunk)The Evolution of Nic Cage's Hair (Unreality)65 Pics of Bros Gettin' Straight Up Iced (BroBible)How You Make a Corvette Disappear (TotalProSports)5 Favorite GIFs for Friday (Maxim)Rampage vs. Evans Weighs-In Live (CagePotato)SOTC 2 Epitomizes Why Feminism Must Be Stopped (CelebJihad)20 Other Jobs for Jesus (Smosh)10 Japanese Commercials With American Celebs (Pajiba)How To Be Tight (Atom)13 Video Games to Play with Your Girlfriend (MadeMan)
Tom Cruise dons a fat suit again to play Tropic Thunder studio exec Les Grossman in this promo for the "MTV Movie Awards." Apparently Les was a producer on the set of Risky Business, and it was his brilliant idea for Tom Cruise's character Joel Goodsen to slide in the room in his tighty-whiteys. I wonder what it's like to slap the ass of a younger version of yourself? I'm pretty sure Time Cop rules apply and you get sucked up into your own butthole. Hey, blame physics, not moi. Check out the promo after the jump.
One of these men has an enlarged prostate. No you're not looking at a pharmaceutical campaign, that's the new Legends Poster for The Expendables. It's about a bunch of men who do mercenary work in between trips to the bathroom for wee wee. I kid, I kid, don't stroke out. In fact, in the new sneak peak of the movie, the guys are bruising more ass than whippersnappers one-third their age. "The Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy also helps with the playful tone of the footage. If they used Linkin' Park for the backing track, then we'd know shit is about to get real. Check out the sneak peak after the jump. The Expendables works its way into theaters August 13, 2010.
Gary Coleman has upstaged Corey Feldman once again. Just minutes after posting the trailer for Feldman's new Lost Boys movie, we received word that Gary Coleman had passed away.He was hospitalized earlier this week after suffering a brain hemorrhage caused from a fall he took at home. Coleman's 24-year old wife/sparring partner Shannon Price made the decision to pull the plug on him this morning. He passed at 12:05PM MST.Best known for his role as Arnold Drummond on "Diff'rent Strokes," Coleman will always be remembered as the Transformers to Emmanuel Lewis's Go-Bots. He was 42. (TMZ)
Survival of the Dead R, 90m., 2010 Cast: Kathrine Munroe, Kenneth Welsh, Richard Fitzpatrick, Devon Bostwick and Alan Van Sprang Written and Directed by George A. Romero Survival of the Dead is so cartoonish, that you wouldn’t be surprised to see the cast of Looney Tunes popping out of nowhere and blasting away some Zombies. Marking his 6th official journey into the world of the undead, legendary filmmaker George A. Romero, creates a hybrid Z-picture that can be decribed as part Western, part cartoon, and part iconclastic horror movie.MORE OF THE REVIEW AFTER THE JUMP.
Beat it, Feldman!! As you can tell by the sound of "Cry Little Sister" pumping out of your speakers, here is the trailer for Lost Boys: The Thirst. Corey Feldman returns as Edgar Frog, who reteams with his brother Alan to fight the war on vampire drugs. More importantly, the film co-stars Tanit Phoenix (pictured above left). If you don't know who that is, look her pictures up and cancel your plans for tonight. The only thing preventing this from being a blockbuster is the fact that Corey Feldman is starring in the Vin Diesel role. If a movie features wall-running and the line "If I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna need weapons," it should automatically star Vin Diesel. He should just mysteriously appear a la Candyman. CHECK OUT THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP…
"SUPER-POKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"Good news for me and all of my demographic!! I caught wind that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is mounting an integrated campaign via Facebook to release its new trailer sooner than expected. All that I and my fellow page impressions need to do is socially network with Scott Pilgrim's Facebook page and click the "Like" button. Once the page accumulates 100,000 likes, the trailer will be released. NEXT LEVEL SYNERGY!!What a cool concept that's sure to pop with me and my unique visitor peers. What a thrilling time to be a live, human boy!!
Lindsay Lohan is starring in posters for Inferno, a biopic about Deep Throat porno queen Linda Lovelace. She's also apparently starring in the film, once they get the whole funding, supporting cast, production start date thing worked out. Lohan spent last week stumbling through the crowded streets and bitchin' yacht parties in Cannes to drum up support. Not the best marketing strategy if you ask me. Snotty quips and vomit have never sold a movie. …that Mickey Rourke didn't star in. Producers were touting along the French Riviera that Inferno will begin shooting in the Fall. They figure if they offer up a general time of the year the bigwigs will pony up some dough. "Fall! Well that sounds like a season that movies shoot!" Luckily it's far enough down the line that Lindsay's court-mandated ankle bracelet will no longer be an issue. Either the authorities will remove it or she'll have knawed through it during a house music, Red Bull and vodka withdrawal fit. (Cinematical)
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time PG-13, 116m., 2010 Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina Directed by Mike Newell Screenplay by Boaz Yakin, Doug Miro…
He may have dropped out of I'm With Cancer, but James McAvoy will be losing his hair regardless. McAvoy has officially been hired to play the young Professor X in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class prequel.The movie will tell the story of the formation and epic dissolution of the epic bromance between Charles Xavier and Erik "Magneto" Lernsherr, which leads to the ongoing fight between the X-Men and Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Seems like a solid casting choice but why didn't we have to endure a casting shortlist? Isn't that mandatory on all Marvel characters nowadays? I won't feel complete as a person until I know that Peter Sarsgaard was forced to camera test in Beast make-up. (THR)
Killers, staring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, premieres June 4th, but you won't be seeing many advanced reviews. That's because the studio behind the film thought it was simply too awesome to be screened for critics in advance. In fact, some executives at Lionsgate felt the cinematic tour de force about a secret spy and his stupid girlfriend was so incredible that critics' heads might explode from witnessing it. Also, Twitter has made film critics irrelevant. In today's socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly around the world. In keeping with this spirit, Lionsgate and the filmmakers want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see `Killers' simultaneously, and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt that this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of `Killers.' Yeah, I bet you did, Mr. Lionsgate PR guy. Kind of like when you convinced that fat girl you were banging in college that you'd both be better off if you kept your relationship a secret. (AP/Cinemablend)
Are you a male, age 18 or older, who has a natural rhythm and loves to dance? If so, would you be interested in driving your father to alcoholism by playing a high school senior in the upcoming remake of the Kevin Bacon classic, Footloose? Well then, what are you waiting for, Cinderella? Let's get you ready for the ball!Paramount has begun casting for the film and has put out a call for digital audition videos to be sent in via email. Nothing could go wrong there; just ask Chris Klein.As the casting call clearly states, applicants do not need to be a trained dancer, provided they are a quick learner (i.e. you've learned to keep your damn mouth shut about the casting couch).Click here for your chance to be in Footloose.